The Blue-Eyed Jail Punk
by Karhien
Summary: John has been sent to prison for patricide that he didn't do. But with the help of a few convicts: a green-eyed psychotic with vengeance, a German assassin-smoker, and the brother of that assassin who happens to be his cellmate and just intimidates him, he might escape out of here if he can survive the prison life. Convictstuck AU.
1. Con I: Patricide

**I found a Homestuck AU in Tumblr that's called Convictstuck and to me, it's pretty cool and one of them said that it's okay to write fanfiction about this AU. **

**Warning: there is OOC in it, then again the Striders are attractive German assassins, Jake is a psycho, and John is a bit of a spoiled brat since he's raised rich and a scaredy-cat since he's been a good boy when he enters prison. **

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><p><em>I <em>

_Patricide_

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><p>"John Egbert is found guilty of second degree of murder of committing patricide. Case closed."<p>

The one known as John Egbert is horrified. There was no jury, no lawyer, no court, and no justice at all. He was punished for killing his own father, sentenced for twenty years for a crime he didn't do. The judge didn't give him a chance to explain that he didn't do it, just stare and smirk in greed.

The officers just shove his arms behind his back and cuffed him like an animal, as if he was going to attempt to escape.

How could this happen to him?

He never would murder his father, even if he did have gotten angry that day. He was friendly to everyone, does safe and harmless pranks, and is open to anyone, just like what his father had taught him…

It all happened too quickly, a flash that John had blinked and couldn't see what was going on. He had a fight with his father about why he couldn't get a girlfriend, his sexuality. He liked guys, not girls, but couldn't find the right guy. Dad thought otherwise.

John stormed off to bed, too mad at the time to listen to his shouting father. He tried to cool off, try to find a way for his father to understand that he's actually homosexual and he can adopt a grandchild but all are concluded as very likely possible failures.

It was a mistake to take a nap…

All John remembered from the rest of the night is that he was woken up by a yelling police with others behind, ready to shoot with guns up, as he was soon shoved to the floor and handcuffed. John only had a glimpse of what was left of his father and then he knew he was guilty for having Dad's last memory of him… fighting instead of telling him how much he loved his father…

But now, to be seat to jail, for a crime he would never commit, John's life has turned straight into hell…

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><p>"Stick out your tongue… Open your mouth wider… Good. All checked. You may now wear your uniform."<p>

John finally gets to close his mouth and hurries to his now new clothes. First day in prison and he is already hating it.

All night, John was awake due to the anxiety and fear what was coming to his life as well as how much the bus ride bumped to every driving hazard there is on the road. He was then pushed to walk across the hall of cells with some prisoners sneering while some chuckled and smirked right at him. He then was commanded to be stripped naked to find… well, something on him. He had been stared at the man in the uniform, all bare and unable to cover him, and really, this is first day and hopefully this is the worst that will happen to him.

"Hurry up, I don't waste time and neither will you."

John immediately hurries up, he seriously doesn't need to rebel since the last time he did, he got here unfairly and became an orphan. He is just glad that they had boxers and clothes to cover him.

The uniform turns out to be an orange one-piece with a zipper that ends right where the… crotch area is. John tries not to blush as he zips himself up, thinking of not where the zipper ends or anything. And John definitely tries to no squeak as the man with the clipboard glares down at him. Seriously, what did he do?!

Suddenly the man puts his hands on his hips. John can't help but tense up and freeze. Oh dear god… This day has turned into a full-blown hell!

John may not be a virgin but he doesn't want to get raped! Especially on the first day!

He shuts his eyes tight, waiting the worst to come and be over with.

Really, why did he end up like this? He behaved fairly well for his entire life, never truly doing any harm except with the fun and harmless pranks he pulled off and that time when he had that secret boyfriend of his unknown to his father until they broke up.

And… and…–Wait, why does John feel tightening around his waist?

"Alright, belt secured and tight, you are now in full uniform."

…Huh…?

John opens his eyes and looks down to see that the tightening was really a belt… Maybe John really is overreacting about the whole prison thing a bit too much…

"Now…" Oh! He is definitely squeezing John's ass! "Get to your cell and go meet your cellmate. We don't want any trouble, now do we?"

"U-Uh, n-no…"

"No, what?"

"N-N-No, sir!"

The man finally has his hands off of John, writing something on his clipboard. He then glares at John once more.

"Now go, I am done with you. Two men will guide you to your cell and…" Quickly, he walks up to John. And he immediately snatches John's glasses off his face. "No glasses are allowed in here. Now go."

John can't help but blink at the man. His eyes aren't exactly that bad, really, but he is so used to wearing glass that–

"I said, _go_. That's an order!"

Immediately John walked out of the room, allowing one waiting to enter while as said, two men in uniform that look really similar to police were waiting for him and quickly grab his shoulders and roughly push John to walk forward.

Great…

John, ever without his glasses, can't help but look around inside, especially who or what was inside each cell. Just like in the movies, some prisoners are big and scary with enough muscles to possibly literally rip his head off. Some are skinny but carried a strong stench of weed. Some were in the middle of being skinny and muscular with facial hair, long and un-groomed.

None seem to be minding their own business. All were staring and glaring at him…

Then…

John is right in front of _his_ cell…

"Strider! Your new cellmate is here!"

"Yeah, yeah… Arschloch…"

John could see a sort of figure behind the metal bars, a bit too blurry for him to truly see what his cellmate is like. He could see he's wearing the same orange outfit and that he has blond hair but that's about it. He really wonders what this guy who's going to be his roommate is.

Is he a horrible criminal like a murderer? Or is he just a small criminal like a thief or a jaywalker?

John really did hope it is a small criminal…

"Alright, John Egbert, meet your new home for the next twenty years."

John couldn't help but let out a barely audible squeak as one of the men push him to move while the other is waiting with the door slid open though had his head turned, watching the mysterious cellmate. John could hear an almost audible snicker as he gets roughly pushed in.

Soon when John is fully in the cell, both men quickly exit, slamming and locking the door shut. There, John is alone with this cellmate of his…

"So," John almost jumped at the voice as it spoke. "You're the new guy, huh? Heard you killed your own father, sounds pretty deep."

John stays silent. He really doesn't know what to say. Should he really lie that he indeed killed his own father? What happens if he finds out that he's lying? Should he say the truth? What happens if he doesn't believe the truth? And what happens if he did believe in the truth and John becomes his personal punching bag?

So, John just kept his mouth shut and look down on the concrete floor…

"Huh, you are a weird one, aren't you? Come here, I need to take a good look at you."

John's body, however, doesn't move…

"_Hey_, I said come here. Bro, don't make this into a fight you can't possibly win."

John just gulps and looks down, his heart racing as he could hear his cellmate getting… clever… He could clearly hear the stomping, the anger rising, from him… Yup, definitely not a jaywalker…

He sucks in a squeak as a hand, rough and scarred, clenches his chin and roughly lifts his face up. John couldn't close his eyes as he stares a very clear figure of his cellmate. Scarlet red eyes are staring down on him with pretty blond hair and pale skin with some freckles surrounding it. He has a more square jaw than John, way broader than him, and definitely taller too…

Yup, definitely attractive...

If John wasn't in this, he might have talked to the guy with open arms, but…

"Niedlich…" Wait, what did he say? "You seriously don't look like a person who killed his own father. But then again, looks can be deceiving."

Finally, the blond cellmate lets go of his chin. He then holds out his hand out.

"The name's Dave Strider, I'm a badass assassin till I got thrown in this Scheiße. So, what's your name, cutie~?"

…

What?!

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><p><strong>And thus ends the first chapter. Next will be Dave's POV. :)<strong>

**Hopefully, it's not too OOC or anything.**

**Thank you for reading and please review. Bye!**


	2. Con II: Cute

**Yay~, people like this fanfiction!**

**Thank you everyone who has reviewed, favorite, and/or followed this! Here's the second chapter! Thank you again! **

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><p><em><strong>Con II<strong>_

_**Cute**_

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><p>Dave Strider has always been one who knows what he immediately wants and right in front of him, all blue and doe-eyed of him with that face that shouts cute, is what he wants.<p>

Sure, he got annoyed at first for not listening to him. But with a cute face like that, Dave will easily forgive him.

"U-Um…" Oh, cute voice too… "I'm… John." Huh, his hand is really soft…

The cutie known as John licks his lips, showing a rather cute pink muscle that Dave might have something for him to lick and suck on~.

But as much as he's tempted, he can't get in trouble due to his fights with his previous cellmate who's a fucking ICP wannabe who can't hide shit for his entire life. There's that and he is sure as hell won't scare this rare cutie.

"Um… So you're an assassin…?"

Oh~, the cutie wants to know more about him~.

Dave, being the smooth German he is, puts his arm around John's shoulders and looking down on him as those orbs of blue beauties look at his red eyes. That type of blue eyes is hard to find in here, even out there. Dave smirks, he is so going to woo this cutie.

"You know it, handsome." Dave purrs out and even giving out a wink.

For someone who killed his father, he sure can blush~.

But before he could use any of his German charms, the bell for mushy lunch rings... This somehow signaling John to move out of Dave's arm and waiting for the door to open. But Dave smirks again, for he could still see John blushing by his pink ears. Oh, he's going to be Dave's, alright~.

A guard soon unlocks the door by hitting the code numbers that Dave almost got. But of course, Dave knows this is the guard that likes nice asses like him but uses force to get it. But due to the amount of psychos and psychotics, the guard sure as hell didn't get any. But with John…

Dave holds back a growl as that guard looks at what is his with interest while it seems John doesn't notice as he keeps his head down, chewing his bottom lip, and showing wide open his ass for that bastard to ogle what's going to be Dave's. No way in hell is he going to let that arschloch have that ass!

So he strides close to John, glaring openly at the guard before he even thinks about touching. Dave can't exactly put his arm around John's waist or shoulders since it's against the fucking rule of having any relationship with other prisoners. Usually, Dave wouldn't rebel against authority now since both his brother and soon-to-be brother's fuck-buddy are going to escape.

He keeps glaring back at the guard, to warn him to don't even think about it. The guard is all dick and no brain, he lusts but can't exactly know how to use authority to back him up and give him the advantage and dominance. That's good for now…

Dave seriously did not like walking with a guard literally behind him while figuratively up his ass when Dave could do better things, like escaping this hell joint.

Downstairs…

Take a right…

…here's where the shitty meals are.

Dave could actually hear his cellmate gulp. He wasn't surprised. This is going to be his first meal in jail. If it should be called a "meal" with the way it looks and tastes. But Dave begins staring as John soon chews on that plump lip of his and twiddle his thumbs. He looks cute when he's nervous~.

But unfortunately, Dave can't look at the cuteness in front of him right now as he now searches for his brother and his rather psycho cellmate (that is somehow described from Dirk to be cute in a weird kind of way) as he gets in line for much. Usually, they always change where they sit so guards would have to find them before listening to their conversation. And because no guard knows shit about German, the guards demand them to speak English or be punished. And look, there they are.

His brother is keeping his poker face strong while trying to stop his cellmate from chewing his fingers again. His cellmate looks crazy as usual and is successfully drawing blood from his fingers as he chews them. AKA, it's fucking normal.

Soon Dave gets his tray, he could tell he got one of the lucky clean ones as he knows what group is doing lunchtime. Dave looks back at John, who also luckily got a clean tray too. His shoulders are too tense and high up. He is clenching on the tray as if it was his damn life-force. And he is still chewing on his bottom lip that's already turn into a nice shade of reddish pink.

Huh, he's nervous _and_ scared.

…It still looks cute.

"Hey," John actually looks up to Dave with wide eyes and looking quite frightened. "It's okay there, John. Just want you to sit with me, das ist alles."

Really, Dave wants his cute cellmate to be comfortable with him. As much as he took lives when he was free and an excellent professional assassin, he doesn't force people to have his way. You could say he is both ironically a killer and a lover. Luckily, it's not at the same time.

There is no way necrophilia is something that Dave or any Strider should try.

But Dave doesn't immediately get an answer from John. Fuck, was that too straight-forward? But it's not like Dave had growled and forced John to sit with unlike some other people. Seriously, for a so-called "high-security" prison, they sure let a hell lot of prison rape and fights go on in here.

But now Dave has his fucked up version of food and out of the line, he should just simply walk to where Dirk and psycho Jake are sitting. He really shouldn't hope a rare cutie like John would follow him like a cute puppy with an ironic bow on it.

Dave glances at the guards guarding in the room. All of them are pretty much crossing their arms and look at the convicts with uninterested and bored eyes. This meaning there will be some time for him to talk to his brother before one annoying shithead would go behind one of the Striders' back and glare down and listen.

Dave can't help but narrow his eyes as he sees his stone-faced master of poker face brother is letting a small (but very noticeable due to being and a Strider and shit) smile on his face.

Ugh, Dave knows Dirk's rather rash infatuation with the finger-crunching maniac.

Dirk pretty much showed his much protected weak points to his cellmate. He makes goo-goo eyes when it seems no one is looking, makes sure Jake doesn't drop his soap, and even invites Jake to escape with the Striders! Dirk is pretty much full out in love with the finger-cruncher. Even though Dave is interested in his new cellmate, at least the blue-eyed cutie doesn't chew his fingers till they bleed or chew them at all. Well, time to sit with them…

But as Dave takes a seat, he hears someone next to him sitting down as well. He turns his head to see, well fuck, the cellmate of his. Huh, so the cutie did follow him and better, is sitting next to him. Yes!

However, Dirk stops being distracted by his rather obnoxious infatuation and raises an eyebrow at John who is just looking down at his lap. "Who's this?"

Dave can't help but smirk and put his arms around the rather tense and jumpy shoulders of his cellmate. Dirk raises both eyebrows while Jake shows to be oblivious of what's going in front of him and eat some of that un-appetizing mush. Action does speak for more fucking louder than words and with Dirk narrowing his eyes, Dave bets he knows _what_ this person will be for his darling ironically "little" brother.

Even though they're twins, Dave is too lazy to actually give some fuck about concerning Dirk since that's his life and shit like that. Of course, Dirk seems to have grown a pussy since ein, he's like that not-so-ironic bitchy ass mother and doesn't get any pussy action because zwei, he's gay.

But it seems John takes a big, deep breath and holds out his hand to Dirk. "M-My name is J-John Egbert. I-I'm Dave's cellmate, n-nice to meet you, sir."

Sir? Dave can't help but snort in amusement while Dirk raises an eyebrow at the offered and open hand.

Dirk may be an excellent smooth talker but that's only wooing victims in fake safety so they won't suspect they'll be killed by the man that seduced and soothed them. "Honest" as he may be, Dirk never really did say the whole truth, just halves really.

But before Dirk actually gets to shake the rather clean and smooth-looking hand, a fork pokes at it. John squeaks and extracts his hand quickly away from Dirk and the offending fork. Dave can't help but glare at the now giggling Jake who is the one that rather harshly poked John's hand with the fork. Jake had a trickle of blood at the end of his lips to almost at his chin while showing rather very clean white teeth. It seems it was fun enough for Jake that he did a motion of stabbing where the hand was again.

John soon jumps to where Dave is, causing the said red-eyed cool guy to smirk a little.

"My…" Jake chuckles out. "What a scared fellow, aren't you… You're like a rabbit… a rabbit surrounded by the wolves, yes?"

"U-Um–"

"So dear Johnny ol' boy, what petty crime did you do to get you here…? You don't look like the fellow to harm a fly, let alone kill."

"Actually English," Dave answers for John smirking while John is just looking at him with big and wide eyes. "This cutie here killed his very own Vater right here."

With that answer, Jake stops giggling and smiling. He tilts his head and stares at John. "Vater…? As in… daddy…? You murdered one of your own parents…?"

John immediately and openly tenses at this. Huh, as Dave looks at him, he looks really guilty and sad about it. Huh, it looks like he isn't proud of his crimes unlike some assholes here. Though Dave is maybe being a bit hypocritical about it…

Jake then smiles at this, very crazy-looking too. "Well… that is very wonderful of you to accomplish, Johnny boy… If only I could… If only she could… if only…"

Dirk immediately puts his hand on Jake's shoulder and openly shows his concern on his face. It seems Jake is remembering his deceased niece again. It is really the only thing that's been keeping him insane.

And seriously, when will the two will ever kiss and fuck each other?

And it seems John moves away from Dave's smoking hot body while eating the food with some rather funny yet cute faces as he eats it. For his first day in prison, he is taking the food pretty well, especially since it's been made by Dave's ex-cellmate's group.

As Dave stares at the cute man next to him, Dave can't help but see how he eats the mushy food. In his days as an assassin and not a prisoner, Dave could easily recognize that he is very well-mannered, a quick assumption that he is –or rather, _was_ in a high-class life. The way he handled his utensils was elegant and gentle. He picked his food carefully rather than shoving it in his mouth, not caring how filthy he is making to himself, the floor, and the table. And he chews his food with a closed mouth and makes barely any chewing noise…

Then again, Dave can also assume John was raised to be a polite gentleman from the now deceased, and possibly pushy back when he was alive, father. It could be like Dave's and Dirk's life. Bro did teach them everything they need to know about killing and manipulation and actually showing no mercy to their victims. But then again, Bro had a thing for older. Almost all those old geezers weirdly accept except a grandpa-looking hunter and a sweet-smelling, fedora-wearing man are the only ones that actually rejected his offers.

Perhaps Dave should get to know his cellmate a bit more before getting down and dirty.

And John hasn't exactly put Dave's arm away from his now less tense shoulders~.

But unfortunately this is prison, not the real world, where it is filled with shitheads, complete and utter psychos, so Dave should curse under his breath when he senses the way too familiar egotistical bastard behind him, Eridan Ampora.

Ampora got sent here for brutal abuse on one dude and shot his supposedly ex-girlfriend. He did not know if he was successful or not on killing her but due to his revealing of having illegal weapons that he doesn't have a permit on, he had more years to spend in prison. Due to looking way too feminine for his own good (AKA looks way too fucking hipster), many attempted to make him his jail bitch. Unfortunately, none succeeded. Instead, Eridan Ampora made a few deals with a few steroid-pumped convicts that he gets his protection (AKA goons) with either promised sex or drugs.

"W-Well, look w-what w-we got here." Eridan smirks with his fuck ugly violet eyes that are glaring at John. "Fresh meat."

Dave can't help but tighten his hold on the cowering cutie and glare at Ampora. Eridan had always wanted to dominate anything or anyone as much as he possibly could. And Dave, spending quite some time in this shithole, knows what Ampora is thinking. He wants to take away what's Dave's.

Luckily, Dirk gets Ampora to fuck off. "Ampora, I'll warn you today to get the fuck away from us or else I'll let Jake stab you with his fork again."

Jake giggles, having his psycho green eyes on the now very uncomfortable as fuck Ampora while holding his fork up somehow menacingly. English did make a name for himself for surprisingly beating up prisoners with no mercy or second thought, scaring any therapist who believed they had the guts and brain to figure him out without shitting themselves or beat up as pulpy shit, and even causing a guard to shoot himself. Dave doesn't know how English caused the guy to shot himself but with some real therapy and very likely professional manipulation, Jake could be an excellent partner and assassin to the Striders.

But before Ampora could flee, guards came. Shit, they're definitely here because of the very good-looking Striders. Ampora ends up smirking as he walks away, staring at John and the angered Dave.

Fucker, the cute John Egbert is Dave's, no one else.

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><p><strong>And thus Dave meets his new cellmate and instantly wants John's fine ass. <strong>

**Next… Jake's POV, though this is going to be hard to do… I'll find Jake's words later first but I have to do the chapter first... So not much of Jake's really silly willy dialect will show up. **

**Thank you for reading and please review! Bye! **


	3. Con III: Therapy

**There was an anonymous reviewer called Mistress that said she was German and points out that I indeed know nothing about German. I do not mean to offend but since I barely know any words in German, I have to use the most unreliable translator, Google Translate. :(**

**So please don't be offended about the German words being misspelled or wrongly used. And thank you Mistress for telling me about this. **

**P.S., your quirk is pretty cool and cute! It reminds me of a snake! I think snakes are pretty cool!**

**P.P.S., the split tongue actually sounds like something pretty cool (yet bothersome) to have. Hopefully, it doesn't bother you so much. **

**Well, here's Jake.**

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><p><em><strong>Con III<strong>_

_**Therapy**_

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><p>Jake English couldn't help but giggle as lunch is finally over and it was time for his "therapy". There's a new therapist for him and most likely just like the others, doesn't understand.<p>

He had seen those pesky guards grab the new guy up and away before lunch was really over. Jake knew what that meant. He's going to therapy too. But Jake doesn't get it for the new guy has successfully killed an unwanted parent. That's good, not bad.

But after lunch was over and Dirk gives his now usual pat on the shoulder and nod, Jake goes to where the therapy rooms are. All the rooms are dusty and dirty white. All need red on them. But that's how he is examined before he enters the room, no fork or knife to use against the therapist. The guard knows where he can't pat and touch since the first few times that he did, Jake had literally beat sense on him.

But it was –no, is a deep surprise that John is here with him. The new therapist is already sitting proudly, showing his stern, emotionless face on Jake.

"Welcome English, I am Doctor Rudent, I shall be your therapist and temporarily for Egbert. Hurry and please sit down."

And just like that, Jake doesn't like him. Jake has to get rid of him…

But Jake has to sit down the uncomfortable, wooden chair… he did say please…

"Very good, we are off to a good start." No, they were not. Jake knows. "And you can just sit and wait there, English. I'll be working on Egbert."

"W-What?!" the new guy squeaks.

"Yes, it seems your crime is more major and intriguing to learn as you committed patricide." Rudent nods and has his stupid, perverted eyes on John. "For a man of your status, you don't seem to have depression, stress, or anger to be an excuse of your crime. But then again, that isn't true."

Jake can't help but growl. He knows those similar words, saying that the death of his beloved niece shouldn't have cause his "instability". He had nearly killed one of them as he actually asked if he did anything sexual with Jade! Jade is too innocent and precious… Jade is family… Jake loves Jade like a daughter and the bastard who murdered her got away…!

"So then tell me, Egbert." The rat Rudent begins speaking again. "What was your relationship with your father?"

John blinks, looking with wide eyes at the question.

If Jake thinks about the action, it reminds him of Jade when she was either curious or confused of something. She would stare at him with such innocence, always want his explanation and answer for her curious question…

"What do you mean by relationship?"

Rudent adjusts his glasses. "Has he done anything to harm you? Perhaps… taking advantage of you?"

John immediately is shocked. "W-What?! N-No!"

Rudent raises his eyebrow. He does not believe him, that rat. Prideful men think alike like that horrible monster that killed _her_… They think they can get away with everything but no… There will be someone that gives them what they deserve…

And Jake will finish the job… Oh, he'll finish the job… Oh, he'll finish it alright…

"It is fine, Egbert. I won't judge you." He will. "You must have suffered quite some time have you?"

"N-No really, I really haven't–"

"Hush now, you don't need to make excuses."

John looks really uncomfortable… like the time when Jade being in her first play, playing as the trusty dog… If only John had green eyes and longer hair…

"Did you perhaps…" The rat raises his eyebrow. "Did you love your father _that_ much?"

John looks so shocked, so appalled, so… innocent…

"WHAT! No!" John yells out, truly looking horrified and surprised that someone would think that. Six years in here or so, Jake knows that there are. But Jade –I mean, John shouldn't know about them now.

"John, denying of what went around is a step to insanity. Your father has indeed took advantage of your sexually and that is not right."

"You, I know what you're saying but–"

"No you don't, you don't see what I am thinking _and_ what reality is. You are still in denial of killing one of your parents due to your poor mental illness. It may be even your closeness to your father that you are in shock as well. Has your father been too close to anyone else that caused you this way? Friends? Relatives? Lover? You can tell me anything, _John_. I won't judge."

John sighs and looks at the rat.

"_Look_, I know it's not right for…" He blushes and pales at the same time. Such talent… "_That_… I didn't have sex with my dad nor did he took advantage of me, okay. You got it all wrong! I didn't kill him! This is a mistake!"

Mr. Rudent's eyes seem to gleam in evil as they glare at sweet Jade –I mean, John.

Jake couldn't help but glare at the rat man. This new therapist won't last long and he is pushing those fragile limits. He is bullying such an innocent child. This child is like Jade… yes… Jade…

"A mistake?" The rat growls. "Must I remind you, Egbert, that you are in prison and that the judgment had _never_ been wrong."

"I was framed!"

"I believe I heard that in almost every prison movie." The rat hisses. "Stop being in this state of denial–"

"I'm not in denial!"

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME!"

Oh, the rat is going to get it…

No one messes with Jade… No one will make her cry again…

"_Mister_ Rudent…" Jake speaks, immediately having the rat's attention. "Do you have any… _daughters_…?"

The rat wrinkles his nose. "Why yes, I have one actually."

Jake giggles.

"Well then, old sport, that sounds jolly good… Yes… jolly good…" He giggles again. "Where is she now though, hm~?"

Not here, that's for sure." The rat responds.

"Oh~? But she is somewhere, yes? Is she with you? Or is she far away from you?" Jake asks, feeling the rush once again. "Come now, old bean, we're all quite pals, _yes_?"

"Of course," the rat answers, easily taking the bait. "My daughter is actually with… the mother…"

Jake could hear it, he could feel it! Oh yes, it is so fortunate with that tidbit of information. Everything will go _bloody_ well~. Yes, very well indeed…

"The mother?" Jake begins, feeling the scarlet blood flowing through her. "Well old sport, it sounds like that precious daughter of yours doesn't like you. And that mother… doesn't love at all…"

"We had a divorce."

"Well! That's surprising, old sport!" It's not. "To think she would break off to a man like you… So surprising indeed…"

The rat is far too old and too young in the head to see what's going on… He's not used to treating convicts, Jake can tell…

Jake will ruin him for what he did with darling Jade…

"But to think… you're all alone and unloved…"

The rat takes the trap…

"W-What do you exactly mean, English?!"

"Oh, what I am saying, old sport, is that you're here because you have no one. With no one around and no business, you went desperate and went here… You wanted to go here… You wanted to see and hear others' misery to fill your void pleasure…"

"Now that's just–"

"Wait, I'm not quite finished yet, old sport…" Jake giggles. "Don't be in such denial, Mister Rudent."

Jake looks at… _John_. He is such an innocent child… Jake will protect her…

Jake looks back at the rat. The rat is absolutely livid and trapped. It is like a few of those head weak therapists he had at first except with a rat. They were always so blind seeing the injustice delivered in this world and to him and to his darling, precious, sweet, and innocent little Jade…

"You know you were miserable, just plain miserable, just plain miserable… That love of yours is no longer, probably said that she got sick of you… if not, had always thought of it, imagined it…"

"Now, look here–"

"And that daughter of yours…" This time, Jake chuckles. "You loved her, didn't you? You must have loved her more than your own wife."

"Listen here, I did no act of incest towards my daughter and–"

"But that daughter of yours… she _hated_ you."

He did not deny… No, the rat didn't deny at all…

He stared at Jake with _such_ lividness…

"That daughter… she was your world… your life… your hope…" Jake chuckles again. "You loved her and spiked her… Yes… you downright spoiled her, didn't you…?"

Jake remembers how he cared for Jade. He really did spoil her but she deserved it… oh yes, she deserved every hug, kiss, and any and every display of affection for how perfect she is… or rather, was…

The bastard will get it –yes, he will indeed…

Jake blinks. And he smiles even bigger as he still sees the livid little rat. The rat had it coming of course. He had messed –no, tried to destroy such valuable and precious innocence. Living here for six wasteful years, in this waste of wicked corruptors, Jake must protect all he innocence that is in here.

No innocence shall be wasted. No more corruption will reign here. No innocence shall be destroyed and corrupted…

"But she left… didn't she, old sport… She left you to study with that mother of hers, always looking for another father…" Jake then cackles. "That is what she said after I fucked her."

It's a lie. Jake had always been a gentleman, always polite and respectful to every woman, young and old. He is actually quite a feminist, too. And he is always honest, just never to therapists as they always speak lies and nothing else. If they can't speak any truth, then they don't deserve any truth from him. And the lie made such satisfactory results…

"You bastard!"

The rat actually ties to attack Jake! Ha! What a laugh!

Easily, Jake stands up and put his hands –huh, they have blood on them, how about that… –around the rat's long and scrawny neck. Jake easily has the upper hand. It's just so easy!

Since the rat is so scrawny and weak, Jake could easily hold him with one hand with the other hand getting ready to strike. The rat tries to claw his way off from Jake's hand and tries to choke out a disgusting cry for help. But Jake has a strong grip, he always does. He had a strong grip ever since he had his hands on that bastard who took Jade away. And like the rest, he will have his punishment.

Easily and quickly, Jake right-hooks the rat.

Such a satisfying crunch…

Of course, Jake takes a few seconds to ready for another and see his wonderful handy work. Yes, the rat is actually struggling with one punch~. And his nose is bleeding~!

The sight –yes, the sight is so wonderful, so addicting!

Jake punches him again. And there's another crunch…!

And again…

And again…

And again…!

And again…!

And again!

AND AGAIN!

Jake can't help it, can't stop it! This is like the others! Weak! Evil! Mean! Selfish! Everything that Jake hates and despise! All should be punished! All should be slaughtered! Especially him! Especially that bastard who killed her…

Jake didn't care about the blood smearing on his hands as he cuffs the rat's face into a pulp. His own blood is painting his own face as Jake keeps punching. The scarlet glowing and shining as it spews all over, choking the rat as he tries and tries again to cry for mercy and help.

Jake pauses. He has to see his wonderful work of what he has done to this rat…

It is perfect.

Positively perfect, indeed…

The blood of the rat is all over his mangy face with a few fang-teeth off those disease-ridden gums of his. One eye is completely swollen, all red and blue and purple, while the other is barely looking at him in such a beady way. His long nose is smashed to a short bloody pulp, most likely not doing what it functions as the rat chokes and inhales as much air as he can through his mouth.

Oh yes, it is perfect…

But first…

Jake puts his hand, the one that was holding the rat by its throat, on the rat's rather blood splattered shoulder. Jake grins as he gets closer and closer to the rat's face…

"Now, listen here, old sport," Jake begins, already loving it. "You apologize to darling…John for your bullying misbehavior. No one should be bullied like that or bullied at all, right, old sport?"

Yes, no one should be bullied with anyone or anything. Humanity is inhumanity. Humans will take and steal anything precious and valuable, even if it's one's own beautiful and innocent niece. Jade never deserved death. Jade never desired those ungrateful shits that call themselves parents. Jade never deserved all the things that made her cry, yet he took her away from Jake!

And that's why he had to… had to kill… had to punish… had to finish his job…

Dirk is honest and wonderful when he offered such generous help…

Yes, with Dirk's help, Jake will get the bastard… and finish the work…

"_Well_? Aren't you going to apologize, old sport? I don't' hear an apology from you."

The rat actually tries to cough on him, splattering such unneeded blood on him. There's no words, no apology from the rat…

Such an unforgiving dirty fellow…

But before Jake could deliver another punch… something holds him by the waist and sobs a stop…

…Jade…?

Jake lets go of the punished rat and tries to turn to see who it is that's… hugging him…

…It's… John…

Jake doesn't want to punch him, or punish him at all. He didn't first know why he doesn't want to punish someone who is stopping his thrilling justice but… now, he does.

John is innocent.

Sure, John had killed his own father but… it doesn't look like did it out of fun and the father most likely deserved it. John did something that Jade had not had… justice.

Jade was left by the two people who are supposed to be her parents, the people who supposed to love and care for her. Jade was too young to have people who didn't love her, especially those supposed parents. She had sobbed and cried on her first birthday with Jake, thanking him to actually be here to celebrate her birthday as if she's actually special. Jake had hugged her tight and told her that of course she was special.

She was his little jewel, his little Jade…

Jake sees those eyes, those innocent and valuable eyes, from John. Those precious orbs of blue are looking at him, pleading him to stop. And Jake did so. He doesn't want another innocent to cry…

John lets go as he sees with those pure eyes of his that Jake indeed stops.

"T-Thank you…" John mumbles, strangely looking away for some reason.

But Jake giggles anyway.

"It's alright, mate… I won't let you go…"

Jake affectionately pats John's cheek, really not caring about the hand being smeared with blood.

Aw~… it looks like the sight of blood makes John goes sleepy…

…Sleep well with sweet dreams… John…

* * *

><p><strong>And thus, here is my first attempt on psycho Jake…<strong>

**Well, John is unconscious, Jake likes John in a creepy yet _very_ platonic way due to reminding him of his late and precious niece, and the new therapist is most likely going to a hospital. Yay...**

**I really should research more about Jake so he doesn't seem so OOC in later chapters…**

**And then there's Dirk that's coming up... Great...**

**Well, thanks for reading and please review. Bye-bye! **


	4. Con IV: Daily Exploring

**I tried to find free Internet Workbook but… it's rather… this: :/ **

**So Mistress, hopefully it isn't such a bother to help me with the German words. It really is nice "talking" to you and I do love to read your reviews. :D **

**And now… it's Dirk's turn! **

**Dirk is indeed seen as more mature than Dave but he is indeed a smoker. And in Convictstuck OOC answers did hint a little that Dirk is both a charmer and seems a bit… introverted about doing much hinted… quixotic acts. :3 **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con IV<strong>_

_**Daily "Exploring"**_

* * *

><p>Dirk sighs in relief as therapy time is over.<p>

It really is a wasteful time to actually think and believe that someone could actually "cure" him.

He needs a cigarette. He needs to find that brother of his and get a stick or two. Unfortunately for Dirk, he can't get his own cigarettes due to certain… _events_.

But Dirk knows that he can't go immediately to Dave as it will cause suspicions and Dave seems to be pretty focused and busy with that new cellmate of his. Sure, the guy looks cute, has quite a nice ass, and is actually polite and shit but he'll definitely be a liability with escaping.

Perhaps Dirk has to wait a little for Dave to fuck him senseless and be bored of his cellmate.

"Dirk! Is that you…?" Well, speaking of cellmates…

"Sup, Jake." Dirk greets. Jake is another story, he is full-in-full an asset to the escape and part of the Strider assassination gang. Plus, even if it's in a weird kind of way, Jake's cute.

However, Dirk frowns as he smells the very familiar scent of blood. There's the smell and then there's the obvious visual that Jake has blood on his hands. Hopefully he just beat the shit of the supposedly "new" therapist he has or had. Jake really shouldn't harm himself…

"Jake, didn't I tell you that you shouldn't bite your fingers off during shitty therapy time."

"Language, Dirk…" Jake giggles. "And do not worry, silly. I was protecting her from the rat…"

"Her?"

"Jade…" Jake immediately answers but then looks up and chuckles. "And John…"

Okay, ironically, Dirk is now suspicious of Jake. Dirk never was suspicious about Jake, even though he isn't in a stable of mind.

"John? You mean the dude who killed his father and is Dave's cellmate?"

Jake giggles and nods.

"He's innocent…"

"Innocent?"

"He's pure."

Jake just giggles again. Dirk had learned a few things about Jake, one is that he doesn't want to get laid and that those that Jake calls "pure" in Jake's good side. Observation is always needed with almost anything. Bro, AKA their actual guardian and trainer, had told him and Dave this. It helps.

"So… are you going to see your little brother, Dirk…?"

"Not really. He's most likely fu–hanging out with that new cellmate of his."

Dirk has to make sure he doesn't say anything that will make Jake go all berserk on his twin brother. Dave may be an annoying dummkopf but Dave is indeed his twin brother and partner in crime. And Dave is an asset to the whole escape plan.

"Well old bean, that's quite kind of that brother of yours…" Jake cutely giggles. "I hope they have a ripsnorting time!"

Dirk can't help but snort. That "ripsnorting time" is most likely Dave fucking that nice ass of his. But then again, Dave has more class and won't exactly rape him.

"But then again, John is all tuckered up since he got the rat's blood on that cheek of his…"

"Tuckered up?"

"Yes, he went out quick like Christ on grilled cheese…" Jake cutely giggles again. "He's in the infirmary to take a good ol' nap."

Dirk really hopes that the cellmate is okay since Dave may be a dick but being brother and partner and shit like that, Dirk has to be concerned of his rather bare sex and/or love life, especially it had been some time since he last been interested with someone. Dave usually becomes way too possessive with the person that he lust for and always ends the relationship harshly so he wouldn't get too attached or because he had to leave for a mission he can't refuse.

"So Jake, got anything you want to do? I have time after my daily exploring."

Jake smiles, almost patting Dirk with a bloodied hand. But since Dirk doesn't want unneeded therapist blood on him, he does a quick step back. Dirk may think Jake is cute but there are some things, like unnecessary blood on him, he can't do to Dirk.

"Why, I just believe I do need a nap, too… Yes… A nap seems necessary for this old melon of mine… I'll be on the top as always, of course…"

Dirk nods. He knows that Jake has always slept or the top bunk and gotten almost sucker punched when he tried to help Jake with a very bad nightmare. And naps do make Jake more… stable.

"Make sure you wash your hands, mein Freund."

Jake smiles and nods. The smile rather looks a bit saner than the rest of his cute smile.

"I will, you silly nilly willy."

Okay, Dirk can't help but let out just a small chuckle at that. Jake seems to always lighten Dirk's mood with weird words he say.

"Well then, I'll see you again in the cell…" Jake frowns and seems to struggle at something. But before Dirk could possibly help or anything, Jake smiles again and does a wet snap with his bloody fingers. "Freund! Yes… that's it… I'll see you again, freund…"

Dirk waves and maybe even smiles at his cellmate.

Again, in a weird way, Jake is indeed cute.

* * *

><p>"Look Thrider, the thythtem ith harder than it lookth. I'll thay it again, I got lucky, being outthide of prithon and thit, to be athigned ath a guard than join you guyth."<p>

Sollux is a lanky Asian who was supposed to be a prisoner like the rest since he is a master hacker who tried to sell drugs and steal plenty of money under the "name of the government". Dirk and Dave know him a bit personally.

Dirk killed the man who fucked up his older brother, Mituna. Dave had a "two"-night stand with him.

He's just a dichromatic bipolar guy they are acquaintance of.

"Is there any way you could hack the system in the control system?"

Sollux gives a rather sour look. "Eathier thaid than done."

Dirk nods, he understands that with a high security prison, it has to actually how high security. There were barely any blind spots except the typical corners that are most likely used to have the raping and the fucking. There are too many guards that are somehow committed to their work. There are security cameras that are almost well-positioned through and through. There are too many wires, secured entrances, secured exits, and fuck load of locks and annoying convicts who will mess everything the fuck up.

In summary, there are too many things that will stop their great escape from being a success.

"Tho, how'th Dave? Did he finally get a new cellmate? And a good one?"

Dirk can't help but smirk. "Yeah, he got a new one."

"And?"

"That dummkopf is already lusting over that arsch."

Sollux smirks back. "Finally, he'th taking interetht. The prick needth to get laid more often. Then again…"

"Halt den Mund."

Sollux raises an eyebrow in amusement. His dichromatic eyes are boring on the rather flustered Dirk. So what if Dirk hasn't had sex since he got in this shithole. Pretty much all the convicts here are unattractive and are unworthy for the body of a damn fine Strider.

Bro taught them that only worthy men and/or women will have a Strider's dick and/or ass. Even though Bro had a weird ass fetish for older men…

"Thtill going for the–"

"Yes, now shut the hell up."

"You do know that Englith doethn't want any thex ever thince the previouth thellmate and altho, he keepth thinking about that late niethe of hith."

"He's cute."

"Yeah, yeah, you told me. He'th cute in a weird kind of way, I know."

"So hurry up and hack, you still owe us."

Sollux's face then sours. Sure, he paid fully to murder the fucker but Sollux actually tried to rob money from the Striders to pay medical bills for Mituna and a new and another computer for him. Thus fully explaining why Sollux had a "two"-night stand with Dave… which equals Sollux owing a fuck ton of money to the Striders, more than twice what the mission was.

"Fuck you, Thtrider."

"Sorry but my ass is reserved for non-bipolar douchebags."

Sollux flips Dirk off and walks away, grumbling curses.

Arschloch…

* * *

><p>"W-What do w-want, Strider?"<p>

Dirk seriously doesn't want to talk to Eridan but in one way or another, he somehow has valuable information for some reason. He is also one of the easiest people to manipulate.

"You know what I want, Ampora."

"Look, Strider, I don't know-w w-what you're talkin' about. And cod off, I havve business to take care of."

"And you have information that I want, Ampora."

Eridan takes a step back, easily revealing that he indeed has information. So, Dirk glares down and takes a commanding step toward the fishy bastard. Bro taught him to be intimidating naturally and how to use it well.

And just like always, it's a hook, line, and sinker. Or whatever the fuck means that Dirk got his victim right where he wants him…

"_Well? _I'm already losing patience, _Ampora_. Do you want English to know what you said about his darling niece?"

"You w-wouldn't dare!"

"I am and I will, as it said and goes. Now, _Ampora_… tell the _information_."

Eridan makes a barely audible gulp. English had beaten up one of his best goon and almost killed the goon and go after Ampora. English somehow got a plastic knife, a surprisingly sharp one, and jabs it near to the goon's throat. It took a few or some guards to hold him down, even with Tasers.

Of course, Dirk stayed with Jake in the infirmary after that incident. Dirk nodded at every positive comment that Jake made about "defending" Dirk. And Dirk patted his back and tried his best to sooth Jake at every negative comment of how he failed to end someone once again.

Jake ended up sleeping and drooling on his shoulder…

"Alright, alright! I don't w-want that psycho anyw-where near me!"

"_Speak_."

"Of course, of course, I get it!" Eridan speaks with his hands up in surrender. "It's just some facts about the fresh fish, that's all."

"Like?"

"W-Well, he's supposed to be some heir of some bakery company. From w-what I heard, he had plenty of money."

"And?"

"No records of other crimes…"

"And?"

"He's an Aries! Second degree of murder! W-What the hell do you w-want to know-w!"

Dirk stares down at Eridan, who's actually trying to put up a "strong" front. From what he heard, ever since a chainsaw incident that nearly got Eridan killed, Ampora is now only half the confident asshole he was.

It looks like that's all Eridan knows… for now…

So, Dirk immediately walks away from Ampora who's most likely confused as fuck.

Why?

Because Dirk is a Strider and Bro taught confusion fuels fear and looks completely badass doing so.

Well, there's that as well as Dirk just can.

* * *

><p>"For fuck's sake bro, stop ogling at the guy! He looks like some guy in a coma that we once killed."<p>

"Hey, you get your ogle with that psycho of yours; I'm going to get my ogle with this cutie. You have your and now I have mine, bro."

Dirk groans, actually putting a hand on his face. Dave just has to stare at his cellmate who's pretty much unconscious, like some precious and valuable gem or whatever that's ironic. Dirk really hopes Dave just fucks the new cellmate and be bored with him already…

"And seriously, dude looks like he's sleeping and that's fine. I know you do the same with the psycho. And hey, at least John doesn't drool like some pit-bull and looks quite cute as he is right now unlike Jake. Seriously, Jake looks like he'll strangle anyone that goes near him."

"That's because he does."

"Know that from experience?" Dave smirks.

Dirk immediately smacks Dave behind the head. He knows what Dave is going on. Dave actually believes that Dirk will actually fuck Jake. There are two problems.

Erstens, Jake is obviously not a sane person and who still affected about his niece's death.

Und Zweitens, there's no way in hell that Jake will let Dirk fuck him and Dirk just likes him as a cute partner in crime. That is all.

"So, do you have my zigaretten?"

Dave immediately pulls out a box of cigarettes, the good ones it seems.

"Lighter?"

Dave shrugs his shoulders. He's still staring at John.

"Arschloch."

Dave seriously needs to get laid. Dave had been laughing like an excited mad man with their failed escape. Then again, they should have been more patience by staying there more than just a week. Since really, they actually got caught with one of their missions. Murderers are suspicious and of course they would go high about when the Striders drove off on that car…

And Dirk seriously needs a new lighter… the one he has now barely makes a light.

"Mm…" Huh, it looks like Johnny boy is waking up. Of course, due to his over the damn line of lust, Dave just leans way too near to his cellmate. It almost looks like a weird ass yet ironic cliché fairy tale, where the "prince" leaning down to kiss a dumb sleeping princess. "W-What happen…?"

John blinks a little and rubs his eyes a little. Dirk has got to admit… John is indeed cute, especially cute enough to fuck in the ass.

But when Dirk would actually fuck the blue-eyed cutie is when he wants Dave on his bad side and have his own penis sliced in half… perpendicularly…

Striders don't steal what the other Strider wants, especially with so-called "lovers".

"I had the weirdest dream that I'm actually in prison… and I have a scary cellmate and–"

In a quick snap, it seems John is staring wide-eyed as if completely caught in the act and is horrified as he stares at Dave's eyes. He actually reacts funny. John seems to be silently screaming and hyperventilating as he quickly tries to crawl away from Dave.

Then, John falls off of the bed. And with a small yet audible bam, John is knocked out by the floor…

But what John had said… Dirk chuckles.

"So, you're a scary cellmate to him, huh?" Dirk smirks.

"Shut up."

"And pretty much ran away from you." Dirk then chuckles. "Or rather, _crawl_."

"Get the fuck away, bro."

"Pretty sure he isn't interested in you anytime soon."

"Verpiss dich."

"Sure thing… _scary_ cellmate."

Dirk exit after dodging a rather sharp item thrown by Dave, chuckling all the way and actually forgetting about being in a bad mood and having a lighter with barely any light.

* * *

><p>Of course, that happy mood didn't last long since Dirk is back in his cell and has plenty of cigarettes but no light. This is horrible irony…<p>

Jake is on his top bunk and giggling about something.

Dirk tries once again to get a light but like the others, it's just a click. There's nothing but a click and a flush from this shitty lighter. No fuel to actually light a fire, Dirk is stuck in his cell with an unused cigarette in his mouth. Dirk is going to get Dave for this…

Sure, Dirk can perform patience and charm like a badass professional but those are only for jobs. There is no way in all irony that Dirk could have patience through and through. It's like not being pissed off by Dave's so-called "irony" which is shitty English rap (thank fuck he doesn't rap in German) and then there' that shitty webcomic that Dave used when he had little knowledge of English.

"Dirk…" Well fuck, Jake is looking at him and is chuckling. Dirk likes Jake but there are those fits that can be rather scary at times. "Where's that little light of yours…?"

Dirk looks at Jake's emerald eyes, unstable and wide, as they bore on his. Jake giggles and actually pokes at Dirk's cheek. Luckily, Jake's finger is clean and had no gashes yet. And Jake giggles again as well as pokes his cheek.

Sure, Dirk is semi-glad inside that Jake isn't having a fit but…

"Jake, what the hell are you doing?"

"Language, Dirk… Language…"

"Okay, what are you doing?"

Jake cutely giggles. His upside-down head disappears to the bank before he fully gets down, smiling sort of sane-like. Of course, Dirk immediately sits up just in case if Jake wants to do something called "fisticuffs", something saner and better than a fit. But Jake just giggles cutely and suspiciously hiding both his hands behind his back as if he was some ironic mischievous kid up to no good.

"I want you to close your eyes…"

Dirk raises an eyebrow at the smiling green-eyed convict. Sure, Dirk does trust him in some way but…

"You're not going to do anything bad at me, are you?"

Jake giggles and shakes his head.

"Of course not, old chap… This… this is a good surprise… I promise… Cross my bloody heart and hope to die with a needle on that scoundrel's eye…"

Dirk chuckles a little on the inside at the last part. In a way, it's ironically funny.

Dirk sighs and actually closes his eyes. His assassin training and experience will help him so he shouldn't feel uneasy. And Jake never did lie to him.

He then hears a familiar click… and feels a familiar burning sound.

"You can open your peepers now…"

Dirk does open his eyes and the cigarette that he has on his mouth… it's lit… Dirk looks at the still smiling Jake who has what seems to be a new lighter…

"The rat had it in those dirty pockets of his… You were also clicking a lot lately…"

Dirk can't help but let a smile of appreciation as he takes a deep inhale and enjoys the warm cloud in his lungs. It's… quite nice really. Jake had those moments where he isn't that unstable sadistic person but… rather caring, kind of like his cuteness, in a weird kind of way.

So what if Dirk has this weird hybrid of admiration and crush on Jake, it's not going to be some bother or weakness on him.

Dirk ironically has a thing or two for weirdness.

"Oh Dirk…" Jake then coos out of nowhere. He actually gently grabs Dirk's chin and swipes the still burning cigarette out of his mouth. Jake cutely giggles. "Shh…"

Dirk can't help but freeze. It's not because he sees bad effects from Jake's fits. Nope, Jake is getting closer to his face… _really_ getting close to him… It's not deadly but it's dangerous…

Dirk can feel the warm breath of Jake, the barely brushing lips on his. Shit, Dirk hasn't felt this edgy since his first killing mission as Jake chuckles and stares at him with those green eyes. He then feels the strong pink muscle actually licking his lower lip. Dirk tries to open his mouth yet the hand on his chin is firmly gripping it, keeping the mouth closed and shut.

Then Jake does a weird open-mouth kiss over Dirk's lips.

Dirk closes his eyes as he feels the licking of Jake's rough tongue as well as the hard sucking, most likely going to cause his damn lips to become plump and hot red. This isn't even a proper kiss yet it's very satisfactory to Dirk. The hand is still gripping his chin, causing Dirk to not move and Jake in control, sucking harsh and licking sensationally…

Suddenly, Jake stops.

His lips and tongue moves away from Dirk's lips and Jake smiles.

"There…" Jake coos. "Your lips aren't dry anymore, old chap…"

Jake puts the still burning cigarette back to Dirk's mouth and the lighter on Dirk's lap. He chuckles and goes back to his top bunk as if nothing happened…

Bro had taught both Dave and Dirk not to fall in love…

Then again, Bro was a shitty teacher…

* * *

><p><strong>And we have now introduced the four main characters!<strong>

**I'm beginning to actually have fun with the characters, not really worry much about any of them being OOC. They are quite unique in their very own way!**

**John is a bit of scaredy-cat but is kind and generous and has a fine ass while somehow being oblivious to obvious things.**

**Dave is a "smooth cool guy" who can battle his own fights and wants that Egbert ass.**

**Dirk is the supposed perfect assassin on a mission to escape but with one weakness, Jake. **

**And Jake is a complete psycho with a nice ass. :) **

**But before they can even escape, they'll have to face the prison life, especially John. :D **

**And thanks for reading, please review and bye-bye! **


	5. Pro I: Meet Jade

**I thank everyone for reviewing, favoriting, and following this fanfiction! It makes me so happy that many of you like this! **

**And Mistress, don't worry. Homestuck doesn't simply die, it goes god tier. :) **

**And if you want to, you can give your fanfiction name though I do love to read your unique reviews. :) **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro I: Meet Jade<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Christ on a bagel, Jake is by far nervy to meet his niece! <em>

_He actually didn't hear about this mystery niece since he got the call from a rather bummered up lady about that brother of his went somewhere in the unknown while leaving his child at a crummy ghetto. She told him that he should pick her up and take care of the neglected child or have the adoption center take care of her. And Jake couldn't let the child go out in such a foreign and frightening territory…_

_In a way, he can be a father figure, an actual good one! _

_Jake promised himself that he won't neglect her like others and be an inspiring and caring figure like sweet, dear, and late Grandma…_

"_Mr. Harley? Is there a Mister Harley here?" _

"_A-Actually it's English. Harley is my brother's and mother's–"_

"_Don't care, just follow me."_

_Jake raises an eyebrow in question at the cranky yet young man. Wonder what's his problem…_

_He follows him though, nerves are all high and in defense. Oh boy, wonder what his niece looks like? Is she nice? Is she shy? Will she like him as her new guardian? _

_Jake hopes she at least likes him…_

_That niece needs a loving figure and it will be more than a challenging adventure if she doesn't like him… Hope she likes guns…_

"_Here is the room, Mr. Harley." _

"_Um, it's–"_

"_Hurry up, she's waiting."_

_Jake can't help but sigh. It's quite understandable that the man is a lonely and single man who would have given no warning of loneliness and pain. And Jake should give up that the man wouldn't even bother to remember his last name and actually use his needed effort for that niece of his…_

_Jake opens the door and sees her…_

"_Jade, meet your new guardian. I hope you two get along well. I'll be off at the office to help others." _

_He hears the door close with a loud click and sees Jade's green eyes staring at him behind big circle glasses. She had crazy long hair that doesn't seem to have been washed or brushed for weeks. She had a white shirt with an interesting contraption on it, like an atom or some sort like that. She had what seems to be the traditional overbite that his family seems to have with it formed in a thin line._

"_Who are you?" She asks. _

_Jake smiles reassuringly. "Why, I am your uncle, Jade." _

_She shrinks a little and begins to draw something. Jake can't help but feel the rather tenseness in the room. Jade doesn't say anything and draws while Jake stands there…_

"_Um… are you really going to take care of me…?" She asks. "Is there… rules I should follow…?"_

"_Rules?" _

_"Daddy and mommy had rules of their own. All the adults have rules I heard…" _

"_Well… I don't have rules just yet actually!" _

_With wide eyes, Jade looks at Jake. She stops drawing and stares at the nervously laughing Jake. _

"_You have no rules? Even the rule where I can't eat until my chores are done? All of the adults have that rule, right?" _

"_A rule where you can't –why, that's completely bonkers! Why would I make a rule like that?!"_

"_Well…" Jade then looks away. And then she scribbles a little here and there._

"_Look Jade," Jake comforts, taking a careful step forward to his niece. "I will take care of you properly… with love… and kindness… And I will never neglect you…" _

"_Neglect…? You mean… you want me to be with you…?" _

"_Of course."_

"_But why?" _

_Jake chuckles and is near enough to Jade to crouch down and look straight at Jade's pure green eyes. She looks –no, is innocent. No innocent should be wasted and be corrupted, especially Jade… Jake will make her happy and loved…_

_Yes… he will…_

"_Because Jade, you are my pride and joy, my sweet little niece, and I fully and truly love you…" And it's all in the heart, too. Jake smiles at his rather shocked niece with eyes so pure and… happy…_

_And –oh bollocks, she's crying! This is bad! This is flipping fucking sake's bad! _

"_T- …Thank you…"_

"…_What…?" _

"_Thank you… thank you so much… I'm… I'm so happy!" _

_Jake can't help but tilt his head while Jade seems to quietly sob. _

"_Don't mean to be rude and all… but may I ask why you are so happy?" _

_Then Jade finally smiled at him. Her buckteeth made her smile shine bright and white as if given a gift so wonderful and so generous. Jade really did look cute and beautiful to Jake, as if Jade was his child rather than his niece. Jade didn't deserve such abandonment or rules only to have no precious childhood memories. She deserves only a proper and ripsnorting childhood. _

"_Y-You… actually love me…"_

_Jake can't help but struggle a little as he tries to take steps closer while still in his crouching position. He still wanted to be eye level with Jade but with this type of boots, it's rather a twisting and turning puzzle that Jake has to struggle with the old noggin of his._

_It seems Jade gets it as an adorable giggle goes out of her and she actually skips to where Jake is. She is also holding the paper that she's been drawing on. And before Jake could open his mouth and ask the obvious, Jade holds her darling picture out for Jake's eyes to see. Jake blinks and smiles. _

_It was a picture of her… and a big white wolf. _

"_This is Becquerel! He likes glowy green sticks!"_

_The wolf was drawn with a green crayon rather than regular black and had no eyes. The drawn Jade is… a robot? Jake could only tell that it's Jade since her name is above written with the same green crayon. She's almost fully drawn in gray with two red circles as glasses or eyes while having a blue dot or squiggle in the middle. It seems like the drawn robot Jade is playing a fetch with this Becquerel wolf thing. It's rather really cute. _

"_And I have more! …If you want to…"_

_Jake can't help but sit down and actually take the picture, carefully of course. Jake smiles down on the picture, loving the innocence that is in this picture. He never did get to draw, always wondering around with no one to tell. And here this is… an expression of an adventure…_

"_Of course, Jade… I would love to." _

_Jade jumps and squeals in happiness and excitement. She skips to her table and gets a bundle of pictures. She has a really, really, __**really**__ big smile on. Her green eyes are shining bright with happiness and hope, fully in innocence. She puts a picture in front of the picture that Jake had. It's Jade again, this time in human and in a witch suit. She puts another, Jade is an interesting dog ghost._

"_And this one is my favorite!" _

_Jake raises both eyebrows and gasps a little. This one… is quite a noggin surprise. _

_It's quite… detailed…_

_He sees the curves, smooth and light, as they create the body. The hair is smooth, lines being together to create locks of precious and well-taken hair. Her eyes are quite… cartoonish but not like those dots and circles of simplicity, it's very detailed and… rather big. The clothes are detailed of course and would have been a divine and royal dress with frills and bows and would have been sewn delicately by many professionals to become in real life. And the paper itself is well-taken care of with just a few mindless smudges. _

"_A nice guy gave it to me! He actually found me in my room after daddy left me for weeks! He made me this and sends me here! He had a weird brother and son with him!" _

_Jake can't help but chuckle, relieved that there are more people who are so kind to do something so selfless. _

"_What's so funny, Mister?" _

"_Nothing… I'm just happy…" John then looks at Jade. Yes, he will love and care for her for the rest of her pure life… "And Jade…" _

"_Yeah…?"_

"_Call me Grandpa…" _

"_Okay… But you have to pinky-promise that you would, you know, love me… I-It's a really, really, really big promise!" _

_Jake chuckles again, this time with his pinky out. "I promise." _

_And something beautiful happens. Their pinkies are locked and bonded with a little fun squeeze while smiles on both of their faces. _

_Yes…_

_This will be everlasting…_

* * *

><p>"Jade… Jade… Why did you have to go…? …Why Jade…? …Why…?"<p>

Jake can't help but giggle and sob.

He had failed. He had failed so horribly…

"Jade… I'm so sorry… I didn't protect you… I'm sorry… so sorry…"

Jake uses his pinky –yes, that darling pinky of his… -to write her precious, sweet name on the stone wall. It feels –no, it's been so long since she passed away… but Jake will keep writing her precious, sweet name over and over again if he has to so he will never forget her…

Yes… even if Jake is now in the big house… he'll be out soon… and he's going to finish the job one day…

Yes… he'll get that scoundrel for causing the innocence, Jade, to disappear…

"Jade… Please forgive me… I broke our promise…"

Jake didn't care if the others hear his sobbing laughter… Let them hear…

"Jade… I'm so sorry… please… I-I…"

And thus his sobs and laughter echoes throughout, as if he was just a mourning ghost.

For Jake had lost Jade and she's forever gone…

His innocence and sanity…

Gone… and gone forever…

* * *

><p><strong>Well, I have to explain something. <strong>

**You see, I name my chapters a bit strangely as you can tell. There are "Pros" and "Cons". **

"**Pros" are chapters having to do with what happened in the past as a memory or past event, making them "prologues". **

"**Cons" are chapters happening in the present and are always in a convict's view (AKA the main four characters), thus making them "continue" in the present. **

**Hopefully, that doesn't confuse any of you. **

**Well, thanks for reading, please review! Bye!**


	6. Con V: Intimidation

**I'm glad you guys like my first "Pro", psychos aren't born but are made. **

**And Mistress, thank you for giving your fanfiction name! Again, thank you… Jenn-Jenn! :D**

**P.S. To the reviewer named "Anton", I would like to say that it's thanks to Jenn-Jenn that my German is getting better. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con V<strong>_

_**Intimidation**_

* * *

><p>No, Dave isn't disappointed.<p>

Why the fuck would he?

No, he isn't disappointed because the cutie known as John is actually scared of him.

John should have been grateful that he had the attention of a Strider, especially one that is the most attractive. I mean, Dave even has a good decent big penis that hasn't caught an annoying ass STD when he was born with it.

Sure, it might hurt as John seems to have a nice, _tight_ ass but Dave will do more than just finding and touching~.

"Well, Egbert, you somehow fell in your sleep but everything is fine and functioning. You may go with your cellmate to your cell. You also missed recess. Good-bye."

John nods and quietly thanks the doctor/nurse… thing. Seriously, no one knows if it has a dick or a pussy.

Dave doesn't look at John, he doesn't care about him. The cutie is all on his own. Dave has no interest on a timid cute. John doesn't deserve his giant cock…

"Um… D-Dave…?" Fuck…! His voice is cute! How the fuck did he forgets that! Fuck! He wants to fuck him against a wall! "You're not mad at me… are you…?"

Dave just crosses his arms, looking away from the fine ass cutie. So what if the cutie is scared of him? It's not like he's scared that Dave's gigantic shaft might split that pucker hole~…

"Dave… Look, I'm really sorry about what I said… I didn't mean to…"

Come on Strider, you can make it. His ironic gentleman ways won't rape the blue-eyed cutie since really, raping is fucked up. He's an assassin, not some fucked up loser who can't handle an extra Y chromosome or doesn't know how to be a fucking human being. Plus, rapists scream like little bitches when Dave slices and/or rips their manhood off their pathetic body.

Yes, Dave needs to think his and the Striders' way of tormenting rapists than the cutie with those buckteeth that will feel nice when he has his mouth on his –Fick!

Okay, so what if Dave hasn't fucked for quite some time and there's an adorable and fuckable blue-eyed cutie right next to him. Dave has standards! He does the willing! He's a Strider, bitches go to him! He doesn't beg or scare bitches to get them!

"Um… I think you look… sort of handsome…?"

Okay, Dave snorts at this.

Sort of handsome? Please, he's a Strider. He's always full-on handsome.

"Oh! W-We're here! Um! I guess we'll go to, um, our beds right and–"

"Halt den Mund."

Oh Scheiße, Dave did not mean to do that. Sure, it silent the cutie but of course, his insides had to stab him with guilt. It's all because Striders can't seem to handle their sexual wanting and needing, especially a blue-eyed beauty that should be all naked with his ass wide open for Dave's one-eyed monster. Yes, Dave likes to call his Dave Junior a shit ton of things just for the irony and raps.

Dave immediately takes the top bunk since he didn't get a chance to take a ruck buddy during recess and maybe, just maybe, to "investigate" how his new cellmate sleeps. Okay, John is too much of being a minx that Dave had actually gave him a second chance with "little" Dave.

Seriously, one glance on that ass equals lust and "forgiveness" with its roundness and plushness.

Even though it's not sleeping time, John seems to make a decision to take a nap with a "hungry" Strider predator above him. He takes a big yawn, showing how wide his mouth can take. Oh yes, it's wide and deep enough~… And he rubs his eyes a little before he goes asleep.

…Okay, John is too fucking delectable, Dave must fuck him.

* * *

><p>Scheiße!<p>

Of course, Dave gets morning wood…

It's waking time and breakfast is just a few minutes or so till breakfast. Dinner was uneventful yesterday except both Striders are sexually frustrated with his bucktoothed cellmate. Though it seems Dirk got something as his lips were plumpy red and that blush on his face… Glückspilz…

John still was a bit tired yet he didn't talk to anyone. Jake only got nods and shakes from John's head while the psycho was petting and chuckling as well. Though, there are times when Jake suspiciously called John as "Jade" for some reason…

But that was about it. Dave is sexually frustrated with his new cellmate while said new cellmate while said new cellmate thinks he's scary.

And there's no way in hell Dave will do what Bro does, wear a seifuku.

"Um, good morning Dave!" Jesus fucking Christ!

Immediately, Dave tries to cover the obvious bulge in his pants by crossing his leg over it. Fuck, he didn't know John is a damn morning person! Dave tries to glare John off, really not wanting to scare him but there's no way he's going to let him see the dick just like that.

Striders have more class than showing their enormous reproductive organ to the whole world.

"Oh, you're awake… That's good!" John smiles in an awkwardly cute way. Yup, he's still scared of Dave for some reason. Seriously, the dude killed his father. "D-Do you still want to sit together…?"

Of course, Dave doesn't give an answer, not a verbal one. He's still a bit… agitated about the whole "scary cellmate" thing. He just goes down off of his bunk as swift and badass as he can, intentionally trying to ignore the cutie on the side.

"…Dave…?"

Dave just turns and looks at his cellmate of his looks upset at Dave's actions. His sky blue eyes shines with forming tears and sadness as they seem to stare right at the Strider's soul.

'_Why are you so mean, Dave?'_ those eyes seem to say, _'And why can't you get this ass?'_

Usually Dave would just show a sexy wink and smirk to get some but with John… he's definitely a challenge… and a tease. Seriously, the guy is such a seducing adorable minx than any male or female Dave had slept with. But before John could shed a tear or Dave finally saying something, the obnoxious guards came, yelling them to hurry up for breakfast.

And John immediately and quickly goes out the cell… at least John isn't just scared of Dave…

And just like lunch and dinner yesterday…

Downstairs…

Take a right…

And voila and déjà vu, here is the place that serves shitty meals.

Since it's still early and there aren't as many morning people like John, the line is short and quick. The trays are all clean so Dave doesn't really care about getting a dirty one. There's almost fully expired milk with loaves of extremely dry… stuff. Really, breakfast is easily the easiest and laziest meal to make. All the convicts need to do is get the stale milk and the loaves and "easy-to-make-by-putting-fucking-water" oatmeal.

Quick and easy, Dave got his shitty breakfast as well as John. Of course, his brother and psycho Jake are closer to the cafeteria so they are already in their seats. Dirk is back to "normal" as he has an open and smitten smile on him as he stares at the smiling Jake who is literally playing his food.

"Sup Dirk, still unrequited?" Dave smirks and sits on his usual seat while Dirk now glares at him.

"Ich werde Sie am Ende."

"Yeah, yeah, love you too."

"Why… Hello John… How are you…?" Jake coos and giggles about something. "Are you… well-rested…?"

"Oh! Um, yeah…"

"Wonderful…" Jake giggles again and actually pets John's hair… "A child should always have the proper sleepy time… It brings a bright and awakening future…"

Of course, there's Jake. He's more than just fucked up scary as he literally stabbed more than just prisoners and has had more than just his blood on his face and hands. Jake somehow easily manipulated prison employees from any death sentence and has battled Dave's ex-cellmate, the ICP wannabe Makara, with a few bruises and scratches compared to others.

And it was Jake's fault that John fainted on his first day… and said those words…

"So, _scary cellmate_," Oh Fuck no! Dirk did not have to bring that shit up! Of course, Dave immediately glares at the now smirking Dirk. "How's John?"

"John…? Why, isn't he here with us, Dirk…?" Jake asks, tilting his head in curiosity and question at Dirk. "You should ask John… it's more proper…"

"Of course, Jake," Dirk said while still looking and smirking at his rather annoyed brother. "So John, what do you feel about Dave? Hopefully he isn't too _scary_ for you."

Dave could feel one of his eyes twitch… _just_ a little… Oh, make fun of the rather frustrated brother why don't you…

"U-Um…!"

"Why would you… ask such a silly nilly question like that, Strider…? …Did Davey do something to you…? I'll break his pinky or two…"

"U-Um!"

"Oh come now, John, I believe you can easily answer me and Jake about Dave. You did kill that father of yours."

"U-Um, I–"

"Oh please tell, John… I'll break him… and protect you…"

"W-Well, you see, um–!"

"Well John," Dave finally speaks to John and looks at him with narrowed eyes. "What do you actually think about me?"

John stares at Dave with wide eyes and is paling real fast…

As if the pressure finally cracked him, John sat up in a flash. "I-I have to go!"

And then John quickly walks away from the group to the bathroom. And Dave realizes the quote, _"I hate it when you leave but I love watching you go,"_ is quite accurate. Thank fuck Ampora isn't seeing the beauty of that ass…

But of course, there are things that need to be settled for Dave and that blue-eyed cutie. The sexual tension and frustration in Dave is far than enough as it's been enough as it's been like a century since he last fucked something while cutie-cellmate just had to be blessed by the plush rump god with that ass of his…

That's it. Dave is going out of his way to fuck ass.

"I'm going to help John with the bathroom. Be right back."

"Oh…good luck, Strider…"

"Hey bro, what are you–"

Of course, Dave didn't hear what Dirk has to say as he quickly gets out of his seat and flash-steps his way to the bathroom. Luckily, there are no guards…

Striders don't beg or scare people to get them. But there are exceptions especially ones with fine asses.

Of course, Dave has to first carefully and quietly open the first bathroom door. Luckily this one doesn't creak at all and Dave can hear… the running water of one sink… meaning John is all alone there… for now~…

Of course, Dave can see part of John… the good and lower part~…

Yup, he's definitely an exception.

"Oh man…" Oh? John is speaking to himself… "What am I supposed to say? What? Yes I think Dave is kind of scary but–"

"But what about me, cutie?" Okay, so Dave walks in like a badass he is while John squeaks in surprise and fear, even falling onto his ass. "Come on, you can tell me. I won't bit… very hard."

"D-Dave! I-I-"

John tries to get up, failing as he trips somehow and falls on his ass again. He looks really scared now. He's not looking at Dave… but at the door.

Dave inwardly chuckles, amused that John would think of trying to escape from him, a well skilled and trained assassin. But he needs to waste no time doing a little game of blocking. Dave flash-steps close to the blue-eyed scaredy-cat and immediately grabs one of his rather soft hands as he pulls both of them into a stall.

Of course, with great experience and training, Dave easily gets the stall door locked while doing an easy move on John. He simply twists and takes a smooth and swift steps and Bam!

Dave has John's cute face on the stall door while his back and nice, perky ass in front of Dave. Quite a wonderful thing…

"Now John, you weren't thinking of escaping of me, _right_?" Dave purrs.

John squeaks as Dave's grip on his wrist goes tighter. Sure, Dave is being a bit of a bully but there's no way a Strider is a pushover.

This may not be his usual style of getting laid but hey, Dave is sexually frustrated and needs that Egbert ass. He'll be gentle of course. Dave still wants John to at least enjoy it. So Dave won't put his gigantic cock in that ass, he'll need to loosen it a little~.

Well, Dave doesn't have any lube or any substances so–

"P-Please…"

Hmm? Dave looks away from the premium ass and… Oh shit.

Dave blames Dirk for being such a weird ass anime freak as he describes what he is now feeling: all doki-doki shit at the kawaii eyes as they are all uke-teary and looking at him in such a moe way. AKA, John is all teary-eyed and looking way too cute as a huge fuck ton of guilt body-slams Dave's stomach and entire body.

Yup, all that sex frustration is conquered by the adorable guiltiness and guilty adorableness of John…

"P-Please Dave…" John sobs. "P-Please don't hurt me…"

…Fuck…

Okay, so what if Dave lets go of John's wrist, freeing him. So what if Dave unlocks the stall door and help John a little so the cutie won't fall on his face? And so what if John ran straight out of the bathroom without any pause, pretty much hinting and yelling at Dave that he's still a "scary cellmate".

…_Fuck_, why did he have to be so cute…?

The cutie is going to be the death of him rather than the awesome and ironic stabbed by a thousand shitty swords…

There's that and suffocation of a fuck pile of smuppets…

Still, John Egbert will be the sexual frustration and end of Dave Strider…

* * *

><p><strong>Well, one of the art posts actually tells that Dave tries to intimidate John but can't handle his cuteness but of course, John is still scared shitless since Dave is indeed a murderer. <strong>

**Really, Dave here is indeed a badass guy when the moment comes but just like any psychotic human being, he has his weird yet interesting faults. One being he has a complete thing for fine asses and John is his cute weakness. :)**

**Of course, John will be next and there are more things scarier than a handsome German assassin, real bullying convicts who want that ass.**

**Thank you for reading! Please review! Bye!**


	7. Con VI: Getting Used To

**First of all, I was actually trying to get him to say is "I will end you," Jenn-Jenn. Please give me the right translation as always. Thanks again for helping! **

**And then there's a reviewer called Calibrates who has indeed surprised me with her/his/ (other pronouns) review. I got to admit, I did get offended. But thanks for standing up and rant to me to make sure that this fanfiction doesn't go bad. As scary and offending that was, **

**But please give me a warning in the beginning please… **

**Well! Time for John!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con VI<strong>_

_**Getting Used To**_

* * *

><p>Holy shit! John somehow escaped!<p>

He did not know how but boy is he glad!

John had immediately skipped breakfast, standing near a guard and watching at the group. Dave just walked out of the bathroom just a few minutes after John escaped there and went back to his group. As much as John was hungry for breakfast, he couldn't handle Dave…

But…

How the hell did John escaped? Sure, he didn't get hurt and should be relieved about it but… that's the thing! John didn't do any struggle that would explain how Dave released him… or how the door somehow got unlocked…

Did… Dave did that on purpose…? And why?

"Hey athhole, what the fuck are you doing?" Okay! John turns his head to see a guard. He has weird spiky hair, is tall and lanky, and has 3D shades. "Thouldn't you be with the otherth? The food thuckth but thith ith all you are going to get till lunch."

"Um… I just don't have the stomach, that's all." John said. He's a bit uncomfortable with the guard but hey, at least he isn't a convict. "I mean, I feel like people are just going through the trash and voila! Here's your meal!"

The guard snorts. "The guardth aren't getting anything different. We have to eat whatever the group ith making thince the both ith a thadithtic athhole."

John can't help but giggle. The lisp in this guard is really strong! John knows he's not supposed at others' "disability" but it's just funny! It made him successfully ignore the still overwhelming feeling of being in prison.

"I guess we're suffering all alike, huh…"

And now there's that uncomfortable silence again…

Usually John would be all open and smiles but seriously, there are scary guys that could be axe murderers for all he knows!

"Tho," Oh thank God, the guard is speaking! "I thaw you with that thellmate of yourth and I can't help but thee you being really uncomfortable as thit."

Oh, it looks like John was pretty obvious and it's on his first day too… Man, that seems really pussy of him to do but hey, he has a good reason! John may not be the most kind or generous person there is but he wouldn't kill his father! And well, of course he's going to be overwhelmed by this!

He's even sharing a cell with a fucking _assassin_!

"Yeah… I-I don't think I can get used to this…"

The guard looks at John and raises an eyebrow. "You killed your own father and you don't think you're going to get uthed to prithon or be relieved that you have a good thellmate?"

Now John looks at the guard. "Dave's a good cellmate?"

"Look, I've been in thith dump for thome time and I've have theen crazy thit going on in here with thellmateth. You're one of the lucky few that don't have to take that kind of bullthit and one that actually have an athhole who careth about you."

John blinks. He almost can't believe what he's hearing from a guard!

Dave cares about him?!

John then looks where Dave is. Sure, John doesn't see Dave's face and can only see the back of his head but… he doesn't look angry.

Is Dave… a good cellmate…?

* * *

><p>Okay, maybe John looks –or rather, "examines" the cellmate of his.<p>

Of course, John had to man up about it before he could even begin but there's no way he is pussying out anymore! Dad always did say to be open for everything even though he never was open about John being homosexual…

And John doesn't it for a few days.

And easily, Dave is saner than Jake.

Yeah, that shouldn't be something good but Jake has been… frequent around with John, always somehow being there with him. Jake seems to like his hair a lot as he keeps petting it. It seems Jake has something with self-harming himself, especially on his fingers. Jake chewed them as if it was some constant habit that the therapist wasn't so surprised of.

On the second day John's in prison. he's with suspiciously a new therapist...

Dave doesn't chew his fingers and doesn't seem to go to therapy at all. The constant habit that he seems to have is really, to have a pebble inside the weird shoe-boot thing that all the prisoners have. He usually takes the pebble of his and throws it against a wall like it's his usual leisure time. There's no finger-crunching at all.

And he raps. While John can't exactly look from the bottom bunk without looking suspicions, he could hear what Dave is speaking or rather rap about. And boy, those raps are shitty!

John tried his best to hide his snickers as Dave raps since he still is scared of Dave and –Oh my God! They're so shitty!

John really is lucky that he didn't burst out laughing.

And really, the leisure pebble-throwing time and the really shitty rapping make the assassin known as Dave to be less scary and more… human. Dave is still an assassin, AKA a murderer, but he's still human and not that complete psychopath in TV. The one thing that Dave has something very similar to those assassins is being good-looking…

And it seems that Dave feels guilty about trying to break his arm, too!

Dave keeps his space around John unlike the first day where he seems to like to put his arm around his shoulder a lot. Dave keeps a couple of feet or more between them and doesn't seem to try at all to go into his personal bubble or space and rather does the opposite. Dave is quite generous too as he keeps getting his tray for all of the meal times, guard outside the bathroom when John needed to go, and he even lets John play with his pebble when he picks it up and throws it up like catching a ball until John actually sucked it up and gave it back to Dave.

And damn, Dave even gave his top bunk when John had enough guts to ask!

From what he learned from the movies, bunks are an important part to the prison life!

"By dickens, Johnny boy… are you alright…?" Jake then chuckles. "Do you want me to mash this inoperable melon of his…?"

John blinks out of his thinking mode and then sees Jake's still scary handiwork with the latest therapist. But…

"Um… that's a girl…"

Jake chuckles again. "Oh…? You must have not learned the vital lesson in this big house of ours… All therapists are complete scoundrels…! All males!"

John raises an eyebrow, trying to completely ignore the blood on the therapist's face that isn't her lipstick and be curious about why Jake would think all therapists are males.

"What do you mean, Jake? H-How can all therapists be males?"

Jake then giggles and finally releases the unconscious therapist to the ground.

"It's quite simple, Jade… All females are pure camaraderie of taintless wonder while males…" Jake licks his lips, actually cleaning some near blood off. "Males… all are scoundrels… Yes… even I-I too…"

And for the first time, John witnesses Jake… sobbing…

"Yes… I'm a scoundrel… the worst scoundrel… for sh-she…" Jake chokes out a sob… "The worst… the worst there is…"

Before John could say anything, Jake hugs him.

Oh god, oh god, there's blood on him!

There's blood! There's blood on John now!

His dad… all covered…

John pushes Jake away, not caring if Jake is a psycho. John tries to breath, feeling as if blood…blood it filling his lungs!

So much blood!

Why did there had to be so much… so much…

"…John…? Are you–"

"I-I need to go!"

"Oh…? You need to go potty…? Why didn't you say–"

But John doesn't wait and listen as he actually dashes away, away from all the blood and blood itself…

* * *

><p>John takes a deep breath in.<p>

He was lucky enough to find a bathroom with no help and is able to scrub and wash the blood off of him. His arms and face are a bit pink and warm while his palms sting a little. But John scrubbed and washed just about enough to get all the… _blood_ off of him…

And now all alone in this bathroom…John had time to think.

Why is John so scared of Dave…? His brother Dirk is way more intimidating… Jake is a complete psycho…

While Dave…

John sighs.

John definitely judged Dave way too soon and that was an asshole move…

There is seriously nothing that Dave is doing that makes him scary and what happened on the first day just made him uncomfortable. Maybe it's because of his inability to handle being really overwhelmed of him actually being in… _here_ that if a cute rabbit was his cellmate, John would embarrassingly be scared shitless of it.

And Dave is a really attractive and good-looking guy…

John sighs again.

If only he wasn't an assassin and murderer…

But really, Dad had told him that there are kind people with a bad background so they (him and Dad and others) shouldn't be so prejudiced about it. Vriska was a nice friend and "beard" even though her biological mother is a real pirate. She had a seven-pupil eye and a robotic arm and an obsession with spiders and the number eight yet she is the greatest friend that John has ever had.

She even gave him gay porn and a rather big vibrator after he came out to her accidently. She teased him about finding a "nice" bad boy for him as he was such a "goody two-shoes"… and that his type might "very" similar to bad boys…

So yeah, Dad is right about not being prejudiced though Dad was hypocritical about gays…

Dave may be a murderer but he's been so nice and friendly with John that he shouldn't be scared of Dave just because he got way too overwhelmed about being in prison…

From the way Dave is acting towards him... Dave just wants to be friends with him!

John sighs and giggles a little.

Of course! It was so obvious! Dave wants to be friends with him! He had been so friendly with him and never really did push and bully John around. In a way, that makes Dave a dork!

He should definitely apologize to Dave…

The weird bell echoes with rings and beeps before the speaker came.

"**HEY FUCKASSES! LOSERS FROM STUPID THERAPY ARE OUT!" **

John seriously doesn't know who does announcement but boy… he curses a lot… From the movies, the speaker always did it professionally…

But it's perfect timing!

Okay! No more overwhelming!

Time to apologize to Dave and hopefully have enough time to maybe do a game with him! Perhaps they can play something with pebbles! Maybe even –Oof!

"Well, well, well! Look at here, men! It's the Striders' and English's bitch!" Oh no… Who are these people?

"Ha! Look at what a pussy he is!"

Okay! These are the people John should panic about! John tries to get up and run away. But there's someone behind him. Fuck! The dude is hard like a boulder!

"Well you look at fucking that, the pussy actually tries to escape from us!"

Uh oh…

In a second later, John feels his breath taken out as the guy that had blocked him now pushes him. But John didn't hit the ground again. Another guy pushed him. And another and another and another! He could feel and hear the horrible laughter from them. In the end, John felt the cold, hard, and painful concrete on his face after the last harsh push.

"Fuck, the boy is easy!"

"Yeah, fucking easy!"

"The bitch can't even save himself!"

John can't help but sniff a little. This is even worse than Dave's attempt to break his wrist in the bathroom. The overwhelmness is coming back and kicking.

"Damn, this bitch's ass is fuck!"

"Yeah, at least the demon bastard got some good choice."

…What…?

"Hey, careful dude. He's a pro assassin. He'll kill ya."

"So fucking what? Satan's spawn ain't gonna know what's gonna hit him and those fuck-ugly red eyes of his."

Is actually talking _shit_ about John's cellmate?

"Oh look, bitchy boy is up. What are ya gonna do, bitchy boy? Go crying over fucking freak's co–"

_Bam!_

John blinks as he sees the guy talking shit about Dave fall down on his back with a really sever bloody nose.

…Whoops…

"Fuck! The bitch took him the fuck out!"

"Hey! Wake the hell up, man! You can't be fucked up by this bitch!"

But before John could attempt to escape again, something hits him behind. One of the guys in the circle must have punched him on the back of his head. John did not go unconscious but he definitely felt the impact and pain of it.

Another guy grabbed the collar of John's outfit with a fist looking ready to punch his face.

"That's it, bitch! Now you're gettin' it!"

John squeaks, squeezing his eyes shut to ready himself for the hit.

But he didn't feel it. He rather hears something. He opens his eyes to see the guy that was ready… got punched by Jake.

"You… You…" Jake growls and looking the angriest that John ever saw. His teeth are bare, his mouth is in a deep frown, and his eyes… "You rank-sleazy… boil-brained… fly-bitten bastards!"

John blinks once and Jake tackles the offender to the ground, repeatedly beating him. But the relief is short-lasted as a convict shows up right in front of him and– is now kicked away from John and is now unconscious…

What the–

"Hey, you alright?" John blinks again and turns his head to see… Dave…

"U-Um… y-yeah…" John inwardly kicks himself. Why the fuck did he stutter?! Jake is beating the shit out of a guy and Dave is just… staring at him…

As if Dave realizes John is finally staring back, he actually looks away. Why is Dave looking away…? Oh yeah, he must felt guilty about the whole wrist-breaking attempt thing.

John then looks down to see… the people who surrounded him all "asleep" and have pained looks. Dirk is actually here and is fighting and winning a fight with three guys while Dave and John just stand there…

"Hey Dave…" John begins, taking a deep breath in and out. "I'm sorry."

Immediately, Dave looks at him with wide eyes. Dave looks pretty much shocked and surprised on what John just said.

"Entschuldigen Sie mich? I mean, excuse me? Egbert, I should be apologizing, not you. I mean, fuck, it's like a kid taking one shitty cookie and the bitchy father bitch-slaps the child where the bitch father should calm his tits down and apologize rather than the kid offering himself as some weird ass human sacrifice for weird ass smuppets."

John can't help but actually giggle in the end. He seriously doesn't know what Dave is trying to do with that bizarre metaphor but Man! Did it lighten the mood! John begins to full-out laughing!

"Oh my God! Haha! Did you seriously –Haha!"

"Hey, as cute as the laugh may be, don't be dissing the Strider metaphor." But John could see that his cellmate is actually blushing.

John settles down his laughter and giggles to look at the flustered Dave. Well, he's not exactly flustered but he is blushing! Yup, Dave isn't scary at all…

"But really Dave, I'm sorry and all you did is just act natural that's all." It's a weird reaction but then again, John hates cake. "Sure, breaking anyone's wrist shouldn't be exactly forgiving but hey, I forgive you with that dorky rambling of yours."

"Breaking wrist…?" Then Dave has a straight face on. "And what are you calling "dorky rambling"? That was a divine sermon of one striking Strider assassin, Egbert."

John then laughs.

"I was overwhelmed." John begins. "I was overwhelmed by the whole… prison life, I guess, that I took it out on you. I mean, yeah, you're a bit intimidating but all you really wanted was a friend!" John didn't see the raising of one eyebrow of the bemused cellmate. "So… I guess I want us to be pals too! Sorry again for calling you scary!"

Dave then smirks and crosses his arms. "No problem, bro. Sorry for having a Stange up my ass just because you called me scary. I shouldn't be an arschloch because a Füchsin like you called me "scary". That was completely uncool in my part."

John can't help but feel relieved as he hugs Dave. He is glad that he doesn't have an angry assassin as his cellmate. And said assassin isn't so bad really. I mean, Dave is even hugging back and –Eep!

Is Dave actually groping his ass?!

"Don't worry _Liebling_, I'll protect you for now on~." Dave coos. His warm breath is really close to John's now sensitive ear… "Just go back to your cell and stay there. I'll finish this and be right back for you~."

Dave then releases John after giving a final squeeze on John's butt. John is pretty sure his face is fully red right now… And then Dave winks at him before he leaves!

It seems John's legs somehow turned jelly during that interaction as he goes back to his cell… Dave's warm breath still tingling his ear…

Yup, still a lot to get used to…

* * *

><p><strong>Next is Dirk. <strong>

**I actually have a headcannon that Jake has misandry, AKA hatred towards men while worships women. But Jake does have exceptions.**

**So Calibrates, thanks for putting passion and emotion in your review but may you (and the rest of the readers) put at least a warning in the beginning that it's going to be offensive. It's like an offensive joke, people will take offense and it's better if they are warned and yeah, hopefully you understand. **

**And to Jenn-Jenn, yes! You did it! And no universe that we know of is dead! :D**

**All in all, thank you for reading! And please review!**


	8. Con VII: Dub-Con

**So, school is getting over and exams are coming soon. I'll try my best to update this and other fanfictions. **

**And special thanks to Cupcake368 and WhatsMyPassword with inspiring words. Thanks Cupcake368 for cheering me up, I needed it. And WhatsMyPassword, thanks for the advice! I knew the group was a bunch of amateurs but now I know what to do with people more professional! **

**Again, thanks you two!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con VII<strong>_

_**Dub-Con **_

* * *

><p>Dirk knew there was something wrong when Dave returned to the table by himself with no cute blue-eyed cellmate with him. He did not question it vocally but the action of one raised eyebrow is enough for any professional Strider assassin to understand.<p>

Dave still didn't answer.

It was only when Jake giggled about something about friendship and protection that he pointed out where John was. Dave didn't look away from the mush.

Since there was no sign of struggle or wounds on Dave, Dirk immediately concludes something verbal or psychologically made Dave feel negative. And John did something to do so.

Breakfast was over with leisure time starting, Dirk stayed in the bathroom for a while since shower time in once every few days or week and Dirk likes to take care of his hair as much as he can. As always, Jake kept was there with him as Dirk washes his hair with sink water. But in that time, Jake kept talking about and how lovely a daughter he was.

Of course, Dirk professionally did not get jealous over that.

Dirk tried to find Dave but when he did, guards were too much and too near.

And Dave kept ignoring and avoiding Dirk which was annoying the fuck out of Dirk.

It was until a few days later when Egbert finally sat back down with the group that things went different. Jake petted his hair throughout and actually cooed to John about missing him. Of course, Dave went back to normal by smirking at Dirk's rather un-composed face as Jake kept touching _John_…

Of course, Bro didn't teach them how to handle envy and/or jealousy…

But ignoring that fact, Dirk examined to see Dave was not exactly harmed by John. It was rather disappointment and something foreign that was in Dave… It was like the same vulnerable and vulgar feeling that Dave had felt when he accidently cut Dirk's valuable Rainbow Dash plush's head off during a strife with Bro. Dave had worn the embarrassing French maid outfit to be even with him as he's completely shitty with needlework.

AKA Dave felt guilty.

It was today that Dirk skipped his session of therapy by convincing his shitty ass therapist that he didn't feel "right" in his stomach and needed to go to the doctor/nurse genderless thing.

Dirk easily found Dave doing a little competition of arm-wrestling and did only a nod to get him out of participating and showing off. But before Dirk could even talk to Dave, guards came.

Of course, the Striders had to be separated till therapy time was over…

Then, Dirk ironically pulled Dave's ear until he gave up and let Dave follow him with a sore ear and a mouth mumbling German curses at Dirk. Dave still didn't talk.

Jake had blood on him again however he was staring at a container of lipstick. He was most likely thinking about his deceased niece again.

Jake then told the Striders that John went to "go potty". But Dave immediately went to where John was supposed to be while Dirk was curious and Jake was seemingly calm, possibly believing Dave was going to "help" John in the bathroom.

Then all found John with a group of obnoxious trouble.

Jake immediately went into fighting mode while the Striders helped.

Of course, Dirk gave Dave time to re-earn his Strider title by talking to the blue-eyed cellmate. It went pretty well that Dave got a hug and a free squeeze from John.

Now, both Striders exit with coolness of the rapidly forming riot that they and Jake created. Dirk thankfully convinced Jake to stop fighting and take a nap in their cell. With the growing wildness of this riot, the Striders can go somewhere and talk privately.

Thus, Dirk and Dave are in an okay place where camera angles are shitty and are like a typical alley. And Dirk is going to get his answer.

"What the fuck did you do?"

"Excuse me?"

Dirk crosses his arms and glares deeper at Dave. "_What_ did you _do_ to John? What made you fell fucked up guilty?"

Dave clicks his tongue and averts his eyes. "I didn't feel guilty."

"Still, what the fuck happened? You were being a depressed submissive bitch for a couple of days to that cellmate of yours. What did Egbert do to you?"

Dave continues to lean back and sighs. "Okay, maybe I _might_ have been stupid–"

"When are you not?" Dave flips him off. Dirk chuckles.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Halt den Mund. I accidently shot the wrong victim and shit like that. Fick dich."

As entertaining teasing Dave is, Dirk needs to go back to business. "But seriously, what happened?"

Dirk sighs again. "Well, I might have… _asserted_ my dominance onto John –but I failed!"

Dirk blinks. Did Dave suggest… that he tried to _rape_ John?

In a split second, Dirk flash-steps towards Dave and punches him _hard_… right in the balls.

"Mutter-fuck-Scheiße! Bro! The fuck!?"

"You _arschloch_, did you fucking forget what Bro _taught_ us about _rape_? Don't _fucking_ do it!"

"Hey!" Dave yells out, even though he's still crouched low and still covering his balls. "It wasn't like I was doing full non-con, Blödmann! I was going for dub-con!"

"That's still unwanted!"

"Man, what the fuck! You watch anime shit like that 24/7!"

"That's different and ironic! My anime does not involve with real life!"

"You fucked a guy that looked like a fucked-up character in Boku no Pico! And by the way, it still fucking scars the shit out of me! I seriously don't see how you damn masturbate to that shit. Shit is more damn corrupt than that two girls and one cup video."

Dirk leans back to his part of the wall and stares straight at the slowly recovering brother of his. He's still pissed that Dave tried to force sex on John. Though the blue-eyed cutie is tempting and fuck-worthy, it's in the Strider code and life that Striders don't do rape.

"And I wasn't going to fucking penetrate him with little Dave. Even I know that's fucked up. Hölle, I wasn't even thinking of going for that perky, delectable ass! I was just going to give John a nice hand job, that's all."

"Still forced."

"Yeah, I get it." Dave finally let go of his nuts and crosses his arms, almost imitating his twin. "I learned my lesson and might have deserved the ironic and painful punch in the balls for my action and shit. It's like that one kid who keeps getting one more piece of apple-flavored candy till oh shit! The kid has stomach-ache and shitty diarrhea!"

"Wasn't that you?"

"Nein, it's not."

"Actually, I remember it now." Dirk smirks. "We were enjoying a fair in Texas, Bro was planning to fuck and kill ones of the employees and you–"

"Halt den Mund."

"And you actually told Bro to kill the owner after you stop panicking about it being poison and–"

"And you had a crush on an inanimate object!" Dave interrupts and smirks. "You were getting it on with that weird blue Pegasus thing. Your first make out was actually with–"

"Hey, at least we both agree that we did something we may or may not regret in that fair."

"And to see Bro in a seifuku for the first time…"

Both Striders shiver at the memory. It was windy that day and it seemed everyone there had a glimpse of Bro's bedazzled thong…

"So yeah. Es tut mir leid." Dave begins. "Shitty prison, shitty frustration, and adorable cuteness didn't make me think but that's a shitty excuse. Hell, the prison life is a shitty excuse! It's like anything going on in here is shit. Like therapists, they're shit. Like the meals, they're shit. Like the prisoners here, they're shit. This whole prison is shit."

Dirk nods in agreement. Prison has indeed done a few things on them. One major example is his hair as it isn't in its full prime for too long with barely any hair products that are in the showers. There's that as well as Dirk actually has to depend on Dave on getting cigarettes.

"Alright, I won't neuter you since it's excusable and you're somehow a Strider."

"Somehow?" Dave snorts. "_Please_, with these looks, I am a hundred percent pure Strider coolness."

Dirk chuckles a little, maybe even letting a smirk out in the open.

Dave is such a prideful little ass but he is Dirk's twin brother.

So, Dirk puts out a fist and Dave bumps it with his. Hell yeah. Alles ist vergeben.

"Just don't do it again and I won't let Bro know what you did." Dirk concludes.

Dave scrunches up his nose and has his face turns into disgust. Yeah, Dave knows what Bro does and how _very_ uncomfortable he can make it on Dave. The smuppet piles were Dirk's favorite to witness while Bro's is simply Lil' Cal's "hugs".

"Don't _fucking_ remind me."

"So," Dirk says as he sees the now approaching guards. "What are you going to do with Egbert?"

Dave then smirks. "Well, instead of natural Strider looks and dub-con," Dave looks at Dirk. "I'll do what you did before prison."

Dirk's eyes widen. Oh hell no! He couldn't mean–

"I'm going to make John Egbert fall in love with me."

Scheiße!

Dirk had been the charmer while Dave was the "knight" of the assassin duo. Dirk had the more comforting looks than Dave's impish smirk and Dirk has the calmness that Dave lacks of. Dirk can keep a straight face to the right emotion-face for the victim to see. But Dirk seriously doesn't like being the charmer.

Due to being such a "talented charmer", he got a title of being a destroyer of hearts while Dave got lucky and be the "Rote Ritter". It sucked for Dirk as no one wanted him due to being "alarmed" by his professional charms.

"Bro, you better not think about that." Dirk tries to quickly warn. "Dave, I swear if you actually think of doing it then–"

"Striders! What are you two doing together? Get _away_ from each other and go to your _separate_ cell. Thanks to an excessive riot, all prisoners are punished and must remain in their cells for the rest of leisure time."

Dirk inwardly curses. He can't let his obnoxious twin do this to himself. Not just because of the annoying title and how Dave is going to be truly shitty at it, there's the danger of getting _too_ attached.

"Well, Wiedersehen Bruder, see you soon."

"No you won't, _Strider_."

Dirk sighs and hopes he can actually properly warn Dave as he gets "pushed" to his cell.

Dirk also needs to stop letting Dave watch his romance anime…

* * *

><p><strong>And surprisingly, next chapter will also be in Dirk's POV while the chapter is a Pro, not a Con. <strong>

**I hope you guys enjoy it as my schedule is becoming busy. :(**

**Thanks for reading and please review. Bye!**


	9. Pro II: Booze

**Due to exams, I have to study so I will just update this until finals are over. **

**And now, I'll introduce to Roxy in the story!**

**I really hope Roxy turns out well. She's a nice character to read and write about. And the friendship between Roxy and Dirk are pretty cute too! **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro II: Booze<strong>_

* * *

><p>"<em>Dave, you need to go kill this asshole."<em>

"_Sweet."_

"_And Dirk, come with me."_

_Dave does his two-finger salute and smirk while leaves with his shitty sword and shitty sniper. Dirk can't help but roll his eyes as Dave shows his excitement too much again. Dave always did like killing the most compared to the other Striders. _

_Dirk never really did enjoy killing that much._

"_**Dirk**__, let's go." Bro said again, getting into his car. Dirk follows. _

_The car is nice but Dirk really doesn't care what the fuck the car is called. Dirk sat on shotgun while he crosses his arms and look out from the window. _

_Bro starts the car and drives with his music playing out. Dirk waits a few minutes before the song was over and Bro speaks._

"_You know the Lalondes, right?" _

_Dirk raises an eyebrow while Bro keeps looking forward. "Yeah, they're our rivals." _

"_Not anymore, we'll be working with them as well. It turns out the Lalondes need a few forces that takes muscle and irony with it." _

"_How the fuck did that happen? The Lalondes and Striders been competing for jobs since Dave made that one dude bleed to death with a chopped off dick and I poisoned the other with some weird shit that I can't remember." _

"_Well, too bad, we're working with them. They're still our rivals but we need their alliance."_

_Of course, Bro doesn't explain why since he wants to tell Dave with him as well as making sure he looks ironically cool when driving his car. And it never gets old really._

_He then takes a sharp turn with Dirk actually choking on his seatbelt._

"_Bro, what the fuck!"_

"_Don't get your panties up your ass, Dirk. I'm just taking you to your destination." _

_Now, Dirk looks at Bro with both eyebrows raised. He's actually going somewhere? And why just him? Usually Dirk works with Dave. _

"_The Lalonde that you're meeting is called "Ro-lal", a professional hacker. I want you to use your seduction powers–"_

"_Bro, don't call them that." _

"_Whatever, just use it and seduce Ro-lal. Don't know if Ro-lal is dude or not but hey, Ro-lal knows you and wants you." _

"_Ro-lal wants me?"_

"_Yeah, heard about you and began researching you like a full-out stalker. Ro-lal seems pretty desperate wanting to meet an asshole like you."_

_Dirk's face immediately sours. "Fuck you. I don't try to fuck any wrinkled ass that comes in my way." _

_Dirk is certain Bro made that even sharper turn on purpose. Thank God Dirk wasn't wearing his shades or else it could have gotten worse when Dirk's head hits the window._

"_Shit! What the fuck Bro! Again!" _

"_Just had to take a turn here, that's all." _

_Dirk leans back to his seat, arms crossed and mouth mumbling out German. There's no way he should waste his time arguing with Bro. Bro may have a weird ass fetish/kink for older men (AKA __**really**__ old men) but there's no way you get "fairness" with Bro around._

_Of course, they're in the slum part of town. Ro-lal is indeed smart enough to have a meeting here. Police don't care what goes around in the slums except where their slutty little mistress is and who they are sharing them with. Dirk and Dave can easily kill a total of five drunk-off-their-ass men, three alcoholic nobodies, six crack addicts, and one pawn of a crime group and nobody would really care. _

_Easily, Dirk can just be that "nobody"._

"_Oh yeah, Ro-lal said you could bring a gun with you. Not too big though." _

_Huh, at least Ro-lal knows how to be trusting too. Anyone who says no guns is usually trying to fuck with the Striders and __**all**__ the Striders would then kill of them._

"_I got it." Dirk answers and smacks his right leg, making the sound of proof that a gun is there. Unlike other assassins, Dirk puts his gun on the inside of his thigh rather than out where people usually inspect and can see if they look hard enough._

"_Good, call me when you're done or in danger. If it goes down to shit, call Dave." _

"_Yeah, yeah, Bro, I got it." _

"_And if you're going to get laid, text me."_

"_Bro!"_

_Bro actually chuckles. "You criticize me for fucking old guys yet you and Dave aren't fucking much even though you're at your prime time. I paid those prostitutes good money so you both could lose your virginity and actually use your dick the most that you can." _

_Dirk rolls his eyes. He still can't believe that it was Bro's present on their sixteenth birthday._

"_Yeah, yeah, I'm just looking for the perfect brood that's worthy of a Strider dick, that's all."_

"_Good answer. Now, go enjoy and fuck Ro-lal if you can."_

_Dirk nods once and gets out of Bro's car, ready to fuck shit up. He was trained for this type of shit and–_

"_Bye honey! Take care and don't talk to strangers!"_

…_Goddamn it Bro… And he just had to say it out loud in English too…_

_Dirk sighs and couldn't help but glare at the bar/brothel/whatever the fuck it is. It's definitely not a gay bar that's for sure. Bro didn't need to know just how "flamboyant" Dirk really is right now as it's not really that important._

_So, this is where Ro-lal wants to meet him?_

_It stinks like shit, booze, and crack._

_Oh well, Dirk will just go with it. He puts on his awesome and ironic triangular shades and strolls in. Immediately, he is deafened by cheesy dub-step shit, blinded by blaring neon colors, and sickened by the slutty and desperate females who try to get something. _

_Really, Dirk sees one female getting fucked right out in the public and no one pays real attention to it. Her fake nails scraping the shirtless guy's back as he runs her with no attention if she actually enjoys it or not. _

_Pathetic._

"_Hey, hey, you Dirk Strider?" Dirk turns his head to see someone that's definitely not a hacker or Ro-lal. "You got a job? I got a job for you. Need you to kill a high guy named James Egbert." _

_Yup, definitely not Ro-lal. It's just one of those desperate clients, an out-of-business man that got recently fired type, that want revenge and blood but doesn't have enough balls or insanity to do it himself. Yeah, Dirk isn't going to accept this pussy's offer. _

"_C-Come on! I-I'll pay you! Really good! J-Just kill James Egbert! P-Please!" _

"_No, I won't." Dirk said in English, easily brushing off the desperate man. There's no way a Strider would agree doing a job for this desperate little fuck._

"_P-Please! Just please! I'll give you anything! Anything I tell you! I'll give you money! I'll give you my values! I-I'll give you my wife?"_

_The desperate shit took it the wrong way wholly. "Y-Yes! My wife! She's still pretty. Very pretty! Sh-She'll give you a good time –a lot of good times! I promise!"_

_Dirk glares at him, disgusted on what he's actually saying. The guy didn't know that Dirk is already reaching for his gun, with silencer and everything, to get ready to shot his fucked up throat out. _

"_Why the __**fuck**__ would you offer your wife? You married her."_

_And then the fucker actually smiles. "D-Don't worry, I-I have my daughter! Sh-She's not a virgin but she's tight! I know. My f-friends know t–" _

_Dirk shoots him. There was no panic with illegal drugs and obnoxious dub-step in the air. Bastard deserved it and Dirk easily gets away with it. Dirk puts the gun back after it cooled down and he is far away of the now deceased fuck-up with no suspicion._

_With the blinding and flushing neon light, people will just believe the guy passed out of alcohol or whatever the fuck people are smoking and/or snorting in here._

_Dirk goes where the actual bar is, the ironic and cliché place that's the most calm around here. The majority sitting in the stools are depressed little shits who complain about not keeping or getting the job that they smoke and drink till alcohol poisoning and/or lung cancer kills them. _

_But hey, Dirk will just sit in one of these shitty stools and find anyone suspicious that could be Ro-lal. There's that benefit as well as it actually is the most calming part of this shithole. Thank God that Dirk got a box of cigarettes, he needs a few. _

"_So, you killed a man in pubic –public. That's pretty bad-ass."_

_Dirk actually blinks once and turns his head coolly to see an attractive blonde with pink eyes. She has loose yet sophisticated-looking clothes with a purple scarf around her neck. And she has black lipstick on her catty-smiling lips while carrying a half-empty glass of martini. This is most likely Ro-lal._

"_Ro-lal?"_

_She actually giggles and takes a big sip of her martini._

"_Yup, and you're the Di-Stri. You're more handsome than in those pics. You're pretty shot –hot." She giggles at her own verbal mistake. "The name's Roxy, Roxy Lalonde and I have a meal –deal for you."_

_Dirk puts his hands on the lower back. He isn't fully getting ready for the gun while looking cool as he can be. He nods his head for her to continue. She just giggles. _

"_There's a gang group called the Midnight Crew, they've been a brother –bother for us. They have floor –four members but they're very skilled."_

"_Don't tell me, you need the Striders to kill them off." _

_Roxy giggles again and drinks the last of her martini. "Yup, the Lalondes don't go kill-kill usually and they've been stealing good amount of sash –cash from us. Rosey will be talking with that cutie Davey buoy –boy soon so we'll have all the riders –Striders informed."_

_Roxy looks at Dirk with one hand on her hip and the other still carrying the martini glass. _

"_So, wanna make a meal… -seal… -deal?" She laughs again. _

_Dirk takes his hands away from his back and crosses his arms. It doesn't really sound that bad of a deal and Dirk did want to take care of some of the annoying competition away…_

"_What's in it for us?" _

"_Gad –Glad you asked." Somehow, Roxy got a new martini. She takes a big gulp and takes out her phone. "I fond –found your facts here and there though I give you creds on hiding out the obvious fact that you're a bad-act assassin. Badass, lol." _

_She shows Dirk the picture on her phone. And Dirk immediately stiffens and nods. There's no way Dirk could refuse this. This is one of his greatest weaknesses of all time…_

"_Well, Miss Lalonde," Dirk answers with his professional nice and sultry tone, "I believe you got yourself a deal." _

_Roxy giggles and shakes his hand with a somewhat firm grip. _

_How can Dirk refuse a Rainbow Dash plushy?_

* * *

><p>"Strider! There's a gift for you! None for you, though."<p>

Dirk ignores his drug-addict cellmate and smoothly goes to the guard with the brown package present.

It's been quite some shitty time since he's captured here. He is separated from his twin brother and this prison is shittier than the one they escaped with the annoyingly increased security and the drug-addict cellmate wannabe that he has.

"She said something about it being your birthday, so enjoy whatever this gift is. I'll let you have it."

Dirk doesn't really care if the guard leaves or if the druggie-wannabe is watching or not. He's just suspicious that someone actually delivers something on his birthday. Bro already gave Dirk a nice pack of cigarettes and a good lighter. Who would give a heavy-smoking assassin a gift?

Dirk easily rips the package, there's really no tape keeping it intact.

And Dirk is shocked.

The gift is nice expensive-looking vodka with a pink note attached…

Dirk reads the note.

**Hello Di-Stri,**

**Hoppy**** *Happy Birthday!**

**Fought it ****wood**** *would be nice to give ya something ****pursonl**** *personal from me. Hop yu like it! ;)**

–**Ro-Lal **

**P.S. Dont wurry abot Davey, Rosey got him sometheng!**

"H-Hey… w-w-what ya got there? B-Booze? From who? A-A guy…? A-A chick…?"

Dirk just smiles warmly and then he answers.

"No, it's from a really good friend…"

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you Tigrezz for your review with your enthusiasm and your compliments, it's nice to read. SirLurk, you are awesome and thanks. :)<strong>

**And thank you guys for reading and good luck to all students with exams and finals! Don't waste it on YouTube!**


	10. Pro III: Outside

**Luckily, AP exams are over. But of course, there are finals… **

**But hey, at least I have some time to actually write fanfictions. That's good!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro III: Outside<strong>_

* * *

><p>"<em>Dad, what's out there?"<em>

"_Well, what do you mean, son?"_

_John can't help but nibble on his lip and move a little. "Well, what's outside? I never get out of home and…"_

_Dad puts down his newspaper and looks at John. "Why do you want to know, John?"_

"_Well, I heard one of the nice maids talking about… g-going to take a fresh air break or something and then I read a book about school and–"_

"_**John**__," Dad said, John immediately goes quiet. "Where is this book about school? You should know by now that school is not for you and that you are…"_

"_Homeschooled…" John answers and frowns. He didn't like being homeschooled. _

_From what he read from those books about school, there were a lot of kids around his age and aren't servants. The servants are nice but they don't have all the time to play hide and go seek or know video games all that well._

"_Now, son, I'm always proud of you and being homeschooled is a privilege for __**very**__ special kids. I'm proud of you being one of those privileged students and being a very special son of mine. Even though you don't understand it now, being homeschooled is the best for a child, especially you." _

_John sighs and moves a little. He's still confused on how he's so special that he's homeschooled and how being homeschooled is so special…_

"_Okay…"_

_Dad smiles and pats John on the shoulder. "Now hurry up and do that homework that your teacher assigned you, I need to go and work."_

"_Again?"_

"_Don't worry, son. You have one of the maids to play with you if you get lonely." _

_John sighs again. He likes the maids but… he wants Dad to play with him than just give him a maid to play with him and an apology cake later on…_

"_Okay…"_

"_I'm so proud of you, son…"_

_John watches as Dad goes upstairs to his private office room where John can never enter there at all under strict rules… John always did wander what's going on in there but could never find out since servants would keep guard and he's a bit scared of what would happen if he did find out. Dad can be scary with those other grown-ups and adults…_

_John sighs again. _

_He runs through one of the hallways, getting greetings from the passing and busy servants. John didn't want to do his homework right now. He knew a tiny, itty-bitty secret about his own home. There's a secret room that has a really, really big window. This window shows what's out there from home, the outside…_

_John luckily goes to the secret room without any servant around. _

_John gasps. No matter how many times, outside is so pretty…_

_There were a lot of green trees and bushes to be exact. This is the whole front yard with flowers, fruits, and fascinating bugs around. But John could see past his yard, he could see… the __**city**__. IT's a group of tall buildings, gray at day and bright at night. John didn't know much about the city but the city still makes John curious and wonders what's out there. _

_Why couldn't John go outside?_

_Is it really that bad out there?_

_John sighs as he looks at the far away city where cars and schools and kids around his age and people who don't bake cake are there…_

_Really, John wishes more than have play time with his Dad or have a day with no cakes or pies to eat is to go outside and play outside things. Is it really that bad?_

_Sometimes…_

_John wishes he wasn't special at all…_

_All special is doing is… making John all alone…_

* * *

><p>"Happy birthday, son! I'm so proud of you!"<p>

John smiles with his blue and green colored braces shining out in the open. Of course, there were lots of cakes, lots and lots and _lots_ of cake. And all the servants, workers, and maids are invited and are participating in his birthday party. And of course, there are no kids except for the birthday boy…

But John tries to ignore it as he blew all his candles with one go. He of course wished to have a friend that's around his age. Well, at least younger than what is around in this room in average… Really, John isn't picky…

All the "Guests" sing happy birthday to him as he just smiles with his green and blue braces on him.

His presents were the usual.

There's the new TV to replace the "old" one though John never really does watch TV. There are the new video games that John has to spend most of his really alone time and will most likely not play again offer completing them. There are "new" clothes made by companies that are valuable and stuff and just fits him better. And there is other stuff that is usually Dad's taste…

"Again, happy birthday, son!" Dad cheers out and gives him another whole piece of cake in front of him. Of course, it wasn't a slice of cake. No, it's an entire three-layered cake with lots of headache-causing frosting.

"No Dad! No more cake!"

"Oh just have at least one more, son!"

"No Dad, I'm full! If I eat another bite, I'll explode!"

Luckily, that stopped Dad from giving him any cake. And John couldn't help but feel excited! He found a way out of home and go outside!

Dad is going to talk to a nice gentleman with weird glasses while the servants, workers and maids will go back to their jobs as John goes to the secret passageway he found. Who knew that there's a secret exit with his window easily being unlocked with some help and a tree that he can climb down!

"Alright everyone, the party is over. All of you can go back to your post and work. If you need anything, I'll be at my office. And John, go and enjoy your new gifts upstairs."

"Okay Dad!"

"That's wonderful, son. I'm so proud of you now. Now, you know what to do if you get lonely…"

"Ask a maid, I know, Dad."

Dad nods and immediately goes to the still secret room. All the servants took off their party hat and went back to work. Some of them even start cleaning up the whole party. No one is really paying attention to the running John as he "simply" goes to his room.

John gets a bobby pin that he collected from the ground from one of his drawers and with a little jiggle here and there, he unlocks the window. A gust of wind tickles John's face as he takes the nice fresh air in his lungs. Hopefully, he doesn't fall…

He goes limb by limb, weight by weight, as he successfully transfers himself on the big and sturdy branch. This is going good… just a little kick and leap should do…

And…now!

John grabs the branch tight and takes a deep breath out. Thank God he made it! He learned that falling off a tree will most likely cause a cast and a bad, scary visit to the hospital… Now he just has to crawl to where the trunk is and…

"Bro, how is it that we are eighteen –legal age, right? –and we are actually waiting outside while Bro is "doing business". Bullshit."

John gasps as he spots two strangers –older and handsome strangers! One has weird-looking eyes that remind John of tangerines and orange while the other has red eyes. The red eyes interest John more while he looks at the two strangers.

Why are they here? No servant or worker is telling them to leave and all of them are simply ignoring them… Could they be people Dad is meeting with?

The strangers began speaking weird gibberish that sounds rough and demanding and cool… Is it a secret language like what the Germans are using in those violent movies that one of those servants watches secretly? John really did like that one American soldier in one of those movies yet they keep showing the same big bad guy with the weird and little mustache of his…

_Snap! _

Uh oh…

"Hey, do you hear that, Timaeus?"

"You're supposed to say it in German, arschloch."

_Snap!_

"Hey, what the fuck is that kid doing up in that damn tree?"

_Snap! Snaaaaaaap! _

"Fuck! Dude's on a bad branch! Kid! Don't move!"

_SNAP!_

John could feel himself scream with the top of his lungs as the big and "sturdy" branch that he was on.

Then everything goes black…

* * *

><p><strong>Interesting enough, I read in the Main Character Bios that Dave and Dirk Strider are 27 years old while Jake is 26 and finally, John… he's 22 –the youngest of the main four characters. <strong>

**And by doing a little bit of math, using information from MSPA Wiki, John Egbert was "born" on 4/13/1996 while Dave was 12/3/1995. Easily, Dave is older than John by 4 months. **

**And with the information in the Convictstuck Character Bio, Dave is supposedly 5 years older than John. But subtracting the previous information above, Dave is 4 years and 8 months older than John in this fanfiction (having his birthday already **_**4**_** months before). **

**So that's why John is 13 when he tries to go outside while Dave is actually 18, significantly older than the lonely pranking master. This information will be important further on in this fanfiction. Yeah, it seems to be really impractical but hopefully this is helpful in a way. **

**Thank you for reading and I hope all of you guys did well in your AP exams! **

**And now there's finals...**


	11. Con VIII: Coughing

**School is over! Time to write fanfiction! **

**I read the cute mini-comic where Dirk actually shared a cigarette with Jake but Jake comically coughs, it's cute and funny. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con VIII<strong>_

_**Coughing**_

* * *

><p>"Strider! English! Time to wake up! Breakfast time!"<p>

Jake chuckles and wakes up.

It is only a day after since the big ol' tussle and everything simply went to normal. Yet there has been change, good change, going on.

Just like any day in this blasted prison, Jake gets handcuffed so he won't "go loose" or the guards. But really, the guards should know to keep their dirty limbs to themselves. They should know after what Jake did with the last one…

Dirk didn't need handcuffs but those guards have to use guns as if trying to show dominance against his cellmate.

But Jake and Dirk listen of course. Soon, but not too soon, they'll escape. They will be out and Jake will get _him_… that _man_. He'll gut him, he'll stab him, and he will have his sweet, sweet revenge for his darling, darling Jade. Soon… but not too soon…

"Ugh! You guys stink! Still can't believe the warden wants to save water…"

Of course, wash-time isn't really soon as there were a few problems to fix and the warden, the mysterious little fellow, had reported a need to save water. It seemed poppycock but the warden isn't man enough for Jake to hate him. Jake had enjoyed the whining of men as they flap their mouths of how unreasonable it was. Washing time seems to be precious time for all who live here…

It was rather pitiful that Dirk needs washing time though…

"English! Hurry up! I will use force if you don't get your stink ass moving!"

Jake growls. The new guard –yes, very new indeed… –is quite bothersome –_very _bothersome…

"Hey, careful Hansford, this is Jake English. I don't want another coming and going."

"Please, he's just another sick fuck. What he's going to do to me?"

Jake could see Dirk and of course, he knows Jake isn't all like that and that he will have his revenge. Jake will always get his revenge. He shall with this Hansford man and he will have with _him_. Jake will.

But Jake shall walk. And he will he get revenge…

* * *

><p>Breakfast had been quite uneventful. Darling Jade-John didn't talk much at all but Dave has been so kind to reassure him –even compliment him at times! Dave is so kind to sweet, darling John…<p>

But then there's therapy…

John had to go somewhere, somewhere without Jake…

Even the easy torture of the new therapist had not made Jake satisfied. Really, he tried to be a female –tried to not be man so Jake could actually trust him –but all therapists are men. It is such a simple fact… But they never learn…

All Jake had to do was simply dislocate one of his wrists and choke the therapist to nice yet short sleep. The key was of course in the left pocket and Jake is out of the blasted therapy room. It was simply just another day…

But first…

"Seriously Hansford, you got to open your fucking eyes! English isn't just some psycho you threaten to put your gun up his ass. He's dangerous."

Jake hears a disgusting amused snort… It's him…

"The fuck is wrong with you, Joe? You shouldn't get your damn panties in a knot just 'cause some fuck-up is on you."

"English isn't like that…" Goo ol' Joseph is good enough, he was smart enough not to mess with Jake and not man enough for Jake to fully hate him –even with that beard… "English isn't some punk off the streets who smoke too much weed. He was decent –a bit rich even."

"_Really?_ That fucker rich?"

"Yeah, granny was some champion marksman and most of her dough was said to be given to English…"

"So what? He got some cash. Must have waste it all on women and booze…"

"No… it isn't like that, Hansford…" Jake could hear the flow of breath –the flow of smoking… Dirk likes smoking. Perhaps, Jake will get a box. "He spent most of it on a girl –a niece from what I heard from the ex-therapists…"

"Bullshit."

"No, it's true, Hansford. He spent tons of money to spoil his niece just 'cause his brother or sis didn't want her."

Jake couldn't help but smile, smile very widely. Joseph is decent –very decent indeed, to not call his sweet Jade a brat like victimized others. Yes, Joseph didn't need to go just yet…

"All that extra money… for a damn brat!" _Yes_, this Hansford guard must go –must go _really_ soon… "Shit, if I had that money, I wouldn't be stuck in this shithole with Ma and Pa thinking I'm some sort of crap!"

There was a pause –a silent and burning pause… Jake's grin grows bigger.

"Bill…" Joseph begins. "You got lucky that you're here! If it weren't for your brother, you would be one of the convicts living here!"

"She was a goddamn liar! I didn't hit her once! I didn't even touch her! She wanted attention and she got the cops all over her!"

Jake gets nearer, seeing Joseph and the _man_ that is Bill Hansford… He has to be gone –gone for good. After his first encounter with that blasted _man_, Jake gets quite prepared on having his revenge. He had plenty of practice from many horrible men and this shall be a challenge and an easy task for Jake… He will only use his words to eliminate him…

"Englith? What are you doing here?"

Jake giggles as he knows who this guard is, a nice fellow and friend of Dirk –the one who's helping them escape…

"Why Captor," Jake whispers back, not even looking to see the nice worrying face of the lispy guard. "Tell me more of this… new guard, this Bill Hansford _man_…"

"Hanthford? Jutht thome rejected thon with hith brother and father being thenatorth…"

"And the woman that he's talking about?"

"He wath reported to have attempted to rape an ex of his."

Jake growls. Hansford must go immediately.

"Englith? You're not going to have a fit, right? Thrider doethn't want you to be a fit you know."

Jake then looks at Sollux. He's a man in a way but he's not man enough that Jake hates him. Jake likes the times they have conversations but really, there is no way Jake will let anyone in his mind and heart after what happened to sweet Jade. Dirk is his most "trusted" friend but really, Dirk promises to help his revenge.

Jake begins to giggle and quickly grabs Captor's tie. Jake could see the dichromatic eyes as he pulls this fellow guard close to him.

"Could you…" Jake begins, whispering to Captor. "Could you be camaraderie… by getting Joseph out…? It would be _such_ nice help… Yes… Much help indeed…"

Jake chuckles and let go of the rather still guard. Captor had always been camaraderie with Dirk –especially with Dirk. There was that one time when Jake wanted to kill him but Dirk got him off of Captor. It was a silly mistake. Jake thought Captor was trying something with Dirk. He really didn't know what but it made him angry enough that Jake punched, tackled, and choked him during that time.

"What are you going to do, Englith?"

Jake grins wider and chuckles more. "Simple… I'm going to make that Bill Hansford man… _gone_…"

* * *

><p>"<em>Grandpa…"<em>

"_Yes, Jade?"_

"_Why… why do my parents don't like me?"_

_Jake turns his head and looks at Jade. It's only been a few days since Jake taken her as a guardian. He suspected Jade would ask that question much later. They were just in the zoo, sitting in a nice yet rusty bench with ice cream that's partly licked and eaten as well as partly melted. Jade got strawberry while Jake took vanilla in case Jade is still a bit hungry after she ate hers. _

"_Why would you like to know, Jade?"_

_Jade squirms a little and nibbles on her bottom lip. "Well… I never did get to know… I-I…"_

"_Don't be so shy, Jade. I would never hurt you or hate you if that's what you're worrying about. Go on, please do tell." Jake reassures and pats Jade on the shoulder. _

"_Well… I-I really want to…" Jade nibbles a bit more on her bottom lip. "I want to know what I did that made them not like me… I don't want anyone to not like me more…" _

_Jake couldn't help but sigh and squeeze Jade's shoulder to assure her. She is so kind, sweet, and dear. Only horrible people can't see the pureness of Jade…_

"_Well Jade… it isn't your fault –it was never your fault." _

"_R-Really?! B-But–!" _

"_Have I ever told you about… my father…?"_

"_You mean your daddy…? No, not really…" _

_Jake takes a deep breath in and then sighs out. "Well, he never did like me… Actually, I believe he hates me!" _

"_Hate you?! Why?" _

_Jake shrugs his shoulders and licks a few droplets of melted vanilla ice cream. "He just did… I tried very hard for him to like me, even to pay attention to me, but he never did… He plainly hated me…" _

"_Why would he do that? People can't just hate people for no reason!" _

_Jake couldn't help but look down on his lap and frown. He is glad that Jade is innocent enough to truly not know that there are horrible people out there… Jake will raise Jade with all the care and love in his heart. He will never be his father…_

"_I don't know, Jade… I really don't know…" Jake answers and licks more of his ice cream. "Maybe people are like monkeys, they go bananas a lot." _

_Fortunately, Jade giggles at this. _

"_Does that mean we're going to see monkeys next?"_

_Jake smiles. He could see the hope and joy in her eyes. She's quite excited to see monkeys just going around and jumping up and down to get attention. _

"_Of course, Jade…"_

_And maybe, just maybe, Jake will take her where the wolves are. Hopefully they become her favorite animal as it is for him._

* * *

><p>"Shit… Did you hear? New guard tried to end himself! Heard it was English's fault!"<p>

"Man, I heard. The new guard was a dumbass trying to dominate that psycho and from what I heard, psycho only talked about his parents and shit like that."

"No fucking way."

"Hey, English is one of them alphas in this shithole. Not surprised."

Jake couldn't help but giggle and then watch a group of sitting men tense. They knew not to mess with English. It was misfortune to many that Jake isn't in a straitjacket and he could walk "freely" with the other prisoners. Then again, there was that unresolved rumor that English caused the sudden disappearance of the guy that was ready to get him in a straitjacket and anyone else who tried.

But Jake needed something from them… It was break time and they have something he needs…

"Hello there, you have any cigarettes on you? A box, perhaps?"

One immediately gave out a box, two boxes actually. Jake chuckles and takes the nice and generous offer. He will remember to perhaps return a favor –if he doesn't mess with him or Dirk or John of course. This should be enough for Dirk… he always did like smoking…

Jake never really did like smoking. It made him cough too much when Dirk gave a stick to him.

So Jake takes the boxes and goes to his cell where Dave is and also John.

"I'm telling you Egbert, _nein_. These cigarettes aren't common to give and take."

"Geez, chill Dirk. Here, John, you can this one."

Jake couldn't help but giggle. Dave is so kind to dear and sweet John. But it seems Johnny boy likes smoking too. It seems alright, Jake is somewhat used to–

_Cough! Cough!_

W-What the-?!

_Cough! Cough! COUGH!_

"Hey Jake, are you okay?" Dirk asks but when he gets nearer, Jake begins coughing again.

Oh dear, this is so embarrassing!

Jake thought he was used to the smoking. Sure he had to breathe a bit more but that's just a tad struggle he had to do. But somehow with the extra cigarette lit, Jake is now a coughing haggard! This is very disconcerting! He can feel his face burn in mortification and from the excessive extra of smoke going on.

_Cough! Cough! Cough! COUGH! _

"Jake, what's wrong?"

_Cough!_

"I-I'm terribly sorry, Strider. It's–" _Cough!_ "It's just the extra burning from the smoking, I–" _Cough! Cough!_ "I-I guess…" _COUGH!_

But before Dirk can really ask any questions, Jake quickly goes away from the very bothersome smoke. This is even worse than the time Dirk was so kind on sharing a stick! How humiliating indeed!

Jake went just outside of the cell, coughing out his blasted sensitive lungs. He always stays with Dirk and his brother as they are partners to escape this hellhole. Of course, that is the main plan –there are other plans here and there to make the main plan. Jake may not understand some but he trusts Dirk.

"Hey, English… you still coughing?"

Jake snaps his head to see… a concerned Dirk…

Phooey, Jake just had to a mangled coughing baggage in front of the Striders and sweet John all because he can't handle smoke. And he's still teary-eyed and stuffy-nosed too!

"I'm quite fine, Strider… Just a tad under the weather, perhaps…" _Cough!_ "That's all…"

At first, Dirk just looks at him. Then, he sighs and sits next to Jake. There was still bothering stench of smoke but it doesn't cause Jake to cough.

"You know, you can act Mensch if you tried. You aren't as bat-shit verrückt as people say –you still suck on killing though." Dirk says. His tangerine eyes are now looking up at the dull and stony ceiling for some reason. "If you're that bothered by the smoke, I'll get one of us to stop. You're a Notwendigkeit to the team."

Jake felt it. Jake feels it. It's that familiar tinge in his chest. But there's no way that can be! That's codswallop! All feelings, all those useless erotic feelings, are nothing but trouble! He can't do this. Jake simply can't do this Dirk! Do this to him! But…

"Thank you, Dirk…" Jake says and begins to chew on his pinky. "Perhaps we shall talk about all those iron-plans you and Davey have –there are a fuckload of irons in the fire if I say so myself…"

Dirk actually smiles. "Yeah, we'll talk about that… But kein Kauen aber –no chewing."

Jake giggles.

Perhaps one day, perhaps before they all get out of here…

Jake shall cough these feelings for Dirk off of him…

* * *

><p><strong>And thus, here is my attempt to make Jake more human… <strong>

**I hope you like my hints on Jake's past. Psychos aren't born but made. Jake was sane but his past events made him break and his sanity isn't the only thing lost… **


	12. Con IX: Recruitment

**Well, I've been enjoying my summer vacation by going to a trip in Savannah, Georgia and enjoying its less crowded beach. I didn't get to go to any ghost houses but I did go to the park and museum that involved with Forrest Gump so that's great! **

**Of course, Dave is going to try to seduce John and maybe get closer to the oblivious cutie. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con IX<strong>_

_**Recruitment**_

* * *

><p>Dave can't help but snicker. His twin bro has the biggest and gayest crush on the green-eyed psycho. Dirk can deny it all he wants but Dave is his twin brother –fraternal, yes, but they still are twins.<p>

"D-Dave…?" Dave then glances at his cellmate, cute and very sane. Those blue eyes are so innocent and obvious. "What exactly is, um, going on?"

"Oh don't worry," Dave reassures with his ironic coolness. "Jake the psycho is just coughing a lung because he's too pussy about smoking."

Of course, Dave wouldn't say that in front of Jake or Dirk. He likes where his head is right now and still attached to his body. He thought it would be a nice joke that Ebert would giggle at but those pretty blue eyes are widened while his jaw is open in obvious shock at it.

Well, it looks like John doesn't do humor with dead shit and crazy shitheads most likely…

"So," Dave begins again while he looks at his twin brother gently putting the green-eyed psycho's hand away from getting chewed up again. "How old are you, John?"

"Well… I'm actually 22."

Dave turns his head and looks at him.

Seriously, the cutie is twenty-two?! Really, Dave thought Egbert is even younger than the drinking age. Of course, Dave knows John is in legal age since he's here and not in juvie. Then again, big doe eyes and a babyish face that looks young but not too young that would be seen as pedophilia.

"Huh," Dave begins, "Well, I actually got here at 22 so that's pretty ironic."

"So, um, w-what did you do to get here?"

"Got caught in the act."

John blinks at him. It took a few seconds for John to finally figure out and he actually turns all his head and lets out a quiet "Oh…"

Is John actually flustered about this? Seriously, the dude should be in prison for being so illegally cute than killing that mysterious bastard of a father. Dave is really glad to choose Egbert out of the convicts here. Then again, Egbert is the only cute convict here.

Dave puts his little zipper down just a bit to show a nice amount of teasingly shown upper chest. He had seen a similar move from Dirk.

"Man, it's hot in these jumpsuits." Dave then smirks. "On the subject of hot, why don't we get a little more… closely acquainted, John~?"

John turns his head –actually whiplashes his head to stare at Dave. There's an adorable and big blush on his cheeks. Yup, Dave did it very correctly. What is Dirk worrying about? He's a natural like that heavy smoking twin of his. Bro should have given him the seduction jobs than Dirk!

"U-Um…! I'm fine! I'm fine in my jumpsuit and not bothered and all!" John exclaims. "I mean, it could be like the time with that bad yacht in Florida!"

Dave's smirk disappears and his eyes widen. Did Egbert say… just said yacht?

"What do you mean yacht, Egbert?"

John blinks and actually stares at Dave with complete and pure confusion. "You know. Those big boats… You had one, right…? I mean, everyone had at least one…" Then John actually looks a bit skeptical. "…Right…?"

But before Dave could really say anything, Dirk comes back with a crazy smiling Jake. Damn, the green-eyed psycho changes moods quicker than a lady with twins growing inside her womb… At least English isn't going to be in those "fits" of his, especially in front of the blue-eyed cutie…

"Egbert," Dirk said in an annoying neutral voice. Dave can't help but scowl as Dirk glares at the now timid Egbert. "Out. _Now_."

Of course, Dirk had to be the intimidating asshole twin brother. He made John ran straight out of the room before Dave could say anything. Arschloch.

"Bye, bye Jade~," Jake giggles as he waves goodbye to the exiting Egbert.

Seriously, Dirk is letting his crush, a psychotic with revenge and self-harm issues, join in and be part of the team. Really, Dirk needs to get laid and shit. Maybe English can go all dominant on Dirk's ass to have that Arschloch brother of his to finally loosen up.

"Alright, time to get this meeting on before the guards discover the Strider twins are together." Dirk calls out and sits on the bottom bunk bed. English goes and sits on the top bunk bed. Dave couldn't but scowl even more. This is his cell after all.

"Yes~… There are… a fuckload of irons in the fire…"

Dave couldn't help but roll his eyes. Of course, psychos never plan stuff. They do action and hell lot of action with no second thought or plan in their head. Seriously, English is here for _attempted_ murder.

"Well, since we have Sollux, we don't need to hack that hard or much. We'll let Roxy help as to understand the whole system." Dirk said.

But before Dirk could say anymore, Jake pokes his cheek. Dave lets out a snort of amusement of this. English is leaning far enough to simply look at his twin brother completely upside down while Dirk is trying to keep a straight face.

"Don't forget Strider… you'll help me get rid of _him_, yes…?"

Dirk actually lets out a small grin on him. "Of course, that never changes."

Jake giggles and goes back to a normal sitting position. Seriously, this isn't fair. Even though Dirk isn't fucking or being fucked by English, this insufferable twin gets action in a way. Egbert doesn't chew his fingers where they soon be crunched and bleeding or have weird ass fits out of fucking nowhere. John acts like an innocent human being even though he had killed his father.

"But let's go to one of our issues," Dirk begins. "Money, we need money."

"Dude, we have plenty of money in the bank. Wie zur Hölle do we need money?"

"Because Arschloch, that's our accounts and the cops will easily find us. Sollux already told me the whole government group found our accounts and if we use them, we'll go back here faster than that car getaway we did."

"Yes… And we need weapons… lots and lots of weapons… especially for that beslubbering ratsbane…" Jake giggles. "And a bouquet of flowers… for her…"

Jake then frowns and looks up at the ceiling. Typical, English is more bipolar than Sollux, the guy who's actually diagnosed or something with bipolar disorder. Then again, Sollux can be considered "sane" enough from the ignorant crowd. And then there's medications for the bipolar disorder while English…

"So we have to have a plan to get some money that isn't completely illegal." Dirk continues. "Sollux tried hacking but security is tight and every cent is watched."

"Perhaps we could…" Jake then giggles. "We could dig up some corpses… maybe I'll hug sweet Jade again…"

"Dude, that's morbid as fuck." Dave couldn't help but interrupt. "I collected dead animals and put them each in a nice preservative jar and what you said… that's messed up." English just giggles.

"Well, what do you got in mind, Dave? We need money to survive, travel, and find Bro –and most likely, kick his ass if we can for ditching in this shithole."

Dave couldn't help but chuckle. It's now really ironic that he has the answer from a previous conversation. Dirk is actually looking at him as if all Dave is going to say is Scheiße. Jake is just staring down at him with a Cheshire smile.

"Why," Dave begins. "Don't we recruit John? He's rich as fuck."

Dirk looks at him with widened eyes then with narrowed eyes. "Dave, are you suggesting we should recruit _Egbert_?"

Dave just shrugs. "Dude has at least one yacht."

"A yacht…? …Is that some sort of animal… a pony perhaps…?"

"No, Jake, a yacht is some big and expensive wasteful boat," Dirk then glares at Dave. "No, we are not letting your boytoy be in this team. He'll just slow us down."

"Come on, bro, our accounts are watched, English wasted his on trying to do justice–"

"Money and law aren't always right…" Jake giggles while putting his ring finger in his mouth. "You try to pay handsomely… but a rich family full of warped, ill-breeding haggard will corrupt everything…!"

Jake begins crunching his finger. However, Dirk is busy by glaring at Dave. And Dave continues on.

"And you did say we need money."

"But not from _him_, we can't have a liability in this mission. We had planned this too long for you to fuck everything up because you need a toy to get laid."

Dave can't help but glare back. Now that's fucking rude. Bro raised him and Dirk to have respect. And Dave wants more than to have sex with Egbert. A date or a few would be very nice. I mean, Dave might be a bit of a sucker for innocent-looking people, especially if they have pretty blue eyes. But Dave knows Dirk is a stubborn Arschloch so…

"It'll be so disappointing that _Jade_ can't come."

English stops chewing his finger and looks at Dave. "J–… Jade…?"

Dirk actually interrupts. "Dave, don't you dare–"

"I mean, didn't you see your precious niece in Egbert's pretty blau eyes? It would be so heartbreaking if we just left _her_ all alone."

However, it was too much.

"No…! No! NO!" Jake begins to scream out. His hands are now on his head while his eyes are bulging out. "Jade is my sweet, sweet niece! I can't! I can't let it happen again!" Jake actually chokes out a sob. "We have to… We have to let Johnny-Jade join… I can't…–can't lose her again…!"

Dirk actually gets off of the bunk and tries to comfort the now sobbing yet smiling green-eyed psycho. But before Dirk could say anything reassuring or anything, English quickly grabs his neck.

"No…! No, no, no, no, NO!" English cries out with a wavering big smile on his face. "Strider –Dirk, Jade has to join –she has to come –she must! I simply –simply can't lose her –she was –is my everything –my sanity! –my happiness! –my LIFE!"

Shit, Dave tries to keep his cool as English is choking his twin brother. The first time English did this, Dave tried to help but got a punch worse than the ICP wannabe's. He was damn lucky all his teeth are still intact and his nose was fixed back to normal on his handsome face. He learned the hard way to let Dirk handle English alone.

Dirk just keeps a straight face and cautious deep breaths while staring at English who still shaking him. Dirk takes a huge deep breath before letting a concerned and pitied face on him.

"Jake…" Dirk says in a comforting voice. "It's alright… Don't worry… I'll recruit her, I promise. You won't lose her again… I promise."

Jake growls and tightens his grip on Dirk before finally releasing him. English giggles and hugs Dirk for a second and then goes back sitting on the top bunk.

"Yes… Jade is with us… She won't disappear again… No… She won't be gone again…" Jake giggles and bounces a little on the bunk bed. "Jadey-John will be alright…"

However, that was it. "Dirk Strider and Jake English, you are in Dave Strider's cell and you must be out at least 5 cells away, now."

Dirk nods at Dave though the red-eyed twin knows better. Dirk is pissed off with the whole recruitment of Egbert and they will talk…_allein_.

Dave waves goodbye to English and Dirk as they get escorted out by the guards. Well, there's always next time to organize and make plans, just need to wait a few days that's all.

Hey, where did John go anyway?

"**JOHN FUCKING EGBERT! GET YOUR ASS IN THE FUCKING PHONE ROOM! NOW!"**

…Well, Scheiße.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, it looks like John is finally in the team… sort of…<strong>

**Don't worry. John is going to be okay. He's just going to meet a very familiar person that he knows. :D **

**Can anybody guess who? :3 **


	13. Con X: Karkat

**There are almost a hundred reviews! Yay~! Well, it turns out the first visitor for John is…Karkat. **

**John will have more visitors along the way and some of you already guessed the others. Of course, John can't exactly meet all of them at once since he is still new to the prison life and hasn't exactly taken a shower yet…**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con X<strong>_

_**Karkat**_

* * *

><p>John seriously didn't know what he did wrong! There are guards guiding him to this "phone room" that John never really heard of. Really, he's been in prison a little over than a week and listened to all the guards and stuff. Did he break some rule he didn't know? And what was it?<p>

"Hurry up, Egbert, the guest is waiting." The guard on the right demands. Immediately, John obeys. He seriously doesn't need any more trouble in prison.

And taking a right, two hallways, and the farthest door on the left, John sees a room… that looks like a scene somewhere from Legally Blonde, the movie version. There are clear windows, silvery metal phones, and walls and chairs to give a bit of comfort and privacy.

John then feels another push from the guard on his right.

"Egbert, your guest is in the far right. You have about five minutes. Go. _Now._" The guard pushes John to a seat. "Come on Joseph, we are done here."

"Did something happen between you and Kyle?"

"Shut it!"

John looks at the exiting guards and then turns his head to see…KARKAT?!

What's Karkat doing here?! And boy, Karkat doesn't look happy to see him at all… Then again, John is in prison and is a prisoner because he's somehow trialed guilty of committing patricide he didn't do.

"Um, hey Karkat…" John says and waves to the still straight-faced Karkat.

However, Karkat points at the silvery metal phone that he has on his ear. Oh yeah! That's how people communicate… John slowly puts the phone on his ear and…

"**YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"**

John couldn't help but quickly lean back and flailed until his back and part of the metal chair hit the floor. Yeah… pretty much every prisoner and guard has his attention on the fallen John. Well, Karkat most likely got attention from the other side.

John tries to calmly and coolly get up and this time, put the phone just a few inches away from his phone in caution.

"Um… Hey Karkat…"

"**John **_**fucking**_** Egbert, what in the almighty fucking galaxy are you doing in this shithole prison?" **

"Um," John looks away at the side and looks back at the glaring Karkat. "I was trialed for… patricide…?"

"**YOU DID FUCKING WHAT?!"**

John tries not to let a blush cover his entire face as he gets the attention from his side like Karkat. Seriously, Karkat needs to really quiet down… This is so embarrassing… Even though Karkat is a wonderful friend, his shouting tendencies can be uneasy than plain old funny…

"_Just_… just listen…" John tries to reassure the fuming friend of his. John then leans close to Karkat, luckily not bumping the invisible plastic wall thing. "I didn't really _kill_ my Dad… Karkat, you know me, I would never do something like that!"

"**Well, it was in fucking trial from what I heard from Terezi. Lawyers were out of their safe, haven asses out of their miserable lives to talk about some famous owner's son whose name is obviously John **_**fucking**_** Egbert who had **_**fucking **_**literally ripped his father with pools and splatters of literal blood everywhere!"**

"_Look_, something happened and I was just sleeping. And I didn't even get a fair trial!" John whispers loudly into the phone. "The judge just took a look at me and proclaimed I was guilty! He was paid to say I was guilty! Please! You got to believe me! I would never kill my Dad –or anyone, really!"

Karkat looks at John –actually, he's still glaring at John and…

"**Alright, I fucking believe you. You barely know what the fuck is the damn real world…"** Karkat then looks away and blushes. **"And you did help me with Terezi…"**

"Oh yeah, how's Terezi by the way? The whole…Makara thing isn't, you know…"

"**You mean my ex best friend? Yeah, she's recovering well and thanks for hiring another lawyer that's actually decent and somehow not a crazy, cackling Pyrope. Gamzee never did…do well in therapy…"**

"Karkat, it's not your fault. Gamzee –well, he's…"

"**I get it, Gamzee became a fucking asshole. I didn't see it until he beat the shit out of Terezi that Kanaya and I had to put him down and literally beat the crap out of him till the police came… I'm glad Aradia is there for steroid horse-fuck after Nepeta…"** Karkat then looks away.

"Karkat…"

"**No, I'm fine,"** Karkat looks at John. **"And really, your "fiancé" is hiring private investigators about the death of your father."**

John blinks and leans a bit closer. "Wait, _Vriska_?"

"**Yeah, that "fiancé" of yours keeps saying you're completely innocent and all you are is a simple scapegoat. It was pretty fucking obvious when the new owner, that Aunt Betty of yours, was announced with now news of your Dad's death. I still got the fucking job of secretary-manager of the shitty company since your cousin with the braids might… have the weirdest fucking crush on me…"**

John couldn't help but gawk. His ears seriously can't be fooling him. "Meenah has a crush on you?!"

"**Shh! I fucking know! It's weird and it's like fucking in a codpiece out in a brain-dead public, I know! But Terezi and I talked about it and we are postponing our wedding until all this crime-drama shit is scraped the fuck off and finished."**

"W-Wait! Y-You mean…"

"**Yes, John, I'll try to figure the fuck out why you are thrown in this shithole..."** Karkat actually rolls his eyes at this. **"You've been a shitty and annoying friend… but you're still my friend for fuck's sake."**

John can't help but laugh in relief. He is so glad that Karkat knows he is innocent and there are people trying to help him outside of prison… But how much time will pass before he could have his innocence proven…?

"Thanks Karkat… that means a lot…"

"**Yeah, yeah,"** Karkat tries to wave it out but the blush on his face is saying something else. **"Just… just don't drop the fucking soap, that's all."**

"Wait… Soap…?" John tilts his head. "Is there something wrong with the soap here?"

Karkat blinks and stares with widened eyes at John. It's like John doesn't know a valuable and important fact about prison. John pretty much watched all those prison movies but the prison is pretty much updated since the eighties or something. And there's no way a plastic spoon has a chance with concrete floor.

"**John,"** Karkat seem to be ready for something. **"Please tell me you watched a shit-nuzzling boring ass movie of real-life prison and not crap-guzzling movies like Con Air…"**

Wow, rude! "Dude, Con Air is the best movie! At least it's better than all those rom-coms you collect!"

"**Hey! Those rom-coms are not something you should laugh at!" **

"Really, I thought that was the point of rom-coms."

"**John, listen–"**

"Alright, Egbert, your call time is up. You'll see him in a few weeks or month depending on his schedule and your behavior." The guard commands. The guard takes the phone out of John's hand and pushes him out of the chair.

Damn, it looks like John will hear and talk to Karkat next month…

Wonder what Karkat was going to say about prison and soap…

Seriously, what's wrong with dropping soap…?

…Crap!

John forgot to ask about Jane!

* * *

><p><strong>Of course, John isn't the only one who has someone visiting him. And Karkat will come back, but due to prison rules, he won't come often as you think. But there will be other guests that will appear and they're not only for John. <strong>

**And don't worry, shower time will be coming soon. ;) **


	14. Con XI: Girlfriend

**Thank you all the people who made this fanfiction have over 100 reviews! Thank you: DoctorTunaJack42, The Magnetic Witch, people101, musicalBlink, Tigrezz, christinamina1, and Watchinguu for your reviews! And… **

**Congratulations, The Magnetic Witch, you are my 100th review and because of that, you get to have a one-shot! I will try to do a pairing that you like where you get to give me both genres and basic plot of the one-shot. You can either type it as a review or PM it to me. Have fun. :D**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XI<strong>_

_**Girlfriend**_

* * *

><p>"So Dirky, how's the prison life for you?" Roxy asks a bit more sober than she usually is. "You seem to be doing well since all those raiders –traitors are erased and doing some good dips –deeds since you got a private room for us."<p>

Dirk chuckles. It's not exactly a private room really. There are other prisoners with his individual table and loved ones sitting with them. It took a lot of "good behavior" for Dirk to get a more intimate conversation with Roxy.

"I'm doing fine, Roxy. Using once a day phone calls to the right people had been exhausting as fuck. And really, I've been more exhausted by my Bruder than ever."

Roxy giggles. "Is Davey a bet –bit pouty after Rose's last visit?"

Dirk couldn't help but frown and then shook his head. "No, it turns out it's all about his new cellmate, Ekbert or something."

Roxy couldn't help but give a giggle –this one is more mischievous and catty. She's okay with the Striders wanting wurst though Dave is more bisexual while Dirk is, in her words, "a complete circle-y gay-bow rainbow".

"So, how cute is he? I mean, I've seen that cellmate of yours but damn, he's a bit hazy-crazy isn't he?" Of course, Roxy teases Dirk about this "crush" he has on Jake. Really, he may be cute in a weird kind of way but there's no way Dirk would be distracted by a green-eyed cutie psycho from his work.

"I didn't really pay attention. Dude's just some guy who regrets killing Vater and looks like jailbait way too much."

Roxy giggles at this. Actually, when Dirk actually observes, Roxy looks happier than before… It's good that Roxy is getting more sober and happier each visit. But exactly what? Or who? Roxy deserves to be happy and sober permanently than temporarily.

"So, who's the hunk that's been distracting mein Roxy?" Dirk asks with a smirk and a wink. He has to act like the flirty and most likely manipulative boyfriend in front of the guards and a few prisoners who want his dick.

Roxy does a little chuckle and presses a manicured finger on her lips. Of course, she does it with her right hand than her left to signal that the guards aren't coming. It was their secret signal before Dirk got himself in prison. She would do her signal and Dirk immediately responds. They had such a good partnership.

"It's no hunk, Dirky. I found myself a nice girl who owns her own bakery and is uber hot and smexy." Roxy answers in a whispered tone.

"Does she know about your job?"

"Naw, she thinks I do web-designing like her bother –brother. Turns out, she has a hottie brother! Lol…"

Dirk nods and smiles. That's good. He didn't expect Roxy going for a girl but if this mysterious girlfriend makes Roxy happy, she got to be okay. And really, the mystery girl doesn't know what Roxy truly does in her "job". She is most likely not a spy. Spies don't own bakeries, too much work.

"So, how's the hacking going on? You think you can help Captor with a few security cameras and computers." Dirk whispers while making sure his eyes are half-lidded and have a lopsided smile on his face. "Sollux has to do real work as a new guard to make sure he doesn't create suspicions around him."

"Don't worry, Dirky, Mama Roxy has everything under corn-roll –control."

Dirk can't help but chuckle. Things are going quite well. Sollux and Roxy are hacking into the prison security system while Roxy is making sure Sollux doesn't back-stab them. Of course, Dirk and Dave didn't just stayed in prison for five years doing nothing. With prison, they made sure traitors and missions were done and finished with no seemingly possible proof that the Striders did anything.

"So, when do you think we'll get our big escape happening?"

"Somewhere around later," Roxy answers and then presses her left finger on her lips. "I'll miss you even more, darling. My heart will be with you in town."

Dirk knows what to do. The guards always want a show. He puts his hand on Roxy's shoulder and slowly for the guards, moves the dress more to her arm where they would easily see more reveal of her nice and unblemished skin as well as one of her bra-strips Roxy went with it as usual and tilts her head on the opposite side to reveal even more while putting on a flirty smirk on her face.

"I can't wait to get out and dominate." Dirk growls with flirt.

"When you come back, my apartment is around the left corner when you enter."

Dirk nods. Like policemen when they actually try, they use a nice code by simply using "flirts". Sollux most likely did it while Dirk and Dave are away. Sollux was there when the guards told him to go to where Roxy is. And Sollux was the guard to guide English back to his cell. Hopefully, Jake didn't do anything bad to Captor.

"I'll come and I'll be ready, Roxy." Dirk flirts as he gets closer to Roxy.

"I'll get ready for that. I need a few preparations, that's all."

Roxy then leans to Dirk's ear. "Don't worry, Dirk," Roxy whispers, "You won't be alone."

"A-Alright, Strider, it is t-time to go. Your time is up!" One of the guards yells out.

Of course, Dirk remembers this guard. Dude is a complete virgin. But Dirk has been paying attention to some of the guards. The virgin guard name is Kyle Maddox, secret boyfriend to one of the threats of escaping, Ethan Connor. Connor is a high-strung guard and shows no mercy while his actions are mostly done for "justice".

And one of the mistakes that Dirk knows prisoners and convicts shouldn't do is upset Maddox.

Of course, Dirk removes his hand and has Roxy cover her bra-strap and extra reveal of skin by putting back her sleeve in the right place. The other guard is perverted and is disappointed.

"I'll see you again, Roxy…"

"You too, Dirk…"

Both Dirk and Roxy stand up and give one big last hug until their next visit. Dirk will really miss Roxy. Roxy is a true friend to him.

"Love ya, Dirky…" And then Roxy kisses Dirk on his temple.

"S-Strider, y-your time is up! H-Hurry up!"

And thus, Roxy and Dirk are apart again. Just a couple of weeks, they will meet again. A guard takes Roxy away while the two guards guide Dirk back to his cell…

* * *

><p>"Strider… You're back…" Jake giggles as he gets out of his nice top bunk.<p>

Dirk nods. It looks like Jake didn't harm Sollux but has been chewing on a finger when he was gone. Jake doesn't seem to be in a bad mood and is very happy to see Dirk.

Dirk walks to the far left corner and finds…

"Why Strider," Jake is just behind him, giggling, "The fellow Captor was there, too… Told me that it's for you… and that I can't touch it…"

Dirk doesn't answer as he looks at the item that has been dropped for him. It's a piece of paper with squares, circles, and X's drawn in. This could be more safe-zones with security cameras pointed out. Of course, this is simply one or two rooms… Dirk just needs–

Before Dirk could conclude how many he needs, he freezes as he feels Jake _very_ close to him and… sniffing him –taking a big whiff at his hair…

Jake's chest is pressing on Dirk's back. His arms are around Dirk's neck and shoulders. His chin is resting on the top of Dirk's head where his hair really needs a shower but it seems Jake doesn't care that much. Dirk couldn't help but feel warm and have his heart beat fast and loud as Jake is sniffing him still. Of course, this could be simple fear or shock –not being flustered or anything like that. Jake may trust him and won't intentionally kill him but he's still a ticking time bomb. Jake has his fists and unpredictability that can surprise anyone. And that is what Dirk is feeling, not fluttery.

"Perfume…" Jake breathes out. "You have perfume on you…"

Jake lets go of Dirk and smiles down at him. Dirk carefully drops the paper down before getting up and waiting for Jake. Of course, it is a good idea since Jake then pushes Dirk to the concrete wall.

"It's from that lady that you're courting… yes…?"

Jake then presses harder on Dirk. Jake chuckles as he leans and deeply smells Dirk's neck.

"Jake…?"

Jake frowns in response. Jake then slams Dirk at the wall.

"You know Strider…" Jake hisses. His warm breath is on Dirks' ear. "I envy you… having a pretty dame, Strider…"

Jake then chuckles, his breath is making Dirk shiver. "So fortunate…"

Dirk then calms down. Of course, Jake is just jealous of him having a girlfriend since he had as weird obsessing respect for women. Jake then lets go of Dirk and simple giggles. Dirk can't help but feel… disappointed.

"But you know…" Jake begins to say as he gets back to his top bunk again. "I'm also envious of that lady of yours…"

Dirk raises an eyebrow. "Why's that, Jake?"

Jake giggles. "You lady… is so close to you… I wish I could be closer…"

Dirk feels his heart beating fast and hard again while his face feels way too warm. No, Dirk isn't flattered at what Jake said. Damn, Dave and Roxy are getting in Dirk's head. T-There is no way Dirk is falling for Jake. I mean he's cute in a weird kind of way. He has nice grün eyes, nice tan skin, and…

…Scheiße.

* * *

><p><strong>Dirk definitely has a crush on Jake. XD<strong>

**As a reminder, The Magnetic Witch gets a one-shot that has at least one pairing, chooses both genres, and can give me the basic plot. It just has to be in Homestuck, though. I hope you like this award and hope you enjoy it when I make it! **

**And thank you everyone for reading this, following this, have favorite this, and reviewed it. All of you are completely awesome! XD**

**Next chapter, we shall have a "Pro" with Dave as the other three had theirs. **


	15. Pro IV: Red

**There's been a problem going on in the Convictstuck Tumblr that people are reposting things that aren't theirs and really affecting the creators. It is art theft and is not cool. I am just a writer who is using their creation but I did said in my author's note that the idea is not mine and even though one of them said it's okay to make fanfictions, I want to inform you guys since I love this AU and I don't want it to end. **

**Please help the creators and support the original account. Reblog, don't repost!**

** www . convictstuck . tumblr . com**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro IV: Red<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Dave really hates smuppets. <em>

_He is just your regular thirteen year old boy who is now wakened by a pile of smuppets on him…_

_He knows who did it. _

"_Bro!" Dave yells out as he tries to dig his way out of the smuppet pile. _

_He seems the only sane brother as he's the only one that dislikes the smuppets. Dirk makes way too many of them while Bro does videos and sells that blasted things. Dave is simply the victim of all that smuppet piles and harassment from them…_

"_Bro isn't here! He's doing a job for that weird old man with the hat!" Dirk yells. "And hurry up, your poptart is getting cold!" _

_Dave simply curses in German under his breath. They are in America again since Bro has weird taste in men and wants at least one fuck with the senior with the hat. The customer is some business man who happens to be a single dad that has a fuck ton of secrets in him that he makes sure stays quiet. He's polite and likes to bake but Dave is seriously annoyed and embarrassed how much Bro flirts with the guy. _

_Dave walks to the supposed dining table of their American apartment with Dirk literally with Dirk literally screwing something he made with a bolt and a screwdriver._

"_When is Bro going to finish?" Dave question as he eats his poptart. _

"_Don't know. He gave us a shopping list and some twenties before he left." _

_Dave groans. He hates shopping. Dirk would try to buy the cheapest shit so he had enough money for himself to buy anything from manga or pony toys. Sure, Dave gets his apple juice but Dirk takes __**way**__ too long!_

_Then again, they are getting low on Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks…_

"_Are we going to go to that shitty mall?" _

"_You mean Walmart? Duh." _

_Dave overdramatically groans. Dave hates Walmart. Why couldn't they go somewhere else? They did go to that mini mall to kill that drug dealer who stole good money from the customer they had. Dave found an ironic app that involves a dog and a guitar during the visit. _

"_Can't we go somewhere less shitty? Like, Target? Its name is full-on ironic." _

"_We're going to Walmart –the nearest Target store is too far to walk and Bro took the van already." Dirk answers as he finishes literally screwing the bolt on whatever the fuck he's making. "We also need to make sure we don't take too long since the asshole might try and escape again." _

_Oh yeah, there's that prisoner Bro kept… He's not a mission but he sure as hell deserved it. The asshole tried to sell smuppets as if it was his product while not paying for most of said smuppets. And not only that, he tried to copy and hack smuppet porn videos for free and sell those too. Bad fucking move._

_So now, the prisoner is all tied up and crying like a bitch that Dave had to throw a dead crow at him. Unfortunately, the prisoner just screamed and cried that Dirk had to use a bullet to shut him up. It was a waste of a bullet, too. _

"_The dude still hasn't given up? Jesus, we give him limited amount of food and water, have a bullet in his foot, and he is still going to make noise on my ironic beauty sleep." _

"_This is why we don't keep prisoners, Dave." Dirk says. He simply gets off his chair and immediately counts the twenties._

"_Can't we just fillet the guy with a shitty sword?"_

"_That's seppuku, Dave. Seppuku is an honorable death." _

"_Cut his dick off?" Dave then gets the ironic list that Bro made._

"_I'm not going to touch his miserable one-inch." Dirk then goes to one of the drawers where the shades are. _

"_Pee on him?"_

"_There might be a chance he'll either drink it or like it." _

_Dave groans as he's finished with his poptart. "What __**can**__ we do? I don't want the guy bitching and moaning another night! We have Bro doing that every weekend!"_

_Dirk pauses and actually thinks about what to do with the prisoner. Good, Dirk always did know what to do to shut people up. Dirk is good at doing that. _

"_I got a good idea," Dirk concludes and then he smirks. "But we need to shop them."_

_Dave dramatically hits his head on the table and groans. "Fuck…"_

* * *

><p><em>Dave <em>_**really**__ hates shopping. Dirk seriously takes too long and if the victim is actually trying to escape then Dave had to waste his energy and another bullet to tie him up again. They went to a toy store near their building just because some dickhead is promoting ponies in a box yet no one knows what exactly inside. And they had to waste time to steal said mysterious toys, each in a box, only to have Pinkie Pies. Dirk didn't like Pinkie Pie that much._

_Dave actually likes Pinkie Pie so he stole a coat and backpack to keep all of them. _

"_Seriously, where the fuck are the Rainbow Dashes!"_

"_Oh come on, we aren't in Walmart just yet! _

_Dirk just huffs and walks quicker. _

"_Seriously, dude, we can just go to the internet and go to EBay and get you that pony. We have plenty of Pinkie Pies to see to other mindless kids around the streets." _

_Dirk keeps walking fast. Of course, Dave tries to catch up but… unfortunately, Dave trips. Goddamn it, Dave really wishes that these triangular shades would be more attached to his face. Dirk is simply walking away to Walmart. Arschloch… _

"_Are you alright, kid?" Luckily, there's some old lady with makeup paint on her and actually picking up shitty shades for him. "You should be more careful and–"_

_Of course, the so-called state of Texas isn't exactly open for red eyes… The lady's face says it all. Fear, and only fear, is in her eyes as she gets a full look of Dave's red eyes. Dave should get used to it –people don't understand irony and red eyes are ironic. The lady is stupid and not ironic and cool as she actually throws the shades at him. _

"_Demon!"_

_The lady, of course, runs away like the bitch she is. _

_Dave simply takes his shades back on and simply pulls on the backpack straps and runs after Dirk. Dirk is still walking fast like nothing happened and grumbling how Rainbow Dash is the most awesome pony and how she is "20% cooler" than the rest of the ponies. Of course, Dirk is still upset about only having Pinkie Pies… _

"_Bro, just chill," Dave begins, "I'll let you even wear and keep the coat –it's blue, see." _

"_It's a hoodie, Dave, not a coat." _

"_Fine, I'll let you even wear and keep the __**hoodie**__."_

_Dirk simply glares at Dave. But, he doesn't say anything as he keeps his Ponyta boy-purse in his hands. Really, Dirk only kept that Ponyta purse just because it had something to do with horses and orange and shit. Dirk can be a damn sourpuss sometimes but hey, so can Dave. But really, Dirk can be such a drama queen. _

"_That better be blue similar to Rainbow Dash…" Dirk actually grumbles._

_Dave just smirks. It was better than nothing and they actually pause and go to an alley where Dave finally takes the coat –hoodie off. Luckily, Dirk doesn't seem to mind that there are Pinkie Pies inside of the hoodie's big pocket. Hey, at least Dave still wears the back filled with Pinkie Pies. Seriously, the show is ironic as shit but Rainbow Dash doesn't exactly make the show that popular if she was all by herself. Dave likes Pinkie Pie since she is ironic –a bouncy pony who loves party and somehow isn't as annoying as one would stereotype, hell yeah she's ironic! _

"_Okay, you remember what Bro put on the list before you shoved it in the victim's mouth?" Dirk asks as he finally stops checking his hair. _

"_Hell yeah," Dave answers with a smirk. He is so proud of himself that he shoved the paper in the victim's mouth. That's cool and ironic in his book. There's that as well as Dave doesn't get to hear the annoying shit moan and groan like a whiny bitch. "There are the simple necessities: apple juice, Fruit Loops, Apple Jacks, orange soda, and of course, poptarts. Then there are the simple ironies: satin, more shitty swords, cotton, puppets, and of course, condoms." _

_Dirk actually chuckles. He has that planning smirk on him. It may be hard to find at times but Dave can easily find it and know it. Dirk is thinking about his idea to shut the victim, yes! _

"_Let's add the list with…" Dirk pretends to ponder just to make it ironic. "We will need a light bulb, some batteries, some wires, a bucket, and maybe two lighters." _

"_Dude, are you trying to make your own torture method, that's ironic as shit!" _

_Dirk tries to shrug coolly as if it's not that impressive. "I try."_

_Of course, Dave tries to get Dirk to talk out what exactly he was going to do with all the shit he wants but Dirk is stubborn as hell. Luckily, with all his attempted tries, the Strider twins are finally at Walmart. Dave still hates Walmart. _

"_Fuck, the freak is back with the weird ass porcupine head…" _

"_Shh! don't let him hear ya! He'll curse ya like the monster he is!"_

_Dave, of course, ignores the two assholes as he is calm and cool as a shitty overpriced cucumber. Who the fuck cares about these guys? They drink the American beer. _

_And the Strider twins enter Walmart. _

_They go to where the cereal and breakfast items are. Dave easily finds the Fruit Loops while Dirk is trying to search for which poptart flavor is the most ironic for them. They both have that ironic plastic basket with them and Dave is now struggling to find the Apple Jacks. Usually Apple Jacks are near the Fruit Loops…_

"_They aren't here." _

_Dave looks up and sees a scowling and acne-covered teen with a big nose and beady eyes. _

"_Whatever you're looking for, they aren't here." _

_Dave just nods and walks away from the cereal area –except he hears it. _

"_Fucking Antichrist..."_

_Dave pauses but he moves away from the cereal area again. Fuck him, he has acne all over him and he doesn't have the Strider looks. Dirk already chose the poptarts. It looks like they are Orange Cream and Frosted Apple Strudel. Good choice. _

_Both the Striders agreed without moving their mouths to find each other's drink. Dirk goes to find the apple juice and Dave goes to soda section. _

"_Mommy, why is he wearing weird shades?" _

"_Don't stare, Tommy. That's very rude." _

"_But he has shades and he's my age!"_

_Dave ignores the commotion going on. Now, would Dirk like Crush, Sunkist, or Fanta Orange? Then again, Dave doesn't see any Crush liters here. And those old Fanta commercials that he saw on internet were ironic. But then again, Sunkist is ironic to Dirk's skin… _

"_Excuse me," Dave turns his head and sees a lady smiling all teeth and eyes filled with fake sweetness. "Could you please remove your shades, my son would like it if you simply remove them."_

_Dave said nothing. He simply turns his head back to carefully choose Fanta Orange or Sun–_

"_I said take them off!" _

_Fuck! Dave didn't expect the lady to be batshit crazy! Sharp manicured nails just scraped some of his precious skin off and of course, the first thing Dave sees without his shades is the forming horror of what she sees. She gasps like she's some damsel in fucking stress and drops the shades as if they're too ironic for her. The boy is just staring wide-eyed while the lady quickly walks away, grabbing her son with her._

"_Mommy, why does he have weird eyes?"_

"_Just walk and don't look, Tommy –keep your head low and __**go**__!" _

_Bitch. Dave simply gets his shades from the funny smelling floor and puts them back on. He'll just get the Sunkist one._

"_Hey Dave, I got you Minute Maid since you seem to finish it in a minute and all that irony really. What did you get?"_

"_Sunkist."_

_Dirk just snorts. Both Striders approve the irony of the product that the other twin has given. Of course, that's the end of the simple necessities list. And really, Dave is thankful that "puppet" they have are overrated nutcrackers, Walmart is too cheap to sell satin, and the cotton is plain shitty. This means there's some time that Dirk doesn't make more smuppets and both Bro and Dirk are going to be careful to do smuppet pile on Dave since there's a chance where Dave will slice all the smuppets in the pile. _

"_Where are the My Little Pony toys?" _

"_Don't know, aren't we going to get the idea items? We both need our ironic beauty sleep." Dave answers coolly. _

_Dirk just huffs and poofs out his cheeks. Dave ignores that there is a Rainbow Dash plush just at the top of the shelf where the Styrofoam words and plastic racecars are. It looks like it's made by an amateur and is a mini type as it is literally and ironically tiny. Dirk is just frustrating himself as he looks for a My Little Pony toy in the girl toys section, filled with Barbie dolls and other pink accessories. _

"_Hey, isn't it that kid with that weirdo guy wearing that hat?"_

"_Yeah, but be careful."_

"_Why's that?"_

"_He's got red eyes."_

"_Red eyes?!"_

"_Yeah, heard he was blessed by Satan and Lucifer and those eyes prove me so."_

"_What about the kid with the spiky hair?"_

"_Nothing really wrong, it's just a pity he has to suffer with a spawn as a brother." _

_Dave's mouth couldn't help but twitch a little. His red eyes are ironic and are the shit. They're just jealous. Striders shouldn't be near shitheads like them. And Dave thanks both the anime gods and Equestrian princesses that Dirk just gives up and goes to where the torture method experiment materials are most likely are. Dave simply follows. _

_Of course, there's no commotion going on, nothing really happened. Dirk is grumbling about wanting his collection of his Rainbow Dash as she is spunky. And fortunately, no one is so uncool that they hate on red eyes. That's good. _

_Later, the Striders just go to the cash register and Dirk is a bit cranky about no Rainbow Dash. The babe-bitch just chews on her gum and just throws the stuff in the plastic bags. The Striders will most likely steal a plastic basket to actually carry some of the shit they have. But of course, Dave's shades don't grow and the babe-bitch with a nice ass looks down and sees their eyes, especially Dave's._

_She simply clicks her gum and glares at Dave. _

"_Momma told me to stay away from sinners." She hisses, looking more like a bitch now. _

"_Well, your mother must have sinned since she had you." Dirk hisses back in English. It felt awesome that Dirk said it, even though it's mostly because he doesn't have his pony and the coat and backpack still had the Pinkie Pies. _

_The now bitch flips Dirk off and charges the total. Of course, Dave and Dirk know what to do. _

"_Your total is –Hey! Get back here you shits! Security!"_

_It's always a rush. Running away from a guy who ate too many doughnuts and only "exercise" he gets is jacking off women with more plastic than bones in their body, it's always a rush. Dave may have let out a laugh as the backpack is simply protecting his back of Tasers while the coat did the same for Dirk. Oh Dave can't wait to be a professional assassin –he can go hard and use a gun! _

_After a few quick rushing minutes, the Striders just stride. Really, that was fun as shit. But of course, Dirk has other ideas…_

"_Seriously, does Texas don't have fans of My Little Pony or something! There were more Bronies in Deutschland than here!"_

"_Dude, let it go –like the overplayed song keeps going on." _

_Dirk glares at him. "Fuck no! Why is that you have your collection of dead things in jars while my collection is complete theoretical!"_

"_Jeez, you're getting a bit bitchy over a pony." _

"_Shut the fuck up, Dave. Bro's been playing favorites on you."_

"_Favorites on __**me**__? Dude, you share his love of smuppets and you actually like the triangular shades shit." Really, it looked like Dirk and Bro were like the same person except Dirk is more into technology and robots than just smuppets. _

"_Maybe it's these new hormones, Bro gave us that talk."_

_Dave sours and frowns. "You mean the one that he used smuppets and scarred the innocence that I have?"_

"_You don't have innocence." Dirk smirks. _

_Dave tries to counter back. "And you have no Rainbow Dash." Ooh, now that's low. Dave immediately regrets it. _

_Dirk immediately frowns. Of course, Dirk is also stubborn as fuck and doesn't take losing as a choice or fate. Dirk actually spins around and shoves a twenty dollar bill to Dave. _

"_Here! Find Rainbow Dash from anywhere!" Dirk shouts before taking Dave's bags and walking away. _

_Jesus, Dirk can act like a douchebag. Then again, his nonexistent Rainbow Dash collection hasn't start at all while Dave has his lovely collection of dead things in jars. Dirk is just jealous and most likely horny in a bad way. And Dave can just get and steal that mini-amateur-plush of Rainbow Dash._

_So, Dave just runs back to Walmart. Dave may hate Walmart but Dirks' his brother. _

_He just needs to find a Rainbow Dash and he can go back home. Dirk has his precious apple juice and Fruit Loops that Dave might never see is he can't find that mini-amateur-plush. Dave just enters Walmart with the fat guard sleeping and no one seems to bother that one kid of a duo is entering Walmart again. _

_Seriously, security sucks –Dave might as well take a knife from the kitchen area before go straight to the toys. _

_Dave runs to where the aisle of toys is and… where the fuck is Rainbow Dash?_

"_Hey kid, you were looking for this?" Dave is glad that he has his shades on or else the mystery dude would see his eyes widen in surprise as well as other things. That would be embarrassing. But yeah, it's the shitty min-amateur-plush of Rainbow Dash. "Come with me and I'll give it to you for free."_

_Dave just shrugs and nods. He simply follows the guy with the mini-amateur-plush… out of the Walmart once again… in an alley and –Dave takes out his knife to stab the guy where his knee and thigh connect. Dave isn't stupid that he doesn't know what a pedophile is. He isn't stupid enough that he would forget to drop the backpack._

"_Ow! You son of a bitch!"_

_Dave makes sure he hits the spot where the knee and the thigh connect again in the other leg. This will keep the motherfucker down. This is way too easy. Dave pulls his knife away but, however, forgets to step back._

_The pedophile tries to turn around even though his legs are paralyzed and worthless. Of course, one of his arms hits Dave right on the face, causing the shades to be slapped of his face and…_

"_Holy shit! You're a fucking demon!" Scheiße, Dave always hates this. "You goddamn freak! You fucking spawn of Satan himself! You try to fucking tease and manipulate me, you fucking–"_

_Dave doesn't let him answer. Dave just slices his face –his eyes to be specific. No one will care about this son of a bitch as no one helping him that a thirteen year old kid just blinded him with a knife. Clear liquid and blood are falling and dripping out of where the eyes were once was. That's not enough. That's not enough for Dave. The son of a bitch needs more punishment…_

_Dave lets it. He lets his anger take over him. He is always sick and tired of people hating and fearing his eyes. Dave couldn't get blue eyes, green eyes, brown eyes, or even orange eyes –he has the freaky __**red**__ eyes. Dave just stabs him. Dave didn't care about the blood splashing and scattering around. Dave didn't care how much of the pedophile's heart is showing, beating fast and desperately, out in the open._

_Dave just stabs and stabs and stabs. The pedophile try to struggle but Dave knows enough moves to continue without any hardship. Dave just stabs and stabs and stabs and stabs. _

"_Dave…?"_

_Dave stops. Is that… Dirk…? What's he doing here? Dave blinks and actually looks at his work. Dave pretty much fails at killing since the heart is still beating while the pedophile is choking on his own blood but is still breathing… Huh… Dave had stabbed him plenty of times around the chest and belly area, how is he still alive? _

_Ugh, there's blood everywhere on him!_

"_Dave… what the fuck happened and why didn't you follow me to the other store?" _

_Dave doesn't say anything. Dave just gets off of the still living pedophile and does a final stab on the guy by stabbing at deep at the crotch area. The fucker groans out in pain and chokes more on his blood while Dave lets the knife stay where it is. _

_Dave then simply walks and finally, he gets the mini-amateur-plush. Fuck, it's dirty. But it will have to do. _

_But before Dave could say anything about getting him a Rainbow Dash or apologizing that it's dirty as fuck, Dirk just hugs him._

"_I don't care," Dirk says as he hugs him tightly. "I was fucking worried, Dave…"_

_Dave sighs and hugs Dirk back. Dirk shouldn't worry. Bro taught him and Dirk enough._

_And he will always be there for Dirk. _

_He's the only one other than Bro who accepts his unnatural red eyes…_

* * *

><p>Dave waits. Okay, he is maybe a bit worried about John. The speaker did call him out and it's been a while.<p>

Of course, Dave doesn't need to worry. He could see John with a couple of "decent" guards guiding him back to his cell.

"So cutie," Dave begins after the guards pushed John back in his cell, "What made the speaker called you out like that?"

John just blushes on the compliment of being called cutie. Well duh, he is cute as fuck. And Dave is pretty good at this seducing shit. John is getting less and less intimidated by him. And Dave is truly enjoying more and more of John's company.

And then, John actually laughs –fuck, it's a cute laugh! It's like comparing puppies with party hats cute and the puppies are losing!

"I actually met one of my friends, his name is Karkat!" John smiles at Dave and Dave simply looks at the blue-eyed cutie. "He's kind of like you!"

Dave couldn't help but blink and then raise an eyebrow at John. "Really? How? Does he have similar tastes in blue-eyed cuties like me?"

John does a wonderful full cheek blush and diverts his pretty blue eyes away from Dave and does this adorable nervous laugh. A finger is tugging on his collar, revealing some lovely skin of his as if purposely teasing the German.

"N-No! Um, h-he's just an albino –t-that's all!"

And now Dave is confused. An albino…?

"Really? An…albino?"

John actually nods. "Yeah! People with a hereditary inability to produce melanin! You know, pale skin, light hair, these cool red eyes! Karkat is an albino like you though his eyes are more candy reddish and yours looks cooler to me."

John just grins while Dave couldn't help but actually gawk at him. Did… John said red eyes are… _cool_…?

John seems to realize at what he said and actually blushes even more.

"U-Um, it's n-not j-just your eyes, I-I'm mean, you're cool everywhere! A-And handsome too!"

John actually looks absolutely flustered and looks away.

However, Dave's eyes aren't the only red on his face. His cheeks seem to feel like they are on fire and his heart is actually swooning. Did John pretty much say that he's okay with red eyes –and that John likes his eyes!

Goddamn it, John. Dave's supposed to seduce him, not the other way around!

* * *

><p><strong>Yup, Dave is falling in love with John. Both of the Striders are falling in love~. :D<strong>

**The Magnetic Witch has chosen her one-shot fanfiction, "The Red Lily of the Violet Valley". The one-shot shall be in the same universe as "The Blue-Eyed Jail Punk" is yet will be taken a little in the past. It shall happen when John is around sixteen, Dave and Dirk are in the legal drinking age of twenty-one, and Jake is most likely in jail. But the attention is not on them.**

**Next chapter, Bathtime. **


	16. Con XII: Bath Time

**I seriously hate school… and then it combines the marching band… –well, I'm fucked. **

**I'm trying to write but with school being a pain, things are going to update slowly for a while…**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XII<strong>_

_**Bath Time **_

* * *

><p>"<strong>ATTENTION ASSHOLES! THE WATER IS FUCKING FIXED! GO CLEAN YOUR FUCKING ASSES OFF!"<strong>

Jake couldn't help but have his face sour at the language used. What if Jade hears that? That would be very nasty to do. Men never seem to care if they're bothering a lady –always so rude…

It's been quite some days since Dirk has met his significant other and John met one of his friends. Jake has seen the blonde beauty of Dirk's with her black lipstick brushed in her smile and fascinating pink eyes. She is a thing of beauty and Jake can't help but envy Dirk and be glad for Dirk too.

A woman like that is unique and Dirk deserves to have a woman to treat him right…

"Say, Strider…" Jake begins. "It's quite the good news for you…"

"Yeah, I seriously need to wash my hair –it's getting oily and dirty like a damn rat's nest."

"Language, Strider…" Jake giggles.

But instead Dirk just stares, he's not doing his usual snort and simply ignoring yet following Jake's words. Those tangerine eyes are simply looking at Jake. Is there something on his face –Jake was so sure that cleaned all the blood off his face…

"Say Jake," Dirk begins to speak out. "Have you… ever been in love?"

Jake blinks at Dirk and frowns. That's a bad question –a very bad question indeed. Jake doesn't like that question. It brings memories –very bad memories. There are memories that Jake doesn't want to remember…

"I have…" Jake answers in a cold voice. "But love, that type of love, is a horrendous fox… a minx perhaps that slices the throat while being at your back…" Jake then stares back at the wide-eyed Strider. "You are fortunate that you have not experience the knife and sharp lies, Strider…"

Then Jake chuckles. He simply gets off his precious top bunk and just pats Dirk's shoulder. It is indeed wonderful that Dirk is so considerate about Jake's life towards erotic love. But Jake can't simply do it again…

"Come now Strider, let us bathe…"

* * *

><p>Jake just chuckles as the scoundrels back away from Jake. People know him. People hate him. People are afraid of him…<p>

That is quite good news…

"I would fancy four shower spots, just at the end…" Jake says with a Cheshire smile. "Unless any of you have a problem with that…"

And no one did. All had learned what happened to the last one who tried…

But it seems Jadey-John is still nervous… Why is that? All the mean scoundrels are going to leave her alone for Jake will make sure of it. And it seems Jake isn't the only one…

"Hey John, you okay?" Dave asks with a frown and eyebrows aligned in worry. "You look like you're a Kind about to go his first ride which is some shitty freefall."

"O-Oh! I-It's nothing!" John tries to wave his hands in reassurance "I-It's just, um, my first time in, you know…"

"Come on, dude," Dave reassures, even petting John's hair. "I won't laugh and I'll fuck up the guys who do."

Jadey-John blushes at those words of reassurance. He must have been happy yet embarrassed at Dave's words. Dave is such a good fellow. John will always need a friend and a grandfather…

"Alright," John sighs out and leans closer to Dave. It seems Dave is also happy and embarrassed as the cheeks on his face turn pinkish red. "I-It's just… it's my first time taking a shower with a bunch of people, that's all…"

Jake couldn't help but chuckle at the cuteness of Jadey-John. It reminds him so much of his precious and sweet Jade when she was getting washed in his bathtub. She definitely loved the bubbles and the apple-scented shampoo… Perhaps if the opportunity is seen, he'll have a bubble bath with apple-scented shampoo with Jadey-John when he gets out of prison and exact revenge on the scoundrel. But not in here…

During the days that Dirk has not been his cellmate, Jake had seen a few terrible, terrible things…

"Alright, everyone listen!" A guard yells out with a firm face and an emotionless frown, "You are Group A, you will have at least half an hour to clean yourself as due to certain space area and the number of you here, there will be turns going on."

There is silence as if no one has the guts to challenge the guard with the mean face. Then again, there is Jake…

"Since there is no rejection to this, you may now get ready to shower." And then the cacophony of clothes being taken begins.

Really, it's just simply people putting the zipper down and taking off his orange uniform off and then their underwear. Jake took a little while though. It's been quite some years of what happened but Jake never forgets. That ex-cellmate of his has been quite a bad memory… But Jake does need a wash and rinse…

Jake takes his prison uniform off, leaving his white boxers covering him. Jake can't help but look around a little just to make sure. He didn't need to have anyone having a fancy for him –fancy and love is misfortunate towards him.

John slowly takes off his uniform, showing such shyness like the pure child he is. Dave is simply watching over John. So Jake shouldn't worry about John, that's good.

Jake simply takes his boxers down and off. Jake can't help but imagine something perhaps. He thought he hears a quiet yet deep moan. Jake looks around a little again. Who was that? Jake will punch and choke him…

"Hurry up! This isn't some ladies' spa!" Oh yes, Jake had heard of spas. It is so nice to have any woman go there and be prepared as she deserves it. None except John deserves a spa treatment. Maybe Dirk needs a spa treatment –he deserves a lot for helping Jake on his revenge.

All of them walk down to the shower room, the hot steam is fogging around with men going to a certain spot and even with some glasses, Jake could see barely anywhere far as men enter to go and wash…

"Striders! I want you two to have at least two people between. We don't need an attempt here."

Dirk simply nods like a gentleman he is while Dave simply rolls his eyes. The two Striders whisper in German. Jake doesn't listen. It's private talk between good family and Jake likes good family and wants to keep it that way.

"Hey Jake, Dave is going to be next to John while you're going to have John to your left and me at your right, is that okay?"

Jake simply smiles and then nods. Sounds like a wonderful plan!

Really, everything is going fine and well as all four enter and have their shower spots. No scoundrel was looking at them –they all know where they shouldn't stick their nose to. Dave took the very end. John is next to Dave and Jake. And Dirk is at Jake's right side. Jake just simply washes himself. He sometimes hums a few catchy tunes to himself that he heard from a few movies. The shampoo smells stale, the soap felt a bit dry, and there's little conditioner in his spot.

Jadey-John is safe while Jake is simply washing. Jake is done using the stale-smelling shampoo and looks at Jadey-John. He's not really doing anything. He's simply staring at something with alert and curiosity. Jake may not truly see Dave and things quite clearly due to the lack of some handy glasses and the foggy steam but he can see the sweet and pure John…

"Come on, John, the thing is going to harm you –if it did, I'll kill it." Jake says in reassurance.

"I-It's nothing… It's… just the soap I guess…"

Jake simply chuckles. The soap can be a bit dry and scratchy for the pure ones.

"Don't worry, John…" Jake reassures. "I'll wash you up…"

John simply has his eyes big and wide. Jake can't really tell what expression John is really making up but Jake will believe it's something good.

But Jake simply takes John's shampoo that smells a bit more nice-smelling. He pours a good amount on his hand, the slow-flowing gray liquid covering part of Jake's forever dirty hands. And of course, Jake scrubs the slightly nice-smelling shampoo into Jadey-John's hair as carefully and nicely as he can.

It's just like washing his darling, sweet Jade…

"Hey! Hurry up you goddamn –Ack!"

Surely, Jadey-John can rinse himself. Jake has to do before continuing is simply punishing this blasted guard for interrupting bath time. It's very, very rude and any male should be punished for such foul act.

"E-English! I-I didn't –ACK!"

What a bad little bugger… The steamy fog is making it a tad bit hard to get a grip but Jake could feel it. He could feel the exhilarating pulse of the guard as it pumps fear. "P-Please English –I-I didn't mean to –Ugh!"

However, Jake stops as a hand is on one of his shoulders…

"Jake, let him go. He didn't mean to and he's sorry." It's Dirk… Why is Dirk stopping Jake? Dirk never did this before… Jake would simply choke the guard into the brim of unconsciousness and sucker-punch him where it's anyone's fair game to do whatever to the useless scoundrel…

But Jake obeys.

He lets go of the guard and watches a little as the coward mouse runs away. Jake will simply go back washing John's hair. Jake turns his head and looks back to Dirk. It seems he is looking away in embarrassment. It is a tad bit embarrassment to stop a punishment but Jake will forgive him. Jake then goes back to Jadey-John.

"U-Um, Jake…" Jadey-John speaks out. Jake is about finished on messaging the conditioner in his hair. "Is there something wrong with dropping the soap?"

Jake blinks and simply chuckles. Jake knew what dear and sweet Jade means. But she didn't need to know. He had heard the awful screams of the new prison bitch before he took a guard's gun and blow a load up to his chunky brains because no one wanted to protect a pawn in a drug organization. Jadey-John has guards. She will not be harmed of the horror of the prison life.

Jadey-John simply doesn't need to know.

"Don't worry, John, Dave will help you when you drop that slippery stone."

Dave grunts. Jake can't help but giggle a little. It sounded so much like a moan but that can't be. Dave wouldn't simply dare! Dave is so nice to John that he would never touch him like that!

But then again, the Striders are weird and quite awkward in pursuing a thing like sex.

Both the Striders quickly left the shower room for some peculiar reason…

Jake wonders why.

But then again, Jadey-John is safe and clean from bath time.

That's good…

* * *

><p><strong>And school and marching is clearly sucking my soul…<strong>

**My legs are hurting, throat is drying a lot, and my eyes seem to want to close and let my forehead hit a desk. It is times like these that you can't help but think why I stayed in marching band. But then again, there are benefits and positives but simply my legs are hurting so much that I can feel the blood flowing through them…**

**Hopefully I get to finish a one-shot that is for a great friend named Halley. It's also my first attempt on writing smut fanfiction but hopefully I shall prevail!**

**I will try to finish other one-shots but I will also try to complete a chapter in my multi-chapter fanfictions. But really, I want my summer back and have my legs feel numb…**


	17. Con XIII: Realization

**Thanks for the support, guys. I really need it. It's getting better I think and marching band going to be over soon. **

**However, there are marching competitions and school tests still going on through my life. But I will try to update Why Love Romano, write a one-shot of someone named Tikkie-chan, the one-shot of** **The Magnetic Witch, and other things. But I shall finish these things! I am going to get energy and make a schedule on doing specific fanfiction on days or weeks depending on my school schedule and how much my AP classes will beat me up. **

**And again, thank you everyone for your support. Hope you enjoy! **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XIII<strong>_

_**Realization**_

* * *

><p>Dirk blames his obnoxious twin brother and Roxy for making him think about Jake. He was just fine not thinking about his feelings for Jake and then the two made him think too much about it.<p>

Dirk really does want no relationship going on but he does enjoy Jake's company –even if he is a bit crazy with his habit of biting his own fingers and has an obsession with his deceased niece. But he does have some good points…

Jake is actually honest, loyal, is a great listener, and does have his weirdly cute moments. Dirk does like those traits in a guy –but this isn't shitty eHarmony.

The speaker yells out that the showers are finally fixed and Dirk is fucking relieved. Really, one of Dirk's primary things to do after getting out of this shithole is simply buy a shit ton of Haargel.

"Say Strider," Jake giggles, breaking the silence, "It's quite the good news for you…"

Dirk immediately agrees. He can't wait for warm water and washing himself –especially his hair. "Yeah, I seriously need to wash my hair –it's getting oily and dirty like a damn rat's nest."

"Language, Strider…" Jake giggles cutely. Dirk can't help but just stare at his cellmate. Usually, Dirk would roll his eyes and simply stare at the wall but Dirk stares at Jake this time. Jake isn't wearing his common and seemingly usual crazy smile but something more… acquitted.

Jake doesn't have any blood on him to reveal that the green-eyed male is indeed attractive and cute –more than a weird kind of way. His skin is contrast to Dirk's skin, tan with a few scars here and there that are noticeable. His teeth are white though Jake does have an overbite, especially when he smiles big and wide. And his green emerald eyes shimmer with craziness as well as innocence.

"So, Jake," Dirk couldn't help but ask out a thing that's been going on the back of his mind. "Have you… ever been in love?"

Jake then looks at Dirk, blinking once before frowning.

Dirk is completely surprised. The look on Jake's face… it is complete anger and wrath of betrayal. He had seen those looks before. Those looks had scared him when he was a beginner.

"I have…" Jake answers. The atmosphere and air turning very cold… "But love, that type of love, is a horrendous fox…" Jake looks away with his eyes still narrowed and mouth in a snarled growl. "A minx perhaps that slices the throat while being at your back…" Jake then has his narrowed eyes on Dirk. "You are fortunate that you have not experience the knife and sharp lies, Strider…"

Jake then chuckles.

But Dirk can't help but think that there's more than just his niece's death that put him over the edge. Jake only talks about Jade but that doesn't mean that there isn't more. This makes Jake more interesting to know…

"Come now Strider, let us bathe…"

* * *

><p>It's almost ironic that Dirk didn't enjoy the much needed shower. Then again, his thinking about his green-eyed cellmate has been distracting him. Jake's back has the most scars but the biggest one is on the front side. Dirk never asked since one unlucky bastard did and got his face all bloody and hurt with all of English's punches.<p>

But damn, Dirk couldn't help but moan a little when he sees English's ass. Holy shit, that ass! Dirk had heard Jake's ex-cellmate made a pass on him and he can see why.

That ass is glorious –even better than the smuppet ass!

But Dirk inwardly smacked himself. No, he is not falling in love with Jake. Jake wouldn't reciprocate any romantic feelings since his answer and face says it all.

Jake can love –just more towards friend and family type. He proves it by helping John shower and really, it's cute –in a weird kind of way of course. Then, Dirk enjoys the warm water and shampoos his hair. It was fucking heaven until the guard came…

Dave was distracted by his cellmate, his cellmate seems to be too scared to do shit, and it seems Dirk is the only one that can talk to English without a 100% chance of getting punched and/or choked. Jake listened.

And that seemingly is about it. But Dirk's body doesn't seem to think so. His eyes seem to keep looking at Jake. Whether it's on his face, his chest, his back, or his nice ass, Dirk keeps checking and looking at Jake. Dirk seriously dislikes Dave and Roxy for what they are doing to his mind. Dirk does like Jake but he really didn't want to have his feelings to be romantic. Dirk may like men but he doesn't crushing on every guy he meets.

Jake doesn't need unnecessary romance and the escape plan needs to be perfect –no distractions.

So Dirk left early. Even though Dirk wants to enjoy showering, he needs to be perfect –no distractions.

So Dirk left early. Even though Dirk wants to enjoy showering, he needs space and time to think from getting distracted with what his feelings are for Jake. And then Dirk sees his twin.

"Dave, what the fuck are you doing?" Dirk inwardly smirks when Dave actually jumps in surprise. "Aren't you going to seduce Egbert –which by the way, it is a stupid fucking idea."

However, Dave doesn't say anything. He actually blushes and looks away. But then Dirk sees the…"problem".

"…Are you hard?!"

"Wow Dirk, don't be looking at my junk –I don't do incest like some of your anime porn. It's like the Japanisch try to find ways to fuck up people's mind and weird ass fetishes with the shit they come up with. I mean, there's Boku no Pico –which is more fucked up than regular shit that comes out of Japan. And first of all–"

"Dave."

Immediately, Dave stops his useless rambling. He looks away and sighs.

"Bro, I think I have the hots for John…" Dave grumbles out the answer. And Dirk is immediately surprised and confused. Fortunately and unfortunately, Dave answers again. "He actually likes my eyes…"

…Heilige Scheiße…

There is silence between the two Germans. Dirk knows about the thing about Dave's eyes. Really, the one certain thing to piss Dave off is insulting his ironic eye color. Dave is known as the Der Rote Ritter due to his eyes and having been coated and drenched with blood more than some Crusader in a massacre battle. Dave can turn into a complete sadist because of his sensitivity to his eyes. And for John to liking his eyes, he got a free one-way ticket to Dirk's stupid brother's heart.

And this is why Dirk doesn't want Dave seducing John. Dave is most likely going to hurt himself. And Dirk is proven right.

"Dude, he's just going to be you boytoy, _remember_?" Dirk tries to convince. He seriously doesn't want cliché high school drama now. "Prison isn't some ironic romance hangout or eHarmony. And you're supposed to be plain seducing him –not loving him."

Dave glares at Dirk. "Shut the fuck up, Dirk. As if you're actually following your own rule!"

Dirk glares back at Dave. "I'm not trying to seduce Jake, asshole."

"Oh really, then why do you care about him so much, _huh_? You even gave him a cigarette –you never give cigarettes to anyone! You can't be bull-shitting me with any excuse."

"It's just fucking one."

"Look, I may be full out butt-naked with a raging boner right now but I see complete embarrassing bullshit right in front of me." Dave sneers. "You're in love with that psycho and you know it. You keep looking at him with goo-goo eyes, keep getting up on his space as if he's some ironic expensive shampoo product, and you're smiling! Fuck, you're smiling more than the time we got Rainbow Dash things for your thirteenth birthday!"

Dirk couldn't help but blush at this.

Is it really that obvious? And is it really that Dirk acts towards Jake? Holy fuck, Dirk is acting like a lovesick teenage girl.

But before Dirk could say anything, a bell rings.

"**ATTENTION OTHER ASSHOLES! GROUP B IS FUCKING UP!"**

Dave curses out, grabs his jumpsuit, and flash-steps away somewhere. Dirk immediately puts back on his boxers and jumpsuit. Shit, the guards and convicts are coming. Dirk looks for little objects, things he can take with him in his cell. Luckily, with great Strider flash-step, Dirk gets a few things before anyone arrives.

"Hello motherfucker…" Dirk tenses up a little but coolly looks over. "You're that motherfucking brother, aren't you…That motherfucking demon…!"

Dirk could only glare as convicts and guards exit out. Gamzee Makara is a complete asshole that Dave had to share his cell with. He was from some rich tyrant family but do to a jury and a damn good lawyer, he's got sent here. But Gamzee isn't thinking of settling down and giving up.

"Get the fuck off, Missgeburt," Dirk growls. I can beat the living Scheiße out of you."

Gamzee chuckles, "Naw motherfucker, I wouldn't try to motherfucking hurt you. No one motherfucking messes with English's boytoy."

Dirk was ready to make a cool and ironic comeback –but someone else went up instead.

"He is no "boytoy", _Makara_." Jake growls. "You stay away from Dirk before I help myself by ruining that rat-scratched face of yours."

However, Gamzee smirks. "Don't need to be all up angry, I'll leave him alone… Just motherfucking saying Hi is all." And Gamzee just leaves.

Dirk couldn't help but feel suspicious. What the fuck is Gamzee thinking? He usually wants a punch and a fight from anyone. And that was a goddamn short conversation. Why the hell would Gamzee just enter and then exit?

"Dirk… are you alright…?"

Dirk stops thinking about Gamzee's suspicious behavior and looks at Jake. His cellmate is giving off a worried look on his face. Dirk can't help but blink and look at Jake. Jake never made a worried look on his face. And fuck, Jake looks… cute… in a normal kind of way…

Dirk looks away. "Ja, I'm fine…"

Jake immediately smiles.

"That is good… You're quite a treasure to be with…"

And Jake just had to say that. Dirk could feel his face burning, his heart racing, and have himself have a complete realization.

Heilige Scheiße, Dirk is anime schoolgirl in love with Jake…

"It would be better if you had clothes on though, Jake…" Dirk can't help but say.

Dirk seriously doesn't need to get a boner after realizing this obvious shit.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for people who are waiting but I am still busy with school and marching band. I shall catch up with everything and will be back on fanfiction. <strong>

**Hopefully you enjoy this update while I'm gone. I'll see you guys soon, I promise!**


	18. Con IV: Stimulation

**About two more weeks until marching band is over and done! I luckily had time to do this chapter! **

**Thanks for waiting! And thank you all for supporting me! Soon, I'll be updating more frequently!**

**And thank you jared. neveling for helping me fix this!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XIV <strong>_

_**Stimulation**_

* * *

><p>Dave tried. He had fucking tried to make it his way. Oh why would the anime gods do this to him…They have given him a blue-eyed cutie who likes red eyes but doesn't want to have his cute and perky ass fucked by Dave's wurst.<p>

Seriously, Dave almost popped a boner when they were stripping off. He had to religiously think about smuppets when John shows his glorious naked ass out. Dave is so tempted to pat and squeeze that ass. But Dave is a Strider. Striders don't do that shit without the person simply 100% offering them.

But why, oh why, has the anime gods tempt him with such a fine cutie!

He does shower and wash himself successfully but he had to abscond the hell out. His boner has arrived.

Seriously, Dave tried his best to think shitty boner-killing stuff. He thought about smuppets, shitty swords, and Dirk actually getting laid. But Dave then remembers Jake looks quite similar-looking to John… Dave exits out of the bathroom.

Seriously, if imagining Dirk's sex life somehow doesn't cease his boner, Dave knows he is completely fucked and screwed…

Dave goes into one of the stalls and slams the door. He takes a deep sigh out and sits on the toilet. Fuck, it's been way too long… Staying in this shithole has been getting onto Dave again. Of course, he can't just have sex.

But there is no way his boner is going to go limp anytime soon…

Dave sighs out again.

Well, there is the old fashioned masturbation…

Luckily, Dave has his jumpsuit and boxers with him. And really, Dave is sitting on a cold as fuck toilet seat naked with a raging boner and his clothes on the semi-wet floor…

Eh, he might as well jack off.

Dave licks his open palm, making sure he gets saliva on his fingers just in case. One swipe is good enough. Dave lets his hand finally grasp his boner.

He lets out a quiet and quick curse because damn it's cold. Then he sighs out. It's been way too fucking long…

He slowly moves his hand up and down, warming for what's about to come. He first imagines John's cute and adorable face. His pretty blue eyes would be looking at his eyes with fascination and no fear at all. He would be smiling with those front teeth of his poking out a little. His smooth-looking hands would be touching his face with innocent admiration. And the cutie would take his sweet time to kiss him.

And Dave guesses that John would be the shy type, not going any further than a closed kiss. And Dave would help~.

Dave would have one of his hands teasing "brush" the spine of John's back. John would shiver –maybe even groan by the touch. And Dave wouldn't stop there. He would let that hand travel even more south. Fuck, he will grab one of those plush cheeks and give it a squeeze. Fuck, Dave can imagine the surprised squeak from the cutie. Dave would make sure he would rub and caress that ass cheek until John just moans from it.

Dave gets quicker with his pace.

Dave would lick those lips of his, wanting entrance for the cutie's cavern. John would most likely resist a little but if Dave plays his cards right, he'll get John to open his mouth. And Dave would explore that cavern, making John hot and bothered. And Dave would use his other hand to rub John's clothed crotch. Would John be a mess after a few touches? Oh fuck, Dave hopes so.

Dave jerks harder.

Dave would use his flash-step to strip himself and John, probably surprising John. But Dave would comfort and coo at him, making sure John is calm enough to continue. They would kiss again, do heavy make-outs that they become sloppy, and have their hands all over each other. Things would easily be heated up. John would marvel his Strider body, unable to keep his hands off of Dave. His blue eyes looking all over and completely loving every inch of him.

Dave would explore John's body. He would lick, nip, kiss, and bite every sensitive spot he could find. John would try to be quiet with the most likely excuse of his moans being embarrassing. And Dave loves a challenge. Dave would pleasure the fuck out of John and whisper filthy and perverted things as well as praises to make John happy. And maybe John will do something nice for Dave~.

Dave puts his hand over his mouth, making sure the moan isn't out loud. He really doesn't need a douche prisoner to hear any Strider moans.

Dave imagines that they would do the missionary position. John would most likely close his legs in shyness but Dave would spread them to see the goods. His dick would be pulsing hard and erect. And his hole, holy Scheiße, Dave can imagine that tight hole just waiting for his cock.

Dave would have his fingers completely wet with lube. He would use his other hand to jerk off John's dick as he readies to put his fingers in. Dave puts in one finger, then two, and finally three.

Dave would massage and press John's prostate until John can't take it anymore. John would scream and moan for Dave to fuck him and–

_SLAM!_

Unfortunately, Dave couldn't finish his imagination sex with John. Since John is right in front of him. John pretty much made his entrance by slamming the door both open and closed quite loudly…

And now, Dave is fully naked and erected while the real John is right in front of him, fully clothed and wide-eyed. Well Scheiße, Dave is showing his goods in the worst way possible –well, at least his junk is still attached to his body…

"Uh…" John croaks out.

Well, this is awkward –it's not even ironic. Seriously, John is looking at his dick and Dave is doing nothing. He is seriously getting blue balls right now while John is just staring.

But before anything can happen or Dave has a chance to say a witty flirt, both in the stall hear a crash. And then there's the voice that Dave never wants to hear…

"MOTHERFUCKER! WHERE THE MOTHERFUCKING ARE YOU!"

What the fuck is that ICP wannabe doing here?

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

And why is Makara banging on the stalls for?

"YOU CAN'T MOTHERFUCKING GET AWAY FROM ME, MOTHERFUCKER!" The ICP wannabe yells.

"Yo Makara!" Dave yells out, immediately surprising John, "I'm taking a piss here! Get the fuck out!"

There was silence until that stupid wannabe voice came again, closer, "Strider… you're motherfucking here…?" Dave could hear that dick-ass smirk forming on that damn face. "Hey, have you heard a motherfucker coming in here anytime soon?"

Dave easily fakes a scoff and lies. "Nein, I've been literally pissing alone till you came here and be a Missgeburt around the stalls."

Makara doesn't say anything but he's definitely not satisfied with the answer as he stomps away from the bathroom and slams the door shut. Makara is such a fucked up fucker…

"Um…" Oh Scheiße, Dave forgot about John. As much as Dave likes the blush on his cute face, Dave is butt-naked with an erection. At least John looks away when Dave does a fake and loud ironic cough. "So…"

"Dude, es ist okay," Dave tries to reassure –even though the awkwardness is affecting him as well. "Could you exit though –you know, let a bro jerk his Schwanz."

Somehow, John blushes even a deeper shade of red. "O-Oh! Y-Yeah, I-I'm sorry –I-I really should, um, go!"

John struggles to open the stall door with shaky hands. Dave tries to look away since this awkwardness and embarrassment is even affecting him.

It felt way too long for John to finally open the door and awkwardly and slowly leave. But before John fully leaves, John says something.

"T-Thanks for helping me, Dave… A-And, um, nice junk!"

_SLAM!_

…Holy fucking Scheiße on a dick!

Dave could feel his face turning way too red and is pumping way too much blood up north. Fuck, Dave really wants him! John had looked at his wurst and complimented it!

Holy fuck, holy Scheiße, holy fucking Scheiße!

Dave couldn't help but groan at what he's feeling. And then… he became surprised.

Because fuck, Dave just came by John's words.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you guys for reading –I'll try to update as soon as possible! Especially after marching band season is over!<strong>

**And spoiler alert, the next chapter is a Pro of Jake! :D**


	19. Pro V: Daddy

**Thank you guys for waiting as of now, I am marching band free. :D**

**We went to state championship and got third place. It's disappointing but at least the band is getting a challenge and I had fun marching my last show. But now I have all this free time! It feels so weird! **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro V: Daddy<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Jake likes school, especially when it's drawing time. <em>

_His teacher always said he has a big imagination –whatever that means. _

_The teacher is a Miss and smells very pretty and is really nice. She likes his teeth and drawings and gives him candy that tastes like pumpkin! Jake wants to draw animals but she did say to draw your family. And Jake does since she's so pretty and nice._

"_Uh, what are you doing, Jake?" A classmate of his asks. _

"_My family."_

_Jake has a lot of crayons with him and tries to draw all the pretty girls next to Daddy as much as he can. And Jake makes sure to add all the sparkly stuff around since Daddy always give magic powder to weird-looking people. _

"_Uh, that's a lot of, uh, aunties you have." _

"_They're not aunties."_

_The classmate blinks and looks at Jake. "They're not aunties? Then what are they?"_

"_I don't know." Jake answers the truth. He really doesn't know who those pretty girls are. But all of them are so nice! _

"_Uh, what's the box on your mommy's hand?"_

"_It's not a box, it's my brother." _

"_I didn't know you have, uh, a brother."_

"_Daddy said he was going to take me to an adventure and that my brother was too young to join." _

"_Uh, then where's your mommy?"_

_Jake stops drawing. He tries to think hard but he's too tired and hungry. His breakfast was a candy bar and then Daddy told him to go to school. Jake really hopes Daddy can defend himself from the ghosts. The ghosts scream and haunt during the night. And they make that creaking noise too! _

_But Jake continues to draw now. He'll have to wait for snack time, nap time, and lunch time! He can't wait! _

* * *

><p><em>Jake tries to avoid the sleeping man that seems weird and stinky. He always has a weird-looking bottle next to him. Jake really doesn't like him when he goes back to school. It made Jake feel scared that he's all alone –even though Daddy said he's old enough to do so. <em>

_But the other kids got their parents and cars…_

_But Jake reminds himself that Daddy said he was special. Jake is special. Jake is grown-up. Jake is something called mature. And Daddy did yell at him for whining the fuck about it. _

_And it's –it's like an adventure! _

_Jake likes adventures! _

_Jake runs a little bit faster though. The man is still scary to him. And Jake really wants to show the picture to Daddy! _

"_H-Hey kid! W-When is that Daddy of yours selling again?" _

"_I don't know," Jake answers. "I think he'll sell the powder when he gets it." _

"_T-Tell him I n-need it soon!"_

_Jake nods and continues to go to his home. Mister Skinny is a weird fellow who twitches a lot but he does have pretty stories that Jake likes to listen. The alien ones are his favorites!_

_Jake goes upstairs, all four of them, and finds his home, room 20. _

_He finds the key on the bear trap and unlocks the door. The bear trap always scares him since he saw that one guy have his hand crushed. Daddy told Jake hoe to get the key so Jake is glad he learned. _

_Jake opens the door and makes sure he drops the key right on the center of the bear trap. He then can smell the pretty smell called perfume. And Jake smiles, here's another nice lady. _

"_Good afternoon, ma'am!" Jake greets. The lady blinks in surprise upon seeing Jake. "How are you?"_

"_Um, I'm fine I guess," She answers. "T-This is the right place, isn't it? I'm here for, um, my job."_

_Jake nods. There were a lot of ladies who asked the question and Jake isn't surprised –confused but not surprised. _

"_Oh, um…" The lady looks around and then spots Jake's picture. "That's a nice picture, kid. I like how you,uh, used a lot of color…" _

_Jake smiles bigger. That is such a lovely compliment! "Thank you, ma'am! I tried my best!"_

_The lady nods and then she smiles. "You're pretty polite, kid. Keep doing that and you'll find a nice lady… But make sure you take care of her, alright."_

"_Okay!" _

_The lady then looks at her phone. "You sure this is the right place? My, um, customer gave me a good tip and he said I can't be late though…"_

_Jake nods his head again. He then puts his drawing on the counter. He looks around the kitchen area to find a candy bar. Hopefully there's still some left. That's his breakfast and dinner! _

"_Hey kid, are you hungry or something? There are leftovers in the fridge." _

"_Daddy said those are his and I can't eat his food." Jake answers. He looks and sees… Eureka! He finds a bar! "I'll be going to be soon. I hope you'll be okay with all the ghosts." _

"_Ghosts?" _

"_Yup! Ghosts! They keep haunting in the night and they are scary too!" _

"_O-Oh…" The lady said, "Um, is that really all you're going to eat?"_

"_Of course! I have to save food since it is limited!" Jake answers. "If I eat too much, I'll have none tomorrow!" _

_The lady stays silent after that…_

* * *

><p>"<em>Ooh! Ah! AH! Ooooooh~!" <em>

_Jake cowers even more. The ghosts are back again… Jake really doesn't like the gosts…_

"_Oh! Oh God! Oh! Ah!"_

_Jake really hopes the lady isn't hurt…_

"_Oh God! Oh! Ah! Oh God! Ah! Ah! Ah! AH!"_

_Jake covers himself more with his blanket. The ghosts are getting louder and so is the creaking! He really wishes they would stop soon. But the ghosts never do… They're so mean and scary…_

"_AH! AH! AH! Yes! Yes! Right there! YES!"_

_Jake sniffles. He really hopes the ghosts stop bothering him… He's so scared… But he doesn't want to cry, the ghosts will get him. Daddy said so. Daddy said the ghosts will get him if he doesn't stay silent. The ghosts will get him and kill him. Jake doesn't want to die…_

"_Yes! Yes! YES! AH! Ah! Ah! Ooooooooh~!"_

_Jake shuts his eyes. He really wishes Daddy would save him._

_He's so scared…_

* * *

><p><em>Jake yawns. The alarm hurts his ears but he has to wake up or else he'll be late for school. But he's so hungry and tired…!<em>

_Then Jake picks up something –he smells something! It smells really, really good! It's not perfume good but it's good! Jake really likes it! He gets off the floor and runs toward the smell and sees the lady. _

"_Hey kid, I-I made some toast and eggs." The lady said. "I don't like it when kids are starving –reminds me of my kids –so here, some breakfast."_

_Jake blinks and looks at the food that's somehow breakfast. It looks so good! It's like something Jake has never seen before! It smells so good! Jake can't believe he's going to eat this! Jake starts eating it really, really fast. It tastes so good!_

"_W-Wow kid, didn't thank you'd eat it that fast… It was a bit burnt, you know… I can make more if you want."_

_Jake feels so overjoyed. He never gets seconds –except in snack time! And Jake feels less hungry than he usually does and he really likes this kind and pretty lady!_

_But before Jake could say yes, he hears Daddy. Jake couldn't help but be scared. Daddy is possessed by a ghost again. Jake shuts his eyes and covers his ears. He could hear the ghost yelling at the lady –even hitting her. _

_Jake tries to keeps his eyes shut really tight and his ears fully covered. It helps from having the ghost hit him and yell at him. Daddy said so. _

_But it seems it wasn't enough. Jake could feel a lot of pain as he was punched out of the chair and hit his head on the floor. There was darkness and sleepiness after that…_

…

_And then there's silence… There was something annoying going on inside Jake's head and it finally stops… _

_Jake opens his eyes and sees… no one. _

_The ghost does that to Daddy. And then Jake sees something bad and sad. _

_The pan used to make breakfast was gone._

_The breakfast that Jake didn't finish is mushed and stomped on. _

_And his drawing is all torn up…_

_Yeah…The ghost must have done that to Daddy too…_

_But that doesn't stop Jake from sniffling and feeling sad. _

_And doesn't stop him from crying full out in an empty home with only echoes of his sobs there with him…_

* * *

><p>"Grandpa…"<p>

"Yes, Jade? What's wrong?"

"Why do I call you Grandpa? You're really, really young for a grandpa! Why can't I call you, um… oh, I know, Daddy!" Jade asks with such sweet innocence.

Jake frowns and looks away.

"Because Jade," he answers, "Daddy is such an insult to me…"

* * *

><p><strong>Hopefully this helps you understand more about Jake and how is now. As I said before, psychos are not born –they are made. <strong>

**And I would like to thank all the reviewers with their encouraging comments, especially Resilverin. He (I think you are a male, please correct me if I'm wrong) made really long reviews which I really like reading. It simply puts a smile in my face and helps my spirits go up. Thank you! It helped with marching band and cheers me up! I wish you the best of luck that your account doesn't get stolen and hacked as well as become a professional porn writer. And if you need some help with writing porn, you can find "The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic" by Quinn Anderson –it really helps! **

**And there are some of you who are questioning what importance Jane is to the story. And I shall answer that in the next chapter, which is another Pro. **


	20. Pro VI: Jane

**Of course, before winter break, school gives me the hardest and most amount of work…**

**Seriously, who wants to do a test on the last day before winter break? **

**But I would like to thank those who gave me a review while testing and homework was obliterating me. I especially like ArlkatThePillowfighter for his review. I thank you for posting what you want to say and I hope you feel better. I don't know if this helps or not but you're not alone and life may be a bitch but at least it has a good side somewhere. There are good traits in life and people shouldn't ignore and forget so soon. **

**Hopefully this Pro can be something cheerful from the previous one. I hope you guys enjoy. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro VI: Jane<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>John couldn't help but giggle at his boyfriend's overreaction.<em>

"_GOD-FUCKING-DAMN IT, JOHN! I SWEAR IF YOU PUT A FUCKED UP BUCKET WITH HELL-COLD WATER AGAIN, I WILL FUCKING END YOU!"_

_And maybe, just maybe, John is laughing his ass off. _

_Of course, Karkat comes up to him and hits John on the shoulder. Karkat can be so cute when he's angry. _

"_I thought we were going the fuck out to find that mystery sister of yours." _

"_We are. I just thought it would be cute if you were all wet, that's all." John cooed while wiggling his eyebrows. _

_Karkat immediately blushes full red at this. John snorts at the adorableness of what he is seeing. Luckily, Karkat looks away with those pretty red eyes of his. John has got to admit, one of the greatest traits that Karkat has are those red eyes of his. They're more like rubies instead of a freakish trait. He doesn't understand why people would dislike red eyes. _

"_Fine –just fucking fine! You better have some good change of clothes in this stupid mansion of yours." Karkat grumbles. _

"_Don't worry! I bought a whole wardrobe in the guest bedroom next to the movie room! I felt "sorry" when my clothes were too big on you last time!"_

"_Fuck off, Crocker!" _

_John just snickers as he could see Karkat's ears fully red. Luckily, there's still bit of time for the car to arrive!_

_John should take at least three cellphones just in case. Who knows when a group of kidnappers might take his jacket away! And the shoe one is very important to carry since it has a GPS in it! _

_And John can't help but feel nervous. He still couldn't believe he has a sister –a half-sister! I mean, it's not from the same mother as John had help hacking the birth certificate. And Jane's mother was revealed to be an ex-maid working here with further hacking. _

_And what shocked John the most is that his sister, his half-sister, is older than him. And that confuses John! Didn't Dad love Mom? Even though John can't remember who she was or what she looked like, Dad shouldn't have cheated on her! _

_John sighs and sits on the blue leather couch. Thank God, Dad is on a business trip or else he wouldn't have a chance to go outside and find his sister! The servants try to convince him not to do it but John loves outside! _

_There are people who actually talk to him, people who actually want to play games with him, people who actually insult him, and people who are fully willing to fight him!_

_Dad did say not to pick a fight with anyone but John is technically defending himself. That's the only way John could truly fight with someone. But maybe there's more. But hey, at least it got John some great fights by simply "defending himself". _

_But then again, Dad did say that if he tried to pick up a fight, he'll end up like one of his grandparents…_

"_You can stop fucking waiting, the clothes you picked are fucking decent." _

_Karkat luckily got out with the really nice clothing. John couldn't help but hump off the blue leather couch. Great, to the car! _

"_We're not using that big ass limo, are we?"_

"_Nope! The van!"_

_Karkat just rolls his eyes. The limo is nice but it is way too conspicuous. And really, Karkat does not want to be reminded that John is beating him in Call of Duty and Mario Kart. Especially in Mario Kart… _

* * *

><p>"<em>Woohoo! First place again!" John yells out. Karkat really despises the guy who installed a television in the van, especially with the video game controllers in the damn van…<em>

"_I fucking hate you and your fucking blue shell…" Karkat grumbles. _

_John giggles and then kisses Karkat on the cheek. Karkat can be so "purr-cious" at times! Maybe he'll "accidently" lose the next time they play Mario Kart. _

_But now John's nervous! Jeez, he's actually going to meet his sister! _

"_John, you don't have to do this…" Karkat tries to comfort. _

_But John had to! He really wants to meet her! And he really hopes that they could hang out and maybe even do some great pranks together or at each other. I mean, there is Dad but John wants someone who can be there and not so… busy… _

_And really, being an only child is lonely…_

_But John still can't believe that his sister lives… here. _

_It's… a building with stairs… and mold… Do people actually stay in these places?_

_John takes a deep breath in… and a deep breath out…_

_Okay, he's sort of ready-ish…_

…_Well, he might as well get over it!_

_John enters the building and sees a chubby woman with a lot of makeup on her face. Huh, it must be the landlady that Karkat had talked to him about. _

"_Excuse me, miss, are you the landlady?" _

_The chubby woman gives an interesting smile and speaks in a deep and scratchy voice –a really, really __**deep**__ and __**scratchy**__ voice. "Why, of course I am, sugar. How can I help a __**man~**__ like you around?" _

_John smiles back. He is crept out but Dad did teach him manners. "I just want to know if Miss Jane Rojo Crocker is here at the moment." _

_The woman immediately frowns. "Oh, you mean that Mexican? I swear, Juanita isn't someone you would want to talk to, handsome. Once the government actually gives a damn, they'll send many and her illegal ass out to where her kind came from!" _

_John can't help but frown. But he still has to be polite…_

"_She is Puerto Rican, ma'am. And I would like to meet her."_

_The woman frowns even deeper. "Are you so sure you want to meet someone like her? Her daddy didn't love her or that deadbeat mother of hers since that woman had had her grubby hands on some rich man who is barely alive!" _

"_Yes, __**ma'am**__, I would like to meet Jane. Please tell me what room she's in."_

_The woman scowls and sucks on a half-finished cigarette. John really doesn't like her. He really wants to meet his sister –not some mean and grumpy lady who doesn't know the difference between Mexicans and Puerto Ricans! _

"_She isn't here right now. The mother bitch finally took a fucking dirt nap and now that wetback is following some sort of shitty will. You can find some of her shit if you can find any in the fourth floor, room thirteen."_

_John can't help but feel shocked. Jane left?! But why? Now how is John going to find her? He can't hire another hacker, John barely got out of trouble when Dad was questioning him. And Jane is practically invincible with the lack of data there is! _

_John can't help but now feel defeated. He sighs out. He really did want to meet his sister. Family is family. John hopes he can actually meet her and do things together like a family. They could have done so much pranking…_

_But first… _

"_Excuse me, how much is this building anyway?"_

"_Give me a thousand bucks and it's all yours, sweetheart." _

_John smiles and leaves the place. Oh he can't wait to get another suitcase filled with money and buy the building. The orphanage is getting a bit too full! And with the buildings around, he could get a nonprofit organization with the right tools! _

_It cheers John a bit as he imagines how much he can get the children to have a brighter future and if he plays his cards right, he can open a school! And John can finally go to school too! _

"_So, where is she?" Karkat asks as he stops leaning on the car._

_John gives a saddened and shakes his head. He could easily hear Karkat curse under his breath. It's nice that Karkat cares and understands. _

"_Yeah, it turns out she moved out of here." John answers, "And I'm going to be back here with a suitcase or maybe just a bundle. This place could be… different." _

_Karkat rolls his eyes. "Crocker, don't you forget some of us are not made of fucking money like your dad." _

_John giggles. He's still trying to get used to the fact he is very well off. Ever since John sneaked out of his house, John learned more and more of the outside world. One, he is definitely allergic to peanuts. And two, John is a homosexual. But none of that will help find Jane…_

"_Come on Karkat, we can get some ice cream while I can kick your ass on Call of Duty." _

"_Fuck you, Crocker!" _

"_Hehe, love you too." John replies. He can always try again next time._

* * *

><p>"Joooooohn! Where are you taking me?"<p>

"Nowhere dangerous."

"Come on John, this blindfold is making me itchy!"

"Better than poison oak!"

"I swear John, if you're trying to get revenge just because I won the April Fools war, I–"

"We're here~!"

Jane finally takes off the blindfold and immediately gasped at the sight of her birthday present. John actually gave her a building as a present.

"Oh my god, John…" Jane chokes out. "Now I feel guilty for giving you a less present."

"It's not less! You got Nicholas Cage to sign at least one of them! A Con Air poster and DVD –that's so kind of you, Jane!"

Jane can't help but sniffle a bit. "H-How much did this cost? I-I can't just take it! I-It's just so–"

John interrupts Jane by hugging her. He really wish that Jane doesn't feel to be in debt with her younger brother –Jane struggled so much! When John finally found her –actually Jane came to John by having a job appointment with Dad –John felt so happy to finally see her!

John finally got together with his big sister. Jane "worked" as his personal maid but they later hung out as siblings as they're supposed to be.

John felt less alone with Jane around to do pranks together or at each other. Jane had been the companion and friend that all the maids and butlers couldn't do when John couldn't get a chance to get out of the real world.

And John is really okay with the snot and tears on his shoulder –Jane is definitely happy! John did buy her a good spot and building to start her own bakery –he really wished he could have bought the paint and other stuff though, there's really nothing in there!

Jane finally stops hugging and playfully slaps John in the back of his head.

"I still can't believe you got me this place –it's so… so…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. It wasn't cheap but the guys who sold it to me were assholes!"

Jane giggles at this. "Takes one to know one."

This time, John playfully hits Jane in the back of her head. Both take a giggle and look the empty building.

"Well," Jane says, "Let's get to work! I need glass, baking machinery, and _none_ of your money, _John_."

John rolls his eyes, pouts, and raises his hands in playful surrender. He can't help that he wants to help his sister. This means so much to her.

He'll just not tell her that he automatically paid the monthly expenses in Dad's bank account.

* * *

><p><strong>Hopefully this cheers you guys up from the previous chapter as well as give you guys some clues about certain things. <strong>

**Some of you did ask what importance Jane has in the story and will be revealed even more in the next chapter. **

**And Someone 0, yes, you can do a translation. Just give me a link when you do so, please. And thank you for asking for my permission. :)**


	21. Con XV: Gamzee

**Well, it's a bit late but Happy New Year, everyone! **

**It's really funny, I found out that someone questioned the main site and original creator had answered an anonymous person if they based off of a fanfiction. I kind of wander if they were talking about me –but that would make me completely hypocritical and prideful. And I am curious if there are other Convictstuck fanfiction. **

**So if anyone knows there are others like mine, please tell me! I would love to read them! **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XV<strong>_

_**Gamzee**_

* * *

><p>John knows that he couldn't run away from him forever in here. He really didn't want to cause trouble, especially with Makara…<p>

Dad did say that prison is the place where harm and beatings are going to him and Dad won't be there to help him… And Dad is… no more…

But John can't believe he would see Gamzee out of all places!

And of course, John meets him when he has a chore to transfer some food boxes to the food closet with no one there with him…

"Hello, motherfucker…"

John curses under his breath but glares eye to eye with the smirking Gamzee. He's not afraid of this guy. Both know that John is stronger and can easily beat Gamzee in a one-in-one fight. And really, John can't see how people can get scared of a guy who hates ICP yet follows their weird culture.

"What do you want, Makara?"

Gamzee's smirk grew wider. "Oh it's nothing, Crocker –just motherfucking hanging out in this motherfucking shithole that you and that motherfucker put me in. It was a true miracle I didn't get the motherfucking death penalty…"

John glares harder at Gamzee. Gamzee has something he's not telling about…

"But you know…" Gamzee drawls out before fury takes over his face. "I MOTHERFUCKING HATE THIS SHITHOLE! I MOTHERFUCKING HATE IT! THAT MOTHERFUCKING BLIND BITCH COULDN'T FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"You think this is all about Terezi?!" John shouts back. "You killed people! You even killed Nepeta for fuck's sake!"

Gamzee calms down and smirks. "That's not what the motherfucking jury said…"

John knew better. The Makaras always like using bribery as if it was a daily task.

"And I motherfucking know you can't start a motherfucking fight since that old pops of yours with that motherfucking attitude…" Gamzee then chuckles. "And I'd be a dumb motherfucker if I started one with you…"

"Then leave me the fuck _alone_." John growls, his fists ready.

But Gamzee chuckles and his smirk grew even wider.

"But that be a motherfucking mistake…" Gamzee drawls out. "Since I know a few motherfucking secrets that you've been keeping… _Egbert_…"

John couldn't help but take a small step back and inwardly cursed. How the hell did Gamzee–

"You see, motherfucker…" Gamzee begins to explain. "Staying in this motherfucking shithole can make a motherfucker bored… I couldn't motherfucking kill motherfuckers like that cunt bitch and I couldn't spend my motherfucking years just all up and fighting motherfuckers…"

Then Gamzee smiles big and wide. "So I got a motherfucker to get me some dirt on a certain blue-eyed motherfucker…"

John couldn't help but now feel frightened. What…? D-Did Gamzee really hire a spy on h-him…?!

"Karkat is my best friend… Terezi is some blind bitch… But you…" Gamzee then gets consumed in anger once again. "YOU MOTHERFUCKING HIRED THAT MOTHERFUCKING PROSECUTOR AND SENT ME IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHITHOLE!"

Gamzee runs and tries to throw an angry punch. But John easily dodge. And easily John pushes Gamzee to the wall with his arm against Gamzee's throat.

"You deserved it." John spits out. "You fucking killer…!"

Gamzee chokes out a deep chuckle. "Oh yeah… Well, some motherfuckers… in this shithole –_Ack! _…They'll be on your motherfucking ass when they… find out about your motherfucking father…"

John tensed up. No… Gamzee couldn't be saying that–

Gamzee easily took advantage of John's shock as he grabs his neck and slams John right into the wall. The position completely reversed…

"I know everything, motherfucker…" Gamzee whispers. A second later, his face converts into a psychotic glee. "EVERYTHING, MOTHERFUCKER! YOUR DAD! YOU INNOCENCE! AND THAT MOTHERFUCKING DOUGH YOU GOT! I'LL TELL EVERY BAD MOTHERFUCKER ABOUT IT! YOUR ASS WILL TAKE EVERY MOTHERFUCKING BEATING THERE MOTHERFUCKING IS!"

John glares at Gamzee. He quickly kicks Gamzee in the gut and easily got the hand off of his throat. He can't let Gamzee bully anyone ever again!

John carefully takes a couple of steps from Gamzee and the wall. The kick was good enough that it had Gamzee hunched over and groans about it. But John knew batter. Gamzee can take a hell lot of hits and still be punching and going.

"You think I'm going to let you bully me with that!" John both pants and shouts out. "Grandpa taught me how to fucking defend myself!"

Gamzee growls, "Almost forgot that motherfucker taught some shit… Motherfucking defense shit…"

But then Gamzee smirks.

"But that Jane bitch got nothing…"

John blinks in shock. "H-How–?"

"I told you… I had a motherfucker snooping around… "Gamzee smirks even bigger. "It takes my motherfucking words for the motherfucker to get rid of that sister of yours… _permanently_."

John can't help but stare at Gamzee. H-He couldn't be serious! He can't!

"But of course, my best friend hasn't been such a great friend… SINCE HE DOESN'T MOTHERFUCKING VISITS ME AND MOTHERFUCKING VISITS YOU! …And maybe there will be no hard feelings if he goes away too…"

John can't help but gasp a little. "You–"

"And that no good motherfucker Dave Strider…" Gamzee continues. "He takes a couple of trading and a motherfucker to paint his walls _red_…"

John is speechless. Gamzee Makara is a psychopath. John knows his luck is bad –but he didn't think he would have this horrible luck… And he can't let Makara do this to others… He had to protect all of them!

"…Alright…" John answers, he could hear Makara chuckle.

"That's great, motherfucker…" Gamzee chuckles again. "Don't worry, bro, I won't take your perky ass… I'm not that type of motherfucker…"

John made the mistake to look up and sees only a fraction of a second before pain overcame on his gut…

"But I'll beat the motherfucking hell out of you… you'll be my little punching bag… my motherfucking _bitch_…"

Gamzee backs away and chuckle as John goes down and curls himself up in pain. John tries not to show satisfaction but damn, John almost forgot how much he packed a punch! Fuck, it hurts…

"Good bye… my motherfucking _bitch_…" And Makara finally leaves…

…_Fuck_!

Damn it!

Fucking damn it!

And John has to transfer stuff, too!

…He failed…

John failed and now he's suffering again…

…_Fuck_…

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry if this is so short but I promise the next one will be longer! <strong>

**But there's definitely trouble for John! Who can rescue him? I think I know. ;)**


	22. Con XVI: Notice

**Thank you, HeyThereVantas for showing me "Carried Away"! I am happy that I'm not alone. **

**And I actually made a community for Convictstuck! So if anyone knows a Convictstuck fanfiction out there, please tell me in a review or a PM, whichever you are comfortable with. **

**And now here's Jake! :D**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XVI<strong>_

_**Notice **_

* * *

><p>Jake had heard from plenty of scoundrels of who Gamzee Makara is.<p>

He is a scoundrel, a man, who supposedly had "manslaughter" a few people. He had money to cover his tracks and it took a rich man to put him here. From what Jake got out from one guard, the rich man was close to the scoundrel –even hinting out a possibility that the rich man and Makara had been canoodled once.

But all in all, Jake didn't think much of this Makara scoundrel. To Jake, Gamzee Makara is just a scoundrel with more oomph than the common one.

But Jake began to notice something. Even though he didn't have perfect vision, he can see movement. Movement was like a face except more expressive and bigger for Jake to see. And it really helps Jake's farsighted vision and not strains his eyes to look closely.

But enough of that, Jake was going to look at Jadey-John.

It was nothing at first for a couple of days. John would go somewhere and would miss a spectacular movie during free time. Dirk trusts John as he remains unsuspicious to Jadey-John's actions. Davey was another story…

He missed the part where the hero meets his daring and bodacious love interest. Dave just stared there and did not watch the movie at all.

And then Jake met John. It was after the movie and Jake was supposed to go to therapy. John was crouching. He was all curled up like a ball…

And before Jake saw John, Makara left. Jake could never forget a man that smells like a fountain drink and cannabis… And John had a scent of blood…

It was not shown but Jake knew the smell of blood… He had remembered the familiar scent as it bled out of his fingers. Jake was concerned.

He asked John if he was alright. Jake did not want to lose another. He couldn't. But John said he was fine…

He wasn't fine…

No, not fine at all…

And it has been happening more… and the scent of blood is stronger…

"Hey…Jake…? Is something wrong? Jake?"

Jake blinks and turns his head to see the familiar-looking concerned and worried face of Dirk… And then he looks a bit down and sees all his fingers are bitten through and through that Jake can't help but twitch from the pain delivered to his brain…

"Jake…?"

Jake looks up to see the eyes of his cellmate completely showing his concerns for him. How awful Jake is, making Dirk feel like this…

"…I'm fine, Dirk…" Jake answers. "Just, um, Geldbuße… if that's the word…"

Dirk gives a smile and chuckles. He looks amused. He nods his head at his good chuckle. "Yeah, it's okay…"

"Would you ladies stop making out with each other, I'm trying to watch this. And by the way, Geldbuße is the fine where you have to pay cash for being shitty to the law."

Jake licks his lips, tasting the iron of his blood. It is nice that Dirk does not say it is the wrong word and did not lie too. Jake is still learning about German and it makes Dirk very happy. But for now, Jake is not happy…

"Dirk… I need to go somewhere… Please stay here and tell me what I missed…" Jake immediately walks away. He wishes to find Jade –he can't let her suffer. Not again, never again…

Jake went to the rooms of horrid manipulation, therapy. And he could hear it… He could hear the scoundrel… He could hear his anger pulsing inside once again… Makara shall pay…

"You better thank your motherfucking luck that I have to go somewhere… I WOULD BEAT THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU! …So you better rest up until next time… 'CAUSE I WILL TAKE MY MOTHERFUCKING TIME WITH YOU!" A chuckle echoed. "So bye-bye… my motherfucking _bitch_…"

Jake could see him. He could see the horrible scoundrel walking out… He'll hurt him… He will kill him! That no-good villainous warped vain ill-nurtured measle! He'll–

What the-?!

Who pushed him to the ground!

"J-Jake! S-Stop! Don't!" Jake couldn't help but throw a fist and fortunately, missed. But he is terribly confused. Why is Jadey-John holding him down…? "W-What are you doing here? There's still time and–… Never mind, are you here alone?"

Jake nods. He always tells the truth to Jadey-John…

"Good, l-listen, I-I need you to keep quiet! Y-You can't tell anyone what's happening, okay! You have to promise!"

Jake looks at John, he squints his eyes and seeing as much of John's face as he can. And there is blood… There is blood shown on his face…! There is blood shed from Jadey-John! Why would John–

"Come on! You have to! Please!"

But Jake looks at John more. There… There is an open wound near John's eye… It isn't big but it's there. Jake strains his eyes a little too much to see it but it's there. _Makara_…

"No…"

"Jake–"

"No! I won't let that rude-growing, ump-fed, hell-hated scoundrel hurt you! Not again!" Jake shouts. Even though Jadey-John is hugging him to the ground, Jake had to move –he has to reason her!

"W-What…" John stops himself and takes a big audible gulp before starting again. "What do you mean again?"

Jake could feel his body drain… But there was no blood…

…Jade…

Jake felt himself laying his entire back on the cold floor. He never told anyone except Dirk about his darling niece's death… He did not want to be reminded about the failure he was at being a guardian –especially when Jade is forever gone…But…

"I have a niece…" Jake begins, looking only up. "She was… She was everything to me… She was my dear and sweet Jade…" Jake could feel one of his hands near his mouth, lingering to hurt again and bleed more… "I loved her so much… She was the daughter I always needed…But…"

Jake could feel the horrible yet justice-like sadness begin choking him. He did not deserve death. Jake has to suffer for the haunting sin he has done…

"She went missing… She had somehow… somehow vanished the second I wasn't looking… I tried… I tried to find her…" In the back of his head, Jake could feel his index simply getting grazed and chewed on… The familiar taste of blood is on the tip of his tongue. He needs this… "I tried to offer an award… a million dollars… two…! Three…! Four! Four million dollars and no one could find her!"

Jake sits up and has one of his hands grab tightly on John's shoulder. He could hear the audible crunch –even though it's been bitten through and through. But he would never hurt John. His fingers deserve it since Jake deserves it. And he could feel it… the vengeance… and the guilt…

"B-But…" Jake can't help but feel himself smiling and chuckling while his eyes are getting too wet… "Officers found her… It took them time… They took their sweet time… They were spoiled! A-And they were vile! …I know what she looked like… For goodness _fucking_ sake! I know! I know what she looked like! A-And they asked! They _fucking_ asked!" Somehow…his anger seems nonexistent and… something else is in him… "…But I had to look… I had to look way too close… Too close to look at her body… I had to look at her poor corpse and see with my own eyes that…"

Unfortunately, what is spilling now is not blood… It should be blood… It should be pain… It shouldn't be this nothingness in him…

His fresh and less bloody hand is gripping into Jade's shoulder. Jake shouldn't but he just… Jake can't let her go…N-Not again…

If only he could stop these tears… if only he could stop himself from sobbing…

"…I only had my dad as family…" In a miracle, the tears and sobs begin to stop. Jake ceases his sobs and looks at John with wide eyes. He can't see him but… "Sure I had my sister but I lived pretty much my life with my dad before…"

"John…?"

"Even though I began to question about his… actions towards other people, Dad cared about me…" John continues on. "Our relationship was never the best but I…"

Jake could feel those blue eyes look right at Jake's horrible ones…

"…I miss him… I miss my dad…"

"…John–"

"And I can't lose anyone!" John begins. His hands are gripping on Jake's shoulders. "Don't you get it? I can't lose another! I-I am stuck here while people I love and care about will be killed if I don't take these beatings! Makara will call some guy a-and…"

Jake could see it. Even without his glasses, Jake could see the worry, care, and love in John… And like Jake during that… tragedy, John feels completely helpless…

"S-So you got to promise me… _Please_ promise me that you can't tell anyone about this a-and that you won't hurt Makara… o-okay? And you can't tell it especially to Dirk and Dave what's been happening to me! I-If they get suspicious… just, uh, tell them don't. Okay, tell them don't. P-Promise…?"

"…Promise…"

* * *

><p>After that, John had to go somewhere. Jake knows but he promised. Well, at least it will take only three days before his new therapist cracks. After that wasteful time, Jake went where the Striders are waiting…<p>

It turns out Jake isn't the only one bothered…

"Okay, since everyone is here, let's start out the rumors." Dirk begins. But Jake stands there in front of the cell. He didn't feel like sitting on the top bunk like always…

Really, Jake always pays attention to each and every word Dirk says but…

"Where is he?"

Jake looks up and sees Dave looking right at him. He did not know what expression Dave is making but that tone of voice…

"Dave, beruhigen die fuck unten. We need to–"

"I don't _care_." Dave shouts. "Where the Hölle is John, _English._ Don't be fucking with me, Arsch."

Jake responds by raising an eyebrow. He is honestly curious what this Strider wants. "Strider… I saw him but I am under a promise…"

"Fick verspricht! Where is he!"

Jake can't help but growl. That is very rude… He can guess very well what Dave meant. Promises are everything… And Jake now has to test Dave… Dave has to prove that he's worthy. And Jake won't give it to him easy.

"Why would I tell you…?" Jake can't help but chuckle. "It seems Jadey-John doesn't want you to get involved with him… I am keeping her promise…"

Dave actually walks up to Jake, his face now very blurry. Jake tries not to squints his eyes since he doesn't need to look at the face. His body is already showing it is tense… Dave really must care about her… Usually Dave knows not to get too close to him…

And usually, Dave wouldn't put his hands around the collar of Jake's cloth, especially gripping them very hard right now…

"I am only going to say this _once_, English," Dave actually growls and his thumbs are pressing on his neck. "Where the Hölle is John or else I'll–"

"_Dave_…" Jake begins, "Would you risk John's trust because you're curious where he is? You would rather have John dislike you because you went against his word?" Dave goes hesitant. "…I was told by Jade that whatever I do, I should not hurt… And whatever I say to you… is _don't_…"

Huh, Dave's grip is faltering… Yes…That proves Dave cares about her words.

"So Dave," Jake grabs those hands off of him and tries his best to look at him eye to eye. "_Don't_ interfere Makara when he's in therapy and give him a good beating…"

Dave doesn't immediately move. He looks at Jake. He's most likely confused and curious on what Jake meant.

"Well, I am keeping my promise, Strider… I cannot hurt Makara but… _Don't_ hurt him and give Makara what he deserves… Especially _don't_ go right away now and go to the therapy hallway and beat Makara up…" Jake even steps to the side for Dave to show what he is truly meaning. "You really think I let a child dictate what she wants? …I know the basics to being a guardian, at least."

It took a few seconds before Dave hurried out of the cell. It took a bit too much time for Dave to fully understand but at least he got the message. Dave will take care of what will be right.

But Jake wants some… vengeance…

"Say Dirk…" Jake said. "You still have camaraderie with Captor, yes…?"

Dirk nods, "…Um… yeah…?"

Jake can't help but smirk. "Then let's help get rid of the scoundrel, shall we?"

Dirk must be secretly excited about what is going to happen with the warm energy on his cheeks.

* * *

><p><strong>Jake knows how to keep a promise while doing what he believes it is the right thing. And he does with others as well. <strong>

**If there is anyone who can help me with German translation, please tell me everything for me to fix since I am unfortunately using Google Translate. Anything would be nice!**

**The next chapter is going to be about Dave –go Dave, go! **


	23. Con XVII: Reward

**I would like to say thank you Elisablackcat and ArlkatThePillowfighter for offering help, I'm going to need all the help with German translation. So thanks guys very, very much.**

**And if there are others, you can help too! If you want to be anonymous, I will respect that. **

**But for now, Dave is off to the rescue!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XVII<strong>_

_**Reward**_

* * *

><p>Dave really wishes Jake would say something earlier!<p>

Of course, it was Makara!

There was that time with the toilet where Makara was shouting his ass off. Damn, if only Dave could majorly remember about that instead of John looking and commenting at his Schwanz.

But enough of that, Dave has got to save John!

Dave thanks his lucky damn stars that there are barely any guards and prisoners getting in his way. And Dave is seriously glad that he knows the shortest way to the shitty therapy room. But oh _boy_, Dave is about to slap, cut, and kill a bitch!

He could feel the familiar anger overcoming him. He ran towards Makara and sucker punched the ICP wannabe off of John. Too bad Makara's head didn't hit the goddamn floor or else it would be easier…

"MOTHERFUCK! YOU NO-GOOD–…_You_…" The ICP wannabe raises himself up and actually has the guts to smirk at him. "Hello Dave… nice seeing you here… How'd you find us?"

"You think I won't fucking notice that my cellmate was disappearing for no good isn't suspicious?" Dave scoffs out. "You're a fucking Dummkopf if you think I wouldn't notice Scheiße like that."

"D-Dave…"

Dave takes a quick glance at his cute cellmate and luckily, it didn't look like he took serious damage. Then again, the ICP fucker is somehow smart enough that he wouldn't damage obvious and conspicuous areas like that adorable face…

"You think that motherfucker is innocent, motherfucker?" Oh great, the fucker is actually speaking… "YOU'RE WRONG! …_Egbert_ here… he's a motherfucker who isn't all up what he seems… So you better–"

"Better kick your ass? Anytime, Arschloch." Dave interrupts. He feels the satisfaction as the ugly ass face twitches in anger than having that stupid smirk on his face.

"You motherfucking…"

"Bring it, ICP wan–"

Too bad Dave couldn't finish his cool and ironic comment. Makara would have slammed that punch on Dave if he continued though.

Luckily, Dave gets to hit Makara again –this time at the jaw.

Unfortunately, due to a good number of experiences, Dave knows that it won't be enough. The ICP wannabe is fucking stubborn on not going down…

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Makara yells out before he takes a big swing at Dave. This time, he succeeded. Fuck! That hurts like a bitch!

Dave can't help but take a step back but he stood his fucking grounds. He tries to punch Makara back but of course, Dave couldn't suspect everything going his way. Makara grabbed his fist, twisting and pulling Dave to deliver a head-butt. Scheiße! Dave almost forgot that hard ass head!

But Dave isn't some punching bag –he gave a good uppercut at the jaw. He could hear the teeth crunching and slamming at each other.

But Makara still had hold on one of Dave's arms. He pulls on it again and head-butts Dave again. Damn! Dave's nose is broken as fuck!

Dave can't help but have one of his hands cover the bleeding nose in instinct. But Dave got a good shot on digging his knee up at the fucker's balls.

But Gamzee pushes Dave off. Fortunately, he's cradling his balls.

"You fucker! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

Dave snorts some blood off of his nose and spits it out to the ground. Goddamn, his nose is bleeding too much! Of course Makara has a damn hard head. But the fight isn't anywhere over.

"I swear Strider… You're making a motherfucking mistake…" Gamzee growls, "John ain't all up what he seems –he motherfucking said his last name is motherfucking Crocker!"

"D-Dave, p-please listen, I–"

"Don't worry babe," Dave says in a cool way. "I'll take care of this lying Scheißkerl up in no time."

Makara frowns. He is definitely pissed at the lack of shit Dave gives to him. And that is fucking good. If only Makara would come right at him… Dave would look like a Dummkopf if he attacked Makara.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU BETTER LISTEN TO MY WORDS! I AM THE MESSIAH! I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING SAVIOR!" Makara screeches out. Fuck, that guy is way too loud for his own good! "John here is a motherfucker! He's a slut! He's a no-good traitor!" Then Makara has a realization. "…Don't fucking tell me that you're fucking him…"

Makara begins to cackle…

"Oh, this is too motherfucking good! The motherfucking whore has another!" Makara actually laughs out. "AND IT'S WITH THE FREAK!"

Dave narrows his eyes. Nein… Dave is way too cool for this…

"To think Egbert would want a motherfucking demon up that ass…!" Gamzee laughs out loud. "I can't motherfucking believe you're that desperate for that devil-eyed fucker!"

"Schließen Sie das Bumsen, _fucker_." Dave growls out. He is cool… He is cooler than this…

"Dave, please…" John croaks out.

"Then again, his big bro doesn't want a monster like him!"

Okay, that's fucking it! Dave is going to show this fucker how he can decapitate this dumb Scheiße with his own hands and–

"Dave, wait!" John grabs Dave's arm. Unfortunately, Makara has the perfect advantage.

Dave looks at John's pleading face before he gets hit by the ICP wannabe. Verdammt! And Dave couldn't react at the incoming quick punches as he does the most uncool thing ever, he falls to the ground. Makara is on him, punching him again and again. Dave could hear out the annoying ringing of his ears is John pleading… and something else…

"Makara! Thtop!"

Captor? What's –Fuck! Of course, Makara doesn't obey. And Dave is such a fucking idiot to lift his head –only to have Makara make his head hit the hard ground again. And he's fucking punching Dave like a bag of Scheiße.

But thank the fuck God that it's short. Dave could feel Makara jitter and shake above him and fall to the side. Thank fuck…

"…Nice shot, English…" Dirk…?

English? What the f–

"Makara, you violated the rule and athaulted Thtrider, your punithment will be a year without calling."

"WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK! YOU CAN'T DO THAT, YOU NO-GOOD LISP-FUCKING MOTHERFU– Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"

"…Nithe thot again, Englith…"

"Jake…?" John…

"I'm sorry, Jade, I told him don't. And I did not harm Makara, these Tasers did."

…Fuck… Dave is getting way… too… light…

"Dave…? Dave!"

* * *

><p>Dave wakes up and a raging headache bitch-slaps him. What the fuck happened…?<p>

"Dave! Careful, don't overdo yourself." John…?

"Was zum Teufel ist passiert?"

"Um… could say that in English?"

Dave then looks at the now clear view of the blue-eyed cutie. Damn, he's really cute in this angle… And what's somewhat soft touching the back of his head?

Dave blinks and sees… he's in the infirmary. Scheiße, he fainted.

"So, how did I get here?"

"Well… I had to take you here. Jake and your brother had to go somewhere and Captor took Gamzee somewhere."

Dave escorts and slowly sits up. He can feel the bandages on his handsome face, especially the one on his nose. Huh, John actually bandaged his face… Nette…

"Hey, thanks John." Dave says, looking at the cutie that actually likes his eyes. "Sorry for being all uncool by acting like some knocked out Dummkopf, that was totally not ironic for you to drag my body here."

John actually blushes and looks away. Aw, he is flustered. John is way too adorable. And he really is nice since he did drag Dave here and tend his wounds.

"N-No problem… I'm sorry I couldn't get the nurse, um, they are busy with something."

Dave smirks, "_Ah~_, it ain't no problem, gorgeous~."

John blushes more. And then he looks at Dave.

"Y-You have a Southern accent? I thought you were European."

Dave shrugs his shoulders. "I'm a German-Texan. I've been raised in Deutschland and Texas back and forth."

John giggles and smiles at Dave. His blue eyes are looking at Dave's red eyes. There is no fear on those blue eyes… John really does like his eyes even though they're…

"I, uh… I want to say thanks… for defending me from Gamzee…"

Große, Dave is now blushing. Really, he is not some Japanese schoolgirl but it does warm his heart. It is times like this that Dave wishes he had his shades. John is actually giggling at him. There is still no fear in those blue eyes but there's a twinkle in them.

"No problem," Dave responds coolly. He ignores the blush on his face. "'m glad that you're okay with getting rescued by the devil-eyed freak."

Immediately, John frowns at this. Actually, he looks completely appalled and shocked that Dave had said that.

"How can you say that?! You're not a monster!"

Fuck, Dave's heart is swelling the fuck up. Is the anime gods trolling him or what? Or are they giving Dave an actual chance? Here in front of Dave is a cutie with big blue doe eyes and a bootylicious ass who likes his ironic but freaky eyes…

But Dave acts like he's always cool and ironic. He shrugs his shoulders and looks bored with success. "Don't know John. Many believe these eyes are the sign of the devil and–"

Okay, Dave did not suspect John to interrupt him, especially with what he's doing now…

John has both of his hands grasping Dave's head and moved closer to Dave. Dave could see the long lashes and an unknown emotion going through those blue eyes. Damn it, Dave could feel his cheeks getting really warm now.

Carefully, as Dave is actually fragile and really important, John uses those hands of his to lower Dave's head more to his height. And John is getting closer and…

John kisses his forehead, the part between his eyebrows.

Then John kisses the corner of his eye…

And then kisses at the other one…

After both his eyes got kissed, Dave can't help but stare at John. Did he –why would –…Wow…

Unfortunately, John seems to realize something and has his hands and entire body away from Dave.

"O-Oh –U-U-Um…" John stutters out.

Dave is pretty damn sure both their faces are on fire but is too damn distracted by the kisses he got. His mind is completely blank.

"A-A-Again, thanks and, uh, I, um, –I-I have to go!"

Dave doesn't really do anything as John absconds. He just can't believe what just happened to him.

Dave can't help but curl himself up and groan.

Holy fucking ass on a stick, Dave is falling into a bottomless pit fast and he is far from escaping…

* * *

><p><strong>It really is hard to do fight scenes. But hey, at least Dave does get an award from John. <strong>

**Next chapter is going to be about Dirk and a bit of his assassin past… I'll give you guys a hint on who is going to appear: had a crush on Dirk in the comics. **

**Thanks for reading and please review! **


	24. Pro VII: Lover

**Well, Valentine's Day is over and it turns out that it's now been a year past since I started and published this fanfiction and now here I am and here you are! I like to thank all of you guys for reading this and staying with it since! Whether you were reading this in the beginning or just a new reader, thanks for taking this fanfiction for a try! **

**And since Valentine's Day had past, here's a Pro with Dirk in a nice mission –I mean, date. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro VII: "Lover"<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Dirk smiles as he looks at Caliborn English, his new target. <em>

_Fortunately, Dirk didn't use much seduction. Caliborn may be sexist and a shitty drawer but he's gay and believes that PDA is something "dirty". Really, Dirk should be thankful it isn't one of those perverted bastard pedophiles that he unfortunately had to meet with. Luckily, Dave took his sweet time removing all of their balls off. While with Caliborn, Dirk just used a well-crafted smile and a few kisses on his hand. This had easily made Caliborn putty in his hands. _

"_This better be good, this theme park looks like shit." _

_Dirk just smiles and takes Caliborn's hand. _

"_I'm ready when you are." Dirk coos. Easily, Caliborn gets flustered. _

"_Well t-then, let's go!" Caliborn shouts. Dirk keeps the smile on his face with ease. He has dealt with more annoying targets. _

_They get their tickets. They look around. They started typical things like the maze of mirrors and games. Dirk is completely surprised about this target's obsession with games though. It's like he wants to play with all of them. But he's bad at all of them. _

_Really, Roxy can do better when she's having a hangover…_

_But hey, at least Dirk doesn't have to force a smile when there's a guy who's epically failing at every game he's trying. This is even better entertainment than Dave trying to win a rap battle. _

_But some time passed and then Dirk gets a text. _

_Did Dave accidently overkill again?_

_Oh, it's from Roxy._

_**From: Roxy**_

_**Yo dirty! Sum dud is in th pork w ya! **_

_Dirk can't help but smirk. Sweet, it looks like Dirk can have a good challenge. Caliborn doesn't seem to care that Dirk is looking at his phone. Really, he's too busy cursing out a guy that the game is somehow rigged while an eight year old girl won the prize. _

_But Caliborn tried this game more than once and… it looks like Caliborn is eyeing at a certain prize too…_

_Really, it's a shooting game. Dirk can do this with his eyes closed since Bro taught him well. But Dirk simply walks to Caliborn and shuts him up with a charming smile. _

"_So, you want the toy?" Dirk asks, "I can get it for you~."_

_Caliborn blushes and mumbles about something but does not deny it. The manager thanks him and actually gives him a try without paying much. A "discount", he says. But Dirk does pay the money and with some "struggle" shoots. Of course, Dirk easily gets the toy. This shooting game is way too easy. Bro would let him and Dave shoot with a blindfold and a bad smell of cheese to train their accuracy. _

_But there's someone in the corner of Dirk's eye that's been walking around. Dirk knows the guy. It's one of his "exes". Dirk used to date this guy but the fucker didn't have the information that Bro or Dirk needed. And this one looks pissed. _

"_Let's go on a ride. Try not to lose the prize." _

"_Of course, I won't!" _

_Dirk keeps his smile on his face. Really, who wants a big candy corn plush when there could be Rainbow Dash ones that are cheap to make with the right fabric and price. But now is not the time to think about the spunky Pegasus, Dirk needs to find a ride that is singular ridden and distracting enough for what he's about to do. There isn't much option. And Dirk still has to be a good date to Caliborn. _

_Maybe…_

"_Hey, want to go to the haunted mansion ride?"_

_Caliborn looks at Dirk with wide eyes. Obviously the guy is a scaredy-cat. And with the plush, Caliborn will close his eyes and hug the fuck out of something that isn't Dirk. It will be plenty of time for Dirk to get rid of the "ex"._

"_We just entered here and you want to go to a scary ride?!" _

"_Is there a problem? I really want to go there together."_

_It is one of the easiest and most successful lines. And Caliborn shows no resistance and goes with Dirk to the crappy but helpfully distracting scary ride. The "ex" is following them with little precaution…_

_Since the theme park is small, the line is nonexistent. People are going in and out like that one time in France except without a lot of blood and corpses going around. Luckily Dirk has his silencer…_

_There is no safety belt or anything to keep Dirk on the ride. _

"_**Welcome~, welcome~ to the haunted~ mansion~."**_

_Dirk tries not to snort at the shitty mechanical voice that's trying to be "spooky". Of course, Caliborn tries to act like he's not scared. But his eyes are still open. And Dirk knows the "ex" is in and moving around already._

_Dirk looks around. The lack of light is making it hard to see. But hey, at least the date is actually interesting. Dirk does want a challenge._

_Of course, a shitty ghost pops in front of them. _

_Good, Caliborn is now hiding his eyes. It's about time to get out. _

_Dirk gets himself quietly off the ride and strides through around. The ride is not some narrow road and is definitely dark. Luckily his AI on his shades can help._

"_Hal, Schalten Sie den Nachtsicht auf."_

_**TT: Until you say pretty please.**_

_Dirk rolls his eyes. OF course, he had to make an AI that has his god awful personality and an unhealthy ironic dosage of sass. Luckily the night vision is on. And Dirk can easily see he isn't the only one here._

"_You…" the "ex" growls. _

_Dirk quickly moves and gets out his gun. He takes cover as the "ex" takes the first shot –actually first __**six**__ shots. Damn, he's pissed. Dirk tries to hide and move quickly but he isn't the only one with night vision on –especially night vision equipment. But there's something more…_

"_Ah! Oh my god! Did you feel that? There was, like, a bullet that went right behind me!" Damn, there's people –too many that both can't have flying bullets everywhere. _

_Dirk tries to take a shot but misses. Unfortunately, the bullet hits something metal and a girl screams. And Dirk lost the "ex". Scheiße. _

"_So," Dirk actually says out loud. "You still have not forgiven me."_

"_You fucking ditched me! You disappeared and you got your hands on some whiny ass fucker! You no-good cheater!"_

_Dirk hears a bullet hitting something metal about a meter near him. Huh, Dirk definitely didn't "date" him for shooting, that's for sure._

_Dirk takes a random shot. Luckily he didn't hit anyone and hears the "ex" curse. Well, Dirk is lucky. He really didn't mean to shoot. It was out of instinct. But at least Dirk has a clue where the "ex" could be. _

_With stealth, Dirk moves as the sounds of clicks, screams, and mechanical working echo throughout. The night vision helps but Dirk could use something… Here's something…_

"_What's so fucking great about him, anyway? He doesn't have anything!" _

…_Is the "ex" jealous? Oh Gott, he is. This is such a big advantage. Dirk could almost laugh at this. _

"_It's true." Dirk replies. _

_Dirk could almost hear the "ex" pause. This is way too easy. Maybe he could use his mind to figure out what his name is again. _

"_You… You mean that…?" Seriously? Maybe Dirk should kill him other than a gun. But then again, Dirk can't get blood on him. And that's more of Dave's style to literally have splashes of blood all over him._

"_Of course, I… I wanted to protect you. I did not want you to be in danger." Dirk lies with ease and emotion. "He means nothing to me. He's just a mission. But you…" _

_Seriously, does he not realize Dirk is using lines from anime? _

"_Is that why you… disappeared?" _

"_And my heart aches of regret because of my mistake." _

"_How do I know you're telling me the truth?" _

_Dirk stands up, giving his destination and appearance to the "ex". And with a show, Dirk slowly shows his gun in the wrong way and drops it in a second. He could see the face of the "ex". He is completely surprised and there is relief and happiness in his eyes. _

_Of course, Dirk gives his best reassuring smile. _

"_I'm sorry that I shot you. I hope I didn't hurt you." Dirk coos._

_The "ex" smiles, "No… you didn't…"_

_As the "ex" walks to Dirk, Dirk uses the slow pace to find something. He can't use the gun. There will be struggle and the "ex" does have a gun on him. But then there are those gears…_

_But before the "ex" could hug him or touch him, Dirk uses his flash-step. He gets near the "ex" and shoves him to the gears. Luckily, there is no blood splattering. And Dirk runs to where Caliborn is. That was so easy._

_Dirk can hear the screaming and yelling and lack of creative cursing from the "ex". Maybe Dirk should have shot him when he picked up his gun. But the gears are crushing him to death. That's good enough. Maybe he can tell Dave about this. _

_But of course, the crushing is making the ride broken. Dirk can see the machines jitter and then–_

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" _

_CRUNCH!_

_**TT: You know, you could have convinced the guy to meet you somewhere else?**_

_**TT: Less screaming, I would recommend it.**_

_**TT: But that would be a bit late. **_

_**TT: Like his name, Xavier. **_

"_Halt den Mund." Dirk mumbles and sees Caliborn. Thank the anime gods that he's still covering his eyes. Easily, Dirk gets back to the ride. _

_And the ride starts again. Dirk waits for more shitty ghosts and badly made monsters to get into his face. It takes a bit of time before Dirk hears a man scream. Huh, that's more surprising than the shitty ghosts that they have here. _

_Well, this date is definitely interesting –especially what's going to happen after the guy stops screaming about the new corpse. _

_And who would believe Dirk is the culprit?_

_After all, Dirk is a lover, not a fighter._

* * *

><p>Dirk can't help but be more than a bit bothered that Jake is giving a glare to his brother all because of John.<p>

Seriously, what does this guy have that got Dave's and English's attention? Sure, he looks like jailbait but that's about it.

"How _giving_ he is… I hope your brother knows how to take a blessing without any unnecessary… _advantage_…" Jake growls. "If Davey even _thinks_ about touching her wrong…"

Dirk can't help but frown at this. Seriously, what does John have that others don't have? It doesn't even look like he's trying to pursue intentionally. For a guy who killed his father, he sure is innocent. Maybe he's good at acting. Or maybe there's more about John than Dirk thinks.

Still, that shouldn't explain why his dumbass Bruder and Jake is so smitten with the guy. He's just some amateur murderer.

Dirk knows more about getting away with murder than doe eyes.

And his hair is messy as Scheiße. Dirk has the better hair even if he didn't shower properly due to prison restrictions.

"Jake, Dave would never do that."

"Good, or else I have to bite his hands off…"

Dirk can't help but roll his eyes. Jake may have bit him once and it felt like getting caught in a bear trap but it's not that hard.

"I thought you don't do love, Jake?" Dirk can't help but ask. He can't help but feel a void inside.

Jake giggles and looks at Dirk with a big and a bit off smile.

"But Dirk…" Jake begins. "John is different."

"Wie? –I mean, how?" Dirk can't help but ask. Seriously, what does John have?! It hurts more than it should…

Jake then frowns at Dirk and actually glares at him. "She's dear and precious to me and my heart, Dirk…But…"

Without warning, Jake grabs Dirk on his collar. Dirk can see Jake's green eyes that are definitely off but determined. And if Dirk isn't so distracted, he could feel the hot breath going out of Jake. But Jake has other ideas of course.

"If you harm her, in any way, I will have to do a deed that will make all of us… _regret_…" Jake growls. "Clear?"

Dirk can't help but feel more hurt. But Jake isn't choking him…

"Don't worry Jake," Dirk reassures with a smile on his face. "I'm a lover… not a fighter…"

Jake smiles and lets Dirk go. "Good… I wouldn't want to harm you unless needed… You are significant to my heart too…"

Dirk just stares at Jake. The hurt is gone and something a bit too warm is filling the void. Dirk smiles.

"Danke, Jake."

Sometimes Dirk wishes that he could use his techniques and tricks on Jake but…

A true lover would wait for the feelings to be mutual. After all, what does Dirk know about fighting against love?

* * *

><p><strong>So I want to explain why I chose Caliborn. <strong>

**When I was reading Homestuck, I only thought Caliborn just "want to be bros with him". However, due to influence of a certain friend and the Internet *cough* Tumblr *cough*, I decided that Caliborn does have a "liking" to Dirk. So sorry if I had angered or disappointed any of you guys. **

**Thank you ArlkatThePillowfighter for having Nick help translate the previous chapter, it really means a lot. **

**And great news, guys! There are pictures of all the main four characters as awesome Valentine cards. All of them are awesome! Make sure you guys reblog and not repost. And be nice to the creators, without them, this fanfiction wouldn't exist! **


	25. Con XVIII: Envy

**There are 55,000 words and 24 chapters until now. It is actually pretty cool when you think about it. I mean, perfect thousand is hard to find in fanfictions. I almost didn't want to update because I am still entertained by it. But hey, I also like updating. **

**Also, more cool news is that there is a translated fanfiction of this one! How cool is that! There is this user, Elarel, who did it and is a great person, especially for asking my permission for this. There is a link in the bio if you guys want to check it out. It really is cool to find it in another language –even if I can't read it! Elarel, you are awesome and thank you!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XVIII <strong>_

_**Envy**_

* * *

><p>It's been quite some time after the whole Makara incident, a few weeks to be the minimum. And Dirk can't help but feel that John is getting more than used to the prison life.<p>

As cute as he may be, there's been… stuff going on…

Jake and Dave have been… getting close to John. Jake especially…

"Aw~, eifersüchtig viel Dirky?" Dave teases.

"Halt den Mund, Arschloch."

Dave chuckles with a smug smirk on his face. "Oh come on Bruder, John is the best thing to happen to us in this shithole. Ich meine, look at the cutie. He's actually drawing pictures with English. And English looks actually sane."

Dirk doesn't say anything and simply hums. As much as Dirk wants to deny and say it's wrong, it is true. Jake looks sane and nothing like the weirdly cute guy who is amateur in murder and harms himself too much. He is actually drawing pictures with shitty crayons with John…

And John's drawings aren't that great. Dirk can draw a busty moe girl in a few minutes. John's drawings are utter Scheiße.

"Aren't you pissed that John is having his doe eyes on Jake?" Dirks asks in German.

Dave chuckles. "No, I got kisses from John. I'm closer to first base than you have."

Dirk narrows his eyes. He is not going to be jealous to his Arschloch Bruder. Dirk had kisses from Jake. Even though they were… well, it is nothing of romantic intention. Jake always had a reason to kiss him.

Of course, Dirk would never kiss back. Jake had told him what happened to his previous cellmate. And from the guards, Dirk already knows that he was in a hospital and then in a different prison for what Jake did to him.

"Shouldn't you tell your boyfriend about what you tried to do?" Dirks asks in German.

Dave frowns and looks away. It isn't a real surprise that Dave has an ironic anger issue problem but what he tried to do isn't something to forget. But at least Dave feels guilty about what he did, unlike other people…

"Bro, look, I got punched by the balls from you and I did let him go. I know I should be thinking since that's the only thing I can't seem to do and even though I didn't succeed, I fucked up." Dave replies in German. "I will ask for John's consent. I won't be a fucking douchebag, promise."

Dirk hums and nods at Dave's words. His eyes are on Jake who seems to be concentrating on drawing something. Dirk would be lying if he said that he isn't relieved that Jake is behaving saner but he would also be lying that he is… okay, yes, he's jealous that John is the one who's doing it.

There is more about Jake than just some vengeance-seeking psycho. Dirk sometimes listen to the tales Jake would say supposedly to himself when he's on his bunk. Jake would always make himself an adventure boy and that everything was an adventure, even picking out and farming pumpkins. And at times, Jake would "talk" to his niece about life in prison. And he would mention or talk about Dirk, always saying that Dirk is making it better for him…

"…Hey Dirk," Dave begins after an awkward and ironic silence took over them. "Do you think that maybe… maybe John will forgive me?"

Dirk looks at Dave and is a bit surprised at the question. Dave is usually a prideful prick at times but he knows how to hide his insecurities with ironic coolness or bloodlust anger. But he has feelings...

Scheiße, Dave is really in deep…

Dave deserves someone great and if John is really making Dave happy then…

"What are you talking about?" Dirk answers in German. "You are _the_ Dave Strider. If Egbert can't forgive you, he doesn't deserve the Strider dick."

Dave smiles at this, his confidence is up and good. And then Dave chuckles. "Yeah, John is being _quite_ a significant asset in this team, especially to English's sanity."

Of course, Dirk punches Dave on the shoulder and said nothing. Dave isn't going to give the satisfaction that he is jealous. But Dave chuckles anyway…

* * *

><p>Dirk blows out a perfect cloud of smoke and sighs. Officer Connor separated him and Dave with Dirk going back to his cell. It's not Dirk's fault that Connor saw him punching his stupid brother again. But hey, at least Dirk has his cigarettes and lighter to pass the time.<p>

Maybe Dirk can make a call to Roxy. But then again, Roxy might be too busy with her girlfriend…

It seems everyone that Dirk knows is getting out of the single status.

Of course Dirk had to set his eyes on the one guy who sees love as some combination of a distraction and a disaster.

Dirk has always been a rational guy but he doesn't understand his feelings.

Usually, he acts like he had certain emotions and feelings. But that's only in missions. Out of missions, Dirk can't help but feel more like… a robot.

At least Dave can act his true feelings and emotions, even with a straight face…

"Dirk… Are you here…?" Dirk looks where the voice is and sees Jake. Jake has a sane smile on him but both his arms are behind his back and obviously hiding something.

"Sup Jake," Dirk greets. He sits up and takes a big whiff in and puts out his cigarette. "You got something, don't you?"

Jake giggles and shows a more off smile. Dirk can't help but frown. Of course, only John seems to bring sanity to Jake… But Dirk doesn't look away. He's curious about what Jake is hiding. It is most likely the picture he was concentrating on.

"It's a surprise, Dirk…" Jake says with that bit off smile still on him. "I was drawing pretty pictures with Jadey-John… just like old times… And I made something for you…"

"For me?"

Jake nods enthusiastically.

He slowly reveals out a folded paper, showing that picture was folded in and ready to be revealed. Jake is actually bouncing on his toes. Dirk almost smiles at this. It's like that cute cliché about a kid showing his drawings to his parents, all excited and eager for half-assed praises.

"Tada~!" Jake sings out as he shows the picture he drew.

And Dirk is speechless.

Dirk was expecting John or his real niece Jade on the paper. But it wasn't. It was a shitty drawing of Jake and… him…

The orange dots that are supposedly eyes are saying it's Dirk.

The drawing has Jake and him have circles as heads, squares as bodies, and lines as limbs. Jake has green dot eyes and a smile with squiggle teeth sticking down to the ground. The Jake drawing even has a rectangle thing that's most likely a gun on one of his "hands".

The Dirk drawing has zigzags on his circle head that's most likely his hair but has no mouth. But he does have a drawn sword on him. It's not the best drawn sword, not by far, but it warms Dirk's heart –satisfaction, it gives Dirk satisfaction that Jake remembers that he likes swords.

There is no shitty background but there is a drawn dead guy with supposed pools of blood around him. That's definitely the "scoundrel" Dirk needs to help Jake kill. It's actually ironically cute.

But then there is the most surprising thing about the picture…

The Jake drawing and the Dirk drawing… they have their weird ass stick-line arm thing that isn't holding a weapon is, well… they are holding hands…

"I know my picture is very… elementary-like, Strider…" Jake murmurs, now looking…flustered…?! "I know my skills of art are quite inferior to many but… please do not laugh with insult…"

Now Dirk can't help but smile at this. This is way too ironically adorable for him. And to think that Jake can actually be flustered, Dirk really can't help but feel completely satisfied that he's the one and most likely _only_ one to see Jake flustered in here.

"I really like it, Jake. Danke."

Jake has his eyes big and wide and looks at Dirk. He blinks and narrows his eyes at Dirk. Jake then takes a step back and stops narrowing his eyes. And finally, Jake smiles.

"Oh wonderful, Dirk… you're actually telling the truth once again!" Jake giggles. "I believe you would have said something about it being drawn of a toddler or a kindergartener, Strider…"

Jake walks to Dirk and actually sits next to him. "But I do fancy your honest liking and satisfaction at my drawing… It's very… nice…"

Dirk smiles at Jake. "I wouldn't laugh, Jake. You may not have practice or skills but you drew with honesty and you did draw something that you like."

Jake looks away and then he nods and licks his lips. But Dirk can see it. Jake's ears are red…

"Say Strider," Jake begins and says out loud. "John and I had a nice conversation… We talked about some things and…" Jake rubs the back of his neck. "_Well_, I was wondering about the number of the lady you are courting…"

Now, Dirk is confused and a bit curious at this request. "Why do you want to know, Jake?"

"Well… Johnny-Jade is too young and new to get phone-call privileges and he wants to know if there is anyone that can help with a pest…" Jake answers and then looks straight at Dirk. "I believe Miss Lalonde is in a similar work and occupation to yours, is she not…?"

Dirk couldn't conceal his surprise and shock that Jake knows this. But Jake goes on.

"She must be well-trained with a rifle as certain arm muscles are well built. Her flirts can be confusing as they are coded with your actions after your meeting. And no matter what perfume she uses, there is a hint of fired shots and heated metal on her…"

Dirk says nothing. Because what can he say? Jake just showed he isn't fully oblivious to everything. And Jake just…

"I really envy her, Dirk… She is a beautiful woman, nowhere near being a scoundrel… She is free and has not got caught like me… She sparks of fun and excitement and everything I don't seem to have… She has the beauty, the curves, the softness, the roughness, and the passion that I can't seem to have… And most of all…"

Jake then does the most shocking action today…

Dirk feels utterly speechless at what Jake is doing. Jake actually has one of his hands… caressing his cheek… His thumb is rubbing softly at the edge of Dirk's lips…

And then Jake speaks.

"She has you…"

Dirk can see the sincerity in Jake. But Dirk is still utterly speechless. His face is on fire. His heart is pumping blood way too loud and quick. And his mind is seriously blank.

"Oh the things I would do to be her and–…"

However, Jake stops. His eyebrows are high and his eyes are wide. Jake immediately takes his hand off of Dirk and scoots farther away from him.

But before Dirk recovers and asks, Jake quickly goes to his top bunk with no word.

Dirk sighs. Of course it wasn't going to be easy. Maybe Jake has some sort of romantic feeling for him but there's no way Jake will return his feelings. Jake will most likely reject him and beat him up.

Dirk doesn't know what will be worse, the rejection or the beating.

Dirk looks at the folded picture Jake left. It's true that Jake cares for him…

Dirk takes the picture and presses it on his chest. Dirk sighs again.

There are still cigarettes for him to smoke. But Jake is here and... it's not exactly Dirk can easily forget what just happened.

Dirk then touches his cheek, the warmth is still there…

And there's still hope that Jake will see he didn't need Roxy at all.

Jake is the one who has Dirk.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, Dirk isn't the only one who is envying~. ;)<strong>

**Also, ForeverSnow101, it will take some time (perhaps too much time :/) to find out who killed John's father. To be honest, I'm still planning and thinking about it. But here's a hint. It's not Dirk or Dave who did it. **

**And the next chapter will be Jake. **


	26. Con XIX: Talking

**Spring Break is here for me! I have been using that free time with actually going somewhere! **

**I was at Washington D.C. with part of my marching band family to play a few tunes very close to one of the monuments! I got to go to Smithsonian museums and had a great time! XD **

**And there are two questions that I have to answer.**

**Elisablackcat, no, Jake did not kill the one who murdered his niece. He did attempt to but was, quote on quote by Convictstuck Character Bios, "caught in the middle of trying to kill the man so he never got to end it." Jake is in prison for attempted murder but he still obsesses over "finishing the job." **

**ArlkatThePillowfighter, you'll find out later. ;)**

**And if there is anyone to help me with the German translation, please tell me anything wrong. And any help is fine! All is welcome!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XIX<strong>_

_**Talking**_

* * *

><p>Idiot…<p>

Jake is an idiotic barnacle for doing that!

Dirk already has a beauty and she is far better than Jake! Why would Jake do that?

Dirk is such a wonderful friend. He promised to help Jake kill that scoundrel and listens to him. Dirk is always honest to him, never telling him lies like those retched therapists…

But Jake couldn't sleep that night…

There are thoughts going on inside him…

It was like a ghost but Jake hopes it's not. Ghosts make everything worse…

It is morning and Jake didn't really have a wink of sleep… Those thoughts kept him awake… Jake tries to not think about thoughts on Dirk. Especially those thoughts…

"Jake? Are you awake? Jake?"

Jake peeks out of his bunk bed and sees Dirk…

"Dirk…" Jake begins. "You will talk to darling Roxy, yes? …John's sweet sister has a bakery called Gutsy Gumshoe, G-U-T-S-Y and G-U-M-S-H-O-E. Remember, the scoundrel should be gone…"

"Of course, Jake, I'll do that…Anything else?"

Jake giggles. "I would like to see you before I rest…"

Dirk says nothing but Jake believes he understands. Dirk always understands... He's smart and intelligent like that. Dirk always understands... And he knows a lot of things.

"English, Strider, it's time to get out. It's breakfast time."

* * *

><p>Fortunately, Jake has no therapist. Unfortunately, Jake is rather bored. Dirk is taking his time calling and talking to the lady known as Roxy and cannot accompany Jake with the time that he has. But interesting enough, Dave is here.<p>

Jake doesn't really like Dirk's brother that much to be truthful. Dirk is honest and kind while Dave is… well, Jake can't say he's complete opposite but Jake can say that he hasn't seen much of honesty and kindness in Dave for Jake to really like him… There are times but…

"Strider… why are you here…? You're usually not here during this time…"

Dave does a two-finger salute greeting and a nod. "Sup English, I'm just doing a bit of a side mission, das ist alles."

"The escape…?"

"Ja."

Jake nods and licks his teeth. He stares at Dave for a while… he's not that blurry…

"Say English," Dave interrupts the silence. "What do you think about Dirk?"

Jake blinks and then takes a step back. Dave is less blurry and Jake can see that Dave is curious but there is something hidden in him…

"Dirk is a great friend and companion…" Jake answers. "He has made this present part of life better… I feel I'm in debt with him even if the deed has not been done…"

For some reason, Dave chuckles at this. "I'm sure Dirk would be happy with what you said. Maybe you can show it through _actions~_."

"Actions? What the frig do you mean, David? I tell and remind him of his worthiness almost daily. I give portions of food and orange juice when the opportunity comes. I retrieve cigarettes and lighters for him. And I keep his lips wet."

Dave stops his smirking and stares with one eyebrow raised. "Warten, did you just said 'keep his lips wet'? You kissed him?"

Jake immediately scowls. "What gobbledygook are you saying! Your brother is courting a lady! I keep his lips wet –it's no such thing like kissing!"

"Well, my definition of kissing is any lip contact and you seem to contact with his."

"How about you kiss my fist when I punch you." Jake growls.

Dave frowns and does the wise decision of not going further with his ridiculous assumption. Good… Dave may not understand but at least he isn't trying to prove nonsense. Dave can act and behave well if he wants to. And that reminds Jake…

"So here my question to you, David…" Jake begins as he narrows his eyes. "What is your thought and feelings on dear John…?"

Dave stares at Jake for a while… and he looks away. Jake leans back and he can see the blush on Dave's cheeks.

"John did make a picture…" Jake says. "It was a fan art of your two characters… Sweet Brother and Hell Jeff…"

"Actually, it's–"

"You fancy him, Strider… You have romantic feelings for John…" Jake can easily see that Dave tenses up at this. Of course, Dave didn't suspect Jake can see and find things…

"English, I–"

"Let me speak, Strider." Jake speaks out and looks at Dave at best as he can. "I've seen your behavior and there were times that I got suspicion… I saw your reaction to his kisses, Strider. I saw your eyes… your smile… your honest happiness…"

Dave says nothing…

"I may want someone better for her but… that is not my decision, it is his…"

Dave looks up with wide, shocked eyes. "English… are you saying… that…"

"If she chooses you, I'll let him choose you… He is old enough to make his decisions. And I know I must accept on who he likes…" Jake sighs and closes his eyes. "If you really like him… Let him choose and accept you… And I'll let you…"

Jake opens his eyes and waits.

"…Wow English… I mean, heilige scheiße, this is –I, uh…"

"I have two requests though…"

Dave blinks with a confused frown. Jake can't exactly pinpoint what Dave is feeling and what that could mean… Jake did give an approval but Jake wants to have some conditions…

"One," Jake raises his index finger up and shows it to Dave. "I want no manipulation… no abuse… no _pressure_… It must be mutual and it must be _consensual_."

"Okay, let John love me by himself. _Pff_, that's leicht. My Strider charms will help."

Jake rolls his eyes at this. It's… interesting of Dave's confidence. But Dave keeps repeating as if he needs reassurance. Jake can't be really sure if Dave is prideful or insecure. But his repeating reassurance has made Jake have a semi-immediate action that is rolling his eyes.

"So what's the second?" Dave asks.

Jake doesn't immediately answer. He walks to Dave.

Jake has his eyes very narrowed that it's actually stinging. But Jake wants to stare and see Dave's face. After Jake gets near enough, he immediately grabs Dave's shoulders and let their foreheads collide with each other. Jake hears Dave curse at this but it is not primary. He has to make sure…

"The second one…" Jake breathes out. "When you get… intimate with John…" Jake takes a big sigh out.

"…Please make sure he screams your name out loud and clear…"

Jake doesn't really know what to expect on the reaction of the second condition. But it did not surprise Jake that Dave has his eyes big and wide while his jaw is slacked. This is the expression of a blank yet conflicting mind. Really, that isn't a surprise.

"…Ach Was?! Are you _fucking_ with me? Really, bist du? Because you just – heilige Mutter ficken fuck! Man kann nicht dein Ernst sein!"

"Strider," Jake does a quick shake on Dave's shoulders. "This is necessary. You need to make John say your name! Scream, howl, sing, yell, groan, moan–I don't care! …That is the second condition. And if you somehow can't, say his name and maybe later, learn how to be a better lover in bed."

"Excuse me? Striders are ironically good lovers. We know how to get things go on, all night long if we want to." Dave then nods. "Fine… I agree on your stupid conditions… I, um, too want it to be… mutual…"

Jake stares at Dave with much focus he can muster. Dave is blushing with heat and redness being very conspicuous… His eyes are showing honesty and his body shows no sign of lying…

…Huh…

Jake smiles, giggles, and lets Dave go.

"Alright then, Dave… good luck and no foul acting or else I'll bite your hands off…"

* * *

><p>Time had passed again and now Jake is with dear and sweet Jadey-John.<p>

He did not see much of Dirk or Dave as the day goes on. Of course, both of them are most likely doing their side missions. Sometimes Jake had his side missions and Jake likes them since they are like little adventures. But this is nice, very nice…

"So, uh, Jake, how are you? Just carry those boxes and put them there."

"I am very well…And yes, Jade…"

Jake helps carry food from place to place. It didn't really weigh much but it's something to help and do with Jadey-John. It really is nice to bond with her again…

"So, Jake…" John speaks out, beginning a conversation. "Um, I need an opinion on something…"

"What is it, John? I'll speak truthfully."

"…It's about Dave…"

Jake looks at John, luckily for enough to see John is not afraid or frightened by him but… worried…

"What about Dave…?"

John does not immediately answer. He takes a slow deep breath in… and then sighs. He puts down the box he was carrying and sits on it. Jake waits, if he needs some time, Jake will give it all.

John licks his lips and sighs again. "I think Dave likes me… like really, _really_ likes me… I don't know what to think about it though –I mean, he protects me from guys and keep, um…"

Jake narrows his eyes a little to see the blush on John. It is very adorable…

"Well… there was this group that was making fun of me and was ready to beat me up or something and Dave… well, he put his arm around my shoulder and said something… interesting…"

"What did he say…? Is it horrendous? Should I break his hand off…?"

"No!" John immediately answers. "It didn't really offend me at all! It just… it made me think…"

"May I know what it is? It seems to be bothering you a tad bit…"

John's blush turns redder and slightly bigger. "…He said… 'Hands off boys, this one is mine.' I mean –maybe I'm being stupid and overthinking this –but I almost think that maybe, just maybe, Dave isn't really joking around when he says stuff like that to me…" John rubs the back of his head with both hands. "I'm honestly scared…"

"Scared…? Are you sure I can't bite his hands off?"

"No! It's not about Dave! It's about me!"

Now Jake is confused and curious. And John looks embarrassed… His blush is conspicuously bigger and redder. His shoulders are hunched up. His blue eyes are looking down to the ground…

"…I'm scared to really, _really_ like someone…"

Jake tilts his head. "Is it because he's male?"

"Again, no," Fortunately, John rolls his eyes at his question. "I'll trust you with this information. Promise me you won't tell anyone, okay."

"I promise…"

John takes a deep breath out. "…Well… I-I'm gay…"

"Is it really that bad?" Jake questions. It must be a conflicting question though as John looks away. For some reason, he looks… guilty…

"I don't know, Jake… I used to deny it but it began to hurt… And when I came out, it hurts other people…"

"Being attracted to the same gender and sex shouldn't hurt people…"

"Well, it somehow does with me and I still got hurt from coming out too…" John puts his hand on his hair, combing it back and let it rest near his forehead. "Love is pretty much… _shitty_ really. What, with the heartbreaking…"

Jake frowns at this. Did she really have her heart broken…? It is a vile and destructing pain that no one likes. Jake swears he'll break Dave is he ever succeeds doing that…

"I believe it is most likely mutual if you like him, John…"

"Yeah, but for how long?"

Jake is surprised at that response. He did not think that was what he was going to say. Jake can see John's face is altered to one of wanting an answer to the question. But…Jake really doesn't have an answer for that…

"…I do not know…" Jake answers. "Love…is where your heart hurts when they are gone… That is what I learned the most about it… Yet…"

"Yet…?"

"Their love, any love, is somehow worth living too…" Jake answers. "Jade… I loved –no, I still love her even after her demise…" Jake can't help but look away. "I still live to exact her revenge… to bring justice on her unfair death…"

Jake can't help but… choke out a giggle. It is rather… irony that Jake is saying this to John… Jake doesn't really–

"Jake… do you really think it's worth it…?" John asks. "I mean, I don't even know if he likes guys like that…"

"I believe I can say that David does indeed fancy men from that one memory of him saying that he is "hella gay" after trying to reason with me why Bill Murray is not attractive after watching Groundhog Day… I still think Garfield is a good movie though, no matter what they say..."

Fortunately, John snickers at this. That is good… Laughter is always good…

And there is more fortune as John is in a happier mood… There is still nerves going inside of John but that's natural. At least Jake made Jadey-John feel better. And John nods, as if agreeing with Jake that Garfield is a good movie. That's great… the Striders don't understand good movies all the time when they're watching one…

"What about you and Dirk? How's your relationship going?"

"Relationship…? Jade–"

"Please don't tell me that you guys aren't dating –I thought you guys are dating." John immediately panics. Oh no… "Shit –I'm sorry. I didn't –I thought–"

"_John_, please calm down…" Jake tries to reassure. "Dirk and I… we have a strong platonic relationship, that's it… Why would you believe that…?"

Jake laughs out in an uncomfortable manner… "It's just… well, you two seem to care about each other a lot and… I thought you guys were, uh, dating…"

Jake is very surprised.

And John continues. "I mean, I saw you guys, uh… Well, did you guys ever made out or something like that? You guys pretty much have a good chemistry. You should really try it."

Jake can't help but somehow feel heat on his cheeks.

Really…?

Make out…?

…Oh dear…

* * *

><p>Jake doesn't know what to really think about the suggestion Jade made.<p>

He did help with Johnny-Jade with all the boxes, trying to think about the suggestion. John doesn't speak that much but seems very friendly to the lunch ladies with surprisingly witty jokes. Jake can't almost believe that it was her. Jade never did learn that type of humor. She loves slapstick… But Jake didn't have any reason to be around the kitchen… He left…

And now he's here in the cell…with Dirk…

Should he really…"make out" with Dirk? Dirk is with Roxy… Roxy is the perfect woman and lady, Dirk deserves the best! And for Jake to disrupt that relationship…

Jake knows he is a scoundrel, a complete scoundrel, but he will not do something so… so… so foul…! But Jadey-John said Jake should try it… And maybe… just maybe…

"Jake? Are you okay? You look like–"

"_Dirk_, did you talk to Roxy, Miss Lalonde?"

Dirk doesn't look like he wants to talk about Roxy… He is actually frowning…

"…She said she'll take care of the guy…" Dirk answers. "But seriously, Jake, are you–"

"_Dirk_, please answer me this…" Jake can't help but interrupt. He had to do this… "How much do you miss her…? Her touch? Her kisses? Please tell me that, Dirk… I want to know…"

Dirk looks so confused and so… deleterious on his own self…

"…I guess I miss her a lot…" Dirk answers. "I can touch her during the visits she's here and…"

"Would she be angered and devastated if you used… a substitute…?"

Dirk doesn't look at Jake. He has his arms crossed and his head down low… But Jake has to know… He doesn't know why but he has to know…!

"…I don't know why you want to know, Jake… If Dave said something…"

"He did not…"

Dirk takes a look at Jake and goes back to staring down at the ground. Jake can hear Dirk breathing in through his nose… and parting his mouth for a quiet and long sigh…

"No…" Dirk replies. "No, she wouldn't be angered or sad… She actually would–"

Jake did not think. It was like a blur… It was conscious yet unconscious…

Jake takes steady steps towards Dirk and has his hands grab Dirk's head. Before Dirk says a word about his sudden actions, Jake takes advantage of Dirk's parted mouth. He pulls Dirk very close and kisses him. Both lips made contact and there is a small click of teeth.

But it seems Dirk quickly gets it and knows what to do. It seemed immediate that Dirk's hands are on Jake. One is on his shoulder. The other is on the back of Jake's head, pushing them closer…

There was movement… There was activity… There was combat… They are both in each other's mouth…

Jake keeps one hand on Dirk's hair, feeling the incredible softness and lushness of it. Nails and tips of his fingers are massaging and gently scraping Dirk's scalp. The other hand goes lower, the thumb rubbing at Dirk's jawline while the rest of the hand is caressing part of his neck. And Jake can taste it, the addicting nicotine…

Jake shudders. There was… there was something lascivious about this…

It was… it is sensual… lecherous… libidinous… wanton–

Jake shoves Dirk away and tries to contain his breathing. Jake can feel himself panting as he stares at Dirk's conspicuous surprised and most likely shocked expression. But Jake somehow does not feel the rightful guilt of his action…

Of course…Jake realizes it…

"Jake…?"

"…Apologies Dirk…" Jake squeaks. "Though you have your partner that is Miss Lalonde… use me as a substitute until we are free…"

"Jake, I…"

"Please do so, Dirk…"

It takes some time before Dirk nods, giving his hesitant agreement.

Jake immediately gives Dirk a hug. He can smell the familiar soap and foreign scent of him…

Of course, Dirk then hugs him back…

Jake can't believe that he realized it now.

He is in lust with Dirk…

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, Jake is in denial about loving Dirk. I see Jake in this AU as this supposed psycho who subconsciously denies things like love and that therapists can be female. There are psychos in movies, books, and other entertainment things that show that one very particular trait where they are very, very, <strong>_**very**_** stubborn with what they think and believe in a particular issue, lesson, way of life, etc. **

**Of course, next chapter, it's about John and his little thing going on with a particular red-eyed assassin. ;3 **


	27. Con XX: Developing

**Well, spring break is over and it's back to school. :(**

**But hey, a great friend of mine had invited me to a hockey game on Saturday and I am now a fan. XD**

**Hockey is pretty cool and very intense to watch live and be an audience member. I had a lot of fun. **

**I hope all you guys have a great spring break!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XX<strong>_

_**Developing**_

* * *

><p>John can't say he's… used to the prison life. But he can say that his cellmate is making it far from being worse. He's making a lot more bearable and making life of prison not like what John learned.<p>

Dave is a pretty cool guy. And he actually likes the Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff picture!

And there are more than his looks and his… junk that John can see in Dave. Not t-that John is thinking about Dave's dick all the time! He just remembers it at times. And there's more about Dave than about his… length and girth.

Dave is secretly a dork! John knows a dork when he sees one!

And they are getting along! John can talk to Dave without feeling that there's a chance he would beat him up –though he's a bit… flirty to John. Many of his compliments are like flirts and boy, John first thought Dave was joking and it was his unique sense of humor. And John can tell now, it's not.

Dave would always in a way touch him. It's not inappropriate or uncomfortable but it's really noticeable. Dave had his hand on his shoulder, his arm, the top of his head, or his upper back. And he doesn't really touch anyone else as much, even his brother!

And there are fights that John keeps hearing… John isn't exactly invisible. There are guys who make fun of him. John knows he's not that attractive with his teeth, hair, and derpy face. And there are really weird ones who keep talking about punching his butt or "pounding his ass." But it is very coincidental that all of those guys soon leave him alone and Dave has a bruise or two on him. Sometimes, John has to take Dave to the infirmary and find more that are hidden.

And maybe, just maybe, John is getting some… certain, specific feelings for him…

But it's only a crush! It's just a crush! That's all!

And seriously, Dave is an assassin or at least was an assassin but he's still a murderer! Dad was…

"Hey John, come on up. I got something I need to show you."

John can't help but blush a little. Great, he first thought of Dave's dick but Dave definitely didn't mean it like that! Really, he should get his mind out of the gutter. John does get up the top bunk and sees Dave fully clothed. Yup, he definitely should get his mind out of the gutter.

"Okay, I'm here." John says as he fully gets on there and tries to sit comfortably. "What is it that you want me to see?"

Dave smirks and… gets out a bunch of paper.

"I made some Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comics. Prepare to face the irony in hand."

John rolls his eyes on this. Yup, Dave is definitely a dork. But John takes the comics and reads. Though he is a bit familiar to Dave's way of… art, it still weirds him out. And with these comics, John gets even more weirded out. This sense of humor… it's very random.

"So, what do you think, John?"

"Uh… it's… great…?"

Dave chuckles. "Oh, really?"

"Um, yeah… it has a lot of… color…"

"Is it really that great? I really wanted it to suck."

John looks at Dave. "Really?!"

"Well duh," Dave answers. But with him rolling his eyes and still smirking is showing that he isn't fully serious. "People want to make and see some average-looking part while I train to craft shitty and ironic comics and art, the one people see in kids' doodles."

John giggles and rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say, Picasso."

Dave is silent at first for a couple of seconds and then he chuckles and bumps his shoulder with John's.

"Didn't know you were such a sass master, Liebling."

John smiles at this. It is nice that another can appreciate the "Egbert sassiness" as Vriska describes it. John bumps his shoulder back at Dave's.

"Please Dave, I'm the pranking master."

Dave actually laughs at this. He even puts his arm around John's shoulder.

"Pranking master, huh? I would like to help. Who knows, I don't have to kill someone to be entertained." Dave says. John can't help but tense at this. "…John…?"

John looks away. Shit, he shouldn't have tensed up. John almost forgot about the assassin thing. If only Dave wasn't that…

"It's nothing, Dave… I think I'm just tired, that's all…" John answers. "I think I need to… go back to my bunk."

John doesn't look at Dave at all when he gets down. John knows that it was a dick move he did. But he needs to think. John may have a teensy-weensy crush on Dave but John has been in relationships, especially _bad_ relationships, and Dave was a killer.

Dave really is great but being in jail and having seen… the corpse, John just needs time to think…

* * *

><p><em>John can't help but moan when a hand presses on his ass. His heartbeat is quick and thundering. The other hand is ghosting lower and lower to the front of his body. The only sound that seems to echo is his heartbeat. <em>

_There's a voice that chuckled…_

_It said something but John can't really interpret…_

_John has his arms around a neck… strong… addicting… somehow familiar…_

_John mouths the neck. He first dabs it with his tongue, taking a big yet slow swipe from the broad shoulder to the strong jaw. John can feel the body shiver and the voice moans deeply to John's ear… John feels himself smiling, smirking even, as he begins kissing the neck. John tries to find and succeeds in getting sensitive spots and areas. _

_Feeling braver, John at first grazes with his teeth before full-on biting._

_The body tenses at first for a second before it relaxes. And then it definitely relaxes. John sucks on the area, wanting to leave a big, dark mark on him. The body approves as one hand squeezes his ass cheek and the other grabs his…_

_John shivers and groans that he bites a bit harder._

_The voice whispers something to John. It's dirty, filthy, and arousing… John can't remember what the voice says but John wants more, he needs more. John says something back, cooing something dirty, filthy, and wanting back. Oh yes, he wants it John wants it alright._

_The body immediately responds after what John had to say. Strong, rough hands push John down. John groans at the force and power delivered on him. The body is towered over John, dominating him. John pants as he stares back at those eyes. _

_Those hands were off his shoulders and are on his legs. Fingers are ghosting or gripping at his thighs, teasing John. Both somehow know John wants more. _

_The hands begin to spread John's legs apart. John can feel himself blush harder and resists as he tries to close his legs together. But the voice chuckles and then the mouth get near to John's inner thigh. A pink muscle pokes out and licks the inner thigh, sending a tickling yet sensational feeling. Teeth are shown as they first scrape the sensitive skin before they bite and suck a very sensitive area. _

_John doesn't think as he uses both of his hands to cover his mouth, trying to quiet his moan. He doesn't resist as those hands depart his legs wide open. John can feel it, the foreign yet familiar thing just barely touching what's between them. And John can feel the staring of those eyes, those wonderful red eyes…_

"_John~…" Dave coos before he–_

* * *

><p>John wakes up. He gasps for cold air and stares out at nothing.<p>

Did he just…

...Holy _shit_…!

John just dreamed Dave and him actually having…

Sure, Dave is a very attractive man and is some hot dork on the inside but Dave has killed people. It didn't matter if Dave only killed bad people, people are people. Dad was questionable with his actions involving with the business. But he isn't exactly bad. Dad would try to make John happy with anything.

Dad had been there for the majority of his life. Sure, John sometimes doesn't like what Dad at times but he never wanted him to… Oh god…

John shifts around and breathes out a sigh. It seems he'll never get used to it. Dad never deserved to be… gone… Maybe John should–

"…John…"

Immediately, John tenses up.

Dave…?

John looks to see the room –cell is very dark. Then why would Dave be awake? And what does he want with–

"John… Fuck…"

…Oh…

John can feel his heart accelerating again and the heat is getting more intense back.

Well, he definitely wasn't' suspecting Dave to have a very… similar dream…

"John… Scheiße… Du… Liebe…" Dave groans out in his sleep. John can feel himself get more and more uncomfortable…

His erection is starting up again and is slightly hurting him. John tries not to move so much but tries to make him more comfortable. John really doesn't know what to do. He can't exactly… masturbate in here.

John wishes Dave could wake up and–

John tries to hold his breath as he can hear Dave gasp and pants out. That easily shows that he's awake. Oh boy, John just has to wait for Dave to –wait! What is Dave doing?! Is D-Dave actually–

"F-Fuck… John…"

John covers his mouth with both hands as he can feel more awkward and very warm. He can hear his heart beat really hard and quick. But he can still hear Dave actually…

John tries not to hear to hear Dave moving his arm to do _that_ and actually… saying his name…

"Fuck, John… Say it… Say you want me and –F-Fuck!"

John curls himself, trying not to make a sound and try not to hurt himself with his erection. He can't exactly masturbate and he can't let Dave know that he's actually hearing this…

Dave actually has those sorts of feelings for John since it is definitely showing right now…

But Dave isn't finished just yet. John can hear it going quicker and louder. John really wants release or something. Seriously, what is John supposed to do with what's going on now?

Dave is jacking off to John. Dave doesn't know John is actually hearing this. Dave is an assassin. Dave had killed people before. Dave is a killer. Dave doesn't know John didn't kill his dad. Dave is–

"J-John…"John feels his heart beating so loud as if it stopped.

Dave… He… Dave actually said his name so… sincerely…

John does a quiet sigh and stares outside of his cell.

Dave is a dork. Dave doesn't think his eyes are cool and rare while keeps saying lies about them being horrible. Dave does know how to draw but wants to draw shitty pictures to be "ironic". Dave would say flirty things to him while he was fighting a guy who wants to beat him up. Dave would throw a rock at the wall but has his attention fully on John when he notices that John had entered. Dave would give compliments and flirts to him any time he has and–

Almost like an echo, Dave moans out a bit too loud as he finishes while it ghosts on John.

Yeah, John isn't getting any sleep…

And maybe, just maybe…

This thing between them will develop more…

* * *

><p><strong>And thus the end of this chapter, there will be interesting interactions with John and Dave in the future. <strong>

**Speaking of which, John's birthday is coming soon! ****April 13 is getting close and I thought that except for hurrying and/or forcing a birthday chapter or a one-shot, I could answer some questions involving with this fanfiction. **

**Either from PMing me or putting it on a review, you guys can ask what you want to know. However, there will be a few questions that I will decline. Such as: "Who killed John's Dad?" or "Who killed Jade?" But I will try to answer any question you guys have without spoiling anything much. **

**And if you guys can't do it on April 13 due to any reasons, you can ask them right now until 12:01 AM, April 14. Hope to get to answer any question that you guys have! **

**Next chapter is a Pro with Dave! **


	28. Pro VIII: Satisfaction

**Well, the whole asking questions thing wasn't as big as I thought it could be but hey, at least I did get some questions. So thank you ArlkatThePillowfighter and anon cat for your questions. **

**ArlkatThePillowfighter: Just for you, yes. :)**

**Dirk is indeed his tech-savvy individual self but I am sorry for not showing it as much in this story. I guess I got lazy in mentioning that. But Dirk does have limited tech use in prison and has used technology as an advantage for missions. Like the silencer in Pro II or Pro VII where he spoke with Hal are two examples I put. But I will try to mention it more now. **

**As for Karkat's whereabouts, he is actually trying to find out what's truly going on with John's arrest and crime. But he's trying not to make himself conspicuous so no danger goes to him or anyone he cares about. **

**And anon cat: Terezi is a lawyer who dated Dave and then had an abusive relationship with Gamzee Makara. But she's now fiancé to Karkat and is recovering from the abusive relationship. She is still the justice-seeking, red-loving person who uses her cane as a weapon. **

**Hopefully I gave you two the answers that you're both okay with and now, Dave. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro VIII: Satisfaction <strong>_

* * *

><p>Dave doesn't really smoke but he tries not to cough as he does the classic and ironic smoking after sex thing.<p>

He lost his virginity with the hot, sexy lady that Bro got him. However, Dave doesn't exactly know what to feel exactly. He just lost his virginity but he doesn't feel…

"Hey, are you okay?" The lady asks. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Dave looks at the sexy lady and then there's her rack…

"It's nothing," Dave answers as he tries to talk with the cigarette still in his mouth. "But can you please have your bra on. It's a bit cold here."

The lady at first stares at him, as if she can't believe that he said that. But Dave can feel it being shitty cold. Then the lady nods and does put her bra on and luckily, she puts on the rest of her clothes. That's nice. And it's totally ironic.

She then looks at Dave, as if waiting for him to say something.

"Hey, are you okay with cuddling?" Dave asks.

The lady nods. She actually gets on the bed and puts the blanket over both of them. And fortunately, she puts her arm around his waist and put her head on his chest. Dave can't help but smile. Even though he doesn't know what to really feel about losing his virginity, Dave likes cuddling. Cuddling is ironic.

"So," The lady begins. "Are you okay? Do you feel satisfied?"

Dave doesn't immediately answer.

Instead, he remembers.

* * *

><p>"<em>You fucking fuckers! You sick bitches! You'll fucking rot in prison!"<em>

_Dave begins to like more and more of the sobbing victim than this douche. Then again, Bro finally shot him when he tried to escape. But this one keeps cursing and yelling like a bitch. Thank god that Bro got all of them to the warehouse or else the neighbors would have called the cops._

"_Look asshole, all three of us want to know where your asshole of a boss is. Just fucking cooperate already. You're seriously acting like a bitch."_

_The man stays silent for a second, glaring at Bro, before yelling again. "No! Fuck you! That blonde bimbo bitch needs to get fucking shot and fucked! She betrayed that damn gang, that damn so-called family! Because of her, we're in this fucking shit!"_

_Bro shakes his head. He stares at the screaming man for a few seconds before he speaks to both Dave and Dirk in German. "Guys, make this shithead talk." _

_Dirk immediately nods while Dave can't help but stare at Bro. Because if Dave was guessing this right, and he hope he is, Bro has given them…their __**first**__ mission. Holy Scheiße, this is fucking ehrfürchtige! _

"_Okay bastard," Dirk begins. "Stop your bitching and talk. We get that some lady ditch a bunch of people and that your shit is wrecked but we need the destination of your boss."_

_The man spits out a messy and big snot of blood near Dirk's shoe. "Go fuck yourself, bastard."_

_Dirk doesn't show any emotion and simply crosses his arms. "You are just fucking yourself up, dude. You can simply tell us and we'll let you go and get that bleeding nose some treatment. It's that simple."_

"_No, it's fucking __**not**__! People will be after my ass! The fucking English family! The fucking Exiles! The fuck Felt! Hell, the damn Midnight Crew will want my fucking head on a fucking platter!" _

_What the fuck does this guy have? Seriously, what's so important about his boss? Or this mystery blonde lady? Dave doesn't really care. He's waiting for his turn._

"_Oh really? What does this boss of yours have that got all the bad boys bothered?" Dirk asks. _

_The man spits another snot of blood near Dirk's shoe. "Like I give that shit to you, porcupine!" _

_Dirk frowns and steps away. He looks at Dave with a nod. Finally, it's Dave's turn! _

_Dave tries not to smile as he walks in front of the tied up man. This is it. This is his chance to impress his brothers. This is where Dave shows that he is the true and authentic Strider he is. This–_

_A sudden, sharp pain strike at Dave's at Dave's chin. He feels himself taking a few steps back but not falling down. It hurts. But Dave has to proceed. He can't give up. He has to prove himself. Dave tries to blink as much as he can to get his vision back to normal. His chin feels fucking shit but he's still conscious. Even though something feels… different…_

"…_Holy fucking shit! They're red!"_

_Oh no… the shades! Fuck, Dave can't go looking for them now! That shows weakness! _

_And the bastard laughs at him…_

"_Haha! Oh my fucking God! This is fucking priceless! You fuckers have a fucking demon with you! Ha! Fucking hilarious!"_

_Dave can feel himself getting very, __**very**__ pissed off… His eyes are ironic. His eyes are cool. _

"_What the fuck –does this fucked up spawn actually showing he's fucking sad? Ha! That's fucking great! The thing actually has fucking feelings! Oh my fucking god! Hahaha!" _

_They're cool. They're ironic. They're better than this fucker's existence! _

"_Hey," Bro said, silencing the laughter of the bastard. Dave could feel that he's right behind him… "Don't you dare fucking say anything to him." _

_Of course, the bastard laughs._

"_**Really**__? You're telling me to shut the fuck up because Satan's little monster goes boo-fucking-hoo?"_

_The man tilts his head, ready to laugh and–_

_**Shing!**_

_**Shunk!**_

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MOTHER-FU–AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"_

_Dave doesn't care how loud the man is. He shoves Bro's sword deeper…_

"_AAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAGH! STOP! FUCKING –AGH! I'LL TALK! I'LL TAAAAAALK!"_

"_Oh really!" Dave yells out. "Then talk! Fucking talk, you bastard!"_

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HE'S –ACK! HE'S AT THE –Ugh! THE FUCKING GENTLMEN'S CLUB! HE'S AT THE CLUB! CLUB DOLLHOUSE HAREM! FUCK! AAAAAAGH!"_

"_Dave," Bro speaks out. "We got the info. That's enough. You can get the sword out of his junk now."_

_But Dave doesn't do what Bro said. He shoves the sword deeper…_

_Bro doesn't do anything as the guy screams even louder. Blood is spurting out and getting on Dave. But Dave doesn't care. This fucker needs to suffer. __**All**__ of them deserve to suffer! They all deserve to be fucking punished!_

"_Dave. __**Stop**__."_

_Dave does stop. He looks behind and up at Bro's face._

"_He's dead, Dave. Can't get info from a dead guy." But then Bro smirks. "But you got what I needed. And we don't need to hear any of his bitching. Thanks, little man." _

_Dave can hear Dirk huff and mumble. "At least close your mouth when you're smiling though. Don't want you to become some cannibal if blood gets in your mouth constantly." _

_Dave nods and chuckles. _

_For some reason, he feels very, very happy…_

* * *

><p>Dave looks at the lady after finally getting his answer.<p>

"…I just have more fun with my other sword."

"Other sword?"

"Yeah, it's gutsier and more screaming. I'm used to it… And I kind of like it."

It seems the lady is thing about what Dave is saying as she stares at him. She then puts her head on his chest.

"So…" She begins. "Do you think you can use that… sword of yours to… do something with my boss?"

Dave smirks and nuzzles into the strawberry and apple smelling hair.

"Sure," Dave answers. "I get to relieve most of my frustration that way."

* * *

><p><strong>The next chapter is going to have interactions with John and Dave. It happens after last night when John heard the very interesting noise. Of course, Dave doesn't know. <strong>

**But I'll be working with the second chapter of "The Red Lily in the Violet Valley" as well as some one-shots. **

**The next chapter will be in the perspective of Dave's. **


	29. Con XXI: Cooking

**Thank you everyone for making this fanfiction have 200 reviews! **

**And congratulations, ForeverSnow101, you have given me my 200th review and for that, you get to have a one-shot of your pairing with your idea as the plot. You can either type it what you want in a review or PM it to me. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXI<strong>_

_**Cooking**_

* * *

><p>"…Englith, Thtrider, Thtrider, Egbert," Captor lists out and looks at them. "You're kitchen duty."<p>

Dave can't help but roll his eyes. He can't believe he got kitchen duty. No one likes kitchen duty. Luckily, Sollux is the officer to "patrol" them. They can "borrow" something from here.

Dave waits for the other prisoners to leave as he's here with his brother, his brother's psycho lover, and the cutie, John~. Maybe he can get his flirt on with his adorable cellmate~.

But as the last obnoxious prisoner finally leaves, John is… not here?! What the–

"Now, put it there, Johnny. Don't want these backs breaking any time soon."

"Yes, ma'am."

Dave turns his head and sees John in the kitchen already and carrying a box somewhere. There's an ultimate cute smile on him. Dave just has to be close to him. Dirk can hang out with his boyfriend, Dave is getting his flirt on~.

Dave strides to the kitchen while John is 180 degrees away from him and is distracted.

Oh~, John is leaning down and has his luscious ass in the air. It would be a sin not to touch such an open and glorious target~. Dave got his hand ready, wide and open, as he–

_Smack!_

"Au!" Dave shouts out. He retracts his hand as he looks at the glaring old lunch lady with the offending spatula. What the fuck?! Why would–

"Hey Dave, could you carry that here?"

Dave blinks and looks at the cute expression John is making. Dave gives his charming smirk. "Of course, liebling~."

Success, John blushes at–

_Smack!_

Ow!

Of course, the lunch lady is seriously getting on his nerves…

"Camila, it's alright. Dave is a friend." John reassures the lady. Then something happened. He's speaking another language to her! Whoa, Dave didn't suspect that. Dave just looks as John keeps speaking in a language that isn't English or German to the lunch lady.

And whatever he's saying to her must be pretty good since she's giggling now.

"Okay, you," She whips that spatula at him. "Help him."

Dave just nods.

And she talks to John for a while and _finally_, she leaves.

Dave tilts his head a little and smirks coolly at John. "So, bilingual much?"

John actually smiles at this. "Yeah, I sort of know Spanish. It's pretty great. They have the best jokes and stories whenever I'm here. And they're a great crowd too!"

"Huh, didn't know you could learn so fast."

"Actually…" John licks his kissable lips. "I learned it from some books and a really, really great friend…" Then he giggles. "She had a lot of good jokes too."

Dave can feel his smirk turning more into a smile. Goddamn, his happiness is such an addiction…

"But come on, Dave, we got to start cooking."

Dave blinks at this. Did he say…

"Cooking?"

"Yeah, cooking," John responds. "If we want to get started, we should hurry up a little."

Dave couldn't help but chuckle at this. He spent a very good amount of time in prison to know that prison food will truly and always taste like Scheiße no matter what. But John is actually giving him a look.

"Was? Prison food here is shit. That's no lie."

"It will be _the_ shit after I'm done."

Dave looks at him with a raised eyebrow. What makes John so sure that when they cook, it will actually taste like something other than crap? Cute as John is, he should learn that no matter what anyone does to the food won't make it even at least half appetizing.

"Dave, just trust me. I actually listened to the cooks I had. And the maids made sure I remember some good recipes. And my friend helped me too."

Huh, Dave almost forgot about John being rich. That is the reason how he joined the group. But Dave is still not convinced about the whole cooking thing. From what Dave learned from experience, rich people barely do anything for themselves except try to get more money.

"Are you sure about cooking, Egbert?"

Then something surprising happened. John is actually _smirking_!

"Are you sure you're not afraid, Strider?"

Holy Scheiße, Dave is getting roused. John is definitely not an innocent angel and Dave likes it. John definitely has more than a cute side on him. This easily means more things John has that's very attractive~.

"I'm not afraid of anything, liebling~." Dave coos. "You know, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together."

Dave gives himself a pat on the back in his mind as he can see John smiling and blushing at this.

"Oh my god, Dave," John laughs out and being all flustered. "That's so cheesy."

Dave actually smiles. The pick-up line is indeed cheesy but very ironic. And John's smile is ironically infectious. He's like a fresh breath to the dull and shitty life of prison.

"Come on Dave, you can boil some water. If you think you can do that of course."

Dave chuckles and rolls his eyes. He really likes this. "Maybe not, John, maybe I can cause a radioactive explosion and have all of us all killed by the embarrassment of death by exploding hot water. Who knows, John, who actually knows?"

John is trying not to laugh but the pink-red cheeks and the smile that is bigger than the hands covering it is showing his epic and adorable fail. It really is nice with what they're doing now. Huh, who knew that people can have fun by talking?

"Come on Dave, you can just stare and watch the water. I'll have my friends help with the difficult stuff."

Dave raises an eyebrow. "Friends? You mean the lunch ladies?"

"They have awesome stories, dude. I mean, Camila told me this story about the time when this asshole tried to take advantage of her so she switched their drinks and got the guy unconscious, naked, and completely embarrassed. And there's that one time where she got revenge with an ex by having neither regions smelling like meat. Man, when she told me about the dogs though…" John giggles. "And they have some of the best jokes, too!"

"Really? Like what?"

John thinks about it and then says a joke. But he's saying it in Spanish. Only the lunch ladies seem to be laughing out loud at the end. John just "smiles."

"Don't worry Dave," John reassures with a mischievous smile. "I'll tell you later."

Dave can't help but chuckle. "You know, a guy can really fall for you, John."

However, that seems to be the wrong line to say. John's reaction is widened eyes and then looks away with a sad look on his face. Oh Scheiße, Dave fucked up. Did Dave remind John something bad? Fuck, he really doesn't want to hurt John.

"Hey, I didn't mean–"

"It's okay, Dave. You didn't do anything wrong. I just… I need to think about something." John says. "It's about something with what's going on, that's all."

Dave hums and nods. He rally hopes he didn't fail and ruin everything. He looks out of the kitchen, seeing a bunch of prisoners. There is Ampora adjusting his neck brace thing, a fatass being lazy as fuck, Makara going to the bathroom to try to get high again, and Captor nowhere. And Dirk is with Jake and most likely playing with some of the wires.

Hopefully whatever John is thinking about, whether it's this mystery recipe or the mystery something, he'll make a good decision. Speaking of which…

"Hey John, do you still need help?"

Those blue eyes are now looking at him and blink only a couple of times. They definitely show the emotion of surprise and at least a positive feeling. Then, John smiles.

"Yeah… you can carry that near there. Thanks Dave." John walks to where the lunch ladies are, already speaking Spanish to them.

Dave sighs. He wishes he could be successful with the whole seducing thing. The whole thing with seduction is pretty damn hard than what Dave thought it would be. But Dave is way in too deep to quit and give up. To Dave, John is worth it.

Dave bends down and–Heilige Scheiße!

This damn box is heavy as fuck! Dave is strong, he does weightlifting. But damn this box feels like it is holding bricks! Goddamn! Fuck! Man, Dave must be slacking off… But fuck this box is heavy, there's no one who could–

"Strider, are you struggling with the last box?" Oh boy, here's Jake… "Dirk and I finish some fancy wiring arrangement. He is very excellent with his hands… Do you need help, Strider…?"

Dave doesn't answer. He is trying and struggling and unfortunately failing on picking the box up. Fuck, he's looking weak in front of English. Thank fuck that John isn't here and–Was zum Teufel?!

Dave can't help but have his jaw slacked and his eyes wide open. There is Jake, lifting and carrying the box… with one arm…

Seriously, what the fuck?!

"Don't strain yourself, Strider…" Jake giggles. "I'll transfer the box to where it's supposed to go… Take a break with your brother… you need it…"

Then Jake walks away.

But Dave can't help but think…

English is damn strong and Dirk is going to have plenty of fun.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry if it took some time guys. School is almost over but it's being a pain in the bum for me…<strong>

**With summer coming close, I'll have more time on fanfiction but for now, I have to care about school… But I will try my best to update as much as I can. **

**As a reminder, ForeverSnow101 gets a one-shot that has at least one pairing, chooses both genres, and can give me the basic plot. Have fun!**

**Next chapter is going to be Jake. **


	30. Con XXII: Core

**School is out and summer is here. And I have time for fanfiction! **

**I'll be working more on one-shots though. Especially Karu-chan's birthday present! **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXII <strong>_

_**Core**_

* * *

><p>"No! No! Jake! You're getting blood on the potatoes!"<p>

Jake looks at John and doesn't see the problem. John had assigned him cutting potatoes but the potatoes aren't exactly easy to do. But he didn't cut his fingers. It's… oh, there's a cut on his arm... Huh, it looks like Jake cut himself but Jake doesn't deserve death nor life.

"Sorry, John… I didn't mean to dirty your potatoes with my tainted blood…"

John sighs as he looks at the rather empty bowl that supposed to have ready to cook potatoes. But Jake knows that the few did have his dirty blood on them.

John talks to one of the wonderful and gracious ladies who serve lunch in another language that is not German. Jake just stares at the cut he has.

Jake didn't mean to hurt himself, he promised Dirk. Did Jake… break another promise…?

"Hey Jake, can you bring out your arm. I need to bandage it up."

Jake wants to refuse and let the cut sting. But he can't refuse Jadey-John…

Jake takes his arm out and lets Johnny-Jade do his caring. Jake does not understand why John would care for Jake. A ghost already gave him a bad dream. Jake was seeing… her again… her poor bloody corpse…

But Jake watches John wrap the white cloth-like bandage around his arm after putting the justiciable stinging alcohol on the cut. But why is John caring about Jake? He broke a promise…

"Jake…" John says with a sigh and shakes his head a little. He's done. And already, Jake disappoints someone… "…I'll let Maria do the potatoes instead. You can go core the fruit, I guess."

"Core…?"

"To remove seeds or some woody stuff from the center, you know, it is the stuff people don't usually eat. The apples will be easier than the potatoes."

"…Apples?"

"My friend taught me how to make an apple pie. The guard, Captor, said that I can manage the kitchen if I make the guards some pie. There's that and the bellas and I are thinking of making some applesauce." John answers. "We have to prepare for lunch."

Jake can't help but stare at John. Usually, convicts would try to hurry up on kitchen duty and do not care what the food will taste like. They only want to not work. But Jadey-John is different. Jake sees it.

John likes being in the kitchen.

Jake saw John talking to the ladies, laughing and making them giggle. He would always choose any kitchen "activity" duty, whether it moving boxes or washing dishes or anything else having to do with being in the kitchen. Jake wonders why.

"Why do you care about cooking with effort?" Jake questions.

John just shrugs, "My friend used to work in the kitchen as well as hanging out with me."

Jake nods at this. Of course Jadey-John has friends outside of prison. She is so nice and kind.

"Now just go to the apples. I'll get someone to do the potatoes."

Jake nods and follows.

Jake sits down on a metal bucket and gets an apple and a little metal tool. It's most likely that Jake has to stab right in the middle of the apple. That seems easy enough…

Jake does a quick but _very_ meaningful stab. He fantasizes it as a merciful stab to the scoundrel he detest. He takes the metal tool out the cylinder core falls out. Huh, that is tranquil and not so hard…

Jake does another one.

…And another…

…And another…

…And another…

…And another…

Well…this is really easy…

Perhaps Jake can think about things…

He can think and core the apples at the same time…

There is that dream that Jake remembers too well. He remembers seeing both his pinkies gone with blood bleeding out where they supposed to be. There was silence. Nothing made a noise, all was too silent. Jake just stared at his bleeding hands. Why were they bleeding…?

And then there was a thud. Jake stopped looking at his hands and see… it…

_No… Not again…_

Jake woke up and didn't say anything. The ghost made him feel… petrified. Sometimes, this ghost can come and take control of his body and remind him very well that he broke a promise, the promise with her…

Sometimes, Jake felt and needed his just pain after the ghost reminded him… And sometimes, he writes her name on the walls…

Jake does another one.

…And another…

…And another…

…And another…

There's the plan. Dirk never was clear what the plan is to escape this prison. But Dirk told him about it. …Did he…?

Dirk did say that he and his brother are going to escape. But it was delayed for reasons that Jake was not informed. But that's Dirk's reasons, not his. Dirk can have secrets, he's not a scoundrel. Dirk promised Jake he will help with that scoundrel. So Jake has always been honest with Dirk and that never changed. But Dirk…

Why does Dirk never really tell some things?

Jake tells Dirk with ease, why shouldn't Dirk?

Jake trusts him. Doesn't Dirk?

Jake can see there are a few things Dirk has hidden and maybe even something that Dirk wants to say to Jake.

Doesn't Dirk trust him…?

Jake does another one.

…And another…

…And another…

He then thinks about Jade. Jade is the reason why he is here. She is the precious jewel, the wonderful niece, and the pure girl that gave him life. Jake can't remember parts of his past but Jade is always there. She would draw pretty pictures and put pretty colored bands and strings around her fingers… She would use her little BB gun and try her best to shoot something accurately.

…Jade…

That corpse…

That dream…

Jake is so _horrible_…

Why… why her…?

Jake should have… he could have… if he knew, if he only knew, he would have killed that traitor!

Stab that cold, dark heart!

And Dirk will help…

_Yes,_ Dirk will help Jake get rid of that scoundrel…!

Dirk is there for Jake…

He'll help…

Dirk has always been there for Jake. He would never try to manipulate Jake like the other scoundrels…

How foolish Jake is! Dirk is trustworthy! Dirk can keep secrets. He's human! Jake should respect that! What's the matter with him! He's supposed to trust Dirk with all his heart. Dirk promised Jake that he will help. Dirk told him about the escape plan and invited him! Dirk is a selfless man that Jake is taking advantage of –like a scoundrel itself!

Jake tries to make it up for Dirk. He really does. But it seems he's always in debt to Dirk. Dirk has been the one person who would listen to Jake… talk to Jake… treat Jake like he is some worthy human… If only Jake could have met Dirk with Jade… Jade would like Dirk… Dirk is so kind… great… generous… handsome…

"Jake! Oh god, not again… Jake, you're getting blood on that apple!"

Jake can't help but blink and see his doing… Fortunately, it is only one apple that is tainted, no blood dripping on the others… But it is cursed and rotten with his blood…

But Jake can hear her sigh… He disappointed her…

No…

"Jake…? You okay? Hey…"

No…!

"Jake…just…I think you need to go to the corner… take a breather I guess…"

"Is this a time-out…?"

John looks at him but then nods. "Um, yeah… Just stay there, I'll fix your fingers again in the infirmary."

Jake nods and follows his order. He can't taint more things. His blood is a cursed thing. Jake sits on a box. He can feel his stomach hurting… the pain is not enough…

Jade…

That scoundrel…!

He's so awful…!

Why…

_Why_…!

Why couldn't he see? He's so fucking blind!

Jade will be so disappointed!

Why…!

Why!

Why!

Why!

Why! Why! Why! Why!

WHY!

"…Jake…? Are you okay?"

…Dirk…?

Why is he here?

Is he disappointed too?

Who isn't?

"Hey Jake… are you having an anxiety attack?"

Jake snaps his head up and glare at Dirk. He doesn't mean to be so rude and mean towards Dirk but what he said…

"Don't be rude, Dirk…" Jake growls. "There are real people who suffer from real anxiety –don't assume with my justifiable pain…"

Dirk looks at Jake, something going through his mind…

"Jake…" Dirk says. "Permission to sit with you and the ability to touch you?"

Jake stares at Dirk. Why would he ask that? It's very polite and gentleman-like. But why? Jake nods at this and Dirk does sit next to Jake. Their thighs are touching…

It's… nice…

"You didn't bite your fingers, right Jake?"

Jake shakes his head. "No, I would never try to break a promise –especially a pinky promise. I-I try not to…"

Dirk hums and nods.

"That's good…" Dirk answers. But Jake can't understand what's going on. "Hey…may I–"

"Strider, you have my permission." Jake interrupts but answers. He deserves to be hurt…

But Dirk doesn't punch him. No, he puts his arm around Jake's waist and… he lies his head down on Jake's shoulder… Jake can see and smell Dirk's hair. It's a bit dirty but it still smells… nice…

…Why…?

Why is Dirk showing such… _affections_ to Jake?

Does Dirk need a substitute? All Dirk needs to say is simply that he needs a substitute…

Oh how fortunate Jake is… He has Dirk to be here with him… a man who will help bring justice for his darling sweet Jade… Jake can smell Dirk's scent as tips of his hair tickles his face. Really, this action and touching is rather… nice…

Jake wants to push away but can't.

There is no denial that Jake likes this even though he doesn't deserve this at all. Perhaps… perhaps in another time, in another world, Jake can have… romantic feelings for Dirk. But he can't, not here and not now or anytime at all.

There is reason to why Jake is here for years… why Jade is gone… why he is like… _this_…

And here he is, feeling warmth and happiness inside him when he should feel only coldness and emptiness inside him. He should not take advantage of Dirk –unlike that _scoundrel_…

Jake can hear the prisoners begin entering. The time for lunch is soon. It seems many minutes had passed as he could smell the sweet aroma of pie and something mouth-watering, both ready and done…

And maybe, just maybe…

Jake can core out the unnecessary feelings he is developing for Dirk…

* * *

><p><strong>I just want to say, I only had the Internet to research about anxiety attacks. I am sorry if I offended anyone with how I described Jake's attack. If any of you can help me with describing an attack, I welcome you. I rather have other type of information of anxiety and anxiety attack than assume knowing how to write it when I'm not. <strong>

**I also want to clarify that Jake has phasmophobia, or a fear of ghosts, and he does believe that ghosts exist. **

**Well, lunch preparation is over and now the prisoners are going in line for food. And what better way to know how they react is the next chapter is being in John's point of view. **


	31. Con XXIII: Paprika

**First off, Elarel, whether you read this soon or later, I want you to know that you're not the worst reader. I believe you as a wonderful reader. It's an honor to have you translate my fanfiction in Spanish and I really appreciate your effort for what you do. Keep up with the good work.**

**And I am glad that people seem to be okay with how I wrote about the anxiety attack. I was nervous that I was going to offend some people because I wrote it wrong. So I'm glad that I did it well.**

**I will work on the one-shots and finish ****The Red Lily of the Violet Valley ****though.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXIII<strong>_

_**Paprika**_

* * *

><p>John can't believe that there are people who are asking for seconds!<p>

He didn't cook that well…

In fact, John had messed up a few times. He overcooked the potatoes, he put a little too much cinnamon in the applesauce, and he forgot to put a necessary spice in the soup. But there are people who want seconds!

Alisa tries to keep the prisoners from stealing food, Camila keeps smacking with her trusty spatula, Amy keeps glaring at the people who tell weird but mean stuff to John, Lily is away to deliver the pie, and the others are in the kitchen as Lola hums and sings a nice song. It really is nice for the ladies to help. And it's also nice that people want seconds…

But John has to go to the food closet. He needs to put the needed spice for the other soup that's currently cooking now in the kitchen. Plus, he is getting a bit too overwhelmed and a bit embarrassed of the reaction given towards his food. Jane would be both proud and disappointed with what's going on. She would be proud since "customers" like the food a lot but disappointed because he messed up a few steps of her recipe…

Boy, John wonders what's going on with Jane…

Is she okay?

John sure hopes so…

"Hey John," Oh crap! John didn't see Dave! "So here you are. And you're right. The food you made _is_ the shit."

John can't help but blush. Jeez, he is not used to these compliments. John could have done better with cooking though… John still messed up and Jane would have been disappointed and would have done better.

"Thanks, I told you so." John answers. Man, his face is on fire! "You shouldn't doubt me, Dave."

Dave hums in response. "You're right, I shouldn't. But hey, cuties can be dangerous."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they know how to use their attractive looks on people." Dave explains. Then he smirks at John. "The cuter they are, the more deadly they can get." Then he leans forward. "You must be the deadliest one with the way you look."

John can feel his entire face and neck on fire! Holy shit! His heart is beating way too loud! And fast! Way too fast! John covers his face with his hands, trying to cover the embarrassing blush as much as he can. And he puts his head, looking down at the ground.

Unfortunately, John can still hear Dave chuckle…

John knows that Dave is a-actually…flirting for real…

…And with that, it's now making John think about something…

"Uh, hey Dave, do I… look like anyone you know?"

John takes a little peek and sees the confused look on Dave's face. Those red eyes are really open and show emotions very well… He wonders why Dave is looking like that.

"Why would you assume that?" Then Dave smirks. "You're one of a kind, Liebchen~."

But that doesn't reassure John…

John can feel his heart settle down and the blush fading as he fully looks at Dave. He knows he should feel flattered but…

"Are you sure? I mean, I actually have a face that many people seem to… compare with."

Dave frowns a little before he smirks. "Yeah, I know I never seen a face that's incredibly cute as yours."

John can't help but frown a bit. "There are plenty of other cute guys still."

Dave actually blinks in surprise at this. He must have not been expecting the truth. But John knows. John may not like it but it's the truth.

"Um, ja, but you're still one of a kind."

"How?" John questions. He knows he's being an ass but he really does want an answer. He feels guilty that he's making Dave uncomfortable but…

"Uh…the blue eyes are heiß."

"Yeah, but there are other guys with blue eyes too…" John answers. "It may be recessive but it's not rare."

"Hair is nice and–"

"A lot of people have dark hair. And good shampoo and conditioner helps with the softness." Okay, that's a dick move. But John has heard that a lot…

And boy, Dave is actually looking nervous…

"Uh…" Dave actually has his eyes staring at something to the side than looking at John. Oh boy, not again… "I like your teeth…?"

John actually blinks a couple of times at this. His… teeth…?

Now that's different.

"My teeth…?"

Dave actually looks relieved. "Yeah, your teeth are pretty cool. I like them!"

But of course, John had to be an asshole… "…Doesn't Jake have the same teeth as me?"

John tries not to snort or laugh at Dave's reaction. Oh god, the face he is making! The mixture of shock and disgust displayed with his eyes wide and surprised. His jaw was at first slacked open before it moves like a crossover of a gaping fish and a wide-mouthed cartoon character, speaking gibberish.

John uses one of his hands to cover his traitorous smiling mouth. He really isn't trying to make fun of Dave –even though his reaction is hilarious! John can easily see that Dave doesn't exactly like Jake, especially that way. Luckily, John remains "calm" as Dave tries to gain his speech.

"Oh hell _naw_!" Dave actually shouts out. "There is no way in Hölle that I am crushin' for English?! Seriously! I don't care how hot his ass is, I can't lust for a psycho like him! I mean, Dirk is going for that psycho since he first saw him and shit –but I don't!" Dave then looks at John. "Do you… you actually think I like Jake or someone else?"

John couldn't control his expression as shock came over him. He can't help but feel both guilty and embarrassed at getting caught. John looks away and can feel a blush on his cheeks. Fuck, this is awkward! He's only here for a spice!

"…_John_," John doesn't look at Dave. There is an over expired flour. John should– "I'm not using you."

…What?

John whiplashes his head and stares wide-eyed at Dave. Is he serious? Dave couldn't be–…

Those pretty red eyes are honest and they show that Dave is actually telling the truth. Um, wow… John definitely didn't suspect that. John seriously can't believe that Dave actually said that. He can feel his heart getting light, as if it's flying or something. He can't help but stare at him.

"I don't know why you think I would do that." Dave says. "But I get it that I'm an assassin but that was more of Dirk's job to seduce before we got here –but that's not the point!"

Dave takes a deep breath in… and sighs… He then looks at John with sincere eyes. "I am not reminded of anyone when I see you. Got it? I would say something to you when we first met. I'm the kind of person that tells shit as it is."

"But everyone sees someone else!" John can't help but protest. "I always remind people of–"

John squeaks a little as two strong hands are on his shoulders. He seriously can't look up. Thumbs are rubbing on his shoulders, making John reminded that his shoulders are tense.

"…You're right, I do see someone."

Now John can feel his shoulders sag and disappointment weighing down his head. Of course, everyone–

"That someone is a guy who entered my cell had a funny name that's Egbert."

…What?!

John raises his head and looks at Dave's eyes. Of course, Dave is smirking but his eyes are genuine and… nervous.

"Yeah, this guy's last name is Egbert. I was tempted with Egberry, Egderp, and one of my favorites, _Egbooty_."

Of course, John immediately puts his head down as he feels a blush covering his face. Egbooty?! Wow, that's really, really embarrassing! …A-And somewhat flattering… But's it's still damn embarrassing!

"You know, this Egbert guy… he actually called me scary." John can feel his blush increase… "But he later KO'd a guy and forgave me for… what I did."

John feels Dave's hands squeeze his shoulders unconsciously. Man, Dave really must feel guilty about trying to break his wrist. But both forgave each other so Dave shouldn't feel so guilty.

"…I think you would know this guy. He's the guy who hanged out with English and made an awesome and ironic fan-art of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff not too long ago. He gave a shit about cooking and later his food _is_ the shit. He has a großartig sense of humor. And an ironic surprise, he has an umwerfend use of sass and most likely did a little prank in the break room."

John snorts and chuckles as he remembers what he did. One does not need any whoopee cushion to create farting noise. Boy, he did feel a bit scared and guilty when Dirk was the victim but he just laughed when Jake said "Excuse you," to him. The look on Dirk's face!

"And really…" Dave sighs out. John takes a peek and feels completely speechless at Dave's face. He has a bright red blush across his face and his scarlet red eyes are looking to the side. "You –I mean, Egbert… he… he has this certain guy… who really, _really_ is crushing on him –you know, taking a real liking…"

He can feel his heart swelling up, John is pretty sure it's about to figuratively burst. Wow… Did Dave just… Well, that night did make it obvious…

"Dave…"

"Um, wow, that was etwas, I mean, something…" Dave takes one of his hands away from John's shoulder and does a fake but very embarrassed cough before having his hand rub the back of his head.

"So… this guy that likes this Egbert…" John says as he looks at Dave with some hope inside. "He likes me –I mean, Egbert like… _that_?"

Dave turns his head and stares eye to eye with John. It looks like Dave is trying to do a smirk but it's more of a smile. And John can't help but hitch his breath, it seems Dave's face is getting… closer…

"Ja…" Dave sighs out, getting slowly closer. "He does. In fact…"

John licks his lips as he can easily see Dave is actually staring there. John is pretty sure Dave can feel his heartbeat with the hand that's touching the back of John's head. John doesn't think he can really move, even without Dave's arm circling around his back…

He is pretty sure that both his and Dave's face are blushing off as Dave inches his face closer to John's. John is so glad that he isn't the only one nervous but he secretly wishes Dave would just do it!

Finally Dave is about an inch to actual lip contact… Dave breathes out, closes his eyes, and…

"John! Are you done yet?"

Okay, maybe it was not the best idea that John pushes Dave off of him. Especially when Dave gets hit by a shelf on the back of the head…

"John! Did you get the paprika yet?"

"Um, no!" John yells back. "Not yet!"

"Hurry up! It's almost ready!"

John nods at this even though Jacqueline can't see it. But then he turns his head to check on Dave. Luckily John did not put Dave unconscious but John did hurt him… And there's the container with the spice…

"Oh god, I am so sorry, Dave!" John finally exclaims as he cautiously steps near Dave. It doesn't look like Dave is severely hurt… but it doesn't look like he's feeling fine…

"No… it's alright –Ow! …I deserve that. You should go with that fancy prancy spice of yours. Just leave me so I can ironically wallow in embarrassment…"

But John doesn't. He can see that Dave actually cares about him. And maybe, just maybe, John can have a great relationship with Dave –even if he was an assassin. John just has to take a chance…

John has both of his hands on Dave's face and sees a glance of confusion before he pulls Dave towards him and kisses him. There was a bump with noses but John adjusts himself that they fit more. John waits for Dave to get over his surprise only to be surprised himself.

Dave has one of his hands on the back of John's head, pushing their face more together. The other hand is clumping at the lower back. But John relaxes and focuses on the kiss.

There was warmth… exhilaration… and sweetness… John can feel something light and flying inside of his chest. He gets the tip of his fingers lightly massaging Dave's scalp. He can breathe through his nose, smelling a musky scent that's Dave's. John can even taste a bit of the sweetness and tartness of apples that Dave most likely snacked on. The warmth shared and intensified between them as cheeks touch and brush each other. John can hear and feel his own heartbeat as blood bumps through his head, especially around his ears. This feels wonderful to John…

Though Dave's lips are chapped and a bit rough, John loves this. It's almost like a dream…

But John has to get back to cooking. He already has the paprika in his hand and leans back a little when Dave tries to get another. John giggles at the pout Dave is making. He can be really cute and dorky at times.

"Sorry Dave, I got to go." John apologizes. But then he smiles mischievously. "But maybe after _Egbert_ can go back and show Strider how much he likes him~."

John gives a quick peck and exits out of the food closet.

He can't wait when he's done.

"You better!"

John can't help but giggle and do a little skip.

He isn't the only one wanting and waiting~.

* * *

><p><strong>For those who may not know, I named this chapter "Paprika." I was looking around to find about spices that are red to name the chapter. And then I found paprika. Not only that, I remembered and found the movie, Paprika, by Satoshi Kon. I really love the movie so I thought I would name the chapter and give a few references. And for people who don't know the movie, give it a watch –it's really good!<strong>

**And Kinzerly, I don't really know myself how often I can update at times. But sometimes I can update around one to two weeks from maybe a month or so. So hopefully that helps answer something. **


	32. Con XXIV: The Warden

**Well, I'm glad that many of you guys responded very positive to the progress of Dave and John. And I would like to tell ArlkatThePillowfighter that thank you for your kind words and that this fanfiction isn't over yet. :)**

**However, Elisablackcat, it wasn't my intention to make it sound like Jake's voice but I do like writing Jake's chapters. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXIV<strong>_

_**The Warden**_

* * *

><p>Dirk doesn't know where the hell Dave is.<p>

He just saw Dave eating and leaving as if he had somewhere to go. And he does not, Dirk does.

"So, brin' the goods and this mystery cop on time." Eridan speaks. "And before you evven ask, I am not botherin' w-with Egbert. I already lost interest."

Dirk hums and crosses his arms. Eridan must know about Jake's relationship with John, making John "unavailable" to Ampora. Dirk can tell with one of Eridan's hands fiddling with the neck he has. His violet eyes show no fear but Dirk knows that's not true.

"Got it, you can go back to your dumm table and eat. I'll meet you at the time."

Eridan nods and leaves. Dirk has almost everything that Eridan wants. It's only three things that Eridan requested: a new neck brace that's "soft collar" like the one he has on, a box of cigarettes, and a bottle of booze. Dirk hasn't found the bottle yet. But whatever Eridan is thinking, he has a plan.

Sometimes Dirk wonders what Ampora fucked up so bad that he got into this shit prison and what's going on with that neck of his. He always wear a neck brace since he came here… And Eridan is the son of a rich pirate and smuggler. He has the money and power to get away with a shit ton of crimes. Eridan can have men take the blame, whether it's a simple drug trade or a cold, heartless murder. Eridan seemed unstoppable but he's here in this shitty prison.

But now Dirk has to go to the kitchen and find that bottle of booze. He wishes he saved a bottle that's Roxy's present but then again, it's the good shit that Dirk doesn't give to a douche like Eridan Ampora. And Jake likes it and thanked him.

But now, Dirk needs to find Dave. He has to talk to him and make a small plan on getting the last item. Dirk can distract the lunch ladies and Dave can get the bottle. It's a simple plan.

But where is Dave?

Dirk scans around the cafeteria but he can't find him…

"…Excuse me, sir, is there something wrong?"

Dirk turns his head to see a rather young-looking lady who has red lipstick and bright green hair. Dirk gives the lady a warm and charming smile, easily making her flustered.

"No, Ich bedaure, ma'am," Dirk flirts. "I was looking for mein bruder, have you seen him, Fräulein?"

And Dirk easily gets her trust.

"O-Oh! Haha! Well, aren't you a gentleman!" She giggles out. "Let's see… Ah! You're Strider's brother! At least one of you has some manners…I swear, your brother has caused some bother! He keeps distracting John and hanging out in the food closet!"

Dirk nods and keeps the smile on still.

"And the food closet is where, Miss…."

"Oh, I'm bi –I mean, I'm Lily! Lily!" The lady gets flustered. "The food closet is in the kitchen. Just find the door on the far right and looks like something from medieval times."

Dirk nods and goes to the kitchen. He gives a charming and nice smile to a lunch lady or two before seeing the metal door. Huh, it does look like a real ironic cliché medieval door. But that doesn't matter as much as Dave is most likely eating the apples in there. But Dave shouldn't snack since they –Was zum Teufel?!

John screams out an eep and pushes Dave inches away. His face is completely red. However, Dirk's annoying bruder looks annoyed that Dirk stopped their tonsil battle. Well, it looks like Dave is "dating" Egbert now.

"…Dave, Ich habe einen Auftrag für Sie." Dirk speaks out. He doesn't care that Dave is now pouting.

"Dude, I'm busy." Dave actually answers. "Can't you do it? I want to be _closely acquainted_ with a wonderful cutie~." Dirk can see that John is blushing his face off even more.

"_Dave_, es ist eine Mission für die Flucht." Dirk informs. "Wir brauchen eine Flasche Alkohol."

Dave stares at Dirk. He doesn't immediately move and is thinking of something. That means Dave has an advantage that Dirk doesn't know yet. The look on his face is showing that.

"…Hey John, can you have one of the ladies get us a bottle of booze? Dirk is in a drinking mood."

John blinks bemused at Dave but then nods. "Sure, I might get some from Alisa."

Dave smiles and gives a kiss on John's forehead. Now Dirk can't help but be surprised. He remembers that smile. Dave only has that smile when he's actually really, really happy… Huh, Dave really does like Egbert… Whatever Egbert did, it's not just the eyes. He must have said or did something that got Dave really happy…

And it looks like the bottle of alcohol is already taken care of. So Dirk just nods to himself and leaves. He'll give Dave some time and space. Egbert seems like he's a pretty good guy and nice too for someone who killed his own father. And really, Dave needs some happiness and love. He deserves some.

"Oh, is that you Dirk…? Lunch is almost over and the delightful ladies are ready to prepare for dinner…" Jake greets with a wave and a smile. "Some of the guards and scoundrel therapists are here for thirds… Makes me wonder how many poor hungry souls there are… and how many rotten _pigs_ are still living…"

Dirk hums and then sits next to Jake. He is handling his crush on him quite well. Jake doesn't seem to notice at all but gives around enough affection for Dirk to be okay with their supposed strongly platonic relationship and Dirk's private situation.

"Here, Dirk… I got you some orange juice… I try to make it cold…"

Dirk can already see that the orange juice is a bit cool but mostly lukewarm when Jake slides the glass towards him. But it's really nice for Jake to do that. And Dirk tries not to look at Jake's face, since there's a sane and way too affectionate smile is on it.

"Thanks Jake." Dirk says and then drinks the orange juice. He can hear Jake giggle as he drinks the juice down. He tries not to blush conspicuously for it.

"The pleasure is all mine, Dirk… You deserve so much more…"

Dirk succeeds on not spitting out all the orange juice back to the glass. Doesn't Jake know that what he said is pretty much a cheesy, ironic romantic cliché line?!

But Dirk doesn't say anything. He knows that Jake doesn't mean to flirt with Dirk. It would be nice if it's intentional but there's no way that's going to happen. Jake has shown his… distaste for having anything of an intimate and/or romantic relationship of his own.

But Dirk wonders what exactly Ampora has in mind. Eridan Ampora isn't some thug or some snotty weak spoiled brat. Ampora has the brains and skills to do nearly any crime and get away with it. That is why it's still a complete surprise and shock that Ampora is in prison than out there making chaos happen wherever he's near. But Dirk gives his temporary trust to Ampora. He needs it to happen.

"So, Jake…" Dirk tries to begin a conversation. "How's your hand?"

Jake blinks and then reveals his wounded hand. It isn't that bad. Dirk can see an actual circle on Jake's fingers. And Dirk can't help but be bemused.

"Jake, what knife did you had?"

Jake giggles. "Oh it's simple. The knife I had to core the apples is a silver cylinder, one end gone and the other has a handle. I was holding the end of the apple wrong…"

The index, the middle, and the ring finger have fresh wounds, still haven't been taken care of. The index and the ring finger seem to have a mirror-like curved wound with each other while the middle finger has two. One is on the lower part of the finger and the other is on the upper. Really, it's a wound shaped like a circle on his three fingers.

"Jake, what happened? How did–"

"I had bad thoughts… very bad thoughts…" Jake answers with a deep crestfallen frown. "I was… I was being a scoundrel… I had _despicable_ thoughts in this noggin of mine… A ghost visited me, you know…" He tenses his hand, letting a bit of fresh blood come out of his fingers. "This reoccurring dream… My useless doubts on your loyal trust… and… _her_… I really, really don't like that ghost…"

Dirk can see it, Jake shivering. He really is scared…

"And then there are… memories… Memories that I thought were… erased…"

Dirk then looks at Jake. What does he mean–

"Thit! Thit, you guyth better move!"

"Was, Captor, what's–"

But Captor isn't listening. He is actually grabbing the back of Dirk's collar and pulls him out his seat. Luckily and somehow, everyone is getting out of their chair and standing up.

"Thtrider, thith ith ba–Ow! Fuck!"

Dirk immediately reacts on grabbing Jake's wrist to stop Jake from clenching and figuratively ripping out Sollux's shoulder.

"Jake, stop! Captor, what's–"

"It'th the warden, Thtrider! One of them ith here to get thome food after eating a thlice."

Dirk can feel his blood chill down and his heart almost freezing. The warden?! And there are more?!

Everyone in prison is standing and moving around like panicked animals. Fear and hidden curiosity is on everyone's face. Dirk can feel himself moving away from the lunch ladies and near to the bathroom.

"Thit! E.D…" Sollux mumbles out.

Dirk looks at Sollux, eyes wide and full of panic. Who is E.D.? And why–

""YOU FUCKERS BETTER BE DAMN RIGHT ABOUT THE FUCKING FOOD! OR I'LL FIRE ONE OF YOU COPS WITH NO MERCY!"

Shit, that's the voice from the speakers! Now that it's not full static-like, Dirk can really hear the voice. And now he can feel fear inside of him growing very, _very_ quickly…

"HEY! ONE OF YOU BITCHES GET ME SOME LUNCH! NOW!"

"Caliborn _English_…!" Jake growls out. "You… _You_…! …Harley… It's _Harley_…! You… I won't let you devastate again…! No, never again!"

Dirk stares at Jake. How does Jake know about his ex? And how can Dirk not figure out that Caliborn is the warden? Shit… _Scheiße_…!

Dirk really does hope Eridan has a good damn plan.

Or both Dave and Dirk are screwed…

* * *

><p><strong>Of course, I have to end it right here, in a cliffhanger. Sorry…<strong>

**Also, yes, Calliope is the other warden. Both the Cherubs are the wardens. I thought it would be interesting and it lets the prison not be a total hellhole. Calliope tries to make sure the prison is something not something like society stereotypes it as but Caliborn has some anger issues due to a certain German…**

**But if it makes you guys feel any better, the next two chapters will be Pros. The first one is going to be about John. And the other is going to be about Jake. Both Pros will give out the past of course as well as clues of why they are like they are in the present. **


	33. Pro IX: Only Defense

**I try to make sure what happened in John's life is both distinct as well as vague. In other words, I will give you some answers and some questions of John's past and what made him who he is now.**

**But I do want to inform the people who asked how Caliborn is causing panic on Dirk. Dirk had "dated" Caliborn for a mission but ended things badly with Caliborn. But now one of his "exes" is the warden and will most likely recognize Dirk easily if he sees him. Hopefully this explains anyone who is confused about the relation with Dirk and Caliborn. **

**And now, here's the Pro.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro IX: Only Defense<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Fuck! Screw life and love! John needs to get the hell out of this house! <em>

_John has his hoodie on and his body ready. He can go outside and have fun! He can have fun without stupid Karkat being in the way! And no one is going to stop him! _

"_Hey Johnny, aren't you a little young to play hooky in this time of night?"_

_John almost gets a heart attack. How–? Who–?! _

"_Hey, I don't bite –at least not on you." _

_John figures who it is and glares at him. "What do you want?"_

_He chuckles and smirks at John. "Oh nothing, it's just what you're doing is ironic. Some would whine about their sorrows, some drink, some send their ex's nude pics, and some would hire a handsome hot assassin to kill them. You go play hooky and beat up a bunch of dudes.'_

_John groans and rolls his eyes. "My Dad is not the boss of me and I was trained by my grandpa and grandma to fight. I won't waste their training just because Dad wants me here at home!"_

_The guard sighs in over the top exasperation. "It's too bad that granny and grampy aren't here or in this world –especially gramps, man, I am still heartbroken by his fall…"_

_John rolls his eyes again. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you should be all over my Dad, I have an uncle –he's twin brother of my Dad and is actually gay. Why don't you stick a dick in his ass?"_

_The guard snorts and chuckles. "Well aren't you cranky, Johnny. You telling me off and outing on your uncle. Had a fight with your boytoy?"_

_Immediately, John flips him off. "Shut up! I don't want to hear about him! I-…I…" John wipes a stupid tear off with the back of his hand. "I don't care about him anymore…"_

_The guard actually frowns. "…What happened?"_

"_It's… it's nothing, we're just through –that's all…"_

_The guard stands up and looks at John with his arms crossed. He better not be judging him. John doesn't want him to make fun of him. John just wants to let out steam by fighting. And if he has to, John will try to get a good fight with him. Hopefully the guard doesn't have a sword or gun on him…_

"_Look, I understand your pain, kid. It's a bad breakup. But that doesn't give you some shitty excuse to go out there and non-sexually beat people up. Look, whatever he did to you–"_

"_Shut up!" John yells out. "Don't you dare remind me! And I'm not going to attack people! That I can keep of one of Dad's promises, okay…"_

"_Kid, that's not what I meant. I don't give a fuck about your hot dad's promises. I know you have something going on in your head that's making you go only on defense and anger." _

_John ignores him and opens the front door. He doesn't even know the guard's name! Why should he trust him? John thought he could trust, care, and love Karkat but he–! …Dad is away anyway… _

"_So what, I promised Dad that I only do defense. I don't want to go to jail."_

_But the guard laughs at this. "It's not daddy that made you like this."_

_But John slams the door and goes. Like hell he's listening to him! _

* * *

><p>"<em>What were you doing out there?! And that black eye –who did that?!" Dad turns and glares at the guard. "I thought you were protecting him!"<em>

_The guard has his palms open and out in the classic surrender position. But it doesn't look he's feeling guilty or scared about losing his job. But he isn't smirking._

"_Sorry mister Egbert, I should have locked the front doors. I don't know why your son just went out, especially with all those dangerous things happening outside." Obviously that is an extreme lie but John is thankful that he's covering for him and not telling Dad what really is going on. _

_Dad sighs as he rubs his temples. John feels very guilty that Dad is having a headache because of him… __**Shit**__, John thought Dad wouldn't find out that he was outside and that Dad wouldn't come home this soon… He really wished he hadn't done this… Idiot…_

"_And __**John**__," John freezes and tenses at Dad's voice. He sounds so disappointed… "__**Why**__? Why would you go out? Did your fiancé say something to you? Please tell me, John. I am not disappointed with you. I'm just __**worried**__. I don't want you to get in trouble and get to prison. You know what happens in prison?"_

_John nods and mumbles. "I'll get beaten up…"_

_Dad hums and nods. "You will get beaten up by many, __**many**__ people. And I can't save you when you're there."_

_John does know about prison. It's this horrible, __**horrible**__ place that has very, __**very**__ bad people that will hurt him without any thought. There will be someone who will be living with him in a __**very**__ small room and bullying him… John cannot go there! He can't! _

"_John… I worry about you. I am proud of you. I am glad that you can defend yourself but…"_

_John can't help but look away even more. He really doesn't want to see Dad's disappointment. But he just feels so… __**angry**__ about Karkat! But to have Dad find out…He really doesn't want Dad to know that this isn't John's first time out like this…_

"…_I'm sorry, Dad…"_

"_I'm so sorry too, John." Dad says. "…Maybe I can take a break from work and we can watch a movie tomorrow, I got the latest Nic Cage movie for you."_

"_R-Really?" John turns his head._

_Dad smiles, "Of course, John, just remember two things."_

"_What are they, Dad?"_

"_**One**__, I'll always be proud of you. Even if you make a mistake, I'll always forgive you." Dad then chuckles. "Even though you can't successfully do a prank on me and I will still get the upper hand."_

_John giggles. "I've been practicing on the guard."_

"_Hey, __**rude**__," the guard scoffs out. "And you owe me new pants still. Your fireworks got my bros laughing their asses off. Oh, and I need some new boxers too." _

_Both Dad and John chuckle at this. _

"_Alright, you can go now. I will speak to my son alone." Dad speaks._

_The guard does a weird bow and walks away. John can't help but make a funny face as he goes. He feels better when he hears Dad chuckle at it. _

_Dad leans towards John. "Maybe we can do a prank together." He then whispers. "Even want him in pink?"_

_John giggles and nods. "We can do it in the morning. We can get some Faygo and Fanta too." _

"_And don't forget the second thing, John." _

_John nods. "Of course! I promise I won't go out of the doors and try to foolishly fight anyone again." _

"_And?" _

"_Don't worry Dad, I won't go to prison. I don't want to get beaten up anytime soon. And I guess you not being there and stuff would be bad too…"_

_Dad chuckles, "No, I want you to remember that I do love you, son. I want you to be protected and feel loved. You are my pride, my son. Now don't forget that." Dad then gives John a hug. "Although the "not going to prison" one is good too."_

_John laughs at this and hugs Dad back. _

_Tomorrow, they will watch the latest movie and make the guard pink…_

_Dad loves him._

_And John loves his Dad…_

* * *

><p><em>No…<em>

_No!_

_This can't be right! _

_That can't be his Dad –that can't be! _

"_What the fuck, you feel guilty now that you massacred your father? The fuck is wrong with you?"_

_No! He didn't! He would never! John would never do that!_

_Blood…_

_There's so much… so much blood…_

_Oh god… Dad…_

_He shouldn't have…_

"_Come on psycho, I don't care how much fucking money you have. You're going to jail, asshole."_

_No…_

_He can't go to jail! _

_He can't go to prison!_

_John promised!_

_He promised! _

_He can't go! _

_He has to find who did it! He's not the murderer!_

_He's not! _

_They have to understand! _

_They have to!_

_Oh god, Dad is dead… He is actually dead…_

"_Come on! Stop staring at the damn body!"_

"_Move it, fucker!"_

_No…!_

_This can't be happening! _

_I-Is it because John did that…?_

_He didn't mean to…_

_Why did he do that! Why! He shouldn't have done it! _

_So…why…_

_Why did he attack Dad…?_

_Why did he shout and accuse Dad like that…_

"_Come on! Get moving!"_

_John shouldn't have… _

_He shouldn't have done that…_

_He shouldn't have attack Dad at all…_

_Blood…_

_So much… Blood…_

_He shouldn't have done that…!_

_He shouldn't have attack at all!_

* * *

><p>"Whoa! Babe! John, don't go out!"<p>

Why…?

Why!

"John… Shh…! Calm down, Liebling…"

John watches as a man just… he slapped Lily! He spat on Amy! He called Camila "a wetback bitch"! Why… Why would he do that!

John tries to struggle out of Dave's hold. Can't Dave see what that guy is doing?!

"John! John, please! You can't! You can't attack him!"

…Attack…

John stops struggling. He can feel himself drained and empty…

Is that what he's doing…? Attacking?

John knows what attacking will do…

He can't attack.

He must not attack…

Only defense or else…

* * *

><p><strong>Hopefully this helps you guys understand John better as well John's Dad. <strong>

**His Dad does care about his son but has some secrets he doesn't reveal to him or any person really. **

**And I wonder how many of you guys can guess who the guard is? ;)**

**Next Pro, Jake, it's going to be interesting…**


	34. Pro X: Hunting

**I am glad that people like John's Pro chapter. And yes, the guard is indeed Bro. In fact, there's a story and his past that explains why he is working as a "guard" –but I won't tell you yet. ;D**

**But there is definitely mystery with John –and especially with Jake as you read this chapter. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro X: Hunting<strong>_

* * *

><p>"<em>Jake… come on, time to get up…"<em>

"_Ugh… five more minutes…"_

_But of course, she doesn't let Jake sleep but she does a fun way to wake up Jake. She picks him up with his blanket and throws his up in the air. Jake can't help but laugh out loud. It's almost like he's flying! Higher! Higher! _

"_Come on my little caterpillar! Hurry up and get out your little cocoon!"_

_Jake laughs. "Okay! Okay! I'm awake! I'm a butterfly! I'm a butterfly!"_

_She stops and gives Jake a big hug. Jake keeps giggling as he can feel her kissing his hair and head. Jake tries his best to hug her back, trying to be a koala. But Jake slips down._

"_Come on, Jake! Get ready, we're going hunting!" _

_Jake gasps. Oh boy, today's the day! Jake tries to get himself dressed up quickly as he can. Oh boy, he's going hunting! He can't wait! He's going to shoot a… a big bear! Or a big giant gator! Or a wombat! Whatever a wombat is… It sounds scary so it must be scary!_

"_Jake! Come down already! I made pancakes! And they're dinosaur-shaped~!"_

_Dinosaur-shaped pancakes?! That's Jake's favorite type of pancakes! Jake gets his glasses and his cool jacket on. He goes down with the metal pole and runs to sit on his seat. Jake smiles as he sees his favorite dinosaur! The velociraptor! It has got to be a velociraptor since the arms are too big to be a T Rex. But Jake eats it all up. Yum! It has blueberries!_

"_Who wants seconds~!"_

"_I do! I want –I want a Spinosaurus!" Jake cheers out. _

_She laughs and sings a nice song. It sounds jazzy and great and Jake likes it. He is so happy that he's living with her than…_

_Jake doesn't want to go back…_

"_Jake?" Oh dear, she got him! "You're frowning… Jake, you know it's not your fault about the fire and the no-good scoundrel. It's his damn fault, not yours."_

"_But–" _

"_Nuh-uh-__**uh**__! It's not your fault at all! That wretched man is a scoundrel! And remember Jake, never trust scoundrels! All they do is be bad! Once you take your eyes off your own things, scoundrels will screw you over! Because they're a bunch of pigs!"_

"_Pigs?" _

"_Yeah, bad pigs that tastes really bad that you can't eat in a barbecue!"_

_Jake giggles but then he moves his legs back and forth, back and forth. He doesn't like his legs at all. There's no hair on them… But she likes them. She does love Jake…_

"_Heeeeeeeere's the Spinosaurus! Grr! It's going to eat you up! Better eat it before it eats you. And who knows, I'll help you do that double pistol thing if you drink all of your milk." She says. "Oh, and happy birthday Jake."_

_Jake smiles and eats his Spinosaurus pancake. And he drinks his milk. Then Jake takes his plate and plastic cuppy into the sink. Jake holds her hand and goes to her jeep. He gets to ride shotgun again! _

_Jake laughs as he leans out and feels the wind on his face. He made sure he took off his glasses so he doesn't lose his glasses. He tries not opens his mouth so no bugs get on his teeth. But he's having a lot of fun! Jake is so glad that he woke up this morning! Especially with Queen playing!_

_Jake doesn't know when he took a nap. But he wakes by the smell of a sugar cookie and her giggling. Jake opens his eyes and takes the cookie. It's a good thing it's a sugar cookie, Jake likes sugar cookies! Jake looks up to her and…_

_Holy mackerel, they are real pistols! And it's a duo! And they're in belt! _

"_Come on, Jake, these guns aren't going to be worn by anybody! Come on birthday boy, get ready to hunt!"_

_Jake nods as he takes the belt with the guns and tries to put it on himself. Wait, how does Jake put it on? Oh no, he doesn't know how to put this thing on! Oh no, oh no! Jake wants to put on the belt and wear it but how?! Oh no, oh no… Jake tries not to cry… He doesn't want her to be disappointed and–_

"_Huh, it looks like you need some help. You know, it's alright to ask for some help."_

_Jake looks up at her and tries to look away. She smiles and wipes a tear off of him. She crouches down buckles the belt on Jake. Jake promises himself that he will keep wearing this belt. He will practice putting the belt on every day if he has to!_

"_Okay Jake, ready to hike to our destination? You got your good boots on and everything?"_

_Jake smiles and nods to her. "Yup! So, what are we going to hunt? A bear? A deer? Gator? Wombat?" _

"_Why a wombat, Jake?" She laughs out. _

"_Wombats sound scary."_

_She laughs out really loud. "Jake, wombats are anything but scary. Actually they're cute as they come. And they're cool too. They have square poops." _

"_Really? Then can we have one as a pet?" Jake asks. _

_She jumps over a log and dodges a branch. "Maybe, when you're older and you finally visit that cousin of yours. And I don't know why you're trying to avoid your family. They're not like that prickly scat. That villainous knotty-pated bugbear set his apartment on fire just because–… But your cousin is different."_

"_But what if he doesn't like my legs? Or my scars?"_

_She looks at Jake and then crouches down. "Jake, your legs are fine. So what if they can't get hair? Ladies like hairless legs –men too. And those scars, those are battle scars. It is proof you're a survivor and that you're living. Love them. They're you."_

_Jake smiles and then giggles when she pets and ruffles his hair. She stands up and walks. Jake follows her. But he is trying to be silent. The guns keep making noise. _

"_But what if my cousin is a big jerk?" Jake asks. He tries not to trip on the rocks and roots. "I don't want to deal with a jerk…"_

"_Oh don't worry about it! You have four months to worry about that. And good news is that your aunt isn't a frothy clack-dish. And your cousin is not a jerk. He listens to me and he loves to listen to my adventure stories. Who knows, maybe he'll enjoy your adventure when you went to the Yellowstone Park."_

_Jake gasps. "Really? But it's boring –especially that tale when you met and wrestled a jaguar! Or body-slammed a bear! Or–or–!_

_She stops again and looks at Jake. "Jake… please don't be so hard on yourself. You are special. You are precious. None of your adventures are boring because __**you**__ were there. You are wonderful and extraordinary, don't forget that."_

_Jake looks away and rubs his eyes a little with his hand. He tries not to cry. He feels very, very happy! He's not sad! Not sad at all! And he follows her again and tries not to make so much noise._

_Jake then looks up at her. Does she really see him like that? But she's a hero! She's a truce and genuine adventurer! And she… she saved him… And she wanted to keep him, to adopt him… Of course, Jake was going to trust and love her that time around!_

"_Jake!" She whispers out. "Shh! Come here… There's an animal…"_

_Jake blinks and tries to find it. Then Jake takes his glasses off and sees… a big cat… Oh! Is he supposed to hunt the cat? Jake tries to get his guns and–_

"_No, wait Jake…!" She whispers out. "Look… She has cubs…"_

_Jake blinks again and looks again. Huh, the big giant cat does have cubs. There are two of them. It's a family… John doesn't want to hurt a family. Family is supposed to be sacred…_

"_Remember Jake, you have to keep a sharp eye on everything or else you'll miss something important. You don't want to hurt a mother, would you?"_

_Jake shakes his head. He then looks at the giant cat and her cubs. He wants a family. She tells Jake that his mother misses him and that soon, Jake will have a family and a brother that isn't like the other brother… But he's scared…_

_Jake follows quietly with her and puts his glasses back on. But they only take a few steps and see something… closer…_

"…_An old deer… Jake… Get your guns out and ready…"_

_Jake nods to himself and tries to quietly get his guns out. This deer is sleeping but Jake can see an ear twitch. But he must not panic. But he does flinch when he gets his guns out and he makes a noise that has awoken the deer…_

"_Keep calm Jake… Breathe…"_

_Jake tries to calm himself down. He gets both guns up slowly and trying not to alert the deer… Keep steady… Don't fumble, don't shake, and don't tremble… Keep still… Point and…_

* * *

><p><em>Jake can't breathe. He can't breathe…!<em>

_W-What's going on? _

_Why is it so hot?_

_Jake feels like he's choking. He tries not to cough so much. _

_Air…_

_He needs air…_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bang! Bang!<strong>_

"_You did it, Jake!"_

* * *

><p><em>Jake tries not to breathe so loud. He doesn't want to hide. But she told him. <em>

…_And the ghost…_

_The ghost is inside of him –he's getting inside! _

_Jake clenches his chest. His heart is too loud but he's…_

_Afraid, so afraid…!_

* * *

><p>"<em>Wow! Both bullets went through! I guess you got… <em>_**double bullseye**__." _

* * *

><p><em>Oh no…<em>

_No!_

_Oh god, t-that's a fire!_

* * *

><p>"<em>You bitch! Where the fuck is that no-good damn son of mine!"<em>

…_He's here…_

* * *

><p>"<em>You did it, Jake! You shot it! I'm so proud of you!"<em>

* * *

><p><em>Locked? <em>

_Locked?!_

_Why is it locked?! _

_It can't be locked! _

_WHY IS IT LOCKED?!_

_**Cough! Cough!**_

_Can't… breathe…_

_Air…_

_He needs… to escape…_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Crash!<strong>_

_**Bang!**_

_**Clang!**_

"_You fucking old hag! You tell me where you hid him!"_

"_Fuck you!"_

"_That's my fucking son! The bitch took the other!"_

"_Which one? You abused her and you raped the other, you piece of useless bastard shit!"_

"_You selfish fucking bitch!"_

_Jake feels his heart pounding. _

_Where are they?_

_Where are the police?_

_Where is the exorcist? _

_**Crash!**_

_Oh god, oh god, oh god!_

* * *

><p>"<em>HELP!" Jake screams out. <em>

_Jake tries to hit the door as much as he can._

_It hurts!_

_It hurts so much! _

_His lungs… his lungs…!_

_**Cough! Cough! COUGH!**_

_He's sorry! He didn't mean to! He didn't mean to tell!_

_The police were so nice and he didn't know he was telling on Daddy!_

"_HEEEEEELP!"__** Cough! Cough!**__ "SOMEBODY! PLEASE! SOMEBODY!" __**Cough! Cough! Cough! COUGH!**_

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Ack!<strong>__ Aagggggggh…"_

_No…_

_No…!_

"_You fucking bitch! You fucking BITCH!"_

_No!_

_NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! _

_He has to stop!_

_He has to!_

_The ghost…_

_Or else, she…_

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!<strong>__"_

_No! It hurts! IT HURTS! IT BURNS!_

_Jake coughs out the horrible stench of himself cooking. _

_The roof is crushing him… The smoke is choking him…_

_His legs…_

_They're not protected!_

_Fire… Fire is hurting them! His legs!_

_It hurts!_

_It hurts!_

_It hurts!_

_IT HURTS!_

"_HEEEEEEEELP!" __**COUGH! COUGH! Cough**__... "It hurts… It…"_

* * *

><p><em>Silence…<em>

_There's only… silence…_

_Did he… did the ghost stop…?_

_Did he stop choking her…?_

_Jake slowly opens the door of the stand…_

_He tries to move still, trying to keep calm, trying to stop shivering…_

_Is… Is she okay…?_

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh god, kid… He's alive! He's alive! Get him to the car! The van! Someone get this kid to the hospital! Stop the fire! Now!"<em>

* * *

><p><em>T-There she is…! <em>

_Oh dear holy, she's here! She's okay!_

_Jake is so glad that the ghost didn't–…_

…

…_No…_

_S-she's…_

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey…" A stranger says. She waves and walks near him.<em>

_Jake blinks and looks around. _

_Jake is… he's in a bed… in a white bed that beeps…_

"_So… you're my grandson, huh… Eleven and graduated from primary school…" She looks at him closely. "Yeah…You have your mother's eyes… And you look like your brother too… But your eyes…Big green ones that look like emeralds… and a jungle…"_

_Jake blinks at her. Everything hurts…_

_She smiles at him. "…Jake, right? Please to meet you."_

* * *

><p><em>He choked her… <em>

_He actually…_

_THE GHOST FUCKING CHOKED HER!_

_Those hands… those imprints… all over h-her neck…_

_She's blue…_

_She's all blue…_

_All blue and dead…!_

_Jake does not hear anything as he screams and cries and does not stop. _

_Not even when an officer cuffs him and shocks him with the Tasers…_

* * *

><p>"<em>Today, you'll be Jake <em>_**Harley**__. And I'll be taking care of you…"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Fuck! Someone get this guy to a hospital! And keep looking for that fucker! He's got to be near! Fuck! For fuck's sake, get this guy to a hospital! He just saw his granny's corpse for fucking hell shit! Fuck! ...FUCK!"<em>

* * *

><p><em>She smiles as she raises the dead deer by his antlers. Jake can feel himself proud of what he did. <em>

_He did it! He actually did it!_

_He hunted! _

"_Come on Jake, help you granny with carrying this back! You're thirteen –you're old enough to help me. We can get some blue raspberry sorbet back home faster this way!"_

_Jake smiles. He helps her with carrying the deer to the jeep. _

_He really does love her, his–_

**Beep!**

* * *

><p><strong>Beep!<strong>

**Beep!**

**Beep!**

**Beep!**

Jake wakes up and blinks. He had… an interesting dream… Jake tries to remember but can't. But he remembers what day it is. It's his birthday but there's something more important that Jake has to do. He gets up, gets out, and gets ready for the day.

"Jade… Come on, time to get up…"

"Ugh… Maybe later…Whoa! Whee! Haha!"

"Come on my little Jade! Hurry up and get out of your cocoon!"

"Okay! Okay! I'm awake! I'm awake!

"Come on, Jade! Get ready, we're going hunting!"

Jake doesn't know why but the way he speaks, the words he said, there is something familiar about them… But Jake is in a jungle, not a forest. Jade has a rifle, not like the duo of pistols he has. And there's nothing wrong with Jade's legs…

What's…What's going on with Jake…?

"Grandpa…? Is there something wrong?" Jake turns his head and looks at Jade. Oh how selfish of him taking the importance of this day!

Jake smiles and responds. "I don't remember. It's just a dream I had but I can't darn remember a lickety-split about it!"

Jade tilts her head. "But what do you remember, Grandpa?"

Jake smiles bigger and wider and then he crouches down to look at her in the eyes.

"Today's your birthday… Happy birthday, my sweet Jade… Happy birthday to you…"

* * *

><p><strong>I wonder what you guys are thinking about this chapter. Confusing? Sad? Needs explanation? <strong>

**Hopefully you guys can understand what's going on and understand part of Jake's past. I do want to reveal Jake's past and what makes Jake this guy in the present. **

**The next chapter will go back to the present and will be Dave's perspective. **


	35. Con XXV: A Planned Riot

**I am happy that people like Jake's Pro and I'm sorry for the people who are confused with what's going on. One of the reviews, Arfstar16's review, does help you understand a bit of what's going in the previous chapter. Hopefully that will help with anyone who doesn't know what's going on with the previous chapter. **

**There are a lot of things that happened Jake as well as John, Dirk, and Dave. There are reasons why they are like they are now. **

**Now we are in the present and the Striders have to plan something to make sure their escape will happen. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXV<strong>_

_**A Planned Riot**_

* * *

><p>Dave looks at the time. He really doesn't want to leave but he has to.<p>

Dirk is not ironically panicking since one of his "exes" turns out to be the warden. Dave can bet all the apple juices in the world that the warden hasn't forgotten Dirk… Any of Dirk's "exes" don't ever forget Dirk…

And they don't exactly "forgive" Dirk for what he does in his missions…

"Dave? Is there something wrong? You're not watching the movie…"

Dave looks at the person he is dating. Yup, Dave definitely got a cutie in his arms~. It's quite great that there is someone like John who likes his eyes and is a pretty good damn kisser. Dave smiles and kisses John on the cheek.

"I'm fine. I just… I need to go somewhere. Dirk needs me…"

"Don't worry, Strider… I'll take care of her…" Of course, Jake is on the couch too and he is giving a weird as fuck smile at Dave…

Dave then looks at John. John looks at him and then sighs. John then takes out the bottle of booze from the couch. "Here… You need this, right? I'll watch the movie with Jake."

Dave takes the bottle and kisses John on the cheek again. "Danke… I'll be back in the cell and we can have some mad ironic cuddling there."

John slowly nods and smiles and then puts his arms around and hugs Dave. "You better…"

Dave hugs back. He ignores Jake who is smiling and chuckling really fucking weirdly. Dave really wants to be here with John and ironically cuddle with him. However, this meeting is somehow necessary and Dave has to be with some douchebag prick. Dave can see Captor waiting and being all… fidgety…?

Why is Captor being all nervous for?

He is still wearing his cop uniform and no one will question about a cop moving a prisoner around.

But Dave can't question it, he has to go. Dave gives a last quick squeeze and then walks away from his hot boyfriend and goes with Captor and the bottle of booze to the secluded area. Dave remembers the directions and with Captor acting as the cop who actually gives a shit about "controlling" Strider, they both go there with ease. The handcuffs were a fucking pain in his wrists and he heard some of the annoying fuckers snickering.

Luckily, Dave gets the handcuffs off of him when they are near enough. And Captor is being fidgety again.

But Dave will ignore this. And he can easily see his bro, Dirk… and _Ampora_…

Dave continues to walk to Dirk.

"Okay, I got the booze. Are we ready for this riot or what?"

Eridan stops staring at a cigarette and sneers at Dave. "W-well, w-well, it took fuckin' long enough."

Eridan then changes his gaze. "…I see you got the cop."

Dave turns his head and sees… that Captor is way too distant and is hiding his face for some reason… Dave rolls his eyes and ignores it. He then looks at the cigarette Ampora is holding. For some reason, it looks… way too different…

"I see that you are lookin' w-what I did w-with this cigarette, Strider. Smother it w-with some chemicals, get a lighter and…"

Ampora gets out a lighter and lit an end of the cigarette. Dave blinks in surprise when he sees sparks coming out of the cigarette. What the hell did Ampora put on it? Then Ampora throws it.

Holy Scheiße on a stick! Once the cigarette hit the ground, it exploded! And then Ampora threw another and it exploded too! This time, it wasn't lit.

Ampora chuckles, "It helps makin' doors open if you hit the locks. Leavves no truce and can get the three of you in three different places w-without the need of hackin'. But you need a distraction…"

"So the bottle of booze is going to start some fire? That's too short." Dirk says.

Ampora snorts and rolls his eyes. "The fire is goin' to help minimalize any guard or prisoner, especially w-with a riot goin' on."

Huh, a riot… Dave can say he's impressed. Ampora does have the interrogation and goon to make any riot happen.

"W-With a fire, there w-will be gallons of w-water poorin' dow-wn in this shithole. The show-wer w-will covver the odor and noise of any explosions. These cigarettes are w-waterproof and as you can tell w-with the second example, do not need a lighter." Ampora explains. "Now-w you havve to tell me w-why I should help?"

Of course, Ampora has to be an asshole. Without him, no riot –and no riot equals no hacking in and getting closer to their escape.

"So, what do you want to hear?" Dirk questions.

Ampora scoffs and rolls his eyes. He then glares at something other than Dave and Dirk. "Your cop, he w-wasn't here w-when you w-were here. He appeared after I w-was here. I know-w that no one, not evven a cop, w-wants to be here. And he fuckin' _hacks_."

Ampora crosses his arms and glares even more. Oh shit, is he looking at–?

"_Captor_, you think I w-wouldn't notice that fuckin' ugly mug of _yours_. Especially those fuckin' shades of yours!" Ampora yells out.

That seems to tick Captor off. "Hey! You knew?! And what the hell do you mean ugly mug! At leatht I don't fucking thot people!"

Dave doesn't know what the hell is going on but he's actually witnessing Ampora and Captor arguing and fighting like some ironic cliché married couple…

"Wait, you two know each other?" Dirk questions with a surprised look on his face.

Captor scoffs. "Oh yeah, we know each other –he thot me!"

Ampora rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "You should be dead –especially w-with that _shot_." Then Ampora glares at both Dirk and Dave. "You think I w-wouldn't notice the help you havve? I had traitors w-with better covver than you tw-wo. This isn't somethin' that people w-would agree to help w-with your riot."

"Oh, ith that why you want me here –to act like a bitchy douche again!"

"Oh! And you bein' here is a fuckin' improvvement! If I had a gun, I w-would–"

"Thot me? Like that worked the firtht time!"

"You got lucky! This time, you w-won't get a second chance…" Ampora walks up to Captor and jabs him with a finger. "And this time, you _die_."

Dirk does a fake cough and both Captor and Ampora look at him. "Look, I want your help, Ampora. And if I have to get English–"

"English again?!" Ampora yells out and then covers his neck with his hand. "And w-why do you keep usin' him for such petty missions?"

"Petty?"

Ampora has the guts to scoff and roll his eyes. "You still don't know-w w-who he is? I sw-wear, evven he seems to forget…"

"Forget what?" Huh, both Captor and Dirk asks at the same time.

Ampora doesn't say anything for a few seconds, still covering his neck with his hand for some reason. "…He w-was a soldier… He w-wasn't a soldier for long but he w-was a soldier…" And then he sneers. "But then he took the cow-ward w-way…"

"The coward way?" Dave questions, "Look, I don't know what the hell do you mean with English being an ex-soldier and Scheiße like that –but help with the riot, we won't let the psycho go murder on your ass."

Ampora looks at Dave. "This is a lot a pointless fuckin' rubbish and there isn't no emotional help to him or me either for that matter just so you know-w. …But _fine_, make sure you havve English aw-way from me… I'm goin' back to my cell… I'll help…"

But of course, nothing goes according to plan… Captor grabs Ampora's arm.

"Wait, you're agreeing to help becauthe of Englith?!" Captor interrogates angrily. "You got to be fucking kidding me! Why would thome pthycho thcare you, you–"

Ampora immediately shows in a few seconds how skilled he is.

He does a quick move to have Captor stop grabbing his arm. He uses the other arm to grab the gun out of Captor's cop belt. And now Ampora is glaring at Captor with the gun pointing at the hacker.

"…If I w-weren't in this shithole, I w-would shot you dead now-w…" Ampora hisses out. "And don't you _ever_ insult Harley…"

Ampora then drops the gun on the ground and leaves.

Dave can't help but wonder what just happened. And what does Ampora mean with insulting Harley? It's English, isn't it? That's Jake's last name, not Harley. Man, English-Harley has a fuck ton of secrets that both Dave and Dirk don't know about. At least, John doesn't have many secrets.

"So," Dirk speaks out. "What exactly is your history with Ampora?"

Captor just crosses his arms and glares at Dirk. "…We uthed to work together. He needed thomeone to help him get rid of athholes, I needed thome cath."

"And how are you not dead?" Dave can't help but ask. Seriously, Ampora was not a guy who let anyone he dislikes go alive.

Captor glares at Dave. "I got lucky. He thot me, I thurvived. That'th _all_."

"No, it's not." Dirk says. "For some smart guy like you, you could easily hack into a different prison. And I can hack too. You can easily see that we were here and that Ampora was here too. You owe us and you could have been dead with Ampora. And Ampora didn't immediately kill on the spot. So why is that and why be here when you know you could go somewhere else?"

Captor doesn't say anything but even Dave knows what's going on. There's a huge way too complicated thing going on with Captor and Ampora. Captor wants something with Ampora and Ampora knows something about English, or was it Harley, whatever Ampora knows something about Jake.

The first escape was definitely easier and less complicated…

At least John is here.

* * *

><p>Dave has got to admit. Ampora does know how to make a good riot.<p>

The bottle of booze was thrown from the upper floor of prison by Ampora and now everyone is wet as fuck. Ampora must have gotten the goons he has to help make a riot as Dirk, Captor, and Dave used the cigarettes to unlock doors and get what each needed. This is a good planned riot.

Dave has the card, some boxes of cigarettes still not opened, and parts of a gun. Dirk must have the tools and parts to create –Wait! Is that… John?!

Oh no! Holy Scheiße! This is bad! John is in the riot! Okay, full on panic now! Oh shit, oh shit, oh fucking shit!

And there's a big muscle guy going towards him…

Nein!

John!

Scheiße!

* * *

><p><strong>And here the chapter ends.<strong>

**I am planning to make a prequel involving with Sollux and Eridan but it's really not anytime soon that it's going to come out. I still need to finish a few things and make sure the history I make with this AU doesn't have any plot holes.**

**But let's focus on this fanfiction. Like the next chapter is going to be John's perspective and how he is going to deal with the guy going towards him… ;D**


	36. Con XXVI: Mother

**Today is the second day of Stevenbomb 3.0 and let's just say, I can't wait for the second episode and cry and sob about it. I hope you guys who haven't seen it can give it a try. It is one of my favorite cartoons and to me is worth watching each and every episode. **

**Also, to gsmith16, thank you for the compliments. And I did answer the question from a reviewer named Kinzerly in Chapter 31, Con XXII Paprika. But here's the answer: I don't really know myself how often I can update at times. But sometimes I can update around one week or two weeks and sometimes maybe a month. But you can check weekly if you want. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXVI<strong>_

_**Mother**_

* * *

><p>What the hell is going on?!<p>

John doesn't know how but a big fight is happening!

Oh god, where's Dave? He might get hurt! He might even get beaten up! John can't have that!

So he tries to look around, tries to make sure he doesn't get into the fight. John tries to be invisible. Oh god, this is like what Dad said! There's chaos! There are people beating people up! Oh no, Dave might be down there! John has to go down...

"Jade… Are you alright…?" Holy shit, John didn't see Jake there! "I am getting very wet… It's still raining but everything seems to be clear to see…"

John looks and blinks at Jake. He wishes he had glasses to find Dave and see what Jake's expression is. But damn, getting completely soaked by the sprinklers and having no glasses at all, John can't see anything! And Dave might be down there and getting beaten up for all he knows!

"Jake… could you get down there with me?"

John can hear Jake chuckling.

"Of course, my dear John…" Even without glasses, John can see Jake on the steel safety bar and jumps off. Holy fuck! Jake didn't break his leg, right?

John takes the safer route and uses the stairs. He squints, trying to find Dave and Jake. Jake is most likely near –hopefully he doesn't have a broken leg…

"You fucking cop!"

"You bastard!"

"Bitch!"

"Fucker!"

"Agh!"

John can't help but cover his mouth with his hand. He feels like he's going to retch out what's inside of his stomach. This is… this is horrible…!

There are people –it doesn't matter if they're a prisoner or a police officer! –they're dropping down to the floor! They're almost… motionless…

Like they're dead like...

John doesn't want to see the floor –he doesn't want to see the… b-blood…

John tries to search for Jake and Dave but can't see anything without any glasses and John can see to only see blurry people fighting each other. And he can't shout out any names –or else he'll get awful attention on him!

Even if John has his glasses, he doesn't think he'll easily find anyone…

"You…!" Oh shit! That's some guy who once threatened to pound his ass and Dave did punch him… "You big ass fucker!"

John runs, trying to get away from the guy as well as avoiding any fight and fist away from him. Thank god that Vriska taught him parkour or else John would be trapped!

John quickly looks back and it doesn't seem the guy is there or near. John quickly turns his head and looks forward. John slides away from a fight and tries to see any significant blond hair or Jake with his deep green eyes.

But he doesn't want to yell out. John doesn't want to have anyone get hurt, especially Dave and Jake.

John moves around and tries to look and search as much as he can. Oh god, Dad is right… People are beating each other up and there is no help, no help at all…

John… John can't breathe… Why… Why can't he breathe?!

John tries to go to the nearest wall. He needs something to lean on. There is so much blood… There's too much blood…!

"Hey, fucker." Wha–

John falls backward and hits someone. His cheek and part of his jaw hurts like hell! What the fuck was that?!

John tries to narrow his eyes and tries to see who punched him. But he gets bumped by someone again. And he gets bumped again! Shit! He can barely see with all the water falling down! He needs to get away!

"You fucking bitch whore!"

'You no-good shit cop!"

"Fucking asshole!"

"Fucker, get back here!" Oh fuck! It sounds like it's directing towards John! John has got to get away from him! "You better come and face me, you fucking pussy!"

Shit! There are too many people! John can feel that guy getting nearer! He has to get away! He has to get away from this guy! He's got to get away from this place!

Fuck! Dead end! Why does there have to be a wall now?! Dave? Jake? Is there anyone to help him! Fuck! _Fuck_!

"There you are, you son of a bitch!"

…What did he say?

…What did he call him…?

What did he say about his mother?

Did he… insult his _mother_!

No one –_no one_ calls his mom a bitch!

John turns around and glares at the man who dare call her a bitch!

John doesn't think. He punches the guy in his goddamn guts! The guy grunts but John isn't finished. He pulls his fist back and slams it to the guy's crotch! John doesn't care if the guy had gone limp. He doesn't waste a second and lifts the no-good fucker off the ground and throws him!

John didn't care about the guys who got hit by the unconscious douche! What does he know about his mom! He didn't even get to know his… mom…

Does he actually have any memory of his mom…?

Fuck… Why did John do that? Why did he feel so offended about that guy insulting someone he doesn't know…? Or can't seem to remember…?

But John doesn't get any time to think.

Someone elbowed him and made him go backwards.

He hit the wall with the back of his head. The high pitch screeching noise is inside of his head and takes no hesitation in piercing it from the inside… The guy… Another guy is ready to punch him…

John feels… like time is slowing down…

He blinks… there is no sound except the high tone screech but John can see…

He blinks again… And John sees Jake had punched the guy away from John…

Jake then crouches down at the guy and gets… two guns that the guy has…

W…What is he doing…?

"Jake…" John croaks out. The noise is getting quieter now as John tries to get up. "Jake…"

Jake takes one of John's arms and helps John get on his feet and standing. "Don't worry, Jade… I won't let you disappear –not again…"

John tries to walk. But dang, John has a terrible headache! And the screeching is still there!

He still needs to find Dave…

Instead, Jake is helping him by putting him gently back to the wall where John can actually lean on it.

"Don't worry… Just take a rest… I'll take care of these mongrel scoundrels…"

Ugh, John wishes this screech inside of his head would just disappear already…! Damn, he'll have to go the infirmary after this…

But there's no way John is going to stay still and hide! He has to find Dave! He disappeared when after lunch. And John does care about this relationship that he has made with him. Dave seems to actually care about him and maybe John can at least have someone to be here in prison…

And maybe after this riot…

He'll try to figure out why his mom seems so important to him…

* * *

><p><strong>And before any of you begin guessing who John's mom is, she is not any of the original Homestuck characters and is just an OC. But you guys can guess her importance and what exactly she is important to the story and characters. <strong>

**In the next chapter, it's going to be a Pro with Dave in it. **


	37. Pro XI: Physical Training

**Now that I'm done with Stevenbomb 3.0 and a birthday present one-shot, it's time to update!**

**I have to tell you guys that I had finished about half of this fanfiction and I am thinking of a sequel for this fanfiction where I can give some answers to some of the mysteries in here –especially with Jake. But for now, I need to finish this fanfiction. **

**And by the way, Elarel, yes there is a Steven Universe reference and please, take your time with translating. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro XI: Physical Training<strong>_

* * *

><p>"<em>Fuck!" <em>

"…_Get up and hold your sword tighter." Bro said. _

_Dave wants to flip him off but he gets his sword and tries to stand up. There is no way he isn't going to give up! He will be stronger! _

_And he will stop having Bro smirking down at him!_

_Dave tries to ignore the annoying pain on his right foot. He leans on his left and glare at Bro. He tries to get a tight grip but his hands are shaking too much. Scheiße! He's going to get his ass beaten up again! _

"_Dude, don't look like you're in pain. The enemy and target will take on full advantage on that." Bro sighs and gets out of his battle stance. "Let's call it quits, I got a date anyway."_

_Dave stares at Bro. Did he really just do that?! He thought it was going to be over soon! Arschloch!_

_But Dave takes advantage of the whole Bro leaving him alone and takes a breath and lie down on the ground. Fuck, everything fucking hurts…_

_He will get a glass of apple juice after he gets up…_

_Dave takes a deep breath in and slowly gets up. His right foot still hurts like a bitch. Dave has to put his weight on his left foot and his sword to stand up. Fuck, he wants to get stronger sooner! _

_Dave breathes out a big sigh. He needs to get inside and walk–Verdammt! Scheiße! Scheiße! Scheiße!_

…_Dave needs to ironically limp to get inside…_

_Dave opens the door and takes the elevator. There is no way he's going to take the damn stairs. And thank fuck that there's no one but him and his sword in this elevator…_

_The elevator dings and Dave ironically limps out of the elevator and into their apartment. Dirk is busy with working on a homemade stun gun while ironically watching My Little Pony. Dave needs to go to the weight room…_

"_Sup, did Bro kick your ass already?" Dirk questions without looking away from the TV. _

"…_not really, he ditched me for some date. We might need to get some of that custom-made ear muffs… I call the pink Foxy Lady ones." Dave answers._

_Dirk snorts, "Fine, the plaid faux is ironic too. Are you going to do weights again?" _

_Of course, his right foot had to hurt like a complete bitch near Dirk… And now Dirk takes his eyes away from the TV and actually looks at Dave. Great, now Dirk sees his right foot…_

"…_Der Verdammte Scheiße, Mann!" Dirk shouts out. "Your foot is fucked up!"_

_Huh? Dirk isn't poking fun at his failure? _

"_For fuck's sake, sit the fuck down now!"_

_Dave ironically limps to the couch. Luckily there are some weights near the couch. But they are training weights… They really don't have any… weight really…_

_But what the hell, Dave has nothing to do. He puts his sword on the ironic coffee table and does some weights. He needs to get stronger and definitely quicker next time. Maybe he should adjust his footings and learn some acrobatic skills. There's always ballet. _

"_How the fuck in all things shitty and ironic did you get your foot this messed up?"_

_Dave rolls his eyes and doesn't answer Dirk's angry question. Maybe he should steal some money and ironically take ballet class. The dudes and women are hot to look at. And what's more ironic than wearing tights and having a pretty frilly pink tutu on?_

"_Maybe that's why Bro left. He saw that fucked up foot of yours…" Dirk mumbles._

"_Hey," Dave responds, "Maybe it's because Bro has his bedazzled thong on and is ready to be rejected by fedora man for the billionth time."_

"_Actually it's a billion and second time." Dirk says as he inspects the wound. "You need to learn how to count again…"_

_Dave does want to respond with the needed sass and irony but –FUCK A DUCKING FUCK! THAT SHIT HURTS! FUCK! __**FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!**_

"_I swear, bro, you need to be more careful. You want to kill your enemy –not get killed by the enemy." Dirk says. _

_Dave rolls his eyes. He'll get them. He'll make sure no one messes with him._

* * *

><p><em>Dave spits out the blood that's been clogging up his nose. Scheiße, this guy is tough! Of course the way over buff muscles aren't for show.<em>

_"You're the fucker that's gonna kill me?" The douche laughs out._

_No, Dave's the fucker who's going to sell him Girl Scout cookies. And Dave seriously needs something sharp to shut this asshole up._

_Dave dodges to the right, getting away from dickhead's beefy fist. Fuck! His right foot isn't fully recovered yet! But he won't show it._

_Dave flash-steps behind the guy and attacks him from the back. Dave puts his arm around the guy's neck and tries to strangle him._

_Of course, this isn't like the movies and the dude is trying to kill him. He easily removes Dave's unprepared one-arm strangle. Dave uses both of his arms to strangle him._

_The fucker swiftly moves back and hits Dave with a damn wall._

_Dave spits out a curse and tries to ignore the annoying ringing and pain in his head. He tries to hold on. But unfortunately this is reality._

_The musclehead used both of his hands and threw Dave over and away from him. And Dave cursed as he crashes onto trash cans._

_"You fucking shithead! The fuck does a little bitch like you come here and try to fuck me up?" Dave doesn't answer. "Did one of the bitches send you?"_

_Dave seriously wants to flip him off. But fuck! He damn hurts!_

_Dave tries to catch a breath but a foot is jabbed to his gut. And he repeatedly kicks in the gut._

_Ugh! Motherfu–! Scheiße! Dave tries to cover his gut away from the kicking._

_Dave feels like his eyes are bleeding and ready to pop out. Dave tries to blink. His sight blurring in and out…_

_He feels too lightheaded and his head ready to explode…!_

_Dave tries to move his other hand –tries to reach for something…_

_Dave flinched at the discovery of something sharp prick his finger. Dave forces himself to blink to have a clearer vision. It's… It's broken glass… It's good enough for a knife._

_Dave doesn't think. He immediately tries to get up and ignores the stinging punch in his lungs as he stabs the man. There's a scorching stab on his hand as he keeps holding on the sharp broken glass._

_Dave feels dizziness consuming him. The ringing is deafening him. But he sees red._

_Dave doesn't think. He dodges the kick, the punch, and the tackle. Dave flash-steps and he jumps. The screaming is helping to quiet the screeching ringing. There are successful and weaker hits on Dave but Dave doesn't feel. He stabs. He bashes and slits and slashes and stabs!_

_The rush pumping through his entire body as Dave slices, cuts, and ends this fucker._

_Dave immediately stops by a whistle. He blinks and smears off some blood off of him with his arm. He feels himself flinch and tense as he can feel both his hands bleeding and hurting. It feels like they're tearing and oozing out from their sliced and stabbed wounds from the glass._

_Dave turns his head and sees Bro, amused._

_"…So you cut him and yourself to overpower the guy? Risky but it's ironic." Bro says and then looks at Dave's hands. "Need to get them fixed though."_

_Dave just nods and stares down at his hands. He couldn't risk losing his weapon so he used both of his hands to hold the glass. He watches his blood get out of his hands, feeling the ripping sting as drops of blood get out. His hands tense and twitch at the pain but Dave doesn't cry._

_He feels satisfaction that he killed the dude and annoyed at the pain on his hands._

_Dave stands up and follows Bro to the car. Great, Dirk is going to panic a shit ton… He doesn't look weak but damn! His hands hurt like an asshole fucking bitch!_

_"Dave," Bro says. "You succeeded but be careful. Don't let looks fool you."_

_Dave rolls his eyes. "Really, you're giving me cheesy ironic advice to me now?"_

_But Bro just smirks, "You'll see."_

* * *

><p>…Was zum Teufel ist passiert?!<p>

Seriously, what the hell happened?!

A big buff guy was chasing John and then Dave couldn't see what they were doing and –that musclehead asshole was thrown like he was nothing!

What the fuck?! Did Dave somehow have gotten high or shit?

This water pouring on him must be laced with something because–

"Thtrider! We got everything we need! What the hell are you thtaring at?"

"Dave! Bro! Seriously, what's going on?"

Dave turns his head and was about to say something but–

_Bang_! _Bang_!

Who the hell is shooting?!

"Jake?!"

"Englith?!"

Holy fuck, English came out where John and muscle-fuck were! Did English… do that to the guy…?

Was Ampora really telling them the truth about English being an actual soldier?!

Is what Bro meant when he gave that shitty and cheesy advice to Dave…?

Is English more than this psycho guy who is a good fighter and obsesses over his deceased niece…? And–

Whoa! English is moving! Quick and shooting with ease! Where is he going? What is he–?

"Wait! Where ith Ampora?!"

…Oh shit…

Oh Scheiße!

"E.D.!"

* * *

><p><strong>And the chase is on. <strong>

**Next chapter is a Con with Jake. And let's just say that Jake doesn't exactly like Eridan –especially trying to have one of his goons harm the Striders only for Jake to stab the guy's neck and lose his glasses privilege. **


	38. Con XXVII: Eridan

**I have to tell you guys that there's importance with Eridan Ampora as he knows all of the four main prisoners. **

**And there will be more explanation and clues with what happened in the past but first thing first, there's Eridan.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXVII<strong>_

_**Eridan**_

* * *

><p>Jake will protect John…<p>

He will not lose another again!

So he punched that wretched filth away from her!

Jake gets the guns out of the worthless shit and helps John.

"Get upstairs, Jade…" Jake says.

"Wait! …Jake… Don't kill anyone…" Johnny-Jade speaks.

"...Alright."

Jake nods to himself. He must let that echo in his head. He cannot break this promise with him. Jake will not try to kill anyone –kill no one at all…

Jake moves and runs. He has to find out who caused this chaos…!

_Bang!_ Jake stops a cop from attacking him.

_Bang!_ He stops a prisoner from doing so.

Jake must search. He must run and find. Jake looks up and searches for a person. The one who is witnessing this riot is most likely the cause. He must be on upper floor. The cause would never want to be part of the consequence. Jake sees… Strider, Captor, and Dirk…

It must be them… But why would they do this…? Unless, they did not planned for Jake or John to be in this riot… Of course, that's it. He forgives them.

Jake dodges and hits a scoundrel with the back of the gun. And Jake elbows another guy and shots him. Jake then sees someone else is on the upper floor… someone he _despises_…

Eridan _Ampora_…!

That scoundrel!

Jake has to get him!

Jake takes a quick glance at Dirk. He forgives him. Dirk did suggest that there will be a good movie. Dirk must have not planned for the TV to stop working because of the water. He wanted for Jake and Jade to be safe.

But Eridan _Ampora_…

There's no way Jake isn't going to let this opportunity pass…

He has to move.

There's a big guy there and struggling. Jake has to move now.

Jake slides to the right and shoots one in the leg. Jake elbows one man in the gut. Jake runs, dodges left, and hit another with a bullet. He has to run faster.

Ampora is looking around, looking for someone. Jake is losing time!

Jake needs to run faster. He shoots the big scoundrel in the back of his leg. The big vile goes down. Jake has his foot on him. Jake takes another step and jumps.

Jake lets go one of his guns and reaches out for Ampora.

Time feels slow as Ampora turns his body and head to finally look and be shocked at the sight of Jake. He should be. Ampora tries to go backwards, tries to go away from Jake. But Ampora is too late.

Jake grabs one of Ampora's sleeves.

He drops the other gun. And Jake reaches out to grab something.

Jake grabs the soggy, wet neck brace. Jake pulls on both of the sleeve and the neck brace. Jake moves his feet, trying to land on something.

Jake blinks once and sees Ampora has a knife. Jake takes another grab at Ampora's sleeve, trying to pull himself in. Jake foolishly flinches as Ampora stabs one of his hands –the one grabbing his sleeve.

But Jake keeps his hold on. He isn't going to let go. Jake pulls on the neck brace and sleeve more. He doesn't care that the sleeve and neck brace feels like they're ripping apart. But Jake won't fall. Ampora threatened Dirk. He won't get away with it!

Jake blinks and feels himself bounce. He narrows his eyes and tries to see. Oh fuck, Ampora can't handle the weight of him and Jake…! _Fuck!_

Jake can hear it. Jake can feel it. Ampora is slipping and both the sleeve and the neck brace is almost ripped and torn off. _Shit_, this isn't looking good!

But Jake has to hold on! He will hurt Ampora! Even if it means he has to fall down too! He can't get away! He can't!

_Rip!_

"F-Fuck!"

"Oh god, Jake! I-I'll get you!"

Jake blinks and sees… John?!

Jake blinks again and sees John grabbing onto Ampora and pulling them… Jake feels and hears the sleeve and neck brace–

_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!_

_Fuck!_ Fuck, Jake tries to grab something –anything! –to hold on! Jake grabs his collar. He grabs his shoulder. Jake ignores the neck brace and the sleeve falling down. Jake holds on as Jadey-John pulls him and Ampora up. Jake tries to help by using his legs to climb the concrete floor. And he risks freeing an arm and a hand to climb the metal bars and to finally get over and land on the floor. Jake coughs and breathes.

There's not much water up here. Jake has his eyes closed shut and he can hear… running. Jake spits out the excess water that hit his face. He blows out his watery boogers off his nose. Pain and piercing heat hit his nose. Jake tries to open his eyes but it's so blurry…

Jake blinks multiple times and turns his head to see… Ampora! No!

Jake groans and tries to get up. Jake swipes his nose and then has his balance. He–

"Wait! Jake!" John?! Why is he holding Jake?! "D-Didn't he have a boat on his arm?"

"Jade, please let go! I need to catch him!" Jake pleads as he gently pulls away. "Yes, there is some boat tattoo on his arm –I got to go!"

Jake doesn't want to be rude to her but he can't lose Ampora! He can't! Jake will get that fucker! That no-good coward! Jake runs as fast as he can to catch him.

Jake sees an officer –he's decent and not a scoundrel. But Jake needs a gun.

Jake takes a surge and body-slams the officer to a wall. Jake hears a bump and immediately gets the gun. He grips the gun and runs towards Ampora.

Jake sees him. Ampora is running to the right. Jake follows. Jake sees a scoundrel. Ampora passes the scoundrel. Jake shoots the scoundrel. _Bang!_

Jake sees Ampora go off. Jake shoots the scoundrel officer that was coming from the right. _Bang!_ Jake runs more. He will get him! No more goons! No more scoundrel officers!

No one shall help this coward scoundrel! He uses men like they're damn tools! And he threatened Dirk! Jake had to stab that clay-brained scut with his glasses! And now, Jake will get Ampora! Jake will get that bootless ill-nurtured prince-pig Ampora!

Jake swerves to a left and catches more and more to Ampora.

Good! Ampora is in a dead end and –What the flipping fuck?!

The jerkwad unlocked the fucking door! That boorish cur! Jake takes another surge and runs toward the closing door!

No! He can't lose him now! Jake lunges for the door and –Yes!

Jake spits a deep breath out and slams the door open. However, Jake shuts his eyes closed immediately. _Fuck_, he didn't know it was this bright outside!

Jake takes a peek out, trying to stop the sunlight from blinding him. He needs to find him. He needs to find Ampora.

"Jake!"

Jake slams the door closed behind him and tries to find Ampora. Jake will not be stopped. Jake adjusts quickly to sunlight, sees Ampora, and…

Jake readies himself and the gun…

He aims…

He readies to fire…

_Bang!_

He got him.

* * *

><p><strong>Of course, I have to leave it here. XD<strong>

**I am focusing on working some other fanfiction. I will complete The Red Lily in the Violet Valley with the last chapter almost complete and done. **

**The next chapter will be a Con and in Dirk's perspective. **


	39. Con XXVIII: Ampora

**Back to school but I'm in college now. It's pretty cool and things are definitely different here than in high school. But I'm having a good time for now –until the exams come and attack me…**

**But I had time to do this chapter, I want to give out and reveal some info about the characters. Hopefully no one is too busy or stressed about school now. **

**Hope you guys have a nice day and here's the chapter.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXVIII<strong>_

_**Ampora**_

* * *

><p>"Thit! Thit! <em>THIT<em>!"

"Come on, Captor! Get it open!"

"I'm trying for fuck'th thake!"

Dirk watches as both Dave and Sollux panic. Both are worrying about Ampora. Dave knows that without Ampora, there will be no supplies and the Ampora family will fuck them horribly bad. And Dirk is a professional heartbreaker to know that Sollux Captor is worrying about Ampora for a big complete different reason.

But Dirk is worried about Jake, especially with that gunshot noise…

Dirk should have explained to Jake that… that…

_Click!_

"Fucking finally! E.D.!"

Dirk follows quick behind Dave and Sollux as they charge into outside. Both Dave and Sollux are searching around, trying to find either Ampora or Jake. Where could they be?

_Clang!_

Of course, they forgot the damn weight room! It's the ironic playroom!

Dirk, Dave, and Sollux run to where all the weights are and – Ach Gott sei Dank, Ampora is alive!

But he isn't well…

Ampora has a fuckload of weights on top of him. And Jake is near him and pointing a gun at Ampora… _Fuck_…!

"English! Whoa! Don't shoot!" Dave yells out.

English looks up and smiles. Dirk immediately sees that Jake is… he isn't fully there…

"…Hello…friends…" Jake speaks with that _tremoring_ voice… Scheiße, this is bad. "I finally… I finally caught him… I finally caught Ampora…!"

Dirk readies himself and he knows that Dave is as well. They can't make any mistake or else–

"Englith! Pleathe don't–!"

_Bang!_

Jake chuckles as Sollux falls back and lands on his ass. Scheiße, Dirk forgot about Sollux. Hopefully the skilled hacker stays there…

"…That was very… very _rude_, Mister Captor…" Jake speaks and chuckles. He stops pointing the gun at Captor and back at Ampora."…I am doing some work here, Captor…"

"Jake, why are you doing this?" Dirk gently asks. "Please, tell me why…"

Jake stares at Dirk with those lifeless eyes. Dirk tries to look gentle as well as stay his ground. But Jake can't kill Ampora. Ampora is too important. But Dirk has to listen to Jake first.

"…He's a traitor… Ampora is a gutless, bootless prince brat who try to hurt you…" Jake then chuckles. "And he has given me pain…and _betrayal_…"

Dirk doesn't understand. How did he–?

"H-Harley!" Ampora shouts out and Dirk can see that Ampora is panicking and… covering his neck…? "I-I… I didn't know-w! I thought you w-were dead! You –You didn't savve me! The bomb–"

Jake silences Ampora. Dirk flinches. Jake actually hit Ampora with the back of the gun… And what the fuck is Ampora saying?!

"Shut up! I won't remember!" Jake shouts out and _fuck_, he looks more… unstable…

"Englith! Pleathe! You can't kill him!"

But Jake laughs. "Kill him? …Oh no… I'll shoot him… I'll shoot this fucker! This no-good fucking _fucker_!"

"No!"

_Bang!_

…

…What the fuck?!

"John!"

"…Jade…?"

Dirk doesn't know what the fuck is going on or how the fuck this is happening but… John Egbert is here and he just grabbed and pushed Jake's arm away… just so the gun is now pointed at the sky and the bullet is far away from Ampora's body. And how the fuck did Egbert get here?! The doors are locked and have codes!

"…Jade–?"

"Again, I'll say it. _No_. Just –just don't do it, Jake…"

"But Ampora–"

"_Jake_, please…" John croaks out. "Please don't shoot him…"

Jake immediately becomes furious. "Why…! Why defend that hope destroyer! He–"

"He's my friend's brother!"

And then there's silence. Dirk feels like a lot of shit had bitch-slapped him and left him completely confused. Because this can't be right. It can't be! This _guy_, this dude that they barely know but Dave is dating, knows about the Amporas! Egbert didn't even recognize Ampora on his first day!

Then Jake stops the silence and narrows his eyes at Egbert. "How do you know that Ampora is the brother of this… friend of yours, Johnny-Jade…?"

John doesn't let go of Jake's arm but uses his other arm to point down somewhere at Ampora's body. "…It's his tattoo. E-Even though I can't see very well, I know and remember the tattoo my friend has. He even said that his brother has the same tattoo like him."

"W-Wait!" Ampora shouts out. "You know-w Cro?! You know-w about Cronus?!"

John looks at Ampora and is laughing… nervously…? "Yeah… He didn't really tell or remind me about his last name. I kind of forgot…"

…He's got to be shitting them…

Dirk can't believe what he's hearing. This guy knows Cronus but doesn't bother about Eridan Ampora.

Then again, Egbert is rich so… Oh god, Dirk needs to know more of Egbert… He'll definitely get help from Captor.

"And I thought you promised me that you wouldn't kill anyone, Jake…" Egbert says with uncertainty. It looks like Egbert is somehow losing his guts but then again, he has his hand on Jake who has a gun…

Dirk looks at Jake. He can't tell what Jake is feeling or thinking right now. Jake can be unpredictable and Dirk doesn't know what to do or say. Dirk turns his head to see Dave is both curious and confused. And it looks like Captor is openly showing fear and worry for obviously Ampora. Dirk turns his head back to see Jake is… shaking…?

Warten Sie, he's laughing!

Dirk looks around to see he isn't the only one surprised, confused, and wondering what in all ironic fucks is going on. And Jake stops laughing and smiles down both at Egbert and Ampora…

_Bang!_

With no words, Jake just shot another bullet to the sky. Egbert didn't expect that and flinched away. Egbert even fell on top of Ampora.

But it looks like Jake isn't going to shoot anymore… He stops raising the gun and has it to his side. Is it okay to move now?

Jake immediately answers by walking towards Captor.

Jake squats down and drops the gun on Captor's lap. "…I surrender for now…"

Dirk watches as Jake gets up and helps Captor up. Dirk feels like one ironic idiot as he watches his brother try to help John by offering him a hand and now… getting a towel…?

Dirk just ironically stares as John gets off of Ampora and then gets the weights off of Ampora. It looks like Egbert is also looking at the tattoo, maybe he's making sure and getting a better look at it…

"Dirk…"

Dirk turns his head and blinks at… Jake…

Jake already looks better and he's… handcuffed…?

Dirk immediately looks at Captor and gives him a glare. Captor, the asshole with a lips that he is, shrugs.

"Englith wanted me to. He thaid that you guyth got to get back to your thellth. And he'th right. The riot ith motht likely over now."

"W-Well, let's go now-w. Before any of us get caught."

And Dirk immediately snorts in amusement of the towel that's acting as Ampora's neck brace. Dave got the towel for that?

That's ironically funny.

* * *

><p>Thank all the ironic holy supernatural things that people believe Captor somehow caught and handcuffed all of them with little suspicion.<p>

But of course, the riot has consequences. Lunch time, Dirk is here with Dave, John, and Captor in a random cell that smells like rotten grease and piss…

"…Tho Egbert," Captor begins talking. Of course, he is adding the ironic embarrassing atmosphere. "What'th… What'th Ampora'th brother like?"

John stops eating and blinks at Captor. "Um, why do you want to know?"

Captor shuffles his feet. Of course, Captor has to stand and be like any guard. At least it's not one of those real ones or else Dave wouldn't wither be here or have his arm around Egbert's shoulders.

"I'm curioth, that'th all."

John hums and thinks. "Well, I didn't meet him a lot but from what I can remember, he's… well… he's a hopeless flirting, attention-wanting, rude, music lazy douchebag who loves Harry Potter and greasers way too much."

Dirk successfully holds his laughter while Dave lets it out. The hopeless flirting, attention-wanting, music lazy douchebag is ironically very accurate.

"My first impression of him wasn't really great. And after what I did with his nose, it was mutual…"

And Dirk ironically gives up. Okay, he gives John full ironic props for hitting Cronus in the nose!

"You punched Ampora'th brother?!"

John nervously laughs. "Um… more like kicked…"

And both Dirk and Dave laughed harder at this.

Immediately, the ironic awkward atmosphere disappears as both Dirk and Dave laugh their asses off ironically. They really didn't like Cronus and to hear someone kicked him on the nose, that's awesome and fucking hilarious! Dirk is definitely giving John ironic props and respect or what he did to Cronus. Dirk can see that Captor is hiding his smile.

"Really? Ith that it?" Captor asks and he's definitely trying to contain his smile. Even Captor knows that it's hilarious to hear someone getting kicked in the nose.

"Well, what do you want to hear?" John giggles out. "He didn't want to talk to me. And when he talked, he first had this nasally voice and–"

"He had a broken nose and nevver w-wanted to talk about it."

And the cheerful and happy atmosphere is gone. Ampora is here. And he is… nervous…?

Ampora looks at John and has his arms crossed. "…Hello John…"

"Um, hello… Ampora…"

Ampora nods and hums. "It's Eridan, my name is Eridan Ampora. But w-whatevver, I need to talk to you."

"Talk to me?"

"Yes, I w-was w-wonderin' w-who you are after w-what happened."

Dirk can see that Dave and Captor are unsure what Ampora will do but it seems that both of their body language that says that they both will allow Ampora be here but with obvious hesitance. Dirk feels similar to the situation…

"…Are you Egbert or Crocker?" Ampora asks but is on guard. "Speak the truth."

All eyes are on John. Dirk stays silent and he can see Dave is whispering and comforting John. John nods and licks his lips.

"Well, my real last name is Egbert but…"

"But?"

John takes a deep breath in. "I used the last name, Crocker, when I go outside of the house –well, when I used to go outside of home…"

Dirk can easily see that Ampora is shocked by the answer. But Ampora immediately has his face neutral and calm-looking. But's it too late. Everyone saw his expression.

"…John Crocker, it's been long…" Okay, what?! "You look better w-without the blond hair." Ampora has a smirk on. "Are you still doin' fights before you got here?"

"Wait, how do you know about that?"

Ampora chuckles, "I w-would go to that shithole to gamble and talk to some people. I'm just surprised you w-would go out of the door than that w-window-w of yours."

"Wait! Did you say window…? You…You remember me…? You know me, right?"

But Ampora doesn't look like he's bothered with John who is completely panicking.

"Yes, I remember and knew-w you." Ampora answers calmly. "But I'm not here to–"

"Wait, how? And when? I-I don't remember you!"

Dirk looks at everyone in this quiet and tense situation. Dave is doing the ironic widened eyes, Captor is looking at Ampora with some look on his face, and John is looking at Ampora as if he's going to get some answers with convincing him. Yeah right, Dirk has to use Jake in order to get something from Ampora. There is no way in hell and everything ironic that–

"It w-was around the time w-we w-were both eight and w-we only interacted w-with each other because I… I know-w your fiancé."

…

…Did that just happened?! An Ampora answered without anything other than the question?! Was zum Teufel! Seriously! What. The. Fuck?!

"But I'm not here to talk about that, Mister Crocker." Whoa! Okay, now Ampora is talking to John like he's superior?! "I'm only here to inform you that I'm thankful for you savvin' my life and I w-will be happy to help you, especially w-with your planned escape w-with the Striders and Harley, Mister Crocker. And…"

Ampora walks up to John, smiles, takes out something, and…

"My glasses!"

Ampora nods. "I thought it w-would be a nice thank you gift for jumpin' out of that w-window-w and savvin' me from Harley. But I got to go –he's comin'."

"Wait!" John shouts out. "…Could you tell me more about myself? About my past? Please…?"

Ampora stares at John and blinks twice before shaking his head no. "I can't… Your father and Ahab has told me to nevver revveal that past of yours."

"My Dad…?"

Ampora nods. "You'll find out soon, Mister Crocker."

No one had a chance to say anything as Ampora immediately leaves. But Dirk can see that Captor has something on his mind. Personally, Dirk hopes those two can talk and work with their mysterious issues with each other. Then again, one can't simply forgive someone who shot them…

"Um, Dave," John speaks out and looks at Dirk's brother. "What does Eridan mean by…escape?"

Dirk blinks and then sighs.

It looks like it's finally time to explain…

* * *

><p><strong>And that's the end of this chapter. Hopefully this is enough as I will get busy with school and other works that I need to work on. <strong>

**But hey, there's some good news. I am preplanning some of the chapters and who knows, they might be a very valuable or interesting chapter. **

**Hope you guys have a nice day. See you soon.**


	40. Pro XII: Mental Training

**Sorry it's been long guys, college has been taking some of my time and I had lost my flash drive…**

**Hopefully I will update with more time but I can't be so sure since there's exams and all…**

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><p><em><strong>Pro XII: Mental Training<strong>_

* * *

><p>'In one sense, psychology can be viewed as a body of knowledge: facts, principles, and theories about many aspects of behavior. Yet it is more than this; it also involves an <em>approach<em> to the study of these topics –a set off methods for obtaining information and thinking about them.'

_Dirk scoffs at this. He has read this psychology book and still hasn't learned any manipulation methods. _

_This sucks! He should have taken something else –like a guidebook on how to make Rainbowdash. _

"_Dirk, stop glaring at the book –I didn't borrow that just for irony."_

_Dirk jumps in surprise and sees his smirking Bro. Of course, Bro is ironically a master at being an assassin while Dave and Dirk aren't anywhere near there…_

"…_Is Dave fighting off a guy?" _

"_Yup, the dude is enjoying it. I swear, he thinks being covered and bathed in blood is ironic." _

_Dirk immediately feels mad inside. Of course, Bro is going to mention Dave…_

_Dave seems to be the bro that can torture and murder people with ease and is comfortable with fighting and using force. Dirk can fight but of course, Dave is the better fighter. Dirk has to rely on thinking and manipulating people in order to get an advantage…_

"_So, are you still flirting with gramps?" Dirk asks as he puts away the psychology book safely and securely. "I don't think you can have a similar ironic relationship like Uncle Bro…"_

_Bro gives out both a chuckle and the finger to Dirk. "Oh shut up, "gramps" is more than just some retired gunsman –he taught a fuck ton of being an assassin and an ironic badass to me. He gave me a life –of course I'm going to ironically fall in love with that hot old man." _

_Dirk rolls his eyes. "Dude, you already told me that story. Don't need to hear it again." _

"_Oh come on, let me enjoy my story. It is how I get to be here instead of being dead." _

"_And he's your first love –yeah, yeah, I know." Dirk says nonchalantly. Dirk knows about that and so does Dave. Dirk already knows that Bro really does love the old man but still, Bro should get interested with someone younger. "Hey, I'm going out. I'll bring some money back." _

"_Hey, try to get information from someone –consider it your training for today." _

_Dirk hums and nods. He needs to train on his manipulation and strangers are the best things to train on. He messes his hair, puts on the contacts, and readies himself. _

_First, he needs a location. Perhaps the store that's near here is a good beginning. He can record people's behavior as he goes public place to public place. _

"_I'm leaving now." _

"_Don't bring a fuck buddy after six." _

_And Dirk leaves._

_Dirk does get some info on the cashier. He takes his phone out and checks a website until a customer comes up to him. The cashier acts completely bored out of his mind until a man with a white taper Mohawk comes near his station. Dirk can easily see that the cashier is happy and nervous to see the man. Easily, the cashier has a crush on the guy and is at least and possibly a homosexual. _

_Dirk walks out of the store and goes to a park. He sits on a bench and sees… _

_Kids younger than Dirk are playing. There… 6… 7… 8… twelve, there are twelve kids here. Dirk has his notebook ready. _

_A brother and a sister has expensive clothes and accessories, meaning they're rich, and they are playing some sort of rivalry with each other. The sister has two kids helping her but it looks like she is either oblivious or ignoring what the other kids are feeling. A girl has a crush on her –hopefully she gets over it. The boy seems to have a contracting imagination compared to the rich girl as Dirk can hear them argue a bit about what boat they're on. Hopefully, the rich girl doesn't hurt him…_

_Two kids are on a tree, one has binoculars with her… The other is a boy who is looking at two kids. One has a tabloid while the other is watching. That's an unnecessary love triangle there… Hopefully, nothing too fucked up happens. _

_And then there's this loud kid who is staring at two girls. One girl is giggling and looked like she went to a pool before coming here. The other girl is doing a dare while some boy is laughing and pushing her to do it. She looks like she's already regretting about the dare which is licking the slide…_

_Dirk has all of the kids' actions recorded in his notebook. Now, he needs to–_

"_Aren't you going to play?" _

_Oh Scheiße, there's a stranger next to him. Okay, okay, Dirk needs to calm down. He can act normal. "No, not really, I think I'm too old for this." _

_She chuckles. "No kid is too old for playing. My son would love this instead of having an indoors playdate. I swear, James need to relax…" _

_Ah, this is a perfect opportunity. "Who's James, miss?" _

"_Oh, he's just my wonderful husband. He worries about me. And he cares so much about family…" _

_Dirk refrains from immediately recording this info on his notebook. Huh, this woman seems to be in the interesting mood to talk and be open. Dirk has to act normal… He needs to act normal… _

"_Is he a good husband, ma'am?" _

_The stranger laughs. "Oh yes, he's the absolute best. Which is pretty funny compared to how we felt for each other when we first met…"_

"_Really? Did something happen, ma'am?" _

_The stranger sits on the bench with Dirk and sighs. _

"_I used to hate my husband –we never fell in love when we got married." She confesses. "It wasn't like we had a choice –it was arranged and even though we didn't talk to each other much, we did a little dumb deal." _

"_How is it dumb, miss?"_

_She silently sighs and quietly laughs. "We both found someone to like, at least try to love I guess. We both agree on it since we don't like each other… And I guess we were happy at first, not being around each other…" _

_Dirk knows that what she is doing is trying to let out and relieve something that is bothering her by confessing to a kid who's supposed to be very ignorant of this. And she wants is an innocent answer. _

"_It turns out… my ex was taking advantage of me, the one that I wanted to like him a lot… he tried to use my blood and my name to gain some things… I didn't really like him a lot but I was… sad…" _

"_What a jerk…" Dirk responds. _

"_Yeah… that's one way of describing him. And it turns out I wasn't the only one. James was getting robbed by his mistress and–"_

"_What's a mistress?" Dirk asks but he knows what it is. _

"_Uh… just some pretty person I guess…" She answers. "But yeah, James and I were getting cheated by the lover we each had… and we complained a lot and understood each other and… talk…" She laughs nonchalantly. "And to think, that's how we fell in love with each other in the first place…" _

_Dirk has got to admit that part of the story has some serious irony there. The woman is most likely in an arranged marriage and bother her and the husband did not like each other. They get into a deal that each can get a lover. And when their lovers are using them, they fell in love with each other. That's some good irony. _

"_What happens next? It's like an adventure, miss." Dirk insists. _

_The woman laughs and sighs. "Well, later I had a baby in me out of love and he looks so healthy and wonderful and… But…" She then frowns. "My ex had somehow figured it out –said something about his eyes, that no-good…" She mumbled out something that Dirk can't hear clearly. But Dirk believes he knows what type of words she's mumbling about. _

_Dirk sees how her body is showing… sadness. This must be the problem she's having. Whatever it is, Dirk can't let her hide and make sure she trusts him. _

"_Ma'am… did something bad happen?" Dirk asks, trying to sound pitiful and trustworthy. _

"…_Do you have a brother?" _

…_Huh?_

"_Huh…?" _

"_A brother, do you have one?"_

"_Well, I have a twin brother." Dirk answers. Some truth will help with making her trust him. _

_She leans back and blinks a couple of times. "I have two sons. I love both of them with all my heart… I love them. I love them so much… But… but then…" _

_Dirk watches as the woman is beginning to tear up. She wants to cry. _

"_That… that __**jerk**__ kidnapped him… He kidnapped one of them! He took away my son…!" She chokes out. "He tricked him and took him away from me…! I couldn't find him…" _

_Dirk gently pats her as she sobs quietly and is shaking a little. Dirk needs to be patient. So some asshole stole one of her children… That is some sad shit right there…_

_Maybe Dirk can get Bro's help. Even though Dirk is supposed to be professional, there's no way he should–_

"_Hey little bro, here's where you've been. I've been looking for you, Andy. Are you okay, miss?" Bro?!_

_The woman lifts her head and wipes her tears and runny makeup off of her face. Damn it, she has her guard on. Dirk has to act normal though. He can't pout as the woman and Bro talk to each other and ignore Dirk… _

_Wait, maybe Bro can help find her other kid. They can kill the jackass –Dirk maybe can kill the jackass! _

"…_Excuse me, Andy…" _

_Dirk immediately responds and turns his head to look at the woman. She looks a bit better…_

"…_Do you think he'll forgive me? You know, my… my other son…?" She wipes under her eye but still looks directly at Dirk. She wants reassurance… "I mean, I haven't been a good mom but… do you think he'll forgive me and… accept me…?" _

"_Um…" Dirk chokes out. Scheiße, this is harder than Dirk thought! But he has to! He has to make sure she feels better! And he can do it! Dirk can do it! "I think so… I think you're already a good mom now, ma'am…"_

_She smiles and pats him on the shoulder. "Thank you…" _

_And she stands up and leaves… _

"_Dirk, you need to go back home. Dave's back and he wants to watch an ironic movie together. I think you did your mission with her so let's go." _

"_Of course, Bro," Dirk answers. But then he remembers what he wants help from Bro for. "Hey Bro—"_

"_No, we can't help her." _

_Was?!_

"_But Bro–!" _

"_We're not helpers, Dirk. We are something else. We're not heroes and we can't pretend to be." Bro says. "Look, I know you want to help but you have to control yourself. You can't mentally weaken yourself like that." _

"_But she's–"_

"_She's someone with power, Dirk." Bro hisses out. "I don't trust her. She has both blood and name on her. You don't know her but she might have known you, Dirk. What happens if it was a trap? Fuck…!" _

_Dirk didn't think like that… _

"_Look… Dirk, I know you're training your brain but you need to also train yourself." Bro sighs out. "…Remember, everyone is predictable if you learn, okay? Don't want you getting kidnapped and shit…" _

"…_I got it…" _

_Bro then puts his hand on Dirk's shoulder. "…Hey bro, I know you want to help and someday, if she actually needs help, you might help her without you or her knowing, okay?"_

_Dirk nods, "Okay." _

_And Dirk can't really forget her. _

_Those green eyes are something to remember…_

* * *

><p>Jake enters the cell and smiles.<p>

"Hello… I'm here…" He chuckles.

Jake goes near Dirk and sits right next to him. He gives Dirk a smile and puts his head on Dirk's shoulder. Dirk keeps his face emotionless and neutral. But of course, Dave is snickering at Dirk's cheeks which are on fire.

But Dirk doesn't care. He's mentally exhausted with the whole Ampora event that happened here…

"Jadey-John… I saw it…" Jake giggles. "The window… The window was broken and you jumped… You jumped out of that window and…" Jake giggles out louder. "I kept my promise…"

"Promise? What do you mean? You shot people!" John shouts out.

Jake giggles and looks at Captor.

"Actually," Captor says. "All the prithonerth and offitherth that were that were thot are only injured. And, uh, it theemth that Englith wath the only one who thot and didn't mith…"

…Was?

"And?" Jake coos out.

"…And all are going to be okay? Theriouthly, Englith, without you thooting Ampora, you didn't try to kill anyone. Ith there thomething you're not telling uth?"

Jake giggles. "All are not dead because I shot only non-vital… _See_… I kept my promise as always… You can't kill someone by hitting at the non-vitals…"

But then Captor asks it. "Thay Englith, um, I heard from thomewhere that you were, uh, a tholdier. Ith that true…?"

Dirk can see Jake stiffen and even tremble in anger, he's ready to hurt someone and… now he's laughing. And he's laughing _really_ loud…

"Oh…" Jake chuckles out. "You mean my other self? My former self? I can't tell you, you see…" Jake giggles out. "I killed myself…!"

"Wa–Was?!"

"I'm sorry, Dirk… I didn't mean to hide you anything…" Jake coos while still giggling. "I should have told you –I should have told all of you… I killed myself with something called Lethe's Seeds… or was it Pills of Lethe –who knows!"

Dirk just stares at Jake who's laughing a bit too much. He actually knows what pills Jake is mentioning. Those are memory loss pills, only illegally purchased pills to purposely make people forget stuff for good. And not only that, those pills can be _very_ effective with blocking memories and there's its infamous side effect…

"I wrote a letter to myself so I can be reborn again…" Jake says after he finishes his laughter. "Told myself to ready myself and ready to raise my sweet jewel… Jade…"

Jake stops smiling and then frowns.

"Of course, after I get my revenge and justice," Jake growls. "I shall kill myself again… _permanently_…"

Dirk opens his mouth but Jake just stands up and goes.

…_Shit_, Jake can't be serious. But Dirk knows that he is. But Dirk won't allow him.

"Oh and Captor," Jake pauses and speaks. Captor looks both surprised and scared. "Since you worry about Ampora so much…"

Jake jabs his finger on Captor. And then he giggles.

"That's where I would have shot Ampora… He'll be knocked out but he won't be dead… Remember, you can't kill someone by hitting at the non-vitals… Any skilled shooter would know that…"

And then Jake leaves.

Captor looks completely… conflicted…

Whatever happened with Ampora must be reminding Captor something…

But Dirk has to focus.

If he needs to, Dirk will save Jake.

He will save Jake from himself.

With all the mental training he's got…

* * *

><p><strong>And that's the end of this chapter. Hopefully this chapter is okay with you guys. <strong>

**If anyone is wondering what "Lethe" is, in Greek mythology, it was one of the five rivers of Hades where anyone who drank from it experience complete forgetfulness and be ready to be reincarnated. I thought it would something interesting you guys want to know. **

**And I do want to reveal Jake's past to you guys but it is more fun like this. I promise I will try to reveal more and more about Jake's past through the story. Hopefully you can figure out most of the events that happened to him that made him be what he is now. ;D**

**Hope you guys have a nice day. Thanks for reading and please review. Bye!**


	41. Con XXIX: Choking

**Hey guys, it's been some time. I've been busy with trying to finish some fanfiction stuff that I need to update this fanfiction. **

**School has been great and stressful but I like it in general. And thanks for waiting and I hope all of you guys have a wonderful day!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXIX<strong>_

_**Choking**_

* * *

><p>Jake shouldn't have burdened anyone with what he knows about… he shouldn't have hid information to Dirk…<p>

Jake trusts Dirk and how can Dirk trust a scoundrel like him when he's hiding…_secrets_.

Jake never wants to be the scoundrel that hid secrets from him and killed… Jade…

That is why he must be truthful! Jake has to be truthful and honest! He will be better than him!

"Jake, you're bending the fork again…" Oh, Dirk is talking. Jake blinks and concentrates on Dirk. He should. Dirk is trustworthy and helping him. "…Look Jake, I'm curious about what happened to you but if you don't have to tell me."

Jake stares and blinks at Dirk. But Jake can't tell him –not yet, just not yet.

"Dude, English, are you seriously not going to tell us what the fuck you were saying on that day?" Dave questions. "Look, I know there's some shit you don't want to reveal but–"

"I do want to reveal!" Jake hisses out. "I _do_! It's just–"

_Crash!_

"Makara!"

That no-good _fucker_! How dare he crash into Jadey-John! Of course Jake can't tell just yet –she isn't here with him! Jake can't hide anything from her! Especially not her! Jake will–

Dirk grabs his arm and pulls Jake back to sit down. But why– "_Jake_, don't. Captor is helping."

"Makara! Thtop thtarting fight-th! That'th it! Give me your lunch. Maddox, Connor, get thith guy out of here."

…Captor is nice… He's very helpful… But he looks troubled. He keeps rubbing the area where Jake pointed where he would shoot Ampora…

It's rather strange that Captor wanted to know. But then again, Jake was keeping his promise with Johnny-Jade. He wasn't going to kill anyone just like he promised. And really, that area is to only make the target unconscious and nothing more. Any skilled shooter would know that…

But Jake is going to smile, bright and very welcoming, to his precious Jadey-John that's coming here. And Captor is doing a very gentleman-like action as he guides John towards them…

Jake smiles wider as Jadey-John sits down with him and Dirk and Dave. John looks surprised that Jake is here. Then again, Jake hasn't revealed that some scoundrel therapist thought that he could control Jake by confining him in a horrible white room and "talk" to him… But Jake fooled that rat…

"Hello John… Sorry I wasn't here for a while… I had to paint red in a white canvas room for a while…" Jake greets and answers. "I was punished for shooting so many people… But I punished a scoundrel back…" Jake giggles. "…John, would you like to hear a story…?"

John blinks and looks terribly confused. Perhaps Jake shouldn't have pressured her…

"Um, actually Eridan told me some things about you." John says. Ampora? "A-And he's a good guy, I promise! He said that he want to talk to me before I got here –and we only talked too!"

"Babe, you shouldn't trust Ampora much." Dave informs firmly. "He got this one fatass limbless and half mute the time he got him."

"Thut it Thtrider, Egbert can hang out with anyone he want-th." Captor responds. Huh, he is acting quite defensively…

"Um, so yeah, Eridan and I talked a little –and Captor was there, so don't worry." John comforts Dave… As long as Jadey-John is happy… "And he told me that Jake was a secret soldier and that there was a bomb and you… wanted to forget the life you had…"

Jake giggles, "I see… So he knows about the deceased me…" Jake sighs and frowns. "But I didn't want to forget –I want to kill it."

"Jake, are you sure?"

Jake nods. "Yes… I'll tell you now, Dirk… John… I'll tell you my story…"

Jake stares a little at each person around him. Four people around him… they're waiting… Jake looks down at his hands, his worthless hands… He sighs and looks up.

"…I was a soldier… at least that was what the letter said…" Jake says. "I woke up and found a letter given to me… I opened it and read it and it gave me an explanation… I took these pills that have the word, Lethe, in it. I did this all because of Jade…"

"Jade…?" Dirk speaks out.

Jake hums and nods. "Yes, Jade…"

Jake looks at his bent fork and spins it. "I am an uncle to her biologically but I was truly her grandparent… it felt right…" Jake stops his spinning and twirls the fork. "My… brother was one I would never call family… Born from a different mother, he has always brought up about the scoundrel that's supposed to be this… _father_… Jade was so scared when he tried to do the same thing like–…"

Like who…?

Jake can't remember….

"Never mind, that isn't important. But I made sure that _man_ didn't get anywhere near Jade…" Jake speaks. Even though he forgot that man with the pills, the bastard scoundrel wants sweet and innocent Jade for selfish reasons… "Jade was my reason to kill myself and be reborn… I felt a connection, a bond, to her… But I didn't want to remember my past life…"

"Really? What the fuck happened?" Dave asks rather rudely.

Jake simply narrows his eyes at him. "I don't remember. Those Lethe pills did a good number on this noggin of mine. But whatever happened to me was fucked up enough that I didn't want to damage her…"

Jake then looks at Johnny-Jade and sees… "…John, you're not eating…"

John does not immediately eat though. It looks like he is getting anxious and nervous and afraid…

"Um," John speaks out. "I got this from Makara so…"

Jake blinks and looks at John. What's wrong with it? Makara can't poison it. He doesn't have the connections like Dirk does.

"But I can't let you starve, John…" Jake speaks. "Here, I'll take a taste."

Jake quickly takes a scoop out of John's lunch and gulps it down. It tastes bland but it does in many days. Jake takes the bended fork out of his mouth and spins it around.

"So all I can seem to "remember" about my past life is from the letter… It informed me about Jade and that I was already dead to many…" Jake continues. "Never really told me how but–…"

Jake coughs and tries to clear his throat. Huh, that's strange…

"N-Never told me…" _Cough!_ "W… Why but–" _Cough! Cough!_

Jake keeps coughing. But that can't be right. He swallowed. There's no food blocking.

_Cough! Cough!_

It can't be. He's choking? W-Why is he–

_Cough! Cough! COUGH!_

"Jake? Are you okay?"

_Cough!_

Can't… Can't breathe…!

_Cough! Cough!_

_Makara_…!

_Cough! Ack! Cough! _

P-Poison…! It's poison! Can't… Can't breathe! He can't breathe!

"Jake!"

D…Dirk…

C-Can't…

D… Diz…zy…

C…

"JAKE!"

* * *

><p><strong>And I'm mean… <strong>

**Yeah... I'm so sorry. Jake is a great character and don't worry, he'll be fine… **

**However, I want to finish "An Undesired Confinement" before updating this fanfiction… But don't worry, Jake is going to be fine… **

**And thanks for reading and please review. Hope you have a nice day! Bye! **


	42. Con XXX: Peanut Allergy

**Well, my finals are finally over and I got this chapter done for you guys as you motivate me. Thank you guys for waiting.**

**I will try to update as much as I can but I can't promise that I might update a lot… I hope you guys will be okay with this. **

**But here is the chapter!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXX<strong>_

_**Peanut Allergy**_

* * *

><p>"Jake!"<p>

John could only stare as Jake stops clawing his swelling rash throat and falls off of his seat and slams into the floor.

"JAKE!"

"Thtrider? What the fuck –hey! Nobody move!"

John knows this. John has seen this. John has experienced it.

Jake is showing the symptoms of swelling, difficulty breathing, and rashes –he is having an anaphylactic shock. Shit, this is bad…

"Jake! Come on! Wake up! JAKE!"

Shit, shit, shit! John has to. He has to do it! He can't let another die when he's around!

John moves fast. He gets out of his seat. He pushes Dirk away. He gets his epipen from his left shoe. And he stabs Jake with it. He pushes the button and –Ack!

Oh god, Dirk is glaring down at him. One fist grabbing his collar. The other, ready to hit him…

"You fucker! Was die Hölle do you think you're doing! I don't care that Dave wants to fuck you, I won't fucking forgive you for–"

"Thtrider! Get off of him!"

John blinks and Dirk is off of him. Whoa, John really believes that Dirk was going to beat him up. Or worse, a-actually kill him…

_Hack! Wheeze!_

John turns his head and sees that fortunately Jake is starting to breathe…

But it doesn't look like Jake is recovering fast or getting enough air in him. _Fuck!_ John forgot to get another epipen!

_Hack! Cough! Cough! Hack! Ack!_

Shit! John needs to calm down! He has to–! But he needs to–! Fuck, he–!

"Whoa John, calm down!" Dave…! "What's going on? What do I need to do?"

John blinks but a second later, he takes a big breath in… and out…

John looks straight at Dave and he knows what to do. "I need a ballpoint pen and a knife." John looks at Dirk. "You need to go to the infirmary and get an epipen from the nurse, _now_!"

Dirk looks confused. "Wha–"

"I said _now_! Jake's life is on the line!"

Dirk immediately moves and runs. John looks down and even though he used the epipen, Jake isn't recovering effectively. He still has the anaphylactic shock symptoms –_Fuck_!

Jake immediately panics and puts his hands on top of Jake's body, the diaphragm to be specific. John even remembers Staying Alive from the Bee Gees.

_Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk_

_I'm a woman's man, no time to talk_

_Music loud and women warm_

_I've been kicked around since I was born_

_And now it's all right, it's okay_

_And you may look the other way_

_We can try to understand _

_The New York Times' effect on man_

And before John knows it, he is compressing air for Jake while humming Staying Alive.

Damn it! Where's Dirk with the epipen!

_Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother_

_You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive_

_Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'_

_And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive_

_Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive _

_Ah, ha, ha, ha, _

–Fucking hell!

He can't be doing this for long! Where's Dave with–

"Mr. Crocker, I got a knife from some idiot. W-What do you need it for?" Eridan!

"Liebling, I got a pen from some jack– the fuck is Ampora doing here?"

But John doesn't answer. He takes the ballpoint pen and the switchblade knife. He needs them to safely open Jake's throat.

_Hack! Hack! _

Okay, John has read this. He can do this.

_Hack…!_

John tries to ignore everyone staring as he gets ready to help Jake. He can do a cricothyrotomy.

John unscrews the pen, getting everything out until there's only a barrel. Okay, this step…

He puts the pen barrel down the floor near him and looks for the thyroid cartilage with the hand that doesn't have the knife. Then the cricothyroid membrane…

Okay, John slowly cuts… He can sort o hear a lot of people gasping but John has to concentrate.

He opens the incision, making a decent hole… And John gets the pen barrel and…

He puts it into the hole and hear some horrified and retching noises from the unneeded audience.

Okay, it's not exactly settling but this is an emergency!

_Hack…! Hah…! Hah! Hah! Hah…! Hah…_

Oh thank god… Jake is able to breathe…

But where is Dirk with the epipen? The anaphylactic shock symptoms could come back…

"John! I got both the –Was die Fucking Hell haben Sie!"

But the nurse seems to be impressed. "Wait a minute, Strider! He's okay! He's breathing…! That looks like… a cricothyrotomy! Huh, it's been long since I last saw one… Guards! Hurry up and get English in the infirmary! Oh, but first…!"

The nurse gets near Jake and gives him his second epipen shot.

Thank god…

"Now hurry up! Now! Get English to the infirmary! I need to do a tracheotomy! And careful! Be careful!"

Thankfully, the guards are helping English and luckily they know how to carry English.

But man… English could have died from either an anaphylactic shock if John wasn't carrying an epipen or from a bad attempt of a cricothyrotomy if John had fucked up.

John sighs and watches as the guards carrying English while the nurse and Dirk are following them. He'll leave them alone and just not eat…

John takes a glance at his… lunch… He got this from Makara… Makara knows that John is allergic to peanuts…

He doesn't feel hungry at all…

"Hey, are you okay? Lookth like I need to talk to Makara but thit, you don't lookth tho great…"

"That's because he's fuckin' in shock that asshole Makara w-was tryin' to fuckin' kill him, _Captor_. And English–"

"Fuck off, Ampora. Come on, Egbert. Let'th get you to the break room."

John lets himself get pulled up and gently pushed to get out of the cafeteria and walk to the break room. John blinks and sighs as he sits down the couch and tries to relax. To think that asshole Makara would try to–…

_Fuck_…

John jumps as he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. He turns his head and sees Dave. John immediately relaxes.

"Dave…"

Dave smiles and gives a quick side-hug.

"Don't worry, mein Hasi, he's going to be okay. English is tough." Dave coos as he rubs John's shoulder.

But John doesn't really feel better…

"John…? You okay…? They'll get rid of the poison, don't worry."

"…That wasn't poison." John chokes out. "There was… peanuts in that lunch. I-I'm allergic to those and Makara…"

"Makara…? Wait, then when he crashed into you… That son of a bitch! I'll–"

John couldn't help but grab on Dave's arm the second after Dave stands up. He really doesn't want to be alone now…

John doesn't look up to see what face Dave is making. And he knows Dave wants to leave and beat Gamzee up but…

"…Hey… Shit… Sorry, you need some comfort and I was being an ass…"

John breathes out a shuddering sigh as Dave sit back down with him. He doesn't know what he's feeling. He's definitely not feeling great…

"Hey… You want to ironically cuddle?"

John doesn't say anything but leans on Dave. Luckily, Dave understands.

He puts his arm around John and has his other hand softly petting John's head. He has his head on John's shoulder and breathes slowly in and out… He moves his head a little and kisses gently around John's neck and shoulder…

John tries not to giggle as Dave kisses a part where it's ticklish. He bites his bottom lip and moves his shoulder away and up, trying to go slow as he doesn't want to hit Dave. But John sees Dave is smiling.

Dave has both his arms around John and pulls John closer to him. John tries not to snort and giggle too much as Dave is kissing him more friskily. He's kissing around the ticklish spot, making John let too much giggles and snorts as he does. John playfully shoves Dave away but doesn't try much. John keeps giggling as Dave keeps kissing him more up and up in John's body.

From his shoulder…to his neck…to his jawline…to his cheek… and to the corner of his lips…

John can't help but then laugh out loud, putting his head back. He tries not to move as he feels the tickling kisses Dave is giving at his neck, especially at his Adam's apple.

"D-Dave…!" John giggles out.

Dave just chuckles, ceasing his kisses for John to move his head down and finally kisses him on the lips.

John tries not to giggle so much, feeling Dave's lips on John's teeth.

John and Dave give a few quick kisses before they finally give each other a slow kiss…

John hears the wet smack as their lips part. He gives a warm smile and gives a quick squeeze at the cuddling hug they're in.

"Thanks, Dave…"

Dave kisses John's forehead. "No problem, Schatzi… What you did was ironically cool. How did you learn that?"

John gives out a small smile. "I was, um… I actually learned it from a book."

"Really?" Dave leans more on John. "That's ironic. Must be interesting to have in class."

John giggles. "Actually, I'm homeschooled, Dave."

"Wirklich? Huh, what do you know, Dirk and I are homeschooled too."

John smiles bigger and snorts. "Then that makes you a bigger dork, Dave."

Dave scoffs and chuckles. "Hey, I'm not a dork, John. I'm ironically cool."

"That just means you're a dork still, Dave."

Dave chuckles and ruffles his hair. "Yeah right, you're the dork in this relationship. I'm the cool guy."

John snickers and ruffles Dave's hair. "Wanting to chug a bottle of root beer doesn't make you cool, you dork."

"It might." Dave pouts out.

John smiles even bigger and hugs Dave more. "That doesn't mean I don't like it. Who knows, I might like dorks. Especially when they're great at cuddling."

Dave chuckles and hugs John back. He then gives a kiss at John's temple.

John moves his head and kisses Dave's cheek. John lets out a giggle or two before Dave pouts and finally kisses John on the lips again.

John breathes in and out through his nose as he gets more into the kiss. He feels better and also feel the hand that was rubbing his shoulder is now on the back of John's head, pushing gently and massaging his scalp. Dave stinks a little and John can taste a bit of bland mashed potatoes that Dave must have ate. But this kiss is nice.

John pouts a little when Dave ends the kiss but it's nice that Dave is cuddling with him. Yup, John definitely feels better…

"Hey, if you're feeling better, hurry up and get out. I got you an epipen before you ask." Oh shit! How did the nurse– "Also, be careful with your PDA. Guards don't like prisoners finding that type of comfort with anyone. And before you ask, I don't give a flip about this. Now go."

John keeps his hot head down as he untangles from the hug, gets off the couch, and stands up. He puts his hand on his warm neck and just moves it side to side. He wants to apologize but wow, it's embarrassing!

"Uh yeah… we'll just… go…" John croaks out. He keeps his head down and takes shaky steps to get the epipen from the nurse.

He leaves the room with Dave who is also blushing.

Yeah, John may feel better but he's way too damn embarrassed to do anything with Dave…

Dave does another quick side-hug as they kept walking. "He's going to be okay…"

John just nods. He feels way too self-conscious after what happened…

But…

John hugs back and gives a really quick kiss to Dave's cheek.

"Thanks again, Dave…" John mumbles out.

John tries not to giggle too much as he sees a glance of Dave trying to hide his face that's blushing even more than ever…

Yup, he's definitely feeling better now…

* * *

><p><strong>And yeah that's it. <strong>

**I searched up some medical research to make this chapter more realistic when John was saving Jake. **

**The Staying Alive song was used in a study to train doctors to provide the correct number of chest compressions per minute while doing CPR. Some research express that some people need to have two epipen shots to stop their anaphylaxis, a severe allergic reaction that causes rashes, swelling throats, and sometimes death. This can happen with some people that have peanut allergies.**

**And for those who don't know what cricothyrotomy or tracheotomy, both are surgical procedures that help open a direct airway through an incision in the trachea, AKA the windpipe, so it allows a person to breathe without their nose or mouth. Both help for a person who has an anaphylaxis. I was motivated by the cricothyrotomy scene in the 2007 film, Nancy Drew. **

**But I should tell you guys, don't do a cricothyrotomy and let professionals do tracheotomy as these procedures can harm or kill a person if not done correctly. While cricothyrotomy may be life-saving in some situations, it must be an extreme situation and must be known that it's only a temporary measure. So be careful, okay. **

**But really, thanks for reading and waiting you guys. I'll try my best. :) **


	43. Con XXXI: Language

**Well, here I am again.**

**Good news, Jake is okay. Bad news, Jake can't speak. **

**I don't really know what exactly happens after someone has a tracheotomy. I tried to do some research. All I got is that a person can't eat food normally and that it takes time for the person to speak. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXXI<strong>_

_**Language**_

* * *

><p>"Strider, English, time to get up."<p>

Dirk grumbles out a German curse and stretches.

But he blinks and sees Jake is already on the ground and on his feet. Dirk's eyes are immediately on Jake's neck.

Jake doesn't have a neck brace but a bunch of that white bandage cloth around his neck. From what the nurse said, Jake's fine but he can't… speak…

"…Jake."

Jake turns around and smiles. But the smile is way too sullen…

Jake stops smiling and leaves the cell. Dirk follows. He has to keep a good ironic sniper eye on Jake. He doesn't want anything like what happened two days ago to Jake. And Jake is away from the ironic safe infirmary…

"D… D…"

"Jake, the nurse told you to save your voice. Come on, let's get some breakfast."

"D… Drr…"

Dirk puts his hand on Jake's shoulder, thankfully silencing him. Dirk isn't going to let Jake harm himself like this…

Dirk has seen too much on that day. Jake was choking and Dirk couldn't do anything to help him. He panicked. He wanted to punch and hurt John because he thought John was harming him. But then Dirk had seen Jake has a hole on his throat…

Yesterday, all Dirk could do was simply sit on an uncomfortable chair as he waits for Jake to wake up. Jake was breathing and… sleeping…

Of course, the hole in Jake's throat and all that technology in and around the hole has caused some… ordeal in Dirk…

Dirk is definitely going to get some paper and pen for today. Even if Jake can't speak because of… _that_, it doesn't mean Jake forgot how to write.

"D… Drrrk…"

Dirk puts his hand on Jake's shoulder again. He doesn't care if anyone or everyone in the cafeteria is looking at them. Jake can never be like that again…!

"Jake, Bitte," Dirk says. "I promise I will get you some paper and pen after breakfast. We can draw some pictures if you want."

But Jake doesn't look happy or satisfied. Instead, he's… moving around. But Dirk doesn't know what Jake is expressing…

Is he uncomfortable? Frustrated? What?

Shit, Dirk needs to get that pen and papers quick.

…After Dirk taste-tests Jake's food of course…

* * *

><p><em>Thanks you again for taking care of me dirk.<em>

Dirk hums and gives a little smile. "No problem, Jake."

But then Jake writes something and immediately covers it up. But Dirk saw what was on it.

_But dirk_

"…Jake, what's wrong?" Dirk asks. "I won't get mad, Ich verspreche –I mean, I promise."

Jake stares with widened eyes. Dirk can see Jake swallow a bit of saliva. He tries not to flinch as Dirk can see Jake's atom apple moving up and down. Luckily the saliva didn't get out of Jake and wet the bandages…

Then Jake sighs and stops covering the two words he wrote. But instead of writing more words, Jake moves his arms and hands around. He's even looking flustered for some reason. But Dirk doesn't understand.

Jake blinks and then sighs again, looking… sadder…

He writes more.

_But dirk this means im more indebted to you._

Jake writes more below.

_How can i help you when youre so caring?_

Dirk blinks at this after he read both sentences. He doesn't really feel flattered. He takes a look up at Jake.

Jake doesn't look happy at all…

"Jake, we're friends. I care because we're friends." Dirk says. He really doesn't want Jake to feel bad.

Jake writes on the paper.

_I appreciate what youre doing but how can i ever repay you?_

Dirk looks at Jake. "Jake… I… You don't have to repay me–"

Jake interrupts by hitting his fist on the table. He moves his arms and hands around again. And he looks a bit… frustrated…?

"Jake…?"

Jake stops moving his arms and hands. He slowly pouts his head down and sighs dejectedly. He gets the pen and–

"Um Dirk, is it okay if Jake does something? He feels really guilty about what happened."

Dirk turns his head and back to see that John is behind him. Dave's here too –but that's not the point! Somehow John understands Jake even though Jake isn't speaking!

"Wie? How can you understand what Jake is trying to say?"

"Clearly because Mr. Crocker know-ws sign language, Strider." Oh great, Ampora is here too. At least Captor is here to get annoyed too. "I'm surprised you don't know-w any w-when you w-were doin' your job."

"And you?"

Ampora shrugs his shoulders. "It's a w-way to send info."

Before Dirk can retort or say anything, Jake growls and moves his arms and hands ferociously.

John gasps. "Jake! Don't insult Eridan like that! He helped saving you!"

"Whoa, what did he say, John?" Dave eagerly asks.

"Um, he said he's a hope-destroying fish face…"

Captor snorts. Ampora crosses his arms and pouts. Dave is snickering. And Jake looks satisfied.

Then Ampora moves one arm up and rapidly moves his fingers. John spits and snorts before he is giggling out loud. Jake looks… shocked…?

"W… Wanker…!" John chokes out.

Ampora smirks and looks way too damn proud. Jake then makes a sour face and crosses his arms. Dirk narrows his eyes at Ampora. Jake almost fucking died, damn it! If Ampora wasn't so damn important to their escape then Dirk would gladly sucker-punch the fish-face fucker.

"Why are you here?" Dirk growls out to Ampora. "Unless you want me to tell Jake."

Ampora blinks twice before he frowns deeply at Dirk. "I w-was goin' to talk to Mr. Crocker about somethin' that's none of your fuckin' business. And just so you know-w Strider, Mr. Crocker and I are friends."

Jake gives off a throaty scoff and snort at that. But Dirk doesn't hear John denying it…

"John…?"

"Sorry Dave, I know you don't like Eridan but yeah… He and I are friends."

Dave immediately pouts.

Of course it doesn't help that Ampora has an annoying ass smirk on his stupid face. Dirk really wants to get Jake pissed at him but he won't. Even if he's somehow a friend, he's a friend to John. And John has the money and Dave's ironic fragile heart…

But Dirk didn't say anything as Jake growls and slams his fist on the table. Jake then quickly… signs. It looks like Jake is ready to hurt Ampora without Dirk saying anything…

"Jake! Jake! Wait!" Than John signs something.

Dirk now wonders if this is what it's like to speak German around the ones who don't know what the fuck he is saying… Maybe he should teach German to Jake…

Dirk feels both shitty and guilty now for speaking German around Jake…

Then something happens. At first, Dirk didn't notice it but then Jake does it. He smiles sane and… innocuously…

Something John signed made Jake smile like that…

But what?

Unfortunately, Dirk doesn't get an answer. Instead, he watches Jake enthusiastically sign away… to Ampora…

Scheiße, what the fucking fuck did John say?

Ampora… blushes?! And then he signs something back.

Then John signs something.

Then Jake signs something.

Then Ampora chuckles and signs something.

And now, Dirk is completely lost on what the fuck is happening. All three of them are just… signing away…

Dirk wants to know but… Jake looks like he's having a lot of fun…

Dirk looks around and sees he isn't the only one who is left out… Dirk could do a meeting with Ampora around. Jake doesn't know they're using Ampora for their escape.

Perhaps with this event, Dirk can get Jake be okay with Ampora helping them.

Dirk gets back from reality as he hears a breathy laugh. Warten, Jake is laughing?! And not only that, is Ampora covering a smile with his fist?

…Die fuck ist gerade passiert?!

"Um, guys," Dave speaks out. "What are you talking about?"

Immediately the three stop signing. But Ampora is smirking.

"W-Well Strider, Mr. Crocker is quite the comedian. I'm surprised you didn't know-w that."

Dave immediately frowns, is ready to stand up and–

"Whoa –whoa –whoa, Dave!" John immediately stands up and goes in front of Dave. Dirk quietly lets out a sigh in relief. "Hey… How about we do something together? L-Like, um, a date?"

Of course and luckily, that immediately calms Dave down.

Dave slouches back a little and tries to smirk. But really, dude is smiling and is way too ironically excited about his date.

"…I will end you if you think you can try to get my cutie." Dave says in German. Of course, Dave says it in a cheerful tone and is definitely talking to Ampora.

"Uh, Dave, what does that mean?"

Dave gives off an "innocent" smile. "I'm really excited, that's all."

Well, at least Dirk and Dave have their language, German. But Dirk should teach Jake some German. He should be more honest with Jake.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, Mr. Crocker. I'vve got the items you w-wanted." Ampora says as gets a bag out of his uniform and hands it over to John.

"Thanks! And the shaving cream?"

"The other bag is in your cell and ready to use. I'll get some people to distract the cops."

"That's great! Dave and I will do it after the movie. Oh! It's starting now."

Dirk says nothing and doesn't really move as John moves and sits on the couch. Dave sits next to John and puts his arm around him. Ampora actually sits next to John, far away from Dave. And Captor, being way too obvious, is standing near where Ampora is sitting.

But Jake doesn't move…

Dirk blinks and raises an eyebrow at Jake. Why isn't Jake moving? Jake likes all the movies and watching movies. But here he is, drawing and not watching the movie…

"Jake…" Dirk says, Jake immediately have his head up and his attention on Dirk. "Don't you want to watch the movie?"

Jake blinks and smiles… sweetly to Dirk. Jake then writes something down. He immediately pushes the paper to the edge of the table where Dirk is sitting.

Dirk picks it up, reads it, and blushes.

_Because i want to be here with you._

And then Jake gives another paper to Dirk. He circled something…

And Dirk blinks harder.

_You are more valuable than any movies and anything else in the world._

Dirk keeps his extremely warm head down and gets a paper to draw in order to try to ignore a stupid organ that is beating way too loud…

Dirk seriously needs to teach German to Jake…

And himself on the language on being in deep shit in love with Jake…

* * *

><p><strong>Well, Jake can't speak for a while. And Dirk really, really likes him. <strong>

**And I made sure that what Jake wrote was similar to his pesterlogs. Hopefully it's okay and there's no errors. **

**The next chapter is going to be in Dave's perspective and both Dave and John will go on their date. Revenge is going to be… awesome. **


	44. Con XXXII: Curiosity

**Hey guys, I hope everyone had a nice holiday. I actually enjoyed mine as I got some money from my grandma, some books from my mom, and a chair that I wanted from my dad. **

**And here in this chapter, Dave and John are finally going on a date. Yay! :D**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXXII<strong>_

_**Curiosity**_

* * *

><p>Dave gives a final kiss to John before they begin their date… with two bags, one having cans of shaving cream…<p>

"So, ready to do this, babe?" Dave asks.

John just giggles and gives a squeeze to their hug before he gets the bag of shaving cream cans.

"Come on, Eridan says they can keep Makara at least an hour."

Dave smirks as he looks at John's ass. Yup, peaches would figuratively envy that ass. Peaches would praise that ass like holiness and pureness it is.

Dave gets the other bag. It feels like it's full of tools. Huh, Ampora definitely has his connections.

Dave stands a little, taking another good look at John's back pillows –of course, Dave means his glorious booty butt. He then follows his cutie boyfriend to their ironic "journey" to the ICP jackass wannabe's cell.

"_So_, what movies do you like?" Dave asks out after they took a few steps away from their cell.

John turns his head and blinks in surprise at Dave. Luckily, he doesn't trip and continues to walk. He raises an eyebrow at Dave.

Dave just shrugs his shoulders. "What? I want to know more about you. We're on a date and that's how dates are sometimes ironically about."

John then smiles and gives a snort. "Fine, we can do twenty questions, Dave. I really like… action movies I guess. And anything with Nic Cage is nice too. What about you?"

Dave snorts. "Nic Cage, really? That is horrible –but ironically dorky and cute, I guess." Dave chuckles as John playfully elbows him. "I guess I like anything ironic –especially chick flicks."

John snickers as he goes downstairs, "Are you sure you know what irony is, Dave? And chick flicks?"

Dave chuckles and ruffles John's hair, taking the ironic advantage of being a step behind. "Hey, chick flicks are ironic. And it's my turn. So what are we doing to the ICP asshole?"

John smacks Dave's hand away, trying to hide a giggling smile. "A revenge prank, you'll see. Favorite animal?"

"Crows. Pretty badass, smart, and ironic. You?"

John hums. "Don't really have one. Salamanders, maybe. Um, favorite food other than apple juice?"

"Apple pie. But if you're talking about something not with apples, red velvet cake."

John stops walking and Dave stops too. Well, they're here –at the end of the stair and near Makara's cell. And of course, Makara's cell smells like burnt up weed and sticky soda stains… John makes a face and a noise of disgust. But he enters in first.

"Come on, we need to find his Faygo stash. He always drink that brand." John says as he puts on the walls. "He always put his secret stash in a wall…"

Dave can't help but stare and blink. Wait, how does John know that? Dave doesn't know that –and he had the clown psycho fucker as a cellmate.

"…How do you know Makara, John?"

John pauses and tenses. But then he sighs. "We… We were acquaintances. I was –am a friend of his friend –well, ex-friend now. He did something unforgivable and I helped him get into jail…"

Dave looks at John. He remembers something about some rich guy had sent Makara here. But he didn't think he was dating the one who got the guy in this shithole in the first place.

But then again, it makes sense. Makara is pissed off that John gave him the guilty verdict. Dave stops standing around and looks under the bunk beds.

"So, how do you know him?"

Dave can't help but immediately make a sour face. Luckily, his usually handsome face is away from John and all John could see would be the back of his head.

"Ex-cellmate. He was an annoying piece of shit. So what's your favorite dessert?"

John scoffs and later chuckles. "Really? Doing twenty questions, still? Okay, um, something not really sweet –I don't have a sweet tooth really. Maybe dark chocolate. What about you?"

Dave sniffs. _Ugh_, he smells an overdose of sugary fruit salad mixed with root beer…

"I guess," Dave answers as he pats on the mattresses. "Some good baked goods is always nice to indulge. Like apple pie and red velvet cake. Do you know how to bake by any chance?"

John groans but it doesn't sound like he's in a bad mood.

"Unfortunately, yes. My Dad and my sister would always get me to help them bake. I swear, I know how to bake a croissant and a muffin than know how to fry eggs."

"Hey, getting hungry here. Don't tease me, babe."

John laughs. "Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to do that. How about your least favorite food?"

Dave hums as he not pats the wall between the bunk beds. "Black licorice… It's definitely not candy. You?"

"Ah! Found it! Hey Dave, can you help me?"

Dave gets away from the bunk beds, turns his head to the right to see John is right next to him. "Sure, babe. You know you didn't answer my question and that question you did counts."

John just rolls his eyes. "Okay, okay, it's cake. Any cake. My Dad kept feeding me cake and I can't forget the horrible aftertaste that it gave me. Now help me get this thing off!"

Dave chuckles and helps his cutie boyfriend with removing –Holy fuck! It's heavy! Dave immediately has one foot on the wall and pulls…!

And he fucking pulls!

And pulls!

Finally, they got a piece of wall out… and well, there's a fuck ton of Faygo…

"Okay, let's start using the shaving creams." John gets out a mysterious-looking machine out of the bag that Dave's carrying and puts it in the hole… then he gets a couple of cans of shaving cream from his bag, shakes them, and shoots shaving cream into the hole. "So, let's continue the questioning. It might be a while."

"Oh! Yeah…" Dave gets two cans of shaving cream and shakes them. "Uh… How many languages do you know?"

"Just three," John answers with a shrug. He ducks his head and moves a bit to the side as Dave starts shooting shaving cream into the hole as well. "One of my friends is deaf –so I learned it. And another is half Puerto Rican and I wanted to know some jokes she would sometimes say. That's how I know Spanish and American Sign. You?"

"Two or three, depending on the person I'm talking to. German and English for some. And German, English, and "American" to the idiots."

John snorts and laughs at that. He puts the two empty cans down on the ground and gets two new ones from the bag… He stops giggling around that time.

"How," Dave begins to ask as he follows what John did. "Did you get these?"

"Eridan did. Turns out, a lot of guards like shaving. How do you know Eridan?"

Dave can't help but frown. "Dirk and I used to work for him. He was… a prick. How come you're friends with him? You're, like, this cutie angel while he's the arch demon of being pain in the ass."

"Hey, he's not bad. He's actually nice –he has a different way of showing it. I mean, don't you have friends sort of like that at times?"

Dave stops spraying and moving. "I guess… Most of them are… complicated." Dave starts spraying the shaving cream into the hole again. "So what was your life like? You know, before you got here."

John and Dave both put their empty cans down and get new ones. Dave gets a glance at John's face. He looks like he's thinking and remembering something… Both shake their cans and then spray shaving cream into the hole once again…

"…I guess you could say I was… rich and lonely… My Dad kept me in my home and I didn't like staying so I would sneak out a lot…" John answers slowly. He turns his head and looks at Dave. "What about you? There's definitely more than just being this "badass assassin" that you have."

Dave hums. "Don't know… I watched movies, made a crappy webcomic, complained but ironically enjoyed being in conventions… And I guess making music with some annoying assholes that I know is a good way to pass time… Hey John, that's all we got. Now what?"

John snorts. "That counts as a question, Dave~." John sings out and giggles.

Dave chuckles and rolls his eyes. "Fine, but what now? We're out. What's next of this revenge prank date?"

John turns around and gives a cheeky-looking smile. "Now, I use the other bag. May you please hand me the other bag, Dave? It's your turn now."

Dave chuckles again. He gives the bag to his sassy cute cutie. He takes a step back and watches John puts something on the edge of the hole. He gets more things from the bag, tools it looks like…

"So, you good with tech?" Dave asks out as John screws something with a screwdriver.

"Not really, just know a few just for the sake of my prankster's gambit –that's all." John puts the screwdriver back in the bag. "Okay, it's ready. Help me puts this back?"

Dave gives off a snort. "You need to do better questions, babe. But okay."

Dave grabs the bottom of the wall thing and lifts… it… _up_…

Dave puffs out and pushes.

There… that was definitely easier than pulling…

"Okay, let's go!"

Both Dave and John quickly pack everything up. All the empty cans of shaving cream are in the bag. All the tools are in the other. Dave takes a look around as they both leave the cell, go upstairs, and back to theirs…

Both dropped their bags on the floor with Dave just stands around with his arms crossed. And John puts his bag down and… looks around in it.

"So…" Dave says out loud as John searches for something in the tool bag. "What now? Specifically?"

John gets a container out and snickers. "Now, we go back. But this time, we stay upstairs. Want to see something cool, Dave?"

Dave smirks and nods. "Sure, lead the way, darling."

John blushes at this. But Dave also sees John putting the medicine container in one of his boots as they leave their cell. Dave keeps his mouth shut as he follows him coolly.

This time, they are near Makara's cell and on the upper floor.

John is bouncing on the balls of his feet and biting his bottom lip, trying to contain his smile.

"So, what's up with the bottle? It looks like the insulin they have in hospitals." Dave can't help but ask. He can't contain his curiosity for long.

John hums, biting more of his bottom lip. And then he releases a nice plump bottom lip and smiles at Dave. "It's for another prank I'm preparing to do. Oh!" John quickly turns his head back to look down. "Look, look! He's coming! You ready?"

Dave smiles as he walks to the steel bars, next to his boyfriend. He rests his elbow on the cold bar and lets his head lean on his hand while his other arm is just resting on the bar. He lets himself smile a bit bigger as he looks at John. The adorable dork has his hands gripping on the bar, his body leaning forward, and his face showing full excitement and anticipation. He's like an ironic kid in a theme park…

So niedlich…

"Ooooh~! There he is! He's going near… He's near the cell… He's getting in… Guards are leaving… And…"

And what? Dave stops ironically ogling his cute hottie and looks carefully at Makara's cell… There's nothing going–

_BOOM!_

…Heilige Scheiße auf einem Stick! That was some bubbly, foamy, sugary-fruity smelling explosion!

There is literally almost every color on the growing bubbly foam that's coming out of the cell… Guards are yelling and going into the multi-colored foam…

This is the coolest and funniest shit Dave has seen in this shithole. Awesome…

John laughs. "That's what you get for being a damn asshole murderer, Gamzee…" He then stops leaning forward and smiles at Dave. "Well, we each have five questions left. You better make good ones, Dave."

…Really, five questions…?

Huh, Dave thought it would be longer but he can't say he wasn't having any fun. Dave looks up at the ceiling and hums. He really wants to know more about John…

"What… What made you like me?" Dave asks carefully. "Sure, I'm hot and shit –but, uh, your reason is…?"

John lets out a little giggle. "I think it's when I realize that you're a dork… I thought you were, you know…"

"This scary cellmate," Dave says, shrugging his shoulders. It's all in the past, of course. Doesn't bother him that much… "Don't worry, it's not your fault. And what do you mean by finding out I was a dork?"

John sniggers. "Ah, ah, my turn. I just… I want to know what you see me that… isn't the same like other people… What do you see in me that's different from people that you met?"

Dave turns his head and blinks at John. It's like that time in the cafeteria… Why is John so… unsure that Dave doesn't like him by just being the sassy cutie that he is…?

"Well," Dave says out. He looks back at the cell and the multi-colored foam. "You're someone who likes my shitty personality and my… looks… And people seem to have a problem with either of them. You saw me in a bad light at first but you're one of the few who like me past those two problems."

"They're not problems."

Dave feels his smile being to grow and his heart soars. It's nice to know that. Texans don't like his looks. Germans seem to dislike his personality. And those who don't care, they generally don't' care about him…

John is definitely different…

But then Dave stops grinning and frowns. He turns his head to stare at John's pretty blue eyes.

"Why do you keep comparing yourself with other people?"

John immediately laughs nervously.

"I-I thought you were going to do the whole dork question… Um," John looks away. One of his hands is on the back of his neck, rubbing it. "Wow, uh…"

Oh shit, oh fucking Scheiße, Dave is making him feel uncomfortable!

"W-Warten! You don't need to answer that, Liebling! Uh, let's go with the other question! Yeah, the dork que–"

"It's okay, Dave…"

Dave blinks twice and looks at John. That smile on him… it looks sad…

John sighs and looks up at the ceiling.

"When I was dating someone… they were hung up that someone they like was dating someone else…" John breathes in and sighs slowly. "I reminded him on who he really likes and when I dated other people, well…"

John moves his head and stares eyes to eye with Dave. "Did you ever have someone just… like you because you reminded them of someone else…?"

Dave feels… appalled… _Fuck_, that's horrible…

"Nein –I mean, no, but I got cheated on…" Dave answers. He knows it's not the same but he wants Dave to feel better… But that guy who dated John…

Dave doesn't cease the scowl that is forming on his face.

"Who's the fucker?" He growls out.

John blinks in surprise at the question but then he chuckles. "Don't worry about it, Dave. I'm a friend with one of my exes, he means well and is a good friend. And I gave the others what they deserve. Come on, let's be cheerful. Do you play any instruments?"

Dave doesn't know what to feel. He still wants to kick someone's ass –especially one who used John… But if John wants this…

"Yeah, the turntables… You?"

"Piano. I like playing jazz and classical…" John says but then just looks down at the scene. Dave can hear Makara yelling and cursing. The cops and Makara look like they're covered in rainbow and brown colored foam… "Do you want to take a nap? I think I got enough excitement…"

Dave doesn't' say anything as he stares wide-eyed as John leaves the scene. Fuck, maybe Dave shouldn't have asked that question… Maybe he can still save this date! He still has one last question left!

"Uh, favorite character!"

…What…

The fuck was that question…

But it seems to lighten John's mood as Dave hears him snort and laugh. Huh, this smile is definitely not sad…

"Really? Favorite character?" John giggles out. "Alright then… I guess I'll choose for now… Calypso…"

"Warten, who's Calypso? And where's she from? Video game? Movie? Book?"

"Ah, ah, ah~," John coos as he wags his finger at Dave with a playful smile. "You're out of questions. And it is _my_ turn."

Dave tries not to smile too much as John boops him in the nose.

Dave is glad though. John isn't sad anymore. Also, Makara is going to get a bigger punishment after this.

"So… uh…"

Dave lets out a smirk as he sees John's cheeks are beginning to blush. Dave teasingly hums and ironically leans towards his blushing boyfriend, waiting for his question.

"Do you, you know, want to do this again? I really, really, really like this… this date…"

Dave takes a look around to see no one is around. Good, because this is a perfect opportunity to sensationally kiss John. He moves his face to the side, making sure their noses don't hit each other. His arms are around John. Damn, Dave loves kissing John. He can feel John sighing and relaxing into the kiss. Dave puts his hand on John's hip and–

John immediately moans and shivers. He gently pushes Dave away and stares at him with a bright red face. Oh~!

"U-U-_Um_!" John stutters out. "That's –that's, uh, sensitive there…"

Dave feels his smirk grow bigger. Oh la la~.

Dave immediately has both of his hands on John's hips and gives a good squeeze~. John is shutting his eyes, biting his lip, and shivering even more. Dave leans in and–

"Everyone! Go back to your cells! Maddox! Get more guards! All prisoners, get back to your cell!"

Dave groans and puts his forehead on John's shoulder. He seriously doesn't want to get cockblocked by a cop…

"Come on, Dave… Looks like we have no choice…" John chuckles out. He then stops chuckling after a few moments where Dave still doesn't move his head nor his hands rom where they are.

Instead, Dave does a surprise by squeezing his hips again. John immediately puts his hand on his mouth, trying not to let out a moan.

Dave chuckles and leans his head to John's blushing ear.

"_Yes_," Dave whispers his answer to John's ear. "Next time, I'll cease my curiosity on how," Dave presses into John's hips more, smirking more as John shivers at this. "To pleasure your body~."

Dave stops pressing and holding John finally and temporarily leaves him as he goes back to their cell. Fortunately, John follows Dave right behind with a still blushing face.

Dave quietly chuckles.

He's definitely keeping his promise, that's for sure.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's the end of the chapter. <strong>

**I really like writing this one as Dave and John hasn't gone on a date yet and Makara is a dick for what he did to Jake and for beating up John and others as well. And this could be my late holiday gift for all of you. **

**With New Year's Eve coming in two days, this will be last update this year. I'll be updating again next year –maybe with a very realistic New Year revolution like reading an actual book. **

**So thanks for reading and see you guys next year. Bye!**


	45. Pro XIII: Vriska

**Well, sorry if I took some time on making this chapter. For some reason, it was difficult to write for me. I don't know why but I tried my best. **

**But hey, I hope you guys like it since Vriska is here!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro XIII: Vriska<strong>_

* * *

><p>"<em>Hal, get me the data of the ship. This time, show me where to go." <em>

_**TT: What? I thought you like traveling around ironically?**_

_Dirk frowns. "Hal, __**now**__." _

_Luckily, Hal does its job and shows the needed directions. But Dirk knows this for sure, he is not going to take jobs on killing this type of captains…_

_He'll just focus on other "seamen" after this._

_Dirk walks towards a locked door, taking his time as he reloads his guns. He really does not want to say that Bro is right to bring a few extra guns –especially ones with ironic night vision on them even though Dirk is using Hal. _

"_Hal, unlock the door." _

_**TT: Yeah, yeah, I got it.**_

_Dirk waits but he's ready._

_**TT: Uh, hey bro, I got some good news and non-ironic bad news...**_

_Dirk raises an eyebrow. "Well?" _

_**TT: The ironic good news is that the door is unlocked.**_

_Dirk groans. Oh fuck… _

"_Don't tell me, some Arschloch is trying to kill me?" _

_**TT: Well bro, here's some more ironic good news. Nope.**_

"_So what's the bad news?" _

_**TT: They're taking your job.**_

"_Warten, how many?"_

_**TT: Ironically one. And that person is going to kill your target.**_

_What? Who would want to kill a captain other than some assassin hired by some royal pain in the ass known as Eridan Ampora? Unless Ampora is planning on something… _

_Fuck it, Dirk will just kill them, whoever he or she is. And it better not be Ampora. _

_Dirk opens the door and immediately crouches. He slowly walks, putting an extra gun near his hip as he carries now one gun. Two is too much when crouching and walking at the same time…_

_Wow, this is definitely not Ampora… Dirk sees two dead bodies, no bullets –definitely not Ampora._

_And whoever this person is, they're good…_

_Dirk takes a left and… _

_Holy fucking fuck…_

_Dirk feels himself standing up as he sees both walls each have a line of corpses…_

_Dirk immediately crouches down, looking all around to make sure there's no one alive and ready to attack him. Dirk sees there's nothing moving… That's good…_

_Dirk puts his gun down and leans towards to one of the corpses. He blanches and almost vomit inside his mouth at the stench. Dirk leans on the side with the gun as he covers his nose and mouth with his free hand. He narrows his eyes at the corpse. _

"_Hal, please zoom on the corpse. The fucker stinks." _

_Hal thankfully doesn't do some joke about not having a nose and zooms in on the corpse. But that's strange. Like the previous two that he saw, there's no sign of bullets. But there's also no sign of struggle. No blood, the neck isn't twisted, and the Adam's apple doesn't look hit. But the dude's definitely dead. _

_But wait, there's something on his neck…_

"_Hal, zoom closer on the neck." _

_**TT: Dude, I don't think it's the right time to check the goods on a dead guy.**_

_But Hal does zoom in on the neck. Sometimes, Dirk wonders why he created an AI that's a copy of his annoying self…_

_But Dirk sees it clearly. A punctured hole. Something went in the guy and killed him. But it's not a knife. It would have shown blood. And it's small enough that a needle could fit… or perhaps a dart…_

_They're all poisoned._

_Yup, pretty good…_

_Good enough to be an assassin…_

_Scheiße, Bro never really taught them how to assassinate an assassin!_

_But of __**course**__, this was supposed to be a simple mission. And Hal did say that the person is not trying to kill him. But then again, Hal didn't really say that the assassin won't kill him. The assassin is here to kill his target. They could try to kill him to make sure there are no witnesses… And what will happen if the two of them meet…? _

_Dirk breathes harshly out of his nose. Yeah… Flirting is definitely not something primary for this type of situation…_

_Dirk taps the side of his ironic shades. _

"_Hal, get me data on where the other person is, __**Jetzt**__." _

_Dirk waits for a while. He taps again. _

"_Hal, I need them now. No waiting bullshit." _

_Dirk waits again. No answer…_

_Oh this better not be some damn prank or malfunction –not now!_

"_Hal!"_

_**TT: …**_

_**TT: …**_

_**TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.**_

_**TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 98.8888888% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.**_

_**TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be -% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.**_

_**TT: ERROR**_

_**TT: ERROR**_

_**TT: ERROR**_

_**TT: ERROR**_

_**TT: The Auto-Responder Server connection failed. An HTTP Error occurred: status code = 407**_

_No fucking way…_

_Did someone –did the assassin hacked Hal…?_

_**Click!**_

_Dirk immediately jumps and flinches. What was that? Dirk turns around, he hears metal creaking and moaning as if preparing something._

_Dirk gets out his gun. He needs to stay on guard. _

_**PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!**_

_What the-_

_**Cough! Cough! Cough! COUGH! COUGH!**_

_Fuck! This is poison gas! _

_Dirk needs to run! He runs! _

_Scheiße! _

_The door! _

_They're going to trap him in this gas! _

_The door! _

_Where's the fucking door!_

_There! There it is! _

_It's shutting but–_

…_Fuck…_

_Dirk didn't… notice a dart… had… hit him…_

_He…. Panicked…_

…_He… didn't want to get… poisoned… _

_Dirk can't… feel… his legs…_

…_He tries… to reach… with his right… hand…_

_**Slam…!**_

…_Fuck …_

…_That door…_

_And all goes black…_

* * *

><p>…<p>

…_First thing Dirk… smells…_

…_It's perfume._

_Dirk tenses, frowns, and tries not to groan. _

_He immediately remembers what happened. And after two seconds, he knows what's probably going on now. _

_He had been knocked out by the dart. The gas was most likely not poisonous. He's been captured. He doesn't feel his shades on him. And he can't feel the majority of his body… _

_Yup, he's fucked._

"_Hey, come __**oooooooon**__, I know you're awake. Look, I'm maybe sorry that I made you breathe in some knockout gas and then throw a dart at you –but I just need to know. Are you here because of Eridan Ampora? If you don't answer, I'll kill you now." _

…_Well, Dirk always wanted an ironic death. But not today._

_He lifts his head up, opens his eyes, and smiles. _

"_Alright, gorgeous." Dirk answers._

_Fortunately, there's no blaring light that it took little time for Dirk to gain vision. And thankfully, the person who captured Dirk is not a man with a feminine voice –but is simply a woman… who has a bionic arm…_

_She giggles at Dirk's response, showing she's wearing blue lipstick. She also has a multi-pupiled eye…_

"_Sorry handsome, I'm already taken." She coos out. She waves her mechanical hand, showing the contrasting gold ring around the ring finger from the silvery metal arm. "Just waiting for the never-coming marriage ring." _

_Never-coming? Dirk keeps his smirk on._

"_You sure I don't have a chance to a beauty like yourself?"_

_Immediately, she rolls her eyes. _

_She takes out a dart in her hand and wags it in front of Dirk. _

"_Heeeeeeeey~, don't make me use another paralyzing dart on you. These things are effective." She then puts the dart on a nearby table. And she has her eyes narrowed at Dirk. "So, who is it?" _

_Dirk raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean by who?" _

_She scoffs. "You know what I mean. Who paid you to kill the stupid captain? No one would be lame and stupid enough to kill someone that works for Ampora." _

_Dirk remains calm. She won't know who if she kills Dirk… Or else Dirk wouldn't be alive right now… Dirk needs to be calm so he can get information on her as well._

"_What about you? As you said, someone shouldn't be attacking him unless with reason." _

_She presses her lips and hums. "You know, for someone who is captured and paralyzed, you sure don't act like this is you first time… You know I can kill you, right?" _

_Dirk keeps his smirk on. He can do it. He can survive. He has to do it right. _

"_Ah, maybe we can start over." Dirk replies. "Hi, I'm Dirk Strider. I'm a professional assassin." _

_She stares at him. She must be wondering if he's really crazy for doing this. But that's good. Surprise is a good part of strategy. And when someone is surprised, one of the high probability to happen is for that someone to follow along –as if to cease confusion. _

"…_It's Vriska… Vriska Serket…" She answers hesitantly. "Pirate…" _

_Of course, the surname Serket is important. It's no surprise that she's a pirate. She's definitely one of the daughters of Marquise "Mindfang" Serket. It makes sense. The hair, the multi-pupiled eye, and her face in general –it all points out that's she's one of the daughters. _

"_Well nice to meet you, Miss Serket," Dirk says as a greeting. "I heard about your mother." _

_Vriska smirks at this. "Well yeah, many should." _

_Dirk allows his smirk to falter a little. "But why are you here? You could hire anyone to do the job like my–"_

_Dirk cuts himself off, makes sure he has a face that looked like he messed up, and frowns. He waits for Vriska to see the "glimpse of weakness" and gain pride…_

"_Your whaaaaaaaat, Strider~," Vriska coos out as she leans forward. "Come on Strider, we're supposed to be more __**honest**__ with each other~."_

_Dirk keeps silent for a while and then sighs out loud. "Fine, I was hired." _

_Vriska smirks bigger at the "reveal." Now Dirk waits for it…_

"_Oh __**really**__, that's all?" She then giggles. "To tell you the truth, the captain is just some asshole that was doing some human trafficking. But I only killed him just to get back at one of my fiancé's exes. Turns out he has a great relationship with his father –both are horrible in general though." _

_He and his?_

"_He and his father?" _

_She tenses up at her mistake. Dirk waits for it… He hopes she doesn't do the bad choice like kill him or –Whoa fuck!_

_Dirk knows his eyes are fully widened and honest with shock and a bit of fear. Even though Dirk knows that the common choice is to threat, he didn't think Vriska would take the dart and have it so close that Dirk can feel the sharp needle around his Adam's apple…_

_Dirk can feel the needle more and shake. It's like an itch…_

_Dirk looks up to Vriska's eyes. They are narrowed, filled with anger and… embarrassment. Huh, what do you know, Vriska's fiancé is actually bisexual –or could it be…_

"_Hey, hey, I didn't mean to discriminate," Dirk protests, the higher pitch in his voice may be more natural with the dart on his neck. "If it makes you feel better, he loves y–"_

"_No, he doesn't! He can't– he can't…"_

_She lowers the dart away from Dirk's neck with a saddened look on her face. She heaves out a sigh and then crosses her arms. She looks at Dirk with pursed lips and narrowed eyes. She then does another sigh. _

"_Look, if you're here because of Eridan and prove it, I won't kill you. Got it?" Vriska finally says. "Ampora knows me and I know Eridan. Because if you are here because of him, I… I need to vent out. And if you can't prove it, I'll use the __**other**__ method." _

_Dirk immediately takes a look around and tries to remember…_

"_He hides a neck brace with his scarf." Dirk answers. "Don't know why but he does." _

"…_Huh…" Vriska places her hands on her hips and raises an eyebrow. "So you've worked for him a few times."_

_Dirk raises an eyebrow back at Vriska. "And how do you know about Eridan then?" _

_Vriska immediately smirks. "Why nothing really~, just that we're siblings, that's aaaaaaaall~."_

_Dirk feels himself tense and his mind blanked out. Wirklich? The fuck?! There's another?! But this one can kill someone without whining it to some other person! And this one doesn't dress up like a hybrid of a douchebag prick hiposter and a Harry Potter knockoff. But there's no way she's lying though. Why would she? And the way she smirks is identical to Ampora's… _

"_So, when does the effect of the dart stop?" Dirk asks, acting as if he's relaxing than ironically panicking on the inside. "And do you know why would Ampora give me this job?" _

_Vriska playfully hums and taps on her chin. "Hmmmmmmmm~, maybe after I get out of here and let you take the blame for __**aaaaaaaall**__ this unnecessary killing spree. And who knows about my brother, maybe he wants to help his first love –or save a few whales and people so he doesn't feel like an asshole. Who knows~?" She then chuckles. "And you know what, I'm going to let you live and lie to Eri. He needs some weird reassurance and comfort before he makes a hissy fit." _

_She gets a plastic cork and puts it on the needle of the dart. She puts the now safe dart in one of her pants' pockets. And with a bit of struggle, she lifts up the fat corpse of the captain with a long grant before dropping it on a chair. _

"_Alright, just kill him some more, take a photo, and tell him you did your job. With a few minor mistakes that happened, of course." She says as she claps her hands up and down as if she's getting dust off. _

_Dirk can feel less paralyzed in the arms now. He can twitch his fingers. He can feel his fingers twitch. The dart is losing part of its power but Dirk needs to be careful… She's more than formidable and can change her mind. _

"_So, you're going to leave me all alone with a bunch of dead bodies until Ampora gets here?" _

_Vriska hums and leans forwards to Dirk with a sneer._

"_You know what, I'm going to tell you something –a little secret~." She utters in Dirk's ear. "But you got to pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, __**pretty**__ please promise me that you will keep it __**and**__ that you won't tell Eridan that I was here. Promise?" _

_Dirk is going to do this of course. He is getting paid with money and a secret. Why would he refuse? _

_But Dirk makes sure he takes a moment to make it look like he's thinking about it. He ironically likes keeping secrets from people –especially from Ampora. _

"_Alright… I'll do it."_

_Dirk definitely gets the perfect response as he sees Vriska smirks in victory. _

"_That's so __**sweet**__ of you." Vriska cheers out. But then she gets off of Dirk's space. Of course, Vriska gets something out –a phone. _

_Dirk stays silent as he watches her… text._

_Vriska giggles almost sweetly as she reads something on her phone. From what Vriska revealed to him, Dirk can conclude that it's from her fiancé…_

_And from her body language, Dirk can also conclude that Vriska is still in love with the guy. Huh… this reminds him way too much of the situation with him and Roxy… _

"_You know what, Dirk," Vriska speaks out as she puts her phone away. "I'll tell you later. I __**knoooooooow**__ we'll meet again." _

_She gets something out from the back pockets again. And it's his shades. _

"_Look, sorry about getting some guy to hack your glasses. And don't worry, the AI you have will be fine and I already messaged Eridan." Vriska then puts Dirk's shades back on his face. "Now bye-bye, I got a date and you got a report to deliver to Eridan."_

_Dirk struggles on turning his neck as she does a final wave and leaves from the door behind Dirk. But she did say that Hal is okay._

"_Hal, Sind Sie ok?"_

_**TT: Yeah. I'm good. **_

_**TT: Oh, and by the way, the other person is going downstairs as there's a speedboat near this ship. And for more ironic news, the person that hacked into me is in that overpriced shitty boat.**_

_Dirk sighs in a bit of relief. He also can feels his hands now…_

_**TT: And if you're ironically curious about what she said about messaging Ampora. Just ask, bro.**_

_Dirk rolls his eyes. He clenches and unclenches his hands. He can now feel his toes…_

"_Just show me, Hal." _

_Hal shows a log._

_**CA: strider i need a fuckin report**_

_**CA: strider wwhere the fuck is your report i dont havve time for your ironic shenanigans **_

_**CA: strider are you there**_

_**CA: strider this is an easy fuckin mission so answwer now**_

_**CA: STRIDER**_

_**TT: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.**_

_**TT: Killed a few guys here and there. That's all.**_

_**TT: I'll finish the target off soon. **_

_**CA: really**_

_**CA: fine wwhatevver just kill them too i guess**_

_**CA: and get me a picture wwhen youre done **_

_**CA: ill be wwaitin so hurry the fuck up**_

_Dirk groans and sighs. He is pretty sure after reading that, he can move most of the necessary parts of his body. But he doesn't want to go to Ampora. The guy is a fucking whiny douche…_

_Dirk stands up and –whoa, holy-Jesus-riding-a-fuck! His ass is way too numb!_

_Dirk groans and sighs again. _

_This is a fucking long night…_

_He didn't even get the secret._

* * *

><p>"Drrrk… Dirk…" Jake says. "Do you… want to…"<p>

"Jake, I know it's been some days since you got those bandages removed –but you got to keep your neck resting and recovering, okay?" Dirk comforts as he puts his hand on Jake's shoulder.

Jake smiles as he leans on Dirk's touch. Dirk tries not to blush and he immediately looks away. Why does his heart have to ironically do the metaphor of soaring and doing circus backflips so easily?

Jake writes down on his notepad.

_Do you want to cuddle again?_

Of course, Dirk feels himself going way too excited about the offer. He should be used to it by a few days ago…

"Sure, Jake. After dinner, okay?"

Jake bites a bit of his bottom lip as he writes down more.

_That would be wunderßar dirk_

_I look forward to it_

Dirk feels his breath hitch and his body tense as Jake pats his hand over Dirk's.

But Dirk needs to calm down. He needs to not over-panic about this. He's an ex-assassin.

"You misspelled Wunderbar, Jake." Dirk answers, trying not to sound tense at all. "The ß is not in the word, it's actually just a regular B."

Jake opens his mouth like a fish. He then crosses out the top sentence and writes again.

_That would be wunderbar dirk_

Dirk smiles and nods at this. Though Jake is still recovering to get his voice back, Dirk can still teach him how to write and read German. And in good irony, Jake is a quick learner and –Whoa, whoa, _whoa_! Why is Jake taking Dirk's hand off of his shoulder?!

Jake isn't being violent though… He's being gentle as he takes Dirk's hand off… put sit near his face and–

Immediately, Dirk feels his face go on fire.

He… Jake…

Jake actually kissed his hand…

"Thank… you…"

Dirk can't help but feel himself smile. Jake's happiness is way too ironically much and contagious at times…

"Come on Jake, we got to eat dinner. I heard we're going to have a decent salad and soup today."

Jake smiles and follows Dirk.

But then he immediately stops.

"…Jake?"

"P…Pretty…"

But before Dirk blushes once more and ironically deny his attractiveness, a familiar voice coos out.

"Whyyyyyyyy thank you, cutie~. I see that there can be a nice gentleman in here."

…Vriska Serket.

Dirk turns around and gives a "polite" smile to Vriska.

"Hello Vriska, how are you?"

She giggles and flips her hair. "Oh, you know, I was going around and found out where my brother and fiancé are living in temporarily."

Dirk immediately tenses and feels his heart stop. The fiancé is here?!

"Oh really?" Dirk says as casually as he can. "Where is he?"

She giggles again. "Remember when I promised you to keep a little secret, I give you a secret?"

"Ja, why?"

"Well~, the secret is my fiancé. You see, my fiancé is–"

But Vriska doesn't' answer. She stops smiling and there's something that caught her eyes…

She immediately runs.

"Joooooooohn!"

…No fucking way…

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it took some time. But hey, Vriska is here in prison and there's a few secrets in her that she may reveal to John. Thus making her the second visitor for John. <strong>

**But the next update will be a Pro in Dave's perspective. But after that… well, I know I'm going to have fun writing.**

**And again, thanks for reading and please review! Bye! **


	46. Pro XIV: Serket

**Hey guys! I am so sorry that I took so long to update this chapter, I got busy with college and doing a reward one-shot for someone. **

**Also 22176smith, don't worry. This fanfiction is still going on and continuing. And when there's no year when it last updated, it usually means that the last time the fanfiction updated is the current year. **

**Also I want to tell you guys that I have watched the Deadpool movie! And it was awesome! If you guys like Deadpool, please watch it! The film might get a sequel! XD**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Pro XIV: Serket<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Dave is so boooored…!<em>

_He's not even ironically bored. He's just bored. _

_Why is he here? _

_Seriously, he could be in that mansion and slicing people's heads and limbs off than lying on his stomach on a roof with a sniper rifle. And the sniper rifle doesn't even have bullets in it! _

_Kidnap a person without killing anyone? That's boring bullshit! _

_The only thing exciting about this job is that Dave knows there's a double spy in a drug group where they're inside the same building that Dave is on top of as they do a meeting. But this mission is still boring!_

_But then again, at least the target moved into this barren mansion. There's no guards and there's barely anyone there._

_Dave then feels his phone vibrate. Dave sighs out in relief. __**Finally**__, he can get distracted with what's going on in his phone than watching and waiting for the target to maybe go to her bedroom._

_Dave takes out his phone from the back pocket and unlocks it. Thankfully, Dave already has his shades on ironically. Nighttime and phone light is harsh on Dave's ironic eyes –and hey, shades actually make him an ironically better driver. _

_But Dave should focus on the text he got. _

_Huh, it's from his girlfriend. Dave lets out a smirk. He still can't believe he has gotten such a cool girlfriend._

_**- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -**_

_**GC: H3Y D4VE**_

_**TG: sup terezi hows it going **_

_**GC: PR3TTY GOOD**_

_**TG: cool im just ironically doing my shitty job**_

_**TG: im doing literally nothing since the shit im doing is absolutely fucking boring**_

_**GC: H3H3H3**_

_**GC: SO DO YOU W4NT TO H4NG OUT**_

_**GC: NO ON3 IS H3R3**_

_Dave can't help but frown a little. _

_**TG: terezi you know why we cant **_

_**TG: we can have fun by making some shitty art again**_

_Dave waits for her response. _

_But after what he feels like a minute past…_

_**TG: terezi**_

_**TG: you okay**_

_**GC: FIN3**_

_**- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -**_

_Dave frowns a bit more. He then sighs and tries to go back working._

_His girlfriend is still cool but there's been this lingering problem in their relationship. She's a high school student and Dave is legally and physically an adult. _

_Dave really does like her. He isn't trying to use her. And really, there's more to a relationship than fucking. Dave can wait. Ironic cuddles are enough for him. And Dave really doesn't want to mess this up. _

_Dave met Terezi through Pesterchum and although she lied about being six in their first chat, both of them had a shit ton of fun talking to each other. Dave thanked the ironic gods when he got to chat with her on Pesterchum today. They had made so much shitty gifs and ironic shitty art after that. _

_And maybe after making some jokes and doing ironic shit, Dave wanted to meet her –even though he was around eighteen while she was thirteen._

_But Dave isn't a pedophile! _

_He hates them! He had repeatedly stabbed a pedo after he insulted Dave's ironic eyes. And when they met, they were just friends! _

_And it was Terezi who confessed to him. Sure, Dave had this big ironic crush on her –but Dave never thought of confessing to her. And he was doing some ironic drama in his head where they somehow can't have each other because Dave is an assassin. He blames Bro for making him watch –actually binge-watch a fuck ton of romance drama…_

_But hey, they're together. And they'll both enjoy dating each other without sex. Dave can wait._

_Dave feels his phone vibrate again. But's it's not from Terezi…_

_**From: Asshole Brother**_

_**Sup bro**_

_**From: Asshole Brother**_

_**How's the sniper life doing for you? **_

_Dave immediately frowns. He types the insufferable big brother with a "fuck you" and sends it. Bro is such an asshole for giving this job to Dave. _

_Sure, Dave needs to work on his shooting –but for fuck's sake, this is __**so**__ boring!_

_Dave looks back at the mansion. Still, there's barely any action and the target is not going to her bedroom… Ugh…_

_Wait. Where's–_

_Dave's phone vibrates again. Dave takes a glance at it. He can take a quick look. The target is still in the mansion. And who knows, maybe it's from T–_

_**Bang!**_

_Was zum Teufel?! _

_Dave immediately flinches as shards of glass fly out. One grazed his cheek. The telescope is fucked up now! Shit!_

_Dave takes the sniper to the ground and has his stomach on the floor. Heilige Scheiße!_

_Scheiße! There is a guard! _

_And he's near while Dave has nothing but this shitty rifle!_

_Dave needs to get the hell away from this roof! _

_Dave tries to crawl to the door. The sniper is on his back and his phone is held by one of his fists. He takes a quick look back before he stands up and runs to the door. _

_He quickly opens the door and shuts the door. The guy could be anywhere and Dave doesn't know where the fuck the guy is. He breathes in and out, in and out, and __**fuck**__…_

_The phone vibrates and does a little tune. Huh? …Oh wow, Bro is calling him…_

_Dave answers. _

"_Dude, Was zum Teufel!" Dave blurts out as he goes downstairs with the sniper rifle still on his back. "This mission fucking sucks! It's boring! And there's this mystery guard that shot my scope!"_

_Dave finally gets to the bottom of the stairs and runs to a hallway._

"_**Wait, Was?"**__ Bro answers. __**"We're supposed to kidnap one of the Serkets. How did you fuck up so bad that–"**_

_**Bang!**_

_Fuck! _

_Dave curses out as the bullet hits part of his shoulder. Scheiße!_

"_**Dave?! Sie okay?**__" _

"_Fucker shot through a window! Hit my fucking shoulder!" Dave yells out as he runs faster. He seriously needs to get away! _

"_**What does he look like?"**_

_Dave almost trips. _

"_The fuck do you mean what does he look like! Fucker–"_

"_**Nie Verstand. Go hide. In a closet is okay. Just hide."**_

"_Dude, did you just ironically–"_

"_**Ich bin Ernst! Hide. Now! I know the fucker! Get down. Crawl. And HIDE!"**_

_Dave falls down to the ground and crawls. He looks around, trying to find an open door room. Where is it? Where is it! Fuck, he needs to hurry. _

_If Bro is panicking, so should Dave. _

_Ah! There it is! _

_Dave tries not to stand up and crawls quicker to the room and –Fuck! No closet! _

_**Bang! Bang! Bang!**_

_Was zur Hölle ist das?!_

"_**Dave! Hide now! He said that he's in the building!"**_

"_I thought one of the drug gangs are having a meeting here!" Dave whisper-yells. _

"_**Just hide! The fucker's going to get to you!" **_

_Crap! Crap! __**Shit!**__ Dave is panicking! _

_Bed! There's a bed! _

_Dave crawls under the bed. And thank god, the sniper rifle can fit under… _

"_Okay Bro, I'm hiding…" Dave pants out, waiting for… for something… "So tell me, why I'm hiding? And how the hell do you know this–?" _

_**Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! **_

"_**Ugh!**__"_

"_Shit, man! Shit!" _

"_We're in the English –__**Ack**__!"_

_**Bang! Bang! **_

…_Holy fuck…_

_Dave holds his breath and puts his phone on hold. Then he sees…_

_Dave has his jaw dropped as two gangsters fall down… and a pair of combat boots walking past the two suffering gangsters…_

_Fuck, Dave can't shoot. The rifle is on his back and he'll make too much noise before he gets an opportunity to shoot and–_

_Warten, where are the other guys? Where are the other guards? There can't be just one guy here…_

_This… this guy is not just an assassin… He's more than that…_

_Dave just watches as those pair of combat boots walk away… not caring about the dudes going… unconscious…?_

_Wait… both are still alive…! _

_Why does this guy not kill them? It would be easier…_

_The skill this guy has… Dave doesn't want to know how skilled he is…_

_Dave then hears it. The door closing…_

_Dave sighs out a relieved breath… And then he gets out the bed and quickly yet quietly strides away. He can't run. Too loud. He strides to the stairs. He goes downstairs… and –Fucking hell! _

_All of the drug gang members are shot and unconscious… But why unconscious? Three of them have machetes and the leader brought his duo of mini-guns! _

_Ah! The double spy! He's shot… but he's not unconscious yet._

_Dave runs to the guy, lifts him up, and stares through his shade as the spy groans at the pain._

"_S-Strider…" He chokes out. "T-There's… one… g-guy… He… He…"_

_Shit… _

_Shit…! _

_Shit! _

_Scheiße! Scheiße! Scheiße!_

_**Scheiße**__! _

_Dave needs to get the hell away from here! He doesn't want to meet the guy! He needs to get the fuck out of here! _

_Dave runs out of the doors!_

_He looks around. Dave looks up, he sees someone on the roof… Dave takes the sniper rifle off of his back and walks straight to his car. He needs to calm down. He needs to calm down as the guy might not want to shoot innocent people. He needs to calm down. Dave looks back up to the roof, he's not there… Fuck, he needs to run!_

_Dave finally runs for his fucking life. He gets inside the car. He starts the car and drives. _

_He drives and drives __**really**__ fucking fast. _

_Dave looks back and then feels the stabbing pain on his shoulder. Scheiße…!_

_Dave sighs out a heavy relief. _

_And he drives…_

_Dave drives and drives, trying to calm down… _

_He looks back again and then… sighs out in relief…_

_Out of all his assassin missions, Dave can't remember any guy actually… being a challenge –or a threat non-ironically. He doesn't think he can even kill that mystery guy alone…_

_And Dave just drives… calming down…_

_And after speeding through two yellow lights… _

_Dave finally stops putting his phone on hold…_

"_**Dave? You there? Come on, fucker! Antworte mir!"**_

"_I'm here, I'm here!" Dave answers. "I just got out… Turns out there's this one fucker who knocked out a gang belonging to the English… I got to the car, drove the fuck away, and away from the fucker –I'm never doing this shit again…" _

_Dave can hear Bro… sighing in relief…? _

"_**Danke Gott... It turns out the Serket target got that ace up her sleeve… Our spy told me he got there and I immediately lost signal. Just get back home now."**_

_Dave raises an eyebrow. "Bro, you got to explain who this fucker is. You know. And I need to know. Fucker ruined the scope, scraped my shoulder, and let's not forget, he knocked out an entire drug group that's under the English empire, and our double spy is on knocked fucking out! Tell me. __**Now**__." _

_Bro groans then sighs. __**"I guess I'll reveal **__**what**__** he is. You and Dirk will know him later when it's time, 'kay?"**_

_Dave groans. Of course, Bro is hiding something and is being a complete dick about it. Then Dave sighs. Well, it's better than nothing…_

"_Fein," Dave says. "What the fuck is he? And do you know him?"_

_Dave can hear his Bro chuckle._

"_**If you're so curious–"**_

"_I am. Dude is talented. And honestly, he scared me shitless." _

_Dave can hear Bro humming, thinking whether he was going to be a dick or not. But then Dave hears Bro sigh…_

"_**How about this, I met him in this secret war. I was in this ironic secret soldier group. Then shit hit the fan. And now… it looks like Serket got him."**__ Bro answers.__** "Thought he was…–Nevermind, it looks like the rumors were true. Serket tricked him and doesn't want to have a talk with the Amporas."**_

"_So what now? Bro, I can't go empty when I go meet Ampora." _

"_**I'll go talk to the prick. I personally know him and he personally knows the other guy. And by the way, can you get some sushi? We're out of sushi."**_

_Dave rolls his eyes but he turns to the right where he knows a sushi restaurant is near. He knows he won't get anything else from Bro and the mystery guy. And he's also craving for sushi after that whole fiasco. _

_And he shouldn't worry or overthink it too much, Bro will tell him and Dirk._

_And it's not like Serket is going to be a problem in his life. _

_He's going back to killing._

* * *

><p>"So John," Dave coos as he stares lovingly at his boyfriend. "What do you want to do?"<p>

John just shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, maybe we can go back to the break room and watch a movie. Or maybe we can go to the cafeteria. A friend of mine said she has this cool vest that she wants to show me."

Dave raises an eyebrow. "A vest?"

"Mmhmm! She actually showed it to me before. It looks like a normal vest but–"

"Joooooooohn!"

Dave couldn't react as he hears a female voice. Dave turns his head to find the source, only see a glimpse of blonde hair before it disappears at the corner of his eye.

Dave turns his back and–…W… What…?

Dave feels his body go stiff.

The source is blonde female…

And she's… she's hugging John…

And _fucking_ kissing him!

This no-good bitch is going to fucking–!

But then someone grabs Dave's wrist.

"Thtrider! Don't you dare touch her! The's a guetht."

Captor?!

What the fuck is he–

"Huh, you're kinda cute."

Dave snaps his head back to the bitch who kissed John and glares at her. Who the fuck does she think she is!

But she just giggles and puts out a hand.

"The name's Vriska Serket. I'm John's fiancé. How are you?"

* * *

><p><strong>Of course, I end this chapter here. Especially after Valentine's Day… <strong>

**I'm sorry that I didn't get to update soon as I was busy with school and other fanfiction. **

**And I hope you guys like Vriska because let's just say a future few chapters will have Vriska being in prison. And she's going to very significant.**

**Well, see you guys later! I'll try to update soon! Bye! **


	47. Con XXXIII: Marquise

**I am sorry for not updating as soon as I believed. School can take a lot of time from your schedule. I will try my best to update as much as I can. Again, sorry for the wait.**

**Well, here is Vriska. :D**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXXIII<strong>_

_**Marquise**_

* * *

><p>John could recognize the blue lipstick she's wearing and her multi-pupiled eye…<p>

He really didn't expect to see Vriska in here. Or have her kiss him. Or have Vriska greet–…Oh no…

"The name's Vriska Serket. I'm John's fiancé. How are you?"

John can feel the sharp stabbing dread as he sees his boyfriend's face. He…He looks so shocked and… _heartbroken_…

No… John doesn't want this! He doesn't want–

"Hey Joooooooohn~," Vriska coos out. "I really missed you…"

John blinks and stares at his best friend. Vriska would never show any weakness this easily and with that smile she's showing…

"…I missed you too, Vriska." John chokes out as he smiles back at her.

He really has. She's been so kind and great to him. Even though they immediately like each other because their mutual love to the movie, Con Air, when they were young. She kept reassuring John that she was okay ever since John had accidently came out to her and he knew that Vriska loved him…

Then someone loudly "coughs," getting both the attention of Vriska and John and –Oh shit! Dave…

John feels the familiar stabbing dread and an accompanying guilt drowning him…

Dave is glaring at him, at both of them. But John can see it. Dave is hurt…

He looks not angry… but betrayed…

"…So John," Dave spits out. "I didn't know you have a fiancé."

"D-Dave–"

"_Don't_. Just… don't…" Dave turns his head, looking away from him. But John can see Dave… shaking…

"John, who's this guy? He's kinda cute."

John rubs the back of his head, biting the inside of his cheek and his bottom lip back to back. What should he say?

He can't reveal that Dave is his boyfriend with a lot of people around. But he doesn't want to upset Dave…

"U-Um…" John stutters out. Shit! What should he do? Should he really tell the truth? Or risk making Dave believing that he's being cheated on… again…

But then Vriska scoffs, breaking John's inner panic. She rolls her eyes and has her hands placed on her hips. A smirk is on her blue lipstick lips.

"Well never mind _that_," Vriska drawls out as she gets closer to John and puts her arm around John's shoulders. "I need my little tour with my husband-to-be. Turns out, I get special treatment today as no one gets to interrupt _our_ special time~."

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

John stares wide-eyed at Vriska. He knows she's trying to help him. But this isn't helping! It's not helping at all!

"Come on, John! You can show me this breakroom. Please~."

…He seriously doesn't' know what to do.

He is panicking on the inside again.

What's John supposed to do?!

John takes a look at Dave. Btu Dave isn't looking at him.

Dave is… He's walking away…

No…

John could only stare as Dave walks away, only the back is what John can see from Dave. John can't imagine what his face looks like –or what Dave is feeling about what happened and how he doesn't know how big of a misunderstanding this is.

But it seems Vriska is oblivious to John's behavior since she pulls John to go somewhere. And John can't struggle. There are people watching but…

Will… will Dave actually forgive him –or more specifically, understand John's situation?

"Hey John, do you know where we can be alone?" Vriska speaks out all of a sudden.

John blinks, looks up, and is now surprised. Vriska has a serious look on her face…

John takes a quick glance back, seeing thankfully and disappointedly that there's no one really behind them…

John slowly sighs…

She does have answers…

"The lunch ladies have a storage closet." John answers. "I was gonna go to the cafeteria to see what one of my friends have that they want to show me. I can guide you to the cafeteria…"

Vriska smiles and kisses him on the cheek.

John ignores the stares he's now getting as he guides his fiancé to the cafeteria…

He smiles and waves back at the ladies. He hears a prison guard saying to another that John must be kinky for what he's about to do –but John knows what is really going to happen. And John hopes Vriska has some good answers…

"Hey Alisa, is it alright if I show my fiancé to the food closet?"

"If you don't steal any food. We need to prepare with the new group coming."

John smiles and nods. He walks to the food closet with Vriska, shuts the door, and…

"You're pissed. Was the show too much?"

John goes still and then blinks at Vriska.

After a moment of silence, he sighs as he crosses his arms and leans on one leg. There's no denying it that he's angry but…

John looks at her with a sullen look, waiting for her to reveal what she knows. He really doesn't want to be here. As much as he missed Vriska, there's still a problem with… Dave…

And John definitely has to explain a lot of things with Dave… if he can get a chance to talk to Dave…

"Vriska… just tell me…"

Vriska nods and hums. Then she finally begins. "Your aunt Betty isn't the culprit."

John tenses at the name but inwardly curses at the reveal. He could have sworn she would!

"But that doesn't mean she's all innocent either." Vriska says, getting John's attention and curiosity. "She's responsible for getting you the guilty verdict. Paid the judge with a cruise. But then that judge "retired" and disappeared –he still out there alive though. I know."

…

"…John?"

John really doesn't know what to say. Or what to feel. Or what to do…

Should he feel happy that he got some answers about that aunt of his? That he knows she is involved? Or should he be disappointed? Because she's not the one who–…

"Did she…" John chokes out. He coughs a little and looks away more. "Did she get someone to –to do t-that to Dad…? I mean. You know. I-I just… I just need to know…"

John can hear Vriska sigh slowly and sadly…

"No, she didn't even pay for an assassin. Her account showed her bribe to the judge –so that means she isn't covering and that she didn't get involved with your Dad's murder like that… Sorry…"

John can't help but laugh a little.

"Why are you sorry? You tried…" John tries to reassure. But he doesn't feeling better…

"But you've waited, John. You've waited while Karkat and I can't find anything good…" John can tell that Vriska is biting her bottom lip a little. "I mean, Meenah is great and all but what can we do? We only had one lead and–"

"Wait, what do you mean Meenah is great and all?"

John looks at Vriska who looks like… flustered…?

Wait…

Oh…!

"I thought–"

"She got over him. Has, um, someone else…" Vriska says as she has her hand rubbing up and down her metal arm. "You have… You have a really cool cousin, John."

"Third cousin, Vriska. Twice removed too." John can't help but answer. He even giggles at what he said. It's still a force of habit…

Vriska hums and nods slowly.

"Look, I'm sorry –but we talked a lot after a duel and then we were having fun, she was braiding my hair and I was talking to her about some stuff, and…"

"Okay, okay, you're dating my cousin." John can't help but laugh out. "If you're worried about calamitous and illicit affairs, I'm still ahead of you with a _lot_ more lovers."

Vriska giggles. "_Yuuuuuuuup_~, you're the slut, John."

John giggles back. "The sluttiest."

John definitely feels better as both laugh about it. The weight on John's shoulder feels lighter as John remembers about previous and familiar conversations like this. No stress. No worries. And plenty of playful banter.

"Okay, okay, John," Vriska speaks out after their mutual giggling has finally ended. "Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, _okay_," She takes a deep breath after the eighth "okay." She then sighs out and looks ready. "I got other news as well."

John raises an eyebrow and looks at Vriska. A pit has now entered his stomach…

"What other news…?"

Vriska chews her bottom lip a little and pushes some of her hair to the back of her head. She slowly sighs out before she crosses her arms and looks directly eye to eye with John.

"…Feferi is almost fully recovered."

"What?! She's alive? But –but she got shot."

"Yeah but the shot wasn't too fatal though…" Vriska notifies. "She isn't exactly as cheery and bubbly like what Meenah said… Then again, she got shot by… someone she knows…"

"Someone she knows?"

"It sounds complicated –she doesn't really want to talk about it…"

John hums and crosses his arms. He looks at the bottom shelves as he thinks about this news…

He and Feferi weren't exactly close. She's Meenah's little bubbly sister who wants to be in charge and loves the sea. They would share a few fish puns here and there –and Feferi is definitely the only Peixes that John believes isn't fully crazy like her sister and…Aunt Betty.

But they're acquaintances –and that's all…

"…Any other news…?" John croaks out hesitantly. The bad feeling is back and the weight is heavier…

"Yeah but…" Vriska sighs and pushes hair back to her head. "Unfortunately, it's bad news. It's news about my _sister_…"

"Aranea? What's going on with Aranea…?"

Vriska puffs out a frustrated sigh. A scowl on her face…

"She's doing an extermination –planning to get rid of an organization –a family even." Vriska pulls her hair back in frustration. "She keeps calling herself Mindfang –she's using mom's name while she goes–…"

"…Vriska?"

"Sorry, sorry," She says. "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, _sorry_…. I just… I don't know if I can call that… that psychopath _bitch_ as my sister anymore! I mean, I know that I'm a bitch –but she's just so psycho and doing that self-worshipping crap all over herself! I get it! I get that they're dangerous! But what she's doing–! What she's been doing–! What she had done–…_Ugh_!"

"Whoa, whoa, Vriska? You okay? Is there–"

"No, I'm good… I'm okay now… Just… I'm just pissed off, that's all." Vriska pants out.

John waits as Vriska calms herself. She breathes in… and out… She pushes a bunch of strands to the back of her head… She moves and cracks her neck a little… And finally, she takes a big sigh out…

"Well…" She sighs out. "That's all the news I got…"

"…I-I see…" John chokes out, he doesn't know what to do. He almost forgot about what's going on outside of prison. And he knows more is going to happen, too... Shit, what is he supposed to do?

"Hey John," John immediately looks up to Vriska's comforting voice. "…You do know you're not alone when you get out of here, right?"

John gives out a small smile. "Yeah… you guys are the best."

Vriska chuckles. "And don't you forget about it, John." Then she smirks. "And speaking of _help_, it looks like you're doing okay here. I wonder why~."

Oh no… Vriska knows…

"I mean, you have this fear of going and staying in prison 'cause of your dad. But from what I saw from my _dear_ fiancé is that you're calm and _quite_ comfortable~."

"Vriska…"

"Could it be that cute guy you were talking to~?" Vriska asks teasingly. She should already know by John's blushing red cheeks. "I can't be surprised, really. I _know_ you have a thing for bad boys~."

"_Vriskaaaa_…!" John whines out, trying to hide his burning red face. It's so embarrassing~!

Even though Vriska knows that her fiancé is gay and all, John still can't get used to her relentless teasing! And she even tried to embarrass John by kissing him in front of–…Oh fucking shit!

Embarrassment is fully gone in John. Full-on panic is in!

Dave! _Shit_! He forgot about Dave!

"John? You okay? Is it about your crush? I mean, the guy was _so_ full-on jealous when–"

"We're dating."

…

"…What?"

John can't help but look frantically around and gnaw on his bottom lip. A hand is gripping locks of his hair. Shit… Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit_!

"We're… Dave and I are dating and… and…"

Luckily, John knows she understands. He hears her gasp. But that doesn't help calm John down! He still doesn't know what to do! With Dave or with the outside world! _Fuck_!

Fuck…!

…Fuck…

_Fuck_…

"…John…? Hey, don't crouch down –you –you don't need to panic. I'm sorry, John. I didn't –I thought…"

…

"…I'll fix this."

…What…?

John hesitantly looks up at Vriska. Luckily, she's crouched down low that John doesn't have to strain his neck.

"I'll fix this. Don't worry or panic, John. You already got a lot of things on you right now and I need to fix the mess I made. It's something I can do as your smoking hot fiancé."

John blinks a few times at Vriska before he chuckles and smiles at her.

"You would really do that? Even if it makes you less of a badass?"

Vriska scoffs playfully. "_Please_, I'm badass enough for the both of us."

Both Vriska and John laugh at this. The atmosphere around them is no longer tense.

Still laughing, John slowly gets up standing straight while Vriska follows. And after a few chuckles and giggles, they finally stop and smile at each other. And finally, they both hug each other… Both really missed one another…

"I'm so glad that you're okay, John…"

"So glad to see you too, Vriska…"

They both give each other a small pat on the back before they both end the hug…

"Alright," Vriska speaks out. "We need to look like we had the best make out ever –like complete sloppy and we're some stereotypical teen couple. And I'll give you a "hickey" while you make me look like you had the best motorboat since forever. Then, I'll go meet your bad boy cutie while you go get that thing from your friend? Good plan?"

John chuckles and smiles back at Vriska.

"Good plan. Let's do this."

* * *

><p><strong>Hopefully I did Vriska's character okay. She's an amazing character and she's going to be in prison in the next two chapters. <strong>

**And don't worry, Vriska will talk to Dave... **

**With the next chapter being in Dave's perspective, of course. **

**Thanks for reading and please review. I'll see you guys in the next chapter. Bye!**


	48. Con XXXIV: Spinneret

**Sorry that it took so long with updating as tests and homework were dragging me down…**

**I had to take finals and now, I am finished with my semester and have more time on writing fanfictions! Yay!**

**And I am so glad that you guys like Vriska, she's an interesting character that I like. However, she's not going to be in the fanfiction for that long. Sorry. **

**But let's just say she's definitely going to do a lot in the background after her visit. **

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Con XXXIV<strong>_

_**Spinneret **_

* * *

><p>Of course…<p>

Of _fucking_ course, Dave should have fucking know!

He should have known that John is way too damn perfect and cute to not have some hot chick on his side. But _fuck_!

Dave doesn't understand –he doesn't know what to think!

John has a girlfriend –a _fiancé_!

And Dave should be pissed!

Dave supposed to be angry –livid –pissed off his damn fucking mind at John!

He got cheated on! And again, too! He even told John that he got cheated on!

And he should have punched John in the face! That's what all cheaters need –a fucking punch in the face!

…But he couldn't ruin that perfect cute face really…

But he should!

But…

Dave sighs and crosses his arms as he feels a heavy weight on his chest. He can't believe he's feeling… _sad_…

And not pissed off and mad like he should be…

Plus, he needs to go back to his cell since Dirk and English should be there. But what is Dave going to do after the meeting? How is he going to act when John comes back?

Should he listen to John if John's going to explain what happened? But there's no way John is going to make an excuse of what he saw…

"Yo Dave, you're a little late." Dave doesn't respond to what Dirk says. Until… "…Did you see her with John?"

Dave immediately whips his head up at Dirk.

"Warten Sie, wissen Sie?" Dave shouts out. "Wie? And why didn't you stop her? Or help a bro? Didn't you see me? Because I sure as hell saw that Hündin shoving her tongue and tits down his–"

Unfortunately, English is in the cell and he kicks Dave in the head.

"Lan…_guage_…" English hacks out. He is glaring down at Dave as he sits on the top bunk with his feet swinging back and forth in the air. He then quickly writes something down and shows it to Dave.

_Dont you dare insult her you artless scut!_

_She is a woman of high beauty and caliber i just know it!_

"_Pff!_ Her? Yeah fucking _right_," Dave scoffs. "I'll say this in English for you to understand. She. Is. A. _Bitch_. And there's nothing in your goddamn fucked up mind that's going to convince me otherwise. So you–"

"_Ouch_. I know I can be a total bitch at times but that's a little harsh."

Dave immediately freezes the mixture of anger and dread boiling inside him. There's that voice Dave really doesn't want to hear...

Dave snaps his head at the smirking fiancé.

She giggles and places her hands on her hips. "_Woooooooow_, you look pissed."

Dave tries to restrain himself from punching that stupid smug face of hers. Even though he detests that she's John's fiancé and that John has a fiancé, Dave's ironic idiotic feelings is keeping him from trying to hurt John…

"What do you want?" Dave growls out, glaring at her. "And where's John?"

But of course, Dave is kicked again in the head by English. English is glaring and growling at Dave, giving another kick at the top of Dave's head. Dave shoves the foot away from his head, takes a couple of steps away, and gives a quick show of the finger at English before he goes glaring back at her.

She chuckles and leans on one of her legs as she stares at him. "Damn, I didn't think you'd be this possessive over him. But that's great. I like it."

…What?

"You know, I was still a little bit worried that my _gay_ fiancé was going to have another bad boyfriend that was using him but I see he's _aaaaaaaall_ good."

"…Was?"

Okay, Dave is not angered anymore. He's confused now.

She laughs in front of Dave's face. She smirks and raises an eyebrow. "What I'm saying to you is your lover, _John_, isn't cheating on you with me. He can't. He's gay."

…_Huh_?!

But–

That—

But—!

"You're his _fiancé_!" Dave croaks out. He doesn't know what to think now! He was sad, then pissed off, and now he doesn't know if he's feeling relieved, more confused, shocked, or all of the above. Is this really happening? Dave will take this over anything bad right now.

The fiancé rolls her eyes. "It's a business engagement. You know, when rich people want their money to continue on living through their children and possible grandchild. I'm sure Dirk there has completed at least a mission on killing a business spouse or so."

"Ja, I did. Business engagement is just forceful shipping from old ass men. Happens a lot in the rich as fuck community."

"And really, if you're wondering why I kissed him, appearances still matter to us." She shrugs her shoulders. "We're still rich and "in love with each other." We have to make it appear like that to everyone, even in here."

…

…Oh.

"Oh…" Dave says. He feels his cheeks burning _way_ too hot for their own good. Scheiße, he doesn't want to see that smug yet playful smirk on her face. He… He really didn't' think it like that…

"_Aaaaaaaaw_~, I see John still has good tastes in looks. You're definitely hot and cute for a killer."

Dave looks away even more. Although Dave feels glad and relieved by the news, it is way too damn embarrassing to look at the person Dave was non-ironically pissed about just a while ago…

She giggles. "_So_, this is your brother or something, Dirk?"

"Yeah, twin brother, Vriska."

She turns her head and glances at the rather flustered-looking English. Huh, Dave didn't know English can blush bright red like that…

"And what about this cutie here? Doesn't say much."

English rubs the back of his head and opens his mouth. But all Dave can hear is non-ironic breathy stutters.

Holy Scheiße, English is acting like an ironic embarrassed high school girl confessing to her senpai! Dave covers his mouth, trying not to laugh as English is waving his hands around and still doing breathy stutters at Vriska.

"Don't tease him too much, Vriska." Dirk speaks out. Dave knows he's pissed on the inside. "He has his throat recovering from being sliced open. Don't strain him."

Vriska hums as she turns to look at Dirk. "I see… _Well_, I'm satisfied I didn't kill you that time. And now, you know my secret business fiancé who's gay. Good trade, huh?"

Dave can hear Dirk snort at this. "I think the timing's a bit off and late. And you being Ampora's sister is the bigger one to be honest."

Wait… Ampora's _sister_?!

Vriska laughs and out of the corner of Dave's eye, he can see her flip her hair.

"Well I got to admit, I still can't believe Eri is in here. But then again, John's here too." She coos. "I'm here just to give John a little bit of "comfort" and news if you're curious. And I'll be borrowing him for the day so there's that too."

Okay, Dave is way too damn confused on what's going on. He has been ironically in an experience of rushes of emotions in just one day. The high of relief and happiness isn't recovering much of his ironic emotional exhaustion, especially when Dave's remembering who Vriska is other than being a fiancé…

"Uh…" Dave seriously doesn't know what to say. He doesn't even know what to feel about her…

"Come on Vriska, can't you see that mein bruder has suffered enough emotionally?" Oh Gott sei Dank, Dirk is ironically saving him. "As you said, you'll be hanging out with John for today. Shouldn't waste valuable time like that, right?"

But Vriska giggles at this. "_Please_, I'll be seeing John soon. And really, I'm here for _two_ reasons."

"Two?"

Vriska pulls out her hand, the index and middle finger sticking out like she's giving a peace sign. She then puts down her middle finger.

"_One_, I need to explain to John's new boytoy that our relationship isn't anything of sexual or romantic –_But_ if said boytoy tries to break John's heart, I'll have people break his limbs and kill a person he cares about. At least, _of course_."

_Okay_, Dave definitely feels the sharp, shivering ear coursing over him. He remembers how merciless the Serket pirates are…

But there's no way Dave was going to treat John bad without that threat anyway.

"Well, since you're done with one," Dirk says. "What's two?"

Vriska doesn't answer. Instead, someone else did.

"VVris?! W-w-w-what are you doin' here?"

Vriska crosses her arms and leans back on the bars as she looks at the bewildered and shocked Ampora.

"Hey Eri," She greets as she does a little wave at him. Then she smirks at Captor. "_Well_, you're definitely not a cop. I know you. Nice to see you again, Captor."

Captor immediately glares at her. "Fuck off, Therket. Thtill haven't forgiven you about AA."

Vriska purses her lips and frowns a little. "Hey, Aradia is okay now and she already gave me a piece of her mind _and_ anger after she recovered. And I almost lost a good mechanic too –can't lose this one since the older one disappeared for some reason… So stop being so pissy, bipolar asshat."

Dave contains his chuckles as he sees Captor's expression. He looks so surprised and offended!

But then again, Dave sometimes forgets that the Serket pirates and the Ampora organization were once joined before the nasty divorce between the leaders…

At least the Striders knew not to get associated with the Makaras, bunch of crazy psycho clowns… Especially the one in this shithole.

She then flips her hair. "But I'm not here to talk to you, I'm here to talk to my brother."

"…I thought you didn't w-want us to be acquainted again, VVris." Ampora speaks acidly.

Vriska frowns deeper. "What? You still mad about me sinking one of your ships? It was an ugly boat anyway."

"No," Ampora growls out. "But I'm still fuckin' _livvid_ about the Spinneret's action durin' the divvorce."

Vriska scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Still pissed about that? Look, it's not my fault Mom wanted to show her current love affair in front of Dad. And really, I just want to talk to you –like siblings."

"And speakin' of fuckin' _siblings_, the thin' w-with this new-w "Mindfang." Did you really think that I w-wouldn't notice how-w she's usin' the Spinneret's former name w-while causin' fuckin' destruction out there? W-Well, _Marquise_?"

Vriska cringes at this. "…_Ooooooookay_, yeah, there's her…" She sighs. "But believe me, me and Mom aren't aiding in what she's doing. And trust me, I definitely don't like what she's doing. Especially with some of her decisions…"

Ampora crosses his arms and glares down at Vriska. "And how-w can I know-w that I can trust you? "Mindfang" may be usin' you to get to me. I havve thought associatin' w-with _him_. And as much as I loathe this, I havve to side w-with Captor's point of vview-w."

Captor whips his head and Dave can see that the lispy dude is staring wide-eyed at Ampora. Huh, is the guy actually blushing at what Ampora said? Dave successfully hides his chuckles at this.

"Wait, are you theriouthly agreeing with me?"

"Shut it, Captor. And just for your information, VVris here almost died of blood loss after w-what Megido did. So don't think I'm goin' to w-warm up to you either."

"…Fuck off…" Captor grumbles, looking away.

Vriska giggles. "Huh, didn't think you would be over your crush, Eri."

"Shut it, _VVris_." Ampora growls out with his cheeks reddened. "I don't w-want to hear about that! And don't think you can make me trust you through your meddlesome teasin'!"

Vriska laughs and smiles warmly at her brother. "Oh come on, Eri, you got to trust me. I'm not like Aranea or Mom. I mean, who do you think got you a Conqueror class battleship in a bottle on your birthday? You know, before you got here."

Ampora blinks and looks down. He fiddles with his collar.

"So, that w-was you…" He mumbles.

Vriska giggles. "And don't think I didn't notice that you and Cro visited me when I had the accident." She lifts her bionic arm. "And you really think that the horse pervert builder can keep a secret, especially when he keeps the receipt of what _you_ purchased."

Ampora's shoulders tense up and his blush spreads.

"…And you really think I didn't visit you when you… had your accident?"

Ampora immediately tenses and he puts his hand on his neck brace. He narrows his eyes at her.

"_Don't_ you dare mention w-what happened years ago, _evver_."

"Eri…"

"No! Don't think that I w-would –that I w-would…" Ampora takes a deep breath and sighs. "…Look, I know-w w-what accident you're talkin' about. And I know-w that w-we may be siblings but –but…"

"_Hey_," Dirk interrupts. "I don't know a whole lot about your troubling past but you guys ironically care about each other. And I get it that your parents have been shitty towards each other, especially with what Spinneret did when she was splitting up with him. But you two need to get your shit together and just be siblings that care each other. No pirates. No family business. Just siblings. Got it?"

Both Ampora and Vriska stare at Dirk. They blink a couple of times at him and then slowly turn to face each other.

"…_Fine_. Cro, for some reason, misses you." Ampora answers. But Dave can see Ampora is actually covertly relieved…

Huh, even Ampora can care about his siblings.

Vriska smiles warmly at this.

"Thanks Eri. As much as I don't want to admit it, I do miss your ugly mug and awful personality."

Ampora actually hums a chuckle at this. "The feelings aren't so mutual, VVris."

Vriska giggles. "I guess I deserve that since I did have John all to myself back then. And speaking of that cutie, why don't you join me going to the cafeteria? We can have a nice talk _and_ hang out with John. Let's give these hotties their talk, especially to _you_~."

Dave lets his jaw slack as he witnesses Vriska smirking and batting her eyelids at English. _English_!

And English looks like he's successfully attempting to be an ironic anime high school girl who got a compliment from senpai!

English's eyes are widened, mouth is parted and forming a weird smile, and a bright red blush is all over his face and neck. Dave can hear the gasps and quick exhales of air come out of Jake again. And if Jake had his throat recovered, he would be vocally stuttering. And the shaky hand that is pointing to himself adds to the complete and utter flustered look.

"_Vriska_," Dirk's voice booms out. Dave tries not to snort at the detected anger in Dirk's voice. "We'll be having our meeting _now_. You only have today, after all. You should head back _now_."

Vriska blinks at Dirk with confusion. But then she laughs. "Okay, okay," she giggles out. "Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, _okay_. Let's go to the cafeteria, Eri. John's waiting. And I don't want to start a lovers' quarrel just yet. But maybe~."

Vriska looks back at English. She takes a few steps. And then she grabs English's collar, pulls him, and gives English a big smooch.

Heilige Scheiße! She's –she's actually kissing him! And Ampora's and Captor's reaction! Holy Scheiße! Dave can only imagine what Dirk's face is morphing into!

Vriska finally stops kissing English and releases her grip on his collar. She smirks.

"Okay, I'm done. Bye, Dirk. Cute roommate. Let's go, Eri. John says a lady there has something special."

And Dave loses it as Vriska skips away with Ampora following.

Oh man! Even someone from the outside can see Dirk's infatuation with English!

"Bro, halt die Fresse." Dirk hisses out, a blush blooming on his face.

Dave laughs even harder.

"Tho Thtrider," Captor speaks out with a smirk. "Pothethive much?"

Dirk blushes harder. "I don't want to hear that from you, lispy hypocrite."

"Lithpy hypocrite?! Fuck you!"

Dave is trying to contain his laughter as he enjoys the bout between Captor and Dirk. Out of the corner of his eye, Dave can see Jake has a blank yet _really_ red face.

He's even holding out a blank paper!

Man!

Dave likes the fiancé!

* * *

><p><strong>And the next chapter is going to be the last chapter with Vriska in the prison. <strong>

**And if anyone is curious of what Eridan was saying about "Mindfang," "Spinneret," and "Marquise." Let's just say, they are supposed to be honorable codenames in the Serket piracy business. **

**The mother of Vriska and Aranea was "Mindfang" until she had to "retire" and became "Spinneret," a more political than chaotic leader. Vriska is "Marquise" who is partly in charge of the business. And Aranea is calling herself "Mindfang."**

**Hopefully ,that helps.**

**And sorry again for the long wait for this update. Luckily with the finals over, I get to have more time on writing and updating.**

**Thanks for reading and please review. Hope you guys have a nice day! Bye!**


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